Showing posts with label burnout. Show all posts
Showing posts with label burnout. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 17, 2024

Vacation Time Bay-bee!

Est. Read Time: 27min
This Month's Font: Merienda

Hey, peeps! Have I mentioned yet how good I am at hitting deadlines?

Generated by Bitmoji

So, probably surprising absolutely NO ONE at this point, here's my JUNE blog update... over half way into JULY!

If you couldn't guess on the reason behind my (yet again) delayed update... the burn out hasn't really eased up in the past month.

Granted, I didn't have to deal with minor psychological torture this time, but I also haven't had the breaks I needed to recover. Welcome to adulthood, I guess, where you truly never get the time to recover from burn out. Weeeeee.

My manager realized how much PTO she had built up, and, quite frankly, the job hasn't been treating her the greatest lately, mostly with regards to her paychecks. So, she figured "screw it, I'm not going to feel guilty about taking time off anymore." I praise her for doing so. She earned those days off, she SHOULD take them to recoup and just enjoy life!

Problem being that there is no coverage at work when one of us takes time off via PTO or sick days. So June was another month of loooooong weeks between my days off. Partly due to Manager taking four-to-five-day weekends twice. And she still has something like TWENTY (20) PTO days to use up before the end of the year! And next year should be her 10yr anniversary with the company, which means she'll be earning even MORE vacation time per year! (Also, yes, that is a shit-ton of PTO, which is AMAZING, but we also always feel guilty about actually USING it. See above)

Tanuki
Facebook sticker
by Yanare Ku

I think what made everything a little bit worse for me was that my manager and coworker kept referencing my "vacation" at the end of June because I'd be gone for four days.

Peeps, this was NOT a vacation. Not the way *I* would define it, at least. It SHOULD NOT COUNT as a vacation simply because I was off of work more than 2 days in a row. 

First of all, I wasn't taking any PTO. I couldn't. I have my PTO spread too thin to begin with, between my ACTUAL vacation to celebrate my 40th (which I officially started when I clocked out yesterday - EEEEEEE), another mini-vacation to visit my family for Thanksgiving and to celebrate Hubby's birthday, and then there's my sister's wedding right after Hubby's and my anniversary in October. So, to save my ACTUAL PTO for all of that, I simply requested that my normal two days off per week got shifted so they were back-to-back: Friday and Saturday being my two days off one week; Sunday and Monday being my two days off the following week.

Which means I had to go over a week between my previous day off - of which I only had one that week due to covering for Manager's vacation - and my long weekend. Then, I ended up losing a day of pay the week I came back from said long weekend.

Yeah. Despite it being a national holiday, and therefore the store is closed on Independence Day, it is an UNPAID holiday if you work in the stores. They just consider it one of your two weekly unpaid days off. Since this was actually my third day off that week - having requested Sunday and Monday off - I either had to use PTO to cover one of those three days, or simply lose 8hrs of pay. And well.... as I mentioned, I don't have the available PTO, sooooooo....

Being an adult is FUN, you guys!

Generated by Bitmoji

Needless to say, going into this long weekend was stressful and added to my burn out. Coming out of the long weekend was financially stressful. And the weekend itself? Eh. Didn't really do much for the recovery part.

OK, so what did I even DO during this long weekend that made it worth taking off in the first place? Well, it was my sister's bridal shower, as well as the Jack & Jill party; a combined bachelor and bachelorette party so the bride and groom can celebrate together.

The weekend started off with me staying up way too late on Thursday trying to get everything prepped for the weekend and actually crashing - full-on passing out - mid-activity. Hubby forced me to go to bed before we were done packing up for our trip (fair). This meant waking up earlier than planned so we had enough time to get showered and finish packing before running to the eye doctor's to get Hubby's lenses updated in his glasses. Once that was done, it was time to hit the road for a 4hr drive (of which I do all the driving; Hubby can't drive). We had some fun with summer road construction traffic (note the sarcasm). We then got to my mom's in time to say hi and sort out how her kitchen was now set up (she re-arranges A LOT) before Mom had to head off to work. While Mom was gone, Hubby and I headed to the store to gather up the ingredients needed for Hubby to make a cheesecake for the potluck portion of the Jack & Jill the next day. Hubby baked while I took advantage of my mother's washer and dryer and washed over a week's worth of laundry via three separate loads. There was a LITTLE bit of relaxing in there - Hubby and I watched a movie - before we hit the hay early in an attempt to try to catch up on sleep.

Saturday was just a ball of stress leading into the Jack & Jill. No need to air out the drama, but it was not a relaxing morning leading into my heading out to the party at 1:30. There were also a few hiccups during the party itself. Some financial stress as we hopped from one venue to the next before finishing at the groom's brother's house for the potluck. Some awkward lull here and there as we only really knew my sister, her fiancé, her future in-laws, and one of her high school friends. All-in-all the party was positive and we did have fun, but it was far from relaxing.

Sunday, Hubby and I helped my poor mother scramble as she tried to finish the prep-work on the bridal shower. It was originally going to be outside, but there was a bunch of weather reports predicting high winds and thunder storms. Mom had already lost a LOT of branches from her tree in the backyard, and did not want to chance more branches falling - or lightning striking - while people were outside! Fair enough! Except, my mom has a TEENY little house and it was a FEAT to try to cram 20+ adults into this tiny home. Add in that it's the summer, we've been going through heat waves, and the humidity just WILL NOT BREAK. My mom only has two window AC units, so she was doing whatever she could to make those units work overtime, assisting them with a train of fans trying to circulate the cooler air throughout the house. The already relatively limited floor space was also overburdened with collapsible chairs to try to get enough seating for everyone.

Add in that the predicted storm didn't actually show up until the tail end of the party, and only lasted about 20min. Which meant that, for the majority of the party, people were a touch passive-aggressive about being in the hot house instead of outside (despite us stating multiple times that they were welcome to grab their chairs and some food and hang outside if they preferred). I also spent a large portion of the day chasing after my mom to remind her to sit and drink and eat and just SOCIALIZE with the guests she was hosting. 

All while my patient and understanding husband was pretty much exiled to the guest bedroom in the attic, with no AC to be seen..... for the duration of the 4hr party.

On the plus side, it truly was nice to see friends and family that I haven't talked to in person for at least a decade, if not longer. All-in-all, it was a lovely party. Just... not a very RELAXING one.

And, MY GOODNESS! The SPREAD! Trying to sort out where to put all of the FOOD! First, where was my mother going to store it prior to the party? Then, where were we going to go with the left-overs? Not to mention us scrambling to sort out where to put it for the party itself now that Mom couldn't put out collapsible tables like she would for the backyard! Let alone preparing it all in the first place! My mother does not know how to do things by halves, that is for sure!

Here we have punch, four different pinwheel wraps, veggie cups with three types of dip, tossed green salad with a row of dressing options (along with other toppings that you can't see in the picture), potato salad, meatballs in the slow cooker (not pictured: another slow cooker with sausages, along with packages of rolls for the sausages and meatballs), fruit salad, and orzo salad done two ways due to dietary restrictions. There was also a pitcher of sweet tea and a pitcher of lemonade.

And across my mother's coffee table we have just one giant charcuterie board! Toddler unintentionally used for scale....

In my sister's old room were the desserts that I forgot to take pictures of! Along with making the aforementioned meatballs and sausages, the mother-of-the-groom had baked cookies and cupcakes! My aunts provided the fruit salad and helped put the charcuterie table together (Hubby also helped with the charcuterie). I believe the groom's aunt provided the potato salad? I forgot who brought that.

Point being that there weren't even 30 people at this party! And my mom had MORE food in the fridge in case we needed to refill anything! I don't think my mother has to grocery shop throughout the entirety of July! Hubby and I were sent home with three decent-sized containers filled with the left over fruit salad. A baggy of the variety Babybel cheese also came home with us. As did a log of mozzarella.

That doesn't even include the Jack & Jill the night before, where we had maybe an even BIGGER spread! There were around 15 of us by the time we ended at the groom's brother's house for the potluck dinner... where said brother bought basically a large pizza for each of us, two cookie sheets worth of chicken nuggets, a party platter of soft pretzel dippers, and a tray of seasoned French fries. Their kitchen table was also bursting with snacky things like a variety of chips and dips (provided by some of the guests). Other guests - including me and Hubby - brought a variety of desserts: cookies, cakes, s'mores fixings (which we didn't end up touching), and a fruit salad. And my sister decided to make her own charcuterie display. Not as massive as Mom's was the following day, but still impressive none-the-less.

It may have been a stressful weekend, but it was also a well-fed weekend!

Also, my sister seemed to have enjoyed herself in the end, and that's the important part.

The initial point still stands, however, that there was FAR too much food, and both prepping it and figuring out how to store it were all added stressors that my mother clearly didn't need to take on.

Anyway, rounding out the long weekend (emphasis on "long"), after the bridal shower, Hubby and I followed my sister back to her new house. Primarily, it was to help bring the gifts the happy couple received at the shower back to their home. It also gave us an excuse for Sis to give me and Hubby the grand tour. The place really is cute and quite lovely. I'm happy for them. 

