Makes you think I had time to write then, doesn't it?
HA!
ha....
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| Hacker Girl Facebook sticker by Birdman, Inc. |
We're nearly at the half-way mark, and I'm not even at 5000 words.
To be fair, my third-ever NaNo in 2014 just barely had over 3000 words written, so I've at least surpassed that. I don't know if I'm going to hit half-NaNo stats like I did with my other two non-wins, but I'm trying.
I'm still struggling to find my groove with this story. When I'm in my flow I can crank out words pretty quickly. I can tear through my daily word-count goal in an hour or two; three tops. I mean, Build Your Own Luck started off as a simple headcanon thought that Tom made The Bracelet to try to cheer up Marinette, and as I was writing up my fan theory about it the one-shot birthed from my head like a 2800-word Athena. Same with my "ah-ha moment" when it came to the characterization of Gabriel Agreste, and that "simple" headcanon turned into a three-part character study on Tumblr; the three parts combined being like 11pgs long or something....
When I'm not in the groove though? It takes me two hours to write 211 words.
In an attempt to become re-inspired, I spent the week doing something you're "not supposed" to do during NaNo; during any first draft, really: edit. Too many writers get stuck trying to make their first draft the FINAL draft that they never actually complete it.
There is a writer in my local group who has read us the FIRST CHAPTER of her story about half-a-dozen times. Keep in mind that we only meet every other week, and there were some sessions where she didn't read. She FINALLY moved onto the second chapter, barely, only a week or two ago. That's about six months just on the FIRST CHAPTER.
She wanted it perfect. She needed it to be perfect. She just couldn't move on until she got the exact word she needed in this sentence, or until that sentence had the perfect structure. Omnibladestrike is very much the same way. He wants his first draft to be perfection, so he edits and edits and edits before ever moving past the first chapter. It's a dangerous trap, because struggling to hit perfection in that first chapter, while you're still learning about your characters and world, tends to kill an author's inspiration and motivation. You don't see progress, so you feel that lack of development, and the story tends to die. Or at least goes into hibernation.
This is why, NaNo participant or no, you really shouldn't edit the first draft. Just get the crap on paper; polish later.
That all being said, sometimes editing what you have thus far is helpful. As you edit you discover things that helps you push forward in the story. As you figure out what you don't like about the chapter and why, you also see character or world development you didn't know before, and it helps you create more of your tale.
Omni did it with his one original story. He was stuck in the first chapter, and with all of his re-works he realized what wasn't working for him was the history and basic build of the culture he created. Since they are the backbone of his story, finally figuring out that's what he needed to fix - and figuring out what works better for him - rejuvenated his writing spirit. At least, for a little bit.
For my fellow writer at group, each edit brought out a bit more character development. Each pass made the characters more real to her, which made her more invested in her work, which helped her move past that intro. The environment became more solid to her as well.
And now with me? Well, as I went back and re-read the scenes I excitedly wrote in September, I felt the energy I once had for "One and the Same." I remembered why I want to write this story. I think I was too much in my head. I think I worried too much about "what if it's a flop? What if people don't think it's a decent sequel to PT? What if it ends up being self-indulgent crap?"
First of all, fanfiction readers LOVE self-indulgent crap because more often than not they want the same self-indulgence.
Story all about fluff with little plot to it? Just the couple having a pillow fight while watching a movie together? That's some of the most popular stuff on FFN and AO3!
Secondly, as ChibiSunnie, Ali Luke, Cyhyr, and Jowy's Pixie all pointed out to me: don't write for the audience; write for me. The audience will find it. If I enjoy it; they will.
I keep telling DFL this whenever she's concerned that her Babylonian-era story isn't as "flashy" as some of our other stories. How is it that I can hand out writing advice, but never seem to hear it myself?
I needed to re-find my story, and my love for it. My NEED to tell it, the same way I NEEDED to tell “Peeping Tomcat”. I'm still not sure the story grabs me the same way; pushing me to tell it. I am getting more excited though.
I went back through bits of PT to get some of my in-universe canonical timeline figured out - pre-established events such as the launch of Gabriel's newest fashion line, for instance - and then continued working on it for OatS. Getting a better feel for what's happening when in the world around Adrien and Marinette helps me figure out what they're doing. Despite the fact that they're characters and I can totally have everything revolve around their story, I like making the world feel more real by NOT having it revolve around them. I like having things happen in the world and having my characters react or have to organize their lives around it. So knowing dates to important things helps me plot overall.
The next bits are going to have minor spoilers, so just scroll pass quick if you want to avoid them.
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Okay, for those of you who don't care about spoilers.... here's a "for instance" of that world-events-help-me-plot concept, using the aforementioned Gabriel line launch as an example. Gabe has decided that he likes Marinette's portfolio and wants to meet with her, but he is too busy with his launch - and.... other... priorities - to be able to meet with her until the new line is on the market. I now know that this leaves Marinette in a sort of limbo for a week, which gives her more than enough time to overthink things. Which also means it is the perfect time for some MariChat goodness as Chat Noir tries to calm her down, and remind her that she's a fantastic designer.
And that's just one example.
I have two full notebook pages working out the timeframe of OatS, and I'm not even to the midpoint of my story yet.
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| Obviously don't read if you don't want spoilers, but this should give you a rough idea of what my week looked like. |
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| OatS events aren't in stone quite yet, so they're written in pencil... |
As of right now I have two tweaked scenes: the MariChat ones. I'm still not entirely sure the lead-in to them, but I'm loving the interactions between Marinette and Chat Noir, especially since one is told through Adrien's POV and the other is told through Marinette's. Watching Adrien's reaction to Marinette through his eyes, and then later through hers, was so much fun to play with. Trying to show Marinette's confusion while in Adrien's POV, and then trying to show Adrien's angst through Marinette's POV was also so much fun. These poor dense little beans have no clue what is going on with the other, and it's beautiful.
