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Yeah, so, as exhausted as *I* am, he's 10x more-so.
How does any of this translate to ME working off of 3hrs of sleep? Well, readers that have been around since I started this blog might remember how much I HATE when Hubby does the overnights. Once upon a time, he'd go in for the Saturday-to-Sunday overnights every week in order to switch out the tags for that week's sales. I just couldn't fall asleep without him home, and so I'd have insomnia those nights. Sometimes I'd power through the night and Hubby and I would crash when I got him home after his shift. Sometimes exhaustion would overtake me and I'd actually pass out about 3am or 4am. Well, last night was one of those nights. Could NOT fall asleep until 3:30ish, and I needed to be up at about 6:45 so I had time to quickly get ready before picking Hubby up at 7.
Caffeine is my friend today.
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Sorta.
So, you guys already know that my anniversary threw me off last week, and so it actually kept me 3 days to write my blog, and a fourth to edit and FINALLY publish it. Yeah... that seems to be the trend for my writing this month.
After publishing my blog post, I spent the rest of Friday cleaning my apartment and researching for my story for Ronoxym. I found a lot of really neat info, but it also meant I got lost on Wikipedia for hours on end. I also talked quite a bit with Wolfhearted throughout the day. Sometimes it was about Ron's story, sometimes it was about Miraculous Ladybug, and sometimes it was about stupid stuff because why not? I also wrote up my basic concept for my story and sent it to Wolf to read over. It really helped me sort of solidify my idea to write it out like that. It also spotlighted the bits I still needed to figure out.
So figure out I tried. Saturday I went back to researching. The biggest thing I noticed is that most of my supernatural references I was using were European/UK based, and yet I randomly threw a Japanese myth in as well. I had to decide if I was going to go all-or-nothing. I either had to pull in myths from the rest of Asia, India, Africa, and Central/South America, or I had to keep the references strictly European - and by extension North American/Australian due to colonization.
I once more got lost on Wikipedia, and once more found a LOT of really interesting stuff. However, I couldn't find anything from non-European cultures that really worked with the concept I had come up with, so I caved and dropped the Japanese reference. I could always mention that this was just the "European/American branch" and that there were other branches covering the other regions/cultures of the world.
Content that I had researched enough - at least, to start - I FINALLY wrote my first word of Ron's story. The set-up kept a bit longer than I originally anticipated, but it almost always does that to me. I was at 4pgs and nearly 2200 words when I had to stop for the day. I still need to go back to re-read and edit what I have, and then finish the actual story. However, I do not have it done yet, and I doubt I'll have it done in time for Writer's Group to critique it in time to help me edit. I mean, I could give them the opening and see what they think of that....
Again, I'm hoping to have the story done by the 18th, so I only have 10 more days to lock this down. I can do it!
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As I mentioned on Friday, Sunday was the start of this Fruits Basket fan event. We were given seven single-word prompts: one per day of Kyoru Week. We are then challenged to use the Word of the Day to create fanfiction or fanart focused on the relationship - usually romance - between Kyo and Tohru.
I was going to do more writing at work, but got distracted by another creative project. For Halloween, the local businesses are participating in a scarecrow design contest. My manager and co-worker signed the store up on one of my days off, and the two of them decided on Jack Skellington and Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas.
I mean, we could have, but my co-worker - who pitched the idea of Jack and Sally - never actually saw the movie, and so she just knew Sally had a patchwork dress and ran with it. Okay. Close enough. I joked that we had Zack and Suzy instead of Jack and Sally; ya know, to avoid copyright infringement.
Anyway, the scarecrows needed to be up by yesterday, but Sally's dress still needed to be finished. I decided that was priority, so I finished sewing on the patches my co-worker started, and I added on Sally's capped sleeves.
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| Same basic feel as Sally, right? |
Anyway, that project took up most of the 5hr work day I had on Sunday. Then, when I got home, I had a quick meal with Hubby before he had to go back to work; yes, he also did a last-minute split-shift on Sunday to help cover with all of the coverage loss at work.