While at Sis's place, we finished up Hubby's mixed-berry sangria cheesecake from the Jack & Jill. (Like I said, it was a well-fed weekend!) Then it was time to head back to my mom's.

Monday, I attempted to get some relaxing in finally. I was up early with intentions of getting reading done or working on this very blog post or even finishing up edits on my fanfic (more on that in a moment). Things did not go as planned. I won't get into it, but... my "me time" moments were frequently interrupted. I eventually waved the white flag and instead stole my mom's laundry room one last time to clean everything we wore over the weekend. Only clean clothes coming home!

Before we were ready to head out, though, Mom wanted to take me dress shopping for my sister's wedding. Sis doesn't have an official wedding party and therefore no official bridesmaid gowns. I just needed to find a new wedding-appropriate dress to wear. So we store-hopped between something like 4 or 5 places dress shopping. Most of the time I couldn't find a dress in the desired colors or the right feel for the wedding theme or even within my size. We won't even talk about poor Hubby. He pretty much gave up on ever finding a dress shirt in his size after the 2nd store....

Clothes shopping? Definitely not relaxing for us. Far from "retail therapy". But, I did end up finding two dress options, both under $30 a piece. Mom bought both of them for me, sent pictures to my sister to see if she had a preference on which dress I should wear, and then we headed back to my mom's for a late lunch. Time to pack up. Then on the road we went... about an hour later than I wanted.... weeeeee. More fun in the road construction traffic! Wee again. Then unpacking, making our bed (we took the sheets to my mom's for cleaning), and getting clothes prepped for work the next day. WEEEEEEE.

All-in-all, the weekend may have been more fun than anticipated, but it certainly left no room for recovering from burn out or relieving much stress. That's for sure!

Generated by Bitmoji

Granted, my coworker could probably say the same thing about her vacations, but she OPTS to go to Disney World multiple times a year. She could just stay home, but Disney is her Happy Place. So.... yeah.... not the same thing. And DEFINITELY not the same as when Manager uses her PTO to stay at home to recoup, catch up on house work, relax, go visit her daughter and grandbabies, etc.

Sooooo, TL;DR... definitely NOT a "vacation" that I could use to recoup from my burnout.

Another thing that probably didn't help was my frustration in my lack of writing time. Between my work, Hubby's work, and preparing for the long weekend, my free time to hide away to work on writing just vanished.

Remember how I said that I was working on a Hailey's On It! fanfic after watching the finale in May? I had already feared that I was too late to the party, as it were, since I didn't write the fic in November when I first thought of it, or even in March when the back half of the first season of HOI was going to air. Well, I just added to that anxiety by taking over a month to write this supposedly simple little one-shot. A one-shot I had already plotted out back in December. Something already planned out and relatively short should not have taken me so long to finish! Normally, it wouldn't take so long!

In truth, I had the majority of the story written out around the 15th of June, but as I went back to edit I ended up reworking whole sections. Ya know, how revisions NORMALLY work for writers (but definitely not how it works for me, who tends to edit as I write). For something that I had already kinda-sorta pre-plotted, I was surprised that the story went through three or four revisions before I was done.

Speaking of, I thought I was finally done on the 27th. Perfect! I could publish it before my long weekend, and get it locked in as my third story in as many months! Score!

I just needed to read the story one last time, start-to-finish uninterrupted, to make sure it flows the way I had intended. I wanted to read it the way one of my readers would.

It was while I was giving the story one last read - hidden in the bedroom so I wouldn't get distracted - that I passed out due to exhaustion. Hubby told me to just officially go to bed. He'd get everything prepped before he went to sleep, and that way we could speed-pack the next morning. I assumed that I could do my final read-through and publish the story while at my mom's the next day, given that she would be out of the house and I would presumably have downtime. So, I agreed.

As you saw above, there, in fact, wasn't any downtime to be found that Friday at my mom's. Nor was there any pre-party on Saturday or Sunday. I thought that I finally found some on Monday. Sure, it was July 1st at that point, but I could mentally fudge the numbers. It would be fine! Except.... nope... interrupted yet again.

I just can't find 30min of uninterrupted "me time" anymore. (Part of why this update is published so late.) And I'm not even a parent!

Generated by Bitmoji
Edited by LycoRogue

After the weekend, it was back to work. No free time there to read uninterrupted either. I was getting tempted to just say "screw it" and publish the story without that last read-through.

Finally, it was Independence Day. I was off. Sadly, Hubby still had work. On the plus side, that would mean that I would have the place to myself for a few hours! Maybe I could actually get this story sorted out!

Nope. I had energy and the desire to clean. A rare occurrence. I'm sure just about all of you understand. When you get the urge to clean you ride that wave as far as it will carry you! Screw you, writing!

In case I wasn't distracted from my editing enough, Aurora Morgen had dedicated the 4th to binge-watch Hailey's On It! so ne could read my fic and better understand my squeeing about the show. And Aurora decided to live-blog via text nir reactions to the show as ne went. A couple of hours of back-and-forth commentary sucked me in. I ended up ignoring my HOI fanfic in favor of just rewatching the final 4 episodes. I mean, I wasn't getting an uninterrupted read-through anyway. Why not?

I was determined to get this story published, though, and when Hubby decided to turn in EXCEPTIONALLY EARLY (like... 8pm early!), I ignored everything else and FINALLY sat down for 30min to just read my fic! I officially gave it the seal of approval and published it at 8:45pm on the 4th. I had hoped to have the story done earlier in the day, so that those who were off for the 4th had time to read it, but I'll take whatever victories I can. 

True, I didn't ACTUALLY publish the story in June, but it was WRITTEN in June (minus that final edit sweep). So, I'm still counting it.

I completed a new story every month of spring!

Generated by Bitmoji

Scott's List Item

Summary: When Hailey offers for them to try to cross off one of Scott's list items he knows exactly which one he wants to try. It's one that he's been itching to complete for a little while now. Hailey suspects a plot afoot, however, and her suspicions may implode the whole thing.
Fandom: Hailey's On It!
Rating: General Audience           Word Count: 4,802
Status: Completed one-shot           Est. Reading Time: 20min
• On ArchiveOfOurOwn                 • On FanFiction              
• On DeviantArt                 • On Tumblr              

As for the story itself? Well... it went about as well as I had expected considering it was published late on a holiday (that was also a weekday), over a month after the finale aired, and in a dying fandom.

24 Hour Stats

AO3: 21 hits, 2 kudos, 2 bookmarks, and 1 comment
FFN: 17 views, and nothing else
DA: 98 views, but no other engagement

Total Results: 136 hits/views, 2 kudos, 2 bookmarks, and 1 comment

Tumblr Notes: 1 like

AO3 Review:
  1. So adorable ♥

Not.... great... but, like I said, HOI is sadly a seemingly dying fandom. (Although, the number of fics DID seem to go up post-finale....) So, it's to be expected. Comparatively, I had published Sparks for the Moment around the same time back in 2019: July 5th. It was also to a relatively inactive fandom, considering the book my story was based off of - Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore - published 7 years prior. Plus, SftM has an Explicit rating, which is bound to weed out even more potential readers.

Regardless, I NEEDED to put my vision of Saf and Bitterblue getting together out into the world. Likewise, I NEEDED to dump what I thought would be a cool conclusion to the Hailey and Scott romance plotline out of my head and available for the world to see. In the end, it felt like fairly similar situations for these two stories. Except, Scott's List Item is also General Audience rated, so it SHOULD be welcoming more readers to the table.

I wish I had SftM's 24 hr stats to compare against. Is SLI on-par for the situation the story finds itself in within the fandom? Or is it underperforming?

Regardless, my other 2 stories from this year are far from underperforming. I'm pleasantly surprised at the love they're still getting.

Stats from Last Update


You Pretended Not to Care

  • AO3: 627 hits, 62 kudos, 7 bookmarks, and 4 comments
  • DA: 131 views; probably will never get any other interaction
            on the story, if I'm honest
  •  
  • Total Results: 758 views, 62 kudos, 7 bookmarks,
                            and 4 comments
  •  
  • Tumblr Notes: 6 total; 4 likes and 2 reblogs

I Think I Like You (Maybe More Than I Should)

  • AO3: 611 hits, 66 kudos, 7 bookmarks, and 8 comments
  • FFN: 178 views, 8 faves, 5 follows, and 3 reviews
  • DA: 258 views, but no other engagement
  •  
  • Total Results: 1047 views, 74 kudos/faves,
                           12 bookmarks/follows, and 11 comments/reviews
  •  
  • Tumblr Notes: 10 total; 5 likes and 2 reblogs off of my post,
                plus 2 likes and 1 reblog off Ladynoir AO3 Feed's post

Comparatively, here's my stats now, 37 days later.