So I think I need to just stay here for a week or so. I need to focus on the MariChat goodness, and sprinkle in some Marinette confusion with Adrien acting more like Chat Noir. I actually thought of the opening to one of those scenes this morning. It's not terribly much, but it's something:
It needs some polishing, but, hey, that's another 241 words I didn't have yesterday! And now I'm just 99 words shy of 5,000."Marinette! Hey, Marinette, wait up!" Adrien waved down to me from outside Miss Bustier's classroom on the second floor. He jogged to the top of the stairs, but about half way down he was blocked by the crowd of students descending to the school's courtyard.
While we were waiting for Adrien to catch up with us, Alya playfully elbowed me and stifled a chuckle.
"Whatever he wants seems pretty urgent," she teased.
I blushed. It sounded like she was implying that there was something romantic there, but I knew that couldn't be true. Adrien only saw me as a friend. He only ever saw me as a friend, and that's all he'll ever see me as.
The crowd was heading down the stairs too slow for Adrien apparently, because with about a quarter of the way to go he just hurdled the banister. With his legs dangling along the outside, he slid the rest of the way down, pushing off about a meter from the bottom. Landing gracefully on his feet, he jogged over to us.
"Did- did he just-" Alya wagged her head between me and Adrien.
It was fine that she couldn't finish her question, because I wouldn't have been able to register it anyway. Adrien. Adrien Agreste. The reserved and refined love of my life. He just slid down the stair's banister. At school. Who else have I seen do something like that? My mind was short circuiting.
More importantly, though, is that it's the start - or rather middle - of another scene! This would be the chapter when we first see Adrien trying to act more like his Chat Noir half while he's in civilian form, and particularly around Marinette. A way of maybe getting a bead of how she feels about his more goofy and carefree self when Paris isn't in danger.
Writing Adrien with his Chat Noir personality is going to be so much fun. Having Marinette's brain implode as she's trying to connect the dots will be equally fun.
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OKAY! PEEPS WHO WANTED TO AVOID SPOILERS! IT'S SAFE TO READ AGAIN!
I think I need fun again. I'll go back to angst and akuma attacks later.
I also need to figure out a soundtrack for my story. That stuff really does help me. It drowns out the rest of the world - which has been majorly distracting me this past week - and gets me into the proper mindset. While I was working on the PT edits the first half of the year I frequently listened to songs on repeat to get me in the proper mood. I even stated which ones I was using here in my blog, if you wanted to go back and check that out.
I don't really have anything set up for OatS though, which could be a small part of the problem.
The writing sprints last week were the largest chunk of my writing thus far. In part that could be because I was in a distraction-free room for two hours with the sole purpose of writing. In part, it could be because I finally fell into a flow towards the end of the session. After threading together disjointed scenes from my "follow your muse" hopping the first few days, I was able to write a pretty steady stream of words; doubling the amount I had written thus far that day.
I know part of that final word dump was because I built off the energy of the music I was listening to. In particular, I absorbed a whole bunch of energy bouncing back and forth between two songs:
POP/STAR by K/DA
(sung by Miyeon and Soyeon from the Korean band (G)I-dle,
and American singers Madison Beer, and Jaira Burns)
The other video I had on loop?
Shatter Me by Lindsey Stirling, feat Lzzy Hale
Also... Lzzy Hale's voice has always been inspiring to me. I mean, there's also this song for one of My Girls...
I Get Off by Halestorm
Both a bit of a far cry from what I'm doing right now with sweet and innocent Marinette and Adrien!
Oh, and who could forget this other Halestorm song... a bit of a dedication from Willow to Devon... whoops. Sorry, son.
It's Not You by Halestorm
Especially with lines like "someone who has raise the bar" and "you've probably never been shot down before" both hinting at Chat Noir's Adrien side in opposing and ironic ways.
After a quick search on YouTube I did find one AMV done to this song, but it's just a bunch of quick shots of Marinette, Adrien, and Chloe... but done in such a way that I have no clue what's going on. Is Adrien singing the song to Chloe about Marinette? Is it to Marinette about Chloe? Is it Chloe to Adrien, suggesting a love for Marinette? Or vice versa? I mean with the shippers in this fandom any of the above could be accurate.... And to make things more confusing, Lila is randomly thrown in at the end???
Nope. I need to find an editing program and make one myself.
Buuut, that's for Future Me. Present Me has to stop being distracted by side projects, and answering emails, and trying to play catch-up on Tumblr.... which is a bit of a Sisyphean task since my drafts - i.e. read in more depth and/or reblog later - are now way over 700 posts deep, and I seem to add more than I empty out....
I need to lock myself down and just WRITE, DANG-IT!
So that's my goal this week. Not to catch up to the 21,666 words I should have by the close of the day today. Although, if I literally did nothing but sit and write all day today I could totally hit 16000+ words. My goal isn't even to write the 1667 words that make up the daily NaNo word goal. My goal isn't going to be to write the 11,669 words this week that is the standard weekly NaNo word goal.
Nope. None of that. My goal this week is to write SOMETHING. Something this week that makes me not embarrassed about my progress. My goal is to write enough that I'll proudly put that NaNo calendar up on this blog again.
I can't do that until I stop writing here though. Until next week then!