I finally had a moment to sit and write at about 6:30 on Sunday. I had every intention to continue working on Ron's story then, that way it could be set for tonight's writing group. However, as I wound down from my day, and flipped through Tumblr quickly, I was reminded that Sunday was Day 1 of Kyoru week!
Shoot!
I wanted to participate, I had yesterday and today to still work on Ron's story before group, and Ron's story is already "late" at this point, so what would a couple more days hurt? Shelving my original story, I began thinking about what to do with the Day One prompt: Stay.
I started by reading through the other stories submitted. See if any of them spark anything. I then thought of two songs I know with "Stay" as their title.
First was the song I've been obsessing over lately. In fact, I've had it on repeat the whole time I've been writing this blog.
"Stay" by The Score.
It has such a nice beat to it to get you pumped. That bass, man. Plus, I love the lyrics. In case you can't really read that lyric video, here they are again:
The lyrics are just awesome for Fruits Basket stories. The desire to be someone else? The want to be perfect? The constant reminder to just stay who you are? Those lyrics just scream out Kyo and/or Yuki. In fact, if I could get video and an editing suite, I would be so tempted to make this into a Furuba music video.I've been lying to myself, at night
Thinking everything is alright
Yeah, I get lost in this state of mind
Losing my words got me, got me, got me tongue tied
Doubt myself and I don't know why
I wish I wasn't this person sometimes (times, times)
I make mistakes but I think it's just fine (fine, fine)
It's just fine
And I tell myself
Stay, who you are
Don't be afraid
When it all comes crashing
Stay, who you are
Don't be afraid, stay
I'm so tired trying to walk the line
Just to measure up, I'm done trying
Yeah, I get lost in this state of mind
Losin' my way every, every, every time, I
Doubt myself and I don't know why
I wish that I could be perfect sometimes (times, times)
I make mistakes but I think that it's just fine (fine, fine)
It's just fine
When it all comes crashing, stay
Who you are don't be afraid
When it all comes crashing, stay
Who you are don't ever change
Stay
Stay
Stay
Stay, who you are don't be afraid
When it all comes crashing, stay
Who you are don't ever change
Stay
Stay
Stay
However, the lyrics do lean more towards Kyo by himself, and/or Yuki by himself. Aside from maaaaaaaybe questioning if she's a bit too ditzy, Tohru never really challenges the idea of changing who she is. And, yes, she does remind each boy that he's amazing as he is, she never officially tells them to not change. Besides, the lyrics to the song imply that it's an inner voice reminding the singer to not change.
It's a great song for a Kyo and/or Yuki themed story, but not really one for a Kyo and Tohru themed story. Especially one focused on their relationship. So, over to the second song I thought of the moment I saw the prompt word.
"Stay" by Mad At Gravity. This one was a college staple of mine, and I'm pretty sure Hubby was the one who introduced me to this band. With this song, specifically. Now, the version I know, and the one I can find on YouTube, is the "rare acoustic demo" but I can't seem to find an official studio-release of this song. If you've heard the non-acoustic version, please feel free to leave me the link in the comments section. I'm itching to hear it.
Either way, the acoustic version is probably more sorrowful sounding anyway, so it works.
Here's the lyrics.
So angsty. Now, the lyrics, especially with how angst-ridden it is, screams a Kyo-to-Tohru story. Lyrics like "Slices right through my thick skin / Yet I seek another high" and "And I'm out here on a limb / But I'm holding out my hand / Hoping you can make the climb with me" and "Trying silence on for size" and "There's ages between / My heart and my mouth" all FEEL like they were written specifically for Kyo.I can feel you pull away
And it's just as I lean in
And the timing leaves me wide open
With a miss I am betrayed
Slices right through my thick skin
Yet I seek another high
I'm asking you to stay in my arms
Away you're breaking me apart
Stay in my arms
Away you're breaking me apart
And I'm out here on a limb
But I'm holding out my hand
Hoping you can make the climb with me
And I'm carving in the bark
And dropping down to where you stand
Trying silence on for size
I'm asking you to stay in my arms
Away you're breaking me apart
Stay in my arms
Away you're breaking me apart
And I miss you in my fingers
And valleys in between
It's odd how feelings linger
For something yet unseen
There's ages between
My heart and my mouth
My veins throb with that
Which I cant spit out
Now I don't need much
Just presence in mind
And the assurance
Your ache matches mine
So stay
Please don't pull away from me
Stay in my arms
Away you're breaking me apart
Stay in my arms
Away you're breaking me apart
However!