Current (at time of publishing) Stats


You Pretended Not to Care

  • AO3: 1117 hits, 108 kudos, 13 bookmarks, and 6 comments
  • DA: 141 views
  •  
  • Total Results: 1258 views, 108 kudos, 13 bookmarks,
                            and 6 comments
  • Growth: 500 views, 46 kudos, 6 bookmarks, and 2 comments
  •  
  • Tumblr Notes: 11 total; 9 likes and 2 reblogs
  •  
  • New Comments:
    • My crops are watered, thank you! 😭
    • I find Killian's confusion in chapter 20 interesting.
      He is used to having feelings for Rhyse, and even with mind control, it is noticeable that he sees Rhyse on a Santa pedestal and not as a woman.
      With Edith (Suna) he experiences for the first time what it's like to be with an imperfect woman, without a pedestal, who sees him with his flaws and likes him anyway. And that's what will make your relationship powerful.

I Think I Like You (Maybe More Than I Should)

  • AO3: 884 hits, 95 kudos, 14 bookmarks, and 9 comments
  • FFN: 250 views, 10 faves, 5 follows, and 3 reviews
  • DA: 645 views, but no other engagement
  •  
  • Total Results: 1779 hits/views, 105 kudos/faves,
                           19 bookmarks/follows, and 12 comments/reviews
  • Growth: 732 hits/views, 31 kudos/faves,
                  7bookmarks/follows, and 1 new comment
  •  
  • Tumblr Notes: Same 10 total;
                5 likes and 2 reblogs off of my post,
                plus 2 likes and 1 reblog off Ladynoir AO3 Feed's post
  •  
  • New Comment:
    • Love the imagery of Adrien doing cartwheels in a business suit.

By the way, one of those bookmarks for I Think I Like You... is a recommendation with the added caption of "so accurate". Teehee. Love it!

Might as well finish up this stats-fest with my current stats for that HOI fic now that it's past that 1st week mark.

Current (at time of publishing) Stats

AO3: 118 hits, 9 kudos, 4 bookmarks, and 2 comments
FFN: 68 views and 2 faves, but still 0 follows or reviews
DA: 275 views, but no other engagement

Total Results: 461 hits/views, 11 kudos/faves, 4 bookmarks, and 2 comments
Growth: 325 hits/views, 9 kudos/faves, 2 bookmark, and 1 comment

Tumblr Notes: 3 likes

New Comment:
  1. Thank you for this! It helps the delulu :)

Granted, in all of these stats I have to kind of squint at the number of DeviantArt views and wonder how many of those are actual humans instead of bots. All of my stats feel bloated due to those DA views. Even without those, though? The stats for my first two stories still impress me. And, having the growth I did in 12 days for Scott's List Item is a bit more reassuring. Maybe the fandom is just slow to realize there's more content now. One of the downsides of a dying fandom; you never know when there's more fan content to consume. Especially if it's from a new creator.

Either way, it's nice to see my stories do numbers. Even modest ones. If you're one of my readers, thank you so much for giving my stuff a try. It must be weird (maybe refreshing?) to see me in two new fandoms this year. Heck, these past few months! I hope it's been as enjoyable for you as it has been for me, at least.

OK. I know this update has gotten pretty epic as I briefly recapped June, MASSIVELY updated you on that long weekend away, and then recapped my writing journey. However, there's one more journey to talk about: reading.

Well, to start... I've again failed with Dracula Daily.

Generated by Bitmoji

There was just this magic when it seemed like all of Tumblr was reading Dracula together back in 2022. I was incentivized to read in real time with everyone else so that I could enjoy the memes everyone was sharing and get into the discussions people were having. It just felt like a giant book club, and it was fantastic.

Since that initial 2022 spark, fewer and fewer people seem to be participating in Dracula Daily still. Less interaction means less incentive for me to participate outside of my own drive.

Of which I am LARGELY lacking right now....

Generated by Bitmoji

See above about burnout, and all that...

I had a little bit of hope this year. One of my new mutuals seemed to be doing the Dracula Daily event, and Aurora was as well.... And then Aurora fell off as other things came up and reading became a lower priority. And with Tumblr the way Tumblr is, unless I remembered to specifically go to my mutual's page, their Dracula content was quickly buried on my dashboard.

I felt like I was doing this alone, and therefore it kind of slipped down on my priority list as well. Especially since I already failed this year at staying on top of reading the entries the day they came in. The fact that I already know what happens in the May through September entries probably doesn't help keep me motivated. So what if I'm a bit delayed in reading about Jonathan's discovery of Dracula in his coffin? So what if I miss out on a few entries about Renfield collecting insects and spiders and birds? So what, if I'm not on time when I read about Mina arriving at Whitby?

Let's think positively, though! I still have time. I am officially on my nine-day vacation, and the next entry isn't until tomorrow. I can reset again. I can take some time today to race through the end of June/beginning of July entries. I'm only 5 entries behind. I've got this!

Also, now I can stream The Last Voyage of the Demeter. So, maybe I'll take the time to watch that during the Log of the Demeter days to hype myself back up about reading this novel. Maybe I could get Aurora back on board too....

While I will admit that I've slipped when it comes to my overall reading between last update and this one, I am still trying to stay on top of my webcomics, at least.

I'm currently caught up with Double the Trouble, Twice as Nice. So, much like From General to Bride, I am now stuck either waiting for more free content or for the funds to just buy the next chapters. In the meantime, I'm debating if I should switch over to a different manga to read on Comikey - such as starting a new series or getting back into The Lady Likes a Nerd over Princes or My Housemate Sano-kun Is Just My Editor! - or should I use this time to focus on my massive reading list over on Webtoon instead.

Speaking of, since I didn't have Double the Trouble to read anymore, I did opt to start up Retired Demon King (whose full title is actually When I was Retired from Being a Demon King). Refresher on the premise:

When the Demon King feels challenged by the hero to find love, he infiltrates the school for human adventurers where romance thrives the most, only to find that the school is under the holy church... which main purpose is to kill the Demon King.

Man, I understand why MostLovedGirl had suggested this story to me! This thing is so delightfully unhinged. I find myself laughing so hard that I'm crying. I'm determined to have Hubby - who has been in a Demon King Isekai kick lately - read this comic as well! It's gorgeous. It's hilarious. I'm in love with each of the main characters. They are such a delight.

First, you have the titular Demon King: Dazzael, aka Dazz. He's handsome, and surprisingly wholesome... considering he's the demon king. He is absolutely clueless about humans and human culture or even human feelings, such as love... which is the inciting incident. I'll get to that. Dazz is mortified that he doesn't know really anything about humanity, but is too proud to admit it. Instead, he puts in honest efforts into learning, but it's always misinterpreted by the other two main characters; resulting in chaos that is delightful to read. Also, Dazz is single-handedly destroying the human economy! He doesn't understand the value of gold. He just knows that he has a shit-ton of it, so it is essentially worthless to him. However, he DOES understand that it is the currency amongst humans. Which means, any time someone asks for a favor, or Dazz purchases something, or someone simply comments about needing money in passing, there's Dazz just lining the streets with gold going "This should be enough, right?"

He's not QUITE a himbo since he just... doesn't know... but he's definitely a precious, weirdly-naïve, little bean. Must protect!

Next up is the Hero of the story, the Saintess Silvia. She's still a teen, I'm guessing she's about 15 or 16 (I can't recall if her age is actually stated). Her holy powers are off the charts, which allows her to combat the Demon King and his army while keeping humanity safe. She'd adorable and a bit socially awkward since her divine powers manifested more-or-less at birth and she's been isolated most of her life in order to hone those powers. This results in fantastic misconceptions and over-reactions. Especially because she's understandably untrusting of the demons and is constantly misinterpreting what Dazz does; assuming the worst each time.

Finally, we have Dazz's right-hand-man. The first general of his army, and his trusted advisor: Levirion, aka Lev. This guy is the classic "simp". He is willing to do anything or be anyone that Dazz wants, regardless of his own comfort level. All because his king wishes it (and maybe Lev will get more brownie points and attaboys). He is the one that Silvia should really worry about, because he's the one always plotting and planning ways to finish off the demons' human opposition. The reason he never succeeds in his plots is because Dazz ends up reining him in. Much like Silvia, Lev frequently misinterprets Dazz's actions as being for nefarious reasons. The difference here is that Lev clearly encourages this perceived evil. For someone presumably capable - to be Dazz's confidant like this - with a great desire to destroy humanity to be so comically harmless is fantastic.

Honorable mention to Dazz's second general and Lev's greatest rival: Gale, the Raging Tempest. This man is just pure chaos. Dazz left him in charge of the army while he (Dazz) and Lev were away, but instead of feeling honored by this responsibility, Gale is jealous that Lev is on a "secret mission" with the king. But also... Dazz's servants won't let Gale sit on the throne even though he's effectively acting king for the time being, so that takes some wind out of his sails. Gale tries to help out his king, but, since he's clueless as to what Dazz is trying to accomplish, Gale tends to make things more difficult for Dazz. Also, watching Gale and Lev have that classic Anime Trope style rivalry is fantastic. For instance, Lev doesn't care that he has more responsibilities and is clearly more honored and trusted by Dazz. Lev only cares that the humans have more information about Gale to strategize against, and Lev isn't even mentioned once.

OK, set-up now complete, I HAVE to talk about the inciting incident of this gloriously bizarre story! Yes, I already gave you the premise, but it is so much more unhinged than presented. First of all, Dazz is about to wipe out a joint army between the races opposing the demons (i.e. humans, elves, cat-people, etc). Silvia manages to swoop in and, with her divine powers, break though both Dazz's magical shield and his chest armor, nearly piercing him. He's dumbfounded that a mere human could possess that much power and earnestly asks her what makes her so strong. The teen was caught off guard, panicked, and blurted out, "It's something you're incapable of understanding, demon!... It's... LOVE!" (Yes, she realizes after saying it how cringe and cliché that response was, and she hates herself a little for it...)

Dazz takes her at her word and panics. He had no clue love could be powerful enough to create a spell capable of destroying his "specially forged bloody manticore spine dark matter armor". These panels are just a crumb of the comedic skill this author - Cheezemate - has mastered.

Man, just seeing Dazz sweat like that is so funny to me. He's supposed to be this intimidating demon king, and Silvia is able to disarm him with a few cliché words. Fantastic! I love it!

I can't forget the panels that MLG sent to me to get me into RDK in the first place:

Anyway, in an attempt to save face, Dazzael tells Silvia that of COURSE he knows ALL about love! And he's TOTALLY capable of it! If it's something a measly human can master then it's clearly no match for him, the demon king! ... He then instantly retreats from the battlefield to go sit in the corner of his castle to brood.

Eventually, he decides that he has no choice but to infiltrate Human lands in order to covertly learn about Love so that he could then wield this superb power and finally defeat The Hero (Silvia). Since no one else was there for the confrontation between Silvia and Dazz, no one else knows about Silvia's claim that Dazz could never learn about love, or how important it is for Dazz to prove otherwise. Of course, Dazz is too embarrassed about this supposed gap in his tactical knowledge, so he won't say anything to anyone. He just ups and leaves for the Human lands, with Lev faithfully in tow without a clue as to what they're planning on doing. All he knows is "where my king goes; I go." The simp.

They end up in a Human town, and Dazz observes a man attempting to flirt with a woman. Assuming this is what Silvia meant by "love", Dazz decides to use the same tactic on the first woman he sees.

The first woman he sees just so happens to be Silvia in her Saintess garb. Since Dazz didn't recognize her outside of her armor, he still tries his hand at flirting. Once she turns around, though, and Dazz finally DOES recognize her? Well, we're gifted with this gorgeous panel.

I adore how the author doesn't treat her main characters too preciously. She doesn't fear making them look goofy or ugly, and it makes the best comedic impact.

I won't spoil this part by stating how they manage it, but Dazz and Lev end up enrolling into the academy despite Silvia instantly recognizing them in their human forms. Added bonus? Due to her familiarity with Dazz, a lot of the campus believes the two of them are dating. You can imagine the chaos that erupts from that little misunderstanding.

The whole story thus far is a fantastic comedy of errors. You can see Dazz becoming more affectionate towards humans as he learns to appreciate them. Where Lev grows more disdainful with every new thing he learns about humans, Dazz finds them increasingly intriguing. For her part, Silvia is begrudgingly starting to trust Dazz a hair. She is also very clearly attracted to Dazz's human form and is dealing with S-Class denial about it. 

Oh, yeah! There's also a small body-swap arc only 9 episodes in. This author really goes hard, and it is fantastic. This is a high recommend. Definitely in my top reads along with Not Your Typical Reincarnation Story, I Will Live the Life of a Villainess, The Dragon King's Bride, Punderworld, and Rental Hero.

Sooooo, yeah! I may not be reading Dracula, and I may be slipping a bit about reading nightly, but I AM still reading a decent amount. I'll take it. As I said before, you have to take the wins where you can get them. Especially when you're as burnt out as I am. Man, I truly needed this vacation. Happy early birthday to me!

Generated by Bitmoji

Monday, June 10, 2024

Burnout Turning Me Feral (Oh, and I Wrote Stuff!)

Est. Read Time: 32 min
This Month's Font: Merienda

It's that time of year again, folks! The weather is getting nicer. The sun is out longer. I can open the windows and spend hours just out on the porch enjoying the breeze and the sun and the warmth.

Generated by Bitmoji

And Jonathan Harker again starts his doomed journey to Transylvania.

That's right, folks! Tis Dracula Daily season!

Generated by Bitmoji

...

Although... Not even two weeks in, and I had already fallen off the wagon this year.

*sigh*

Peeps, I am so burnt out! Hence my May blog update happening mid-June... nearly two weeks late! AGAIN! (I've been trying to simply edit this post for 4 days straight now.... TT^TT)

Generated by Bitmoji

Work is equal parts painfully slow and annoyingly frustrating due to the added projects I'm given to fill the down time. I mean, sure, the projects themselves are tedious (and might be making me mildly cross-eyed), but they are also sometimes fun. I don't inherently dislike those projects plopped onto my desk (although, it does cut into my "writing while at work" time which adds to this update being late). The PEOPLE, on the other hand, that I have to work with in order to complete the projects?

I'm slowly going feral.... (Kind of equal parts appropriate for this to coincide with Dracula Daily and ironic that I stopped reading Dracula due to said feral-ness....)

Add in that, for almost TWO WEEKS, I had to deal with a mysterious, spontaneous, piercing beeping at work! We could not track down where the beep was coming from because it both sounded like it was coming from everywhere, but also that it was definitely NOT coming from whichever new location within the office that we were currently standing in.

We also couldn't predict when the beep would go off in order to strategically work our way around the office to try to track it down. Sometimes it would be every five minutes. Other times it would be nearly an hour before the next beep. For three days I literally wrote down the time the beep went off in hopes of finding some sort of pattern! Nothing! All we learned was that we were hearing the beep at least thirty times per day.

It was a single, second-long beep that was distractingly piercing (actually hurting my ears on occasion) and it was MADDENING that we couldn't figure out where it was coming from or how to shut it up! I was about ready to start gnawing on cables if it would make it stop.

Stock image from Shutterstock

Thankfully (??) we DID finally figure out where the beeping was coming from this past Tuesday, and it has since stopped! Seems a colleague that only works in our store once a week hid a device that makes that erratic beeping as a PRANK! It was tucked away in such a small place that we didn't think to look there. Besides, what could possibly be beeping from the wooden countertop our register sits on??? (yes, we checked the register itself and confirmed it wasn't that) They even feigned ignorance after the first week: "Wow! That does sound annoying. How are you guys dealing with listening to that all day?" / "Oh, [LycoRogue] is about to claw at the walls."

AND YET THEY LEFT THE SOUND MAKER FOR ANOTHER WEEK BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY!!!!!!

Feral Stick Figure Violence meme

If that's not annoying enough, the radio station we usually play at work no longer comes in on the receiver we have. So, in our search for a replacement option, we could only find one work-appropriate station that came in clear. And, lucky me, it's in a musical genre that I'm not particularly fond of.... It also seems to only keep about 20 songs in rotation, so I get to hear the same songs (with a few "new" ones sprinkled in here and there) roughly 7x each throughout my 8hr shift... rinse and repeat the next day... and the next... and the next....

Generated by Bitmoji

People are also taking their vacations now that it's nicer out, so I'm working longer stretches in this AMAZING environment between days off. When I do have a day off, I'm either taking advantage of the weather by spending most of the time just on my porch (since we rent I have no outdoor house work to worry about/do), or I'm trapping myself inside but using the newfound non-winter energy to try to catch up on house work.

OOOOR... those people on vacation were also my friends, and my non-work hours had to be scheduled to include time for me to go pet-sit. I think I pet-sat for nearly every friend/family member in the area last month! But, ya know, at least I got to hang out with some animals throughout May, right? And not ALL of them spent the whole time plotting my demise....

Generated by Bitmoji

I've also been getting the itch to house-search again. Especially after my sister got a house, the house next to me went up for sale, and younger friends of mine also started looking for their first home. Trick is, every attempt I make to advance the process has been like pulling teeth. I can't just call up or visit my bank and talk to someone - like my friends did - because they don't have someone there all the time. Instead, I had to wait for the consultant to reach out to me, and she would only do so after I filled out finance forms.... which are only available via the bank's app.... and my phone - while still perfectly functional otherwise - is "too old" and "not compatible" with the app.... Thankfully, I have a relatively new tablet that I could download the app to instead. If I didn't have that alternative, though? I'd be SOL. My road ends there until I buy a new mobile device. Time to join the 2020s, Grandma.

I was able to download the app though, so we'll put a pin in that. I go to fill out the form, and the info they needed was more than just "What's your annual income?" which was what I was expecting. Ya know, given that I'm simply trying to talk to someone to get a gauge of what our budget should reasonably be and how much of a down payment I should be aiming to save up for.

Nope. Instead, it wanted to know the cost of the house we were looking at - we didn't have one because we don't know what to budget??? - how much we were going to put down for a down payment - again... I don't know... that's what I wanted to talk to the banker about???? - and the mortgage length we were looking for - again... WE. DON'T. KNOW!

I was also advised to try Credit Karma or Rocket Mortgage. CK simply told me that our finances meant there were no available offers.... That's reassuring.... And I've been getting daily calls from Rocket Mortgage for nearly a week, despite me specifically selecting TALK ONLINE for my option. The consultant keeps calling while I'm at work and can't answer. WHICH IS WHY I SAID TO TALK ONLINE AND *NOT* CALL!!!

Thankfully, my out-of-state cousin works in banking, so he was able to give me some broad-stroke answers instead. Hubby and I now have a plan of attack, which is all that we wanted! But... like... OUR FRIENDS WERE ABLE TO JUST CALL THEIR BANK AND GOT PRE-APPROVED FOR A MORTGAGE RIGHT THEN AND THERE! Why was this so much more complicated for me when all I wanted was answers and a savings plan!?!

Don't even get me started on that whole "your phone is too old and we're forcing it to become obsolete" thing! That BS has affected at least 5 different apps that Hubby and/or I have needed/wanted to use in the past couple of years. Some apps are just games like Pokemon Go. Others are self-care apps like Plant Nanny, which I had used to track my hydration levels. But Hubby and I are also supposed to access our PAYCHECKS via apps! Apps that our phones "aren't compatible with"... Luckily, we can both use our work computers to also look up our paycheck, BUT STILL!!!!! WHAT THE HECK!!!!!????!

Generated by Bitmoji

I bought tickets for a Broadway musical to celebrate my 40th birthday. I don't get physical copies of the tickets. I don't even get an email like I did with my Ticketmaster tickets to a concert two years ago. Nope. The show is having me download an app for the tickets.... an app I'm sure my phone won't be compatible for.... So I may be strong-armed into buying a new phone after all just so I can get the tickets to see the show!

Generated by Bitmoji

All of that financial stability that I've been grateful for the past couple of years? Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhhh.... the funds, they are depleting. And quickly. Every time I turn around I have to spend money on this, that, and the other thing. So, good luck creating a large enough savings to provide a house down payment, pay for an inspection, and cover closing costs....

Maybe Hubby and I can actually own a home by the time I celebrate my 50th.....

Generated by Bitmoji

All of THAT said, I guess it's a bit understandable that I'm both burnt out and not prioritizing Dracula Daily this year. Such a shame, I keep wanting to do it properly from start to finish! That's it. I'm adding "don't fall behind during Dracula Daily" to my bucket list!

I was hoping to be able to force a mental reset once we got to June. At least, with regards to Dracula Daily (hasn't happened yet, but AAAAAAANY day now....). That way it would only be two weeks that I've stumbled with this goal. Although... I've got a LOT going on at the end of June for my sister's wedding, so who the heck knows if I'll miss a couple of days then and fall off the wagon AGAIN?

No! I'm determined! I'll get back on the horse and stay on until the finish line in November!

Generated by Bitmoji

I'll keep you updated on how I'm doing for the rest of the novel run-time. Don't forget that you can also poke me in the comments section here to make sure I'm staying on track!

On the plus side - yes, this update isn't ALL doom and gloom - I HAVE hit my reading goal for May, even if it wasn't via Dracula. Seems I've been going hard with those digital comics again.

I am still chugging along with Double the Trouble, Twice as Nice over on Comikey. I read my daily chapter and then watch an ad to read a second one per day. So, that alone is nearly the 15min per day I'm aiming for.

Then it's over to Webtoon for... well... a bunch!

Float concluded for free-readers the first week of May, so there goes my Sunday night reading. Prior to that, though? You guys know how much I enjoyed that story. It even got me back into reading novels, even if briefly. The artwork was lovely, and I'm going to miss those plucky characters. Thank you, yet again, Float webtoon, for introducing me to the book.

I also finished reading Leveling Up My Husband to the Max. Such a good story. The ending was... interesting. Not disappointing, but also.... not expected???? A touch Deus ex Machina, but I didn't hate it??? It kinda-sorta felt earned? Either way, it was a fun read, and I'll miss it as well.

As for the rest of the on-going comics that I'm reading...

Not Your Typical Reincarnation Story updates on Mondays. As does My Husband Changes Every Night. So, I'm set on my Monday reading between those two and Double the Trouble.

Tuesdays, I have three comics to read along with Double the Trouble. I usually start off with Rental Hero to knock out the action comic. Then I'll read I Will Live the Life of a Villainess since the romance is more subtle in that one (although, it has been picking up lately). I'll finish with The Dragon King's Bride, which is the most romance-focused out of the three. So, basically, I'm spoiled for choice on my evenings off (post-9pm). And that doesn't even include yet ANOTHER comic that I've followed but haven't started yet: Office Romance From Hell.

The premise of that last one?

Dumped by her boyfriend and fired from her job, Jineon, her family's breadwinner, has no time to cry over the spilled milk. She must find another job and fast. Enter The Hell, a mysterious company with great pay, excellent work-life balance, and an easy commute! What more could she ask for? Or so she thought. Little did she know, she had walked into hell—literally. How will she navigate the harrowing journey in the hellscape of her new job with King Yeomra, her stunning new boss, further complicating everything? Could love blossom in this pit of hell?

I dunno. I'm just curious as to what the hecken is going on. But that's for Future Me to sort out. I already have enough on my Tuesday evening plate....

That said.... last month I was talking with MostLovedGirl (more on that later). As we were chatting about isekais and Webtoon reading lists, she suggested YET ANOTHER romcom to me: Retired Demon King. It's currently on hiatus, so now's the perfect time to catch up. But, as I mentioned, I'm overbooked with stories on Tuesdays, so I just haven't started it up yet. MLG adores it and finds it hilarious, though, so it is higher priority on my "To Read" list. Also, the premise DOES seem fun. I'm excited to get around to sitting down with it.

When the Demon King feels challenged by the hero to find love, he infiltrates the school for human adventurers where romance thrives the most, only to find that the school is under the holy church... which main purpose is to kill the Demon King.

Getting back to the stories I DO read, though, my Wednesday reading list only has Mythic Item Obtained. However, I still haven't gotten back into that one. I SHOULD though, since it's one of my lightest reading days. Or, maybe I don't read Office Romance From Hell the day it updates and save it for Wednesdays instead??? Or use Wednesdays for Retired Demon King? Or both? All three?

Thursdays I have nothing on Webtoon yet... but now that I KNOW that... looks like it's time to find ANOTHER villainess isekai and/or Generic Romance story that uploads on Thursdays!

Generated by Bitmoji
Cropped by LycoRogue

Or I could use Thursdays for that "To Read" list that's piling up....

Friday nights is only The Fateful Invitation. Another light day for reading. Another contender for catching up on those surplus stories like Demon King.

Saturday I have two new reads: The Duke's Teddy Bear, and I've finally started up Lore Olympus. Actually, I've waited so long to start up Lore Olympus that it concluded before the end of May! So, now I can just sort of plow through it. That said, there's nearly 300 episodes to go through! So, I'm sure I'll be reading that for a while. I can also now just read it whenever? So... daily, if I wish.

For a refresher on the series, here's the summary of Lore Olympus via Webtoon:

Witness what the gods do…after dark. The friendships and the lies, the gossip and the wild parties, and of course, forbidden love. Because it turns out, the gods aren’t so different from us after all, especially when it comes to their problems. Stylish and immersive, this is one of mythology’s greatest stories -- The Taking of Persephone -- as it’s never been told before.

It was a slow start for me. The modernization is neat, but, twenty episodes in, I felt like not much had really happened. Especially compared to the 20-some episodes of Punderworld that are live. I also didn't find myself itching to go back and read more at first. I mean, I found the Eros-and-Psyche b-plot more engaging than what was going on with Persephone.

That is... until I got to THAT episode (IYKYK). There was a hard-hitting episode, and THAT brought me in. I needed to see how the trauma was going to be handled and resolved. On top of that, I was developing a lot of eye fatigue while doing my data-entry project at work. When the fatigue got too much, I would take breaks by bringing up Webtoon on my phone and reading through a couple of episodes of Lore Olympus (along with walking around and stretching a bit) since Lore Olympus had more content that I could just tear through. I was able to semi-binge about 40 more episodes over the weekend that way!

In other words, I'm starting to get the hype. Hermes is a glorious himbo king. Eros had a problematic intro, but has since become a fabulous sass king that I adore. As for Hades and Persephone? There must be something in the myths that I missed when I read them as a kid. I just find it amusing that both Rachel Smythe, the creator of Lore Olympus, and Linda Sejic, the creator of Punderworld, came to the same conclusions. Hades is a lovesick precious bean; a socially awkward man beyond smitten the second he first sees Persephone. A complete nerd. Then, you have the poor naive and sheltered cinnamon roll that is Persephone. Granted, the Lore Olympus version is vastly more unsure, naive, and trying to figure herself out. Punderworld's version of Persephone is more self-assured of who she is, or, at least, who she wants to be. Both are still fiercely powerful women who can hold their own when pushed hard enough.

