Resolutions and Amazing Gifts

Ah, it's good to be back on my Tuesday routine. The stress of 2019 kinda rolled into the start of 2020, but it's dying down again a touch. My normal routine is still a bit off this month, however. There is a new hire at a different branch of the store I work for, and, for whatever reason, I'm apparently the Go-To-Gal for training new-hires. I've done so in the past, and I'm tapped to do so again this month. The added trick, however, is that the store she was hired for is so understaffed right now that the poor manager hasn't had a single day off in over a month! I thought MY December was rough!

To try to help a fella out, I'll be going to that store once a week to both train the new hire, as well as man the store - as it were - so the manager can finally have days off again. By the time I'm done training the new-hire at the end of January, hopefully she'll feel confident enough to run the store once or twice a week so the manager can continue to have his days off, and I will no longer have to commute roughly 90minutes round trip each week.

My own poor manager now has to work six days a week in order to cover for me being at the other store on one of her normal days off. So this is not the greatest arrangement all around. But it helps give someone his days off again, and it trains someone new, and I'm getting paid mileage, so it all works out, I guess.

Still, I won't be home until closer to 7pm on the days that I'm down at the other store, which means still no Zumba for me. I feel like it will do more harm than good to only go on Mondays, especially since I haven't been able to go for two months already. Soooooo, guess February will be my grand return finally???

Dear lord, I'm going to die when I go back....

NuaNia Facebook sticker
by PRANEAT

I also missed the first Writer's Group meeting of the year because I had to work on Tuesday - which was the 31st, so technically NOT the first of the year, but close enough - and I'll be working again when our next meeting comes around on the 14th! Which means I'm also going on month 2 of no writer's group meetings. This is killing me!

Hopefully, I'll be able to make the meeting on the 28th. Otherwise, February will be my true Restart Month: back to normal work week, back to Zumba 2x a week, back to Writing Group every other Tuesday, etc.

In the meantime, January is going to be more of a "trial run" for 2020.

I heard recently that the best way to create lasting New Year's Resolutions, and other such new routines for the new year, is to start the new resolution/routine in December. That way you can get into the routine and iron out any problems with it before the year starts. You would be less discouraged then - because if something falls through or otherwise fails you have time to correct it before the new year, whereas once in the new year you feel like it's not worth trying anymore - and you are more likely to continue with the resolutions.

So I'm a bit late to the party with this "trial month" attempt. However, December was far too chaotic for me to do a trial run of anything. I just completely collapsed and crumbled last month, and adding to those stressors would not have done anyone good.

Instead, I'm using this mindset of January being the "trial month" for my resolutions and new routines to try to refine things. Especially since I wasn't TERRIBLE with my resolutions last year. As I noted last week, I definitely tripped through my resolutions a lot, and fumbled quite a bit, but in the end, I didn't give up on them, so that's a win... right?

Let's check out how well I actually did with those resolutions, shall we?

2019 Resolution #1: Try yet again to write at least 4 out of 7 days of the week

With the chaos of frantic cleaning for my mom and sister to visit, I somehow packed my planner in a "safe spot" that I cannot find right now, so I don't have the stats for January through June of 2019. I vaguely remember them being fairly good with keeping to this resolution. I also did fairly well in July, working on One and the Same during my Camp NaNoWriMo. The rest of the year, though????

• Aug: This was the start of me slipping with my time audits. I only have 13 days marked as having written; 4 of those were my weekly blog posts.
• Sept: Even worse, I only have 11 days marked as having any writing progress.
• Oct: Thanks to Kyoru week and trying to finish my original story gift to Ronoxym, I have marked that I wrote every day for the first 18 days of October - minus Monday the 14th. I don't have any days after the 18th marked though, so I think I only wrote my blog for the rest of the month? Totaling in 19 writing days. Still not very good.
• Nov: Ironically, I only have 3 days marked on my calendar, but I also did the worst with keeping up with my time audits in November. I know I at least worked on my blog, and then on my story at Group, every Tuesday, and I have a single Thursday marked as having written something, so I know at least 5 days were spent writing. I know I was stressed in November, and certainly didn't write daily, but I feel like I wrote more often than 5 days....
• Dec: Ug. December