First of all, I already wrote an "Angsty Kyo to Tohru" story: Unsent Letter
Secondly, all of those lyrics can also apply to Tohru, even if it doesn't feel quite as obvious.
Tohru, arguably, has thick skin as well. How else would you explain her befriending people who were straight up cruel to her when they first met: Uotani, Hiro, Akito, Rin, and even Kyo to some extent. The fact that she's out on a limb and hope that he'd make the climb with her may seem odd since he's the cat and therefore climbs up things all the time. However, for her to INITIATE the climb? He generally snubs things she initiates - at least, at first - because he likes to keep his Tough Guy persona, and fears following behind Tohru would diminish that. Tohru is also a very talkative person, sometimes to the point of rambling. However, she also knows when to sit and listen, and she figures out fairly early that Kyo needs a listener so he feels included. So, you could say she's "trying silence on for size" to see how it fits for their relationship. Much like Kyo, Tohru also can't quite figure out how to express her feelings. Mostly because she fears that she's reading too far into their relationship; seeing romantic advances where there might not be any. That, and she's a bit of a ditz who doesn't notice his non-verbal cues.
Much like Kyo, she is wondering if he hurts as much as her that they aren't together. She also longs for him to stay in her arms - turning into a cat or no - or at least hold hands - "And I miss you in my fingers / And valleys in between." Being apart hurts her, and this is showcased A LOT in the series.
The cincher for me is that it's usually Kyo that pulls away. He's the one who puts up the emotional barrier. It's mostly because he fears his future isolation - and feels guilty about Kyoko - but still, it's HIM that pulls away.
It may be a male singing the song, but this is completely TOHRU'S song to Kyo.
Feeling confident in that decision, I started writing the story from Tohru's perspective. It was going to be an angsty story about her wanting Kyo to admit his feelings, or at least let her know if he didn't feel anything romantic for her. It would be her pain as she tried to coax Kyo to stay with her; be with her; let her hold him, even if it's just his hand. He was going to be his aloof self; struggling to keep his feelings for Tohru hidden. It was going to hurt. It was going to be angst-ridden. It was going to be beautiful.
It was also going to be way too long.
I didn't actually start writing anything until 8pm, and I knew I was going to pause for an hour while watching one of my TV shows. That left me with three hours to write, edit, and publish. There was another hour lost to texting with friends and picking Hubby up from his second shift of the day. Now I was down to two hours! After my first one, I realized the story I was going for was going to take too much time to tell. I had to simplify.
So, when I got back to writing at about 11pm, I edited, cut down, and reworked. It's not nearly as knife-turning as I originally aimed, but it is still a decent show of how oblivious these two are. Plus, I got to write a pseudo-tsundere Kyo. That's always fun.
In the end, however, I didn't finish writing until 12:15am, and I didn't have the story formatted and posted to Tumblr until 12:45-ish. So... I was technically late, but it was before I went to bed, and it was still October 6th on the West Coast. So..... still counts?
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I'm letting you know right now, my titles are even more trash than normal this week. I just... I can't think of anything properly poetic, but I wanted more than "Kyoru Week" and the daily prompt word. So... please forgive me my titles, and if you have suggestions for alternative, you are more than welcome to leave them in the comments section.
As of right now, the name of the entire Kyoru Week collection is Hearts Together. Yeah...
The story for Day 1: Stay, is called
"Small Talk"
I'm going to wait until next week to note my over-all stats. I probably won't be able to figure out which chapters are more popular than others that way, but I'm already so far behind on everything I don't really have stats for Day One vs Day Two anyway.
Speaking of Day Two....