Completely contrasting their agreed views of Hades and Persephone, Smythe and Sejic went completely polar opposite with their depictions of Apollo. Lore Olympus went with the pinnacle of toxic masculinity and manipulation. He's almost exclusively referred to as "Asspollo" in the comments. Over on Punderworld, on the other hand? HE is the glorious himbo king. He basically plays the "guy best friend" role for Persephone that Eros/Hermes tag-team in Lore Olympus.

On top of the characterizations though, I do find the art style of Lore Olympus unique. Just... not as breathtakingly gorgeous as everyone else seemed to believe. That was one of the reasons (besides it being a Hades/Persephone story) that it pinged my radar: because everyone raved about the art style. At least, for the first season. It is stunning. That's the point. Smythe commented on how she purposefully created dramatic angles first and then worried about anatomy later. It shows, but it's also... a bit... MUCH for my tastes. I get why others found it breathtaking though. It's just not for me. Especially with the dramatic coloring that sometimes makes it hard to catch what is going on in the scene. And the fact that the character models seem to shift depending on what Smythe needs for her dramatic poses. Hades' nose becomes longer and more pointed in some scenes and short and rounded and more human-like in others. Persephone's face goes from round with baby-cheeks to more slender - as does her whole body - depending on the dramatic pose she needs to be in. The way hair is drawn shifts. Everything shifts. It's hard to tell which god is which on silhouette alone sometimes. You have to rely on coloration. But even that can be deceiving since Smythe makes sure to also have hereditary coloring. Such as Artemis and Apollo - since they're twins - being the same shade of purple... but also having that shade perfectly match their father Zeus. It's a neat way to show family ties, but also... Aphrodite is ALSO purple... but a slightly lighter shade???? And Apollo and Eros have similar silhouettes, but Eros is more of a dulled magenta compared to Apollo's purple... but based on the lighting Apollo could look like a lighter shade of purple and Eros could look like a darker shade....

On the flip side, I just find Linda Sejic's retelling of the myth of Persephone's kidnapping a lot more compelling. You have the mystery of the unknown deaths and Persephone commenting on how the earth doesn't feel "right" anymore. Which leads into Persephone's "kidnapping" and Hades trying to escort her out of the underworld. But then it cuts back to that "something with the dead just doesn't feel right" B-plot to keep the action moving and the mystery top-of-mind. Also, while the actual interactions between Hades and Persephone are adorable in Lore Olympus, there's just something... MORE with the Punderworld version for me. I don't know if it's because Punderworld is more comedic whereas Lore Olympus is more dramatic, and that's why I like Punderworld more? But the plot just feels like it is fuller and moves faster for Punderworld. More seems to have happened in Sejic's nearly-30 episodes than Smythe told in the 70 that I've read so far.

Beyond the plot, there is NO problem with recognizing a character off silhouette alone with Punderworld. While I praise Smythe for having The Big Three - Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades - look similar due to being siblings, I feel it just added to my "they have same-face" issue. Sejic, on the other hand, recognized that, while the gods may be considered siblings in the myths, they are also essentially shape-shifters who decide what their physical form will look like. So everyone looks distinct. Their outfits also signal who the character is. For instance, Hera's outfit is designed to look like a peacock, her favored animal. Demeter's dress resembles a watermelon. Zeus has a single-shoulder toga, which stresses his sexual nature by him showing off more skin than the other characters, and its blues and yellows encapsulate the essence of a lightning-filled sky. Hades' look is dominated by blacks and grays, and is much more somber/formal looking. Persephone wears a youthful, flowy, petal-like, knee-length sundress in spring-time greens.

Hades is pale and lanky with long, bone-straight hair. Persephone is petite, a little curvy, and has wavy hair that falls mid-back. Zeus has shoulder-length wavy hair and goatee. He's also muscular and tan. Demeter is also a bit curvier than, say, Artemis or Hera. Her long hair is kept in a braided bun. Artemis has that classic 90s Popular Girl look with luscious long hair typically kept in a high ponytail. She also has the classic "cheerleader" body: lean, muscular, but barely any hips, butt, or chest to speak of. Charon is a muscular black woman with short hair who crossdresses as a man for the spirits. Thanatos is also black-coded (being Charon's brother) even though his complexion is more gray-tones, and he has wings and keeps his medium-length hair in braids.

If those aren't enough distinguishing features, each god also has their own "crown" that reacts to their emotions. Hades has a bone-spike crown that grows and becomes more intimidating when he's mad, or shrinks and dulls if he's more sheepish or playful. Zeus has a crown of lightning that shifts as he gets cheeky ideas or wants to be aggressive. Demeter grows barley when she's pleased or fiery-red chili peppers if she's angered. Persephone grows thorns when threatened or angry, flowers when happy, pollenating blossoms when aroused or romantically flustered, and the plants wither when she draws into herself. (I will say, I like that Lore Olympus's Persephone also manifests a flower crown when happy and her hair grows uncontrollably when she's stressed. Similar vibes again). I dunno, I just prefer Sejic's character designs.

All-in-all, I am enjoying Lore Olympus. I mean, I'm 70 episodes in and itching to get back into it now that the drama is finally building. I just... I still feel like Punderworld is better, but it only gets a fraction-of-a-fraction of the love Lore Olympus has received. Tis a shame. Truly.

(And, yes, I do understand the irony of me preferring Punderworld, which gets less love, and thinking that it's simply an underrated gem... meanwhile, I will see the hit/view count on my fanfics vs popular fics and I'll wonder if it's because I'm just not as good of a writer as I think/was informed. The double standard I put on myself is not lost on me....)

As for The Duke's Teddy Bear? Well.... it's about as unhinged as My Husband Changes Every Night was when I first started reading it. Here's the Webtoon summary:

What if your soul could leave your body and possess people -- or even animals? Thanks to an incident in the past, that’s what happens to Marshall Lidiance every time she passes out or falls asleep. No one knows her little secret, but things become problematic for Marshall when she gets absorbed into a teddy bear owned by the icy-cold Duke Ludvillian! Will Marshall be able to figure out what caused the soul absorption while still keeping it a secret from everyone?

Hooboy! These names! I'm assuming the female lead's name is pronounced "mahr-SHALL" as opposed to "MAHR-shuhl" like I originally thought. But also.... Duke LudVILLIAN? Really? So close to "villain"? I looked up the surname to see if I was mocking someone's actual family name. Now, it could just be because search engines are now trash (because the internet as a whole uses S.E.O.), but searching for the surname Ludvillian only brought up links to or about The Duke's Teddy Bear. So.... I'm assuming it was made up for the story????

Also... the female lead Marshall just.... possesses the Duke's teddy bear against her will.... She goes to sleep and wakes up in the bear's body. She can move and talk, but she also kind of has to pull a Toy Story and try to avoid others discovering that this teddy bear is possessed. Especially when the duke himself tried to exorcise her from the teddy after she attempted talking to him. When the exorcism didn't work, he dropped her out of a fourth-story window to try to rid himself of the "cursed" plushie. Luckily, being a teddy bear at the time, she wasn't hurt.

There's now these weird romance shenanigans going on around Marshall. She is an introvert. She's also the second - and illegitimate - daughter of a noble. She doesn't see herself having any value in being married off, and her little introverted self isn't really interested in interacting with anyone in order to start up a romantic relationship. Meanwhile, while at a festival in the nation's capital to celebrate a long-standing war finally ending (which is when she possesses the duke's teddy), there are already three different gentlemen flirting with our fair lead.

She is not having it and tries to pawn the men off on her older half-sister instead. In turn, said sister is tickled that Marshall potentially has marriage prospects, so she keeps trying to convince Marshall to give the poor guys the time of day.

Instead of dealing with all of that, Marshall goes to bed, only to wake up as the teddy bear again. She then gets to witness the relationship drama the poor Duke is caught up in as he's forced to play nice with someone he was at war with for YEARS while their nations celebrate their peace treaty.

As I said, it's kind of an unhinged story, but I AM intrigued to see how the story will play out.

It's kind of the same reason why I still read The Fateful Invitation: to see more of Emperor Ebenezer's attempts to woo protagonist Hillaria. I'm still not a fan of Hillaria herself, but seeing her getting flustered by Ebenezer is fantastic! For those who know the anime/manga Death Note, Ebenezer is L to Hillaria's Light.... but with romance instead of a mass homicide case.... Anyway, the art style for Invitation is also GORGEOUS. Especially the details in Hillaria's dresses and fingernails! Another reason to read more.

Going back to The Duke's Teddy Bear, though. It is one of two stories that I'm reading that actually uses Daily Passes. These work like the keys on Comikey. I can use a free pass daily to read an episode that stays unlocked for 14 days. So, even though it updates Saturdays, since I'm a decent number of episodes behind, I CAN opt to read a new episode daily via the pass. The pass prevents me from binging the story in one sitting (without spending money, at least), but it does kind of incentivize me to read the story daily in order to catch up. So, I can fill those lower-volume days, such as Thursday or Sunday, with more of The Duke's Teddy Bear until I've caught up. One way to make sure I still get my 15min/day in.

The last fic on my list that updates on Saturdays is Obsidian Bride. I don't know why, but this is another story that I keep holding off on starting. Maybe it's the number of stories I have for Saturday already (or in general... it IS a lot to juggle)? I'll have to see if mentally shifting my To Read date to, say, Sundays instead of Saturdays will help me finally snuggle in to read it.

Finally, unrelated to all of the weekly updates, I have another completed story that I've started reading: Answer Me, My Prince. Much like Leveling My Husband Up to the Max, the story was completed before I even found it. Unlike Leveling, I can't just binge the story despite its completion. This is the second story I'm reading that uses Daily Pass to pay the creator. So, again, I can only read one new episode daily without paying the app. Before I get further into it though, how about a refresher of the premise:

Cordelia Grey, an editor at a publishing company, is given a manuscript of the sequel to The Princess and the Knight along with a vintage chest. But when she wakes up the next morning, the manuscript she placed in the chest is gone -- a letter is in its place. It’s from none other than Prince Archie Albert, the handsome playboy and protagonist from the novel. What begins as curiosity morphs into a deep friendship, but can they stop themselves from developing feelings for one another, and will they ever get to meet in person?

The correspondence between Cordelia and Archie is absolutely adorable. They are both so playful but also vulnerable. They quickly fall into a pattern of giving both themselves and each other nicknames as they come up with fun ways to open and close their letters.

It feels a little like You've Got Mail with how the leads communicate in their letters. It also feels a little like The Lake House with regards to the magic behind how Cordelia and Archie can become pen-pals in the first place. Actually, the mystery of how the letters teleport to each recipient, as well as the time differential between Cordelia and Archie, has had me thinking so much about The Lake House recently that I kind of want to have a rewatch of the movie. I mean, Hubby, Aurora Morgen, and I have wanted to do a Keanu Reeves marathon anyway. Might as well add this one to the Watch List, right?

The main mystery of Answer Me is, of course, that of the book chest and how it "delivers" the letters to each of the leads (along with other things; the two frequently send books back and forth to each other like the nerds they are). The other main mystery though? What happened between the events of the in-universe book The Princess and the Knight and the sequel manuscript that Cordelia is supposed to be editing.

The main plot of The Princess and the Knight tells the tale of a heartbroken princess and her knight, who had fallen in love with her. The princess was given advice to have the knight do something hard but trivial to prove that he truly loved her. She tasked him to simply stand outside her window for 100 days (presumably the man could eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom, but otherwise spend his waking hours doing nothing but standing outside her window... but also, it was a fairytale, so... maybe not???). On the 100th day, when the princess would finally accept the knight's declaration of love, he gave up on his task and wordlessly walked into the sunset, never to be seen again. The distraught princess, realizing her love for the knight, chases after him, and the story ends. A sort of The Lady, or the Tiger? style of ending, as Cordelia tells it. Why did the knight give up just before completing his task? Does the princess find the knight and live happily ever after? Does she never find him? Does he reject her outright (hence him giving up on her challenge)? Does she return home and marry another? The reader never knows.... at least, until the sequel that Cordelia is editing.

In the sequel, it is revealed that the princess's fate is also unknown to her father, and he instead appoints his niece as his successor. It is the niece's son - Prince Archie - who eventually discovers that the princess did indeed find the knight, and that they lived together in secret within a small cottage in the woods. There, they had a son; the true heir to the throne. In the manuscript, Archie discovers the princess's and knight's gravestones, but their son is nowhere to be found. Archie's older sister, who is the crown princess and the villainess of the story, stops at nothing to hunt down this threat to her inheriting the crown.

When Cordelia discovers that the prince is real, she helps him in his attempts to placate his sister, find the lost prince, and negotiate a peaceful solution that also solidifies his sister's claim to the throne.

We, the reader, know that the runaway princess and her child are both redheads. We also know, via Archie's correction of events - for instance, his mother was the runaway princess's best friend, not cousin - that the manuscript isn't a perfect one-to-one of the facts of Archie's life and world. Add in that Cordelia's also a redhead, as is her mother - who also implied that she (the mother) was reverse-isekai'd - and a LOT of readers are speculating that the "lost prince" is actually a lost princess... and that said princess is Cordelia.

The story isn't terribly action-packed or overtly romantic, but it IS intriguing. So I'm enjoying myself with my daily reads as I make my way through the story.

Generated by Bitmoji

The various webcomics aren't even everything that I read in May! There's also fanfiction.

Yeah! I got back into reading fanfiction. Sorta...

Earlier I had mentioned chatting with MLG. Well, that's because she came out of her own writing hiatus in order to participate in MariChat May. Basically, a month dedicated to the Marinette and Chat Noir corner of the Love Square. She wrote exclusively ficlets that ranged from 500 to 1700 words. Still, the fact that she wrote FIVE new pieces of fiction in quick succession after a writing hiatus is impressive. Doing so within the same week!?! Incredibly inspiring.

If you want to check out MLG's MariChat May fics:

  • Bread and Honey
    After the death of his cousin and his cousin’s wife, Adrien finds himself the father of two small children. Not wanting to force sudden parenthood on his girlfriend, Adrien breaks up with Marinette and moves to London for the twins. Marinette, stubborn to the last, won't let Adrien give up on their relationship that easily. When she can't convince Adrien that she'll stick with him through thick and thin, Marinette forces her way into Adrien's life in the way he needs most at the moment—as the twins' nanny. Not that she's making life easy for him. Whatever happened to the sweet girl he'd known in their teen years?
    TL;DR Marinette is temptation, and Adrien is losing his sanity.

    *LycoRogue's Note: This is a flash fic less than 500 words long
  • Midnight Snack
    Chat Noir finds his good friend Marinette crying on her balcony. She’s sorry, but she’s so hungry.

    *LycoRogue's Note: A bit of a supernatural twist to the superhero canon.
  • Dendro Problems
    They're like champagne problems, but Alhaitham flavored.

    *LycoRogue's Note: References a Genshin Impact character
  • Ice Cream (and Revenge) Are Best Served Cold
    Chat Noir drops by Marinette’s place for ice cream and cuddles after a rough evening. Marinette does not take it well.

    *LycoRogue's Note: Spy x Family inspired
  • Ha! You Think That’s Embarrassing?
    Marinette is on a bad date. Adrien notices and sends his very good friend Chat Noir to the rescue.

    *LycoRogue's Note: What if Adrien and Marinette didn't meet as their civilian selves until they were adults?

That last one, in particular, really struck a chord with me for some reason. I don't know if it's because it was the longest out of the five. Or if it was because it was closest to canon while also.... not? Adult Adrien and Marinette were reverted back to their awkward season 1 personalities, which was fun since I do miss those characterizations a bit. There was also more playfulness in that last story compared to the previous four. Finally, while the story was told from Marinette's perspective, it very much felt like Adrien's story.

I couldn't help myself. I gushed in the comments section about how I saw Adrien's side of the story. MLG responded in kind. And I was done for. I knew I couldn't let it go unless I went ahead and wrote out this story.

My dudes.... I NEARLY QUINTUPLED MLG'S STORY!!!! How do these stories keep running away from me like this!?

I just had too much fun messing with poor Adrien. I finished writing my companion piece five days after MLG had published her story (I think it was only two days of writing, though...). It... then kept me another four days to figure out what to title the darn thing....

Generated by Bitmoji
Cropped by LycoRogue

Much like with You Pretended Not to Care, I was probably way overthinking my story title options. In the end, I decided to just title the story off of the song I was listening to on repeat while I was writing it: I Think I Like You by The Band CAMINO.

I Think I Like You (Maybe More Than I Should)

Summary: Adrien is intrigued by one of the junior designers at his father's company. Maybe more intrigued than a few passing interactions with Marinette would warrant. At least, that's what Plagg jokes when Adrien notices Marinette on an abysmal date and decides to intervene... as Chat Noir.
  • Rating: General Audience
  • Word Count: 7,974
  • Est. Reading Time: 40min
  • Status: Completed one-shot
• On ArchiveOfOurOwn               • On FanFiction
• On DeviantArt               • On Tumblr

This story got so much love, and it is still rolling in. Thank you, to all of my readers. I'm glad my thieving of MLG's story was so well received. My building off of her hard work tends to net me a lot of love, if I'm honest.

Generated by Bitmoji
Edited by LycoRogue

24 Hour Stats

AO3: 267 hits, 31 kudos, 3 bookmarks, and 4 comments
FFN: 88 views, 3 faves, 4 follows, but no reviews
DA: 72 views, but no other engagement

Total Results: 427 views, 34 kudos/faves, 7 bookmarks/follows, and 4 reviews

Tumblr Notes: 8 total; 3 likes off my post, another 2 likes off Ladynoir AO3 Feed's post, 2 reblogs off my post, and another reblog off LN AO3's post

AO3 Comments:
  1. AAAAA so so so so cute ♡ I kinda want more of this kind of AUs
  2. *MLG's Review: See Below*
  3. Oooh, I love that this story is from Adrien’s perspective, usually I see this kind of thing from Marinette’s. Adrien’s so smitten with Marinette and neither of them seem to realize it - at first, anyway XD
  4. They are so adorable. I think Adrien thinking Marinette’s awkwardness as cute is one of my favorite things. 💚💚💚

MLG had so many emojis in her comment! I loved the love! I truly did. I'm glad she enjoyed my take on her story.

MostLovedGirl: So many moments had me grinning and laughing. 😂 Loved it! These two are such dorks and are so gone for each other. I especially appreciated the emphasis Adrien gave to wanting to get to know Marinette better instead of the cliche “love at first sight” trope. Much healthier (despite all the low-key stalking 🤣). Poor boi is so infatuated and so screwed. 😂 At least Marinette is equally awkward and out of her depth. They are well matched. Marinette is going to be *pissed* as Ladybug (due to embarrassment) when the identity reveal happens. “I was in love with *you* all this time?!” “Wait. You love me?” And then they get married a year later. The end. 😆

Due to the aforementioned burnout and delay in publishing this update - despite working on it daily since May 30th - I completely blanked on taking my Week 1 stats. Which means we get to just jump ahead to the current stats of the story. I'm surprised at how much it grew in the 20-some days it's been live.

Current (at time of publishing) Stats

AO3: 611 hits, 66 kudos, 7 bookmarks, and 8 comments
FFN: 178 views, 8 faves, 5 follows, and 3 reviews (first one came in just past the 24hr mark)
DA: 258 views, but still no other engagement

Total Results: 1047 views, 74 kudos/faves, 12 bookmarks/follows, and 11 reviews

Tumblr Notes: 10 total; 5 likes off my post, plus the previous 2 likes off Ladynoir AO3 Feed's post, 2 reblogs off my post, and another reblog off LN AO3's post

New AO3 Comments:
  1. This is sooo cute! I need more of this story!
  2. *Another lengthy review: See Below*
  3. THIS IS SO GOOD / Amazing writing <3 <3 <3
  4. *Third semi-lengthy review: See Below*
FFN Reviews:
  1. Bet you ten bucks that as soon as he hears about the date, Gabriel will send an akuma to interrupt it. / He's a jerk like that.
  2. oh my goodness. this was so cute!
  3. Hah! That ending with [Redacted Due To Spoilers]! LOL! / I really loved it, no surprise. I always enjoy your work. I read the work that inspired this one first, too. It was fun to get both perspectives! Thanks for sharing, it was so nice to see a new story from you!

Lots of love to those comments. I know I'm pulling out the longer ones, but that's because they are too lengthy to include in a bulleted list without it becoming overwhelming. Please know that if you simply leave me a single emoji as a comment on my stories I will still love and cherish the fact that you felt compelled to interact with my writing.

Thank you. I love you.

Generated by Bitmoji

As for those pulled reviews though....

Lengthy Review #1:
Oooh soooo sweeeet!!!!
I love the fact that Adrien just start adoring Mari from the first sight. And her just randomly
[Redacted Due To Spoilers] 😂😂😂 They are just mix of sweetness and chaos xdd

I got so scared for Mari there!! I was scared that date with the dude was him making her go on the date or he kick her out or something. I was just really scared that he had some power over her. But then it turns out it was
[Redacted Due To Spoilers] 😭😂😂😂

Adrien/chat constantly thinking that Mari is cute? I live for it😂😂💖💖

Also love the end!!! I love our sunshine boy being just too excited to [Redacted Due To Spoilers]!!!

Great work!!!!!💖💖
Lengthy Review #2:
        Well, given that canon is largely from Marinette's POV, combined with the fact that Most Fanfic Writers Are Female, the comparatively little Adrien POV we get shouldn't be much of a surprise. That only makes it more precious to me.
        I like that you had him nervous even though
[Redacted Due To Spoilers]. I think most women don't realize what kind of risk a man is taking when he puts himself out there like that. If he's a decent guy, he has lowered his defenses, and he doesn't know whether she's going to take that opportunity to hurt him.

I agree with a lot of my reviews. This AU is too adorable with awkward Adult Adrien and Marinette stumbling their way into a relationship. I don't know if I can push through my burnout to write more within this universe, but I kind of want to.

My new story isn't the only one getting love lately, though.

I'm super excited - but also a touch embarrassed, simply due to the rating of the fic - that my Not Your Typical Reincarnation Story fic is still very regularly getting love. Not so much with comments, but I'm getting kudos nearly daily still! I also got two reblogs on Tumblr!

Here's the stats.

Stats from Last Update

AO3: 197 hits, 22 kudos, 2 bookmarks, and 4 comments
DA: 118 views, but still no interaction (probably never will get any, if I'm honest)

Total Results: 315 views, 22 kudos, 2 bookmarks, and 4 reviews

Tumblr Notes: 2 likes and 1 reblog

Comparitively, here's my stats now!

Current (at time of publishing) Stats

AO3: 627 hits, 62 kudos, 7 bookmarks, and the same 4 comments as before
DA: Now up to 131 views; probably will never get any other interaction on the story, if I'm honest.

Total Results: 758 views, 62 kudos, 7 bookmarks, and 4 comments

Tumblr Notes: 4 likes and 2 reblogs

I... The GROWTH! The NYTRS fandom must be thirstier than I thought. I was NOT expecting my smut story to be getting such regular reads and kudos! I'm glad that I apparently did a good enough job to warrant this love. Also, due to the subject matter and how people don't necessarily want it tied back to their account, I get why most of my views/kudos are from guests instead of named accounts. Likewise, I get why my comments section is relatively bare. I'm still thrilled to have this much love.

Especially since my first published smut - Sparks for the Moment - is nearly 5 years older, but doesn't even have 2x as many views, has an equal number of comments, and has fewer kudos and bookmarks. Could be a fandom differential, considering NYTRS is still on-going and Bitterblue was already an old book when I wrote my story. Still. It's nice to have that reassurance about a type of writing (smut) that I wasn't sure I was good at.

For oh-so-brief of a time in May I actually rode that writing high from getting so much love on my stories.

I published I Think I Like You (Maybe More Than I Should) on the 18th. The following day, Hubby and I watched the season (series? I hope not, given the cliffhanger) finale of Hailey's On It! The finale really cranked up the dial on the romance of the show. I was excited, but also nervous that the show would be cancelled before we get a season two and a conclusion to the cliff hanger. At the same time, though, I was a bit disappointed in myself. Back in, what, November? I had thought of that HOI fanfic of Scott confessing his feelings to Hailey. I had slept on actually writing that fic though, despite writing out an outline for it in January/February. After watching the finale, I feel like my story would have killed it. Did I miss my window?

I checked the show tag on both AO3 and FFN. Sadly, the show did seem to be dying. The finale only sparked one new story, as opposed to easily a dozen in the Miraculous Ladybug fandom with any given season finale. As for the show tag as a whole? There was only a couple dozen stories total on each site. I tore through most of the stories available (adding to my overall impressive - for me - reading time last month), and kind of scratched my head about how FEW Scott/Hailey stories there were... given her kissing Scott is kind of a key plot point of the series.... Scott's younger sister Becker clearly stole the show in the eyes of the fandom. So, even if I did publish, would I get any views? The fandom seems to be dying/non-existent, and most people seem to either not ship Hailey with Scott or only ship her with Scott if it's a polycule.

Then again, I didn't think I'd find any Bitterblue fans left when I posted my smut, and I still got 1300+ hits over the past 5 years. Maybe there's other Hailey/Scott shippers like me who are craving for content.

Generated by Bitmoji

Screw it! I wanted to write this story for over half-a-year now! Even if there are 5 other Scott/Hailey shippers left in the world, I want to write this story!

Write for myself, right?

With renewed interest in the story, and new determination to get it written, I started churning it out. I got about 1/2 way through the story, and about 2200 words in, before I hit my wall.

Between using the nice weather and renewed energy outside of work to try to catch up on housework, running out of down time at work because of the new projects, enjoying my front porch while trying to catch up on Dracula Daily entries, and pausing the story so I could instead work on this blog update.... well, my "Hailey's On It! story posted timely after the finale's cliffhanger" plan turned into my "I'll.... finish it before the end of the summer?" plan.

Let's hope I can break through this burnout and can find the time and energy to get back into writing. My latest story awaits! Do you peeps think I can get it done before the end of June so that I have a new story every month for the 2nd quarter of the year!?

I'm taking bets.

Generated by Bitmoji