After my fail with Day One, I tried reallllllllly hard to get my act together for Day Two. I went to bed knowing the prompt was going to be "Firsts." I tried to fall asleep picturing what that could mean.
I woke up with a list of potential "firsts" for a couple. Admittedly, my mind DID briefly stop at "write smut; their first time intimately together." I... quickly breezed past that. It was in the back pocket for a sort of "last resort" but I wanted to stay fairly PG/PG-13 with this story. I then thought about the excitement - and perhaps challenge - of buying furniture for the first time. Which lead me to "their first apartment together." It wouldn't be the first time they lived together, but it would be the first time they did so without any sort of "buffer roommates" as it were.
I continued to think about the story as I did errands and cleaned the apartment some more. I also got a bit sidetracked with errands that sort of sprang up on me; unexpected responsibilities I needed to handle. Mostly because of Hubby having a longer-than-expected shift, and then going back for the overnight. Which meant I had to shift things like laundry around so he had something clean to wear when he went back to work. One of Hubby's friends also asked us to the movies with him, which meant I had to rearrange things I was going to do today so that we had time to hit up the movies. More things to do last night, such as grocery shopping. On top of all of that, I also got distracted when Ron's still awaiting story crept in for me to ponder a bit.
Somehow, throughout the day, I got worried that "first apartment" wouldn't be an entertaining story, so I tried to figure out other non-sexual firsts. However, most of those were already talked about in depth within the manga: the first time they met, the first time they lived together, the first time they really hung out as friends, the first time they held hands, the first time they told each other they loved each other, the first time they kissed, the first time they hugged, the first time they hugged without Kyo transforming, the first trip they took together, etc.
A lot of other participants seemed to focus on Kyo's and Tohru's first child: Hajime. It was sweet, but it was what most people were getting as they read through the event tag. Plus, the stories were more focused on Hajime and how the couple was as parents. It wasn't really focused on Kyo's and Tohru's relationship with each other. There were also a small handful of people who focused on Kyoru's first fight. However, arguably they already had those in the manga as well.
I tried to brainstorm with Hubby as I brought him home for those four hours, but I also had to do the laundry, as I mentioned, so I was doing a LOT of running around. I was also stuck in a Bad Luck cloud. Little things all day: dropping a dish I JUST WASHED on the yet-to-be-washed floor; the shower curtain rod falling on me, twice; my bathrobe billowing out further from my hips than I thought, and therefore knocking over a collection of plastic bottles I needed to bring to the recycling center; my milk hitting my cup of coffee at JUUUUUST the right angle that it splashed my coffee up at me; a sealed bag not properly tearing open when I tried to get to my daily supplemental pills; the chain to the ceiling fan/light snapping so I had to climb up a ladder to reattach it; etc.
It was an exhausting day. By the time I actually had a moment to sit down and WRITE my story, it was about 11pm!
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| Hacker Girl Facebook sticker by Birdman, Inc. |
I was actually impressed that I was able to write it so quickly, and when I proofread before publishing to my other sites this morning I didn't find too many errors. So... yay.
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The title's still trash though.
"Experience It All"
Now to figure out today's prompt: Selfish.
Also... ya know... Ron's birthday story....
But first, I need to get going! The movie is going to start in about 90minutes, and 40 of that will be used up with driving to the theater!
OH! But before I jet, I'm not the only one who connected with her muse this week.
Taurus Pixie was able to finally figure out her story Immortal Bond and was able to upload the restarted version as Immortal Bonds. How cheeky, including the 's' to get around the "no duplicate titles" thing. This way, if you liked the way the original was written, you can still read that incomplete version. Pixie can also keep all of her lovely reviews, and compare the stats of her new version to those of her original. All while essentially keeping her original title, which she loved and was perfect for her story. YAY!
Right now Immortal Bonds only has a short prologue up, but it's a jumping point. It's an achievement proving that the year-long wait was worth it for both her and her readers. If you like dark, occult-themed AUs, where the main character accidentally summons a not-necessarily-malicious demon, by all means go check out Immortal Bonds!
As for me? I REALLY need to jet now. Bye!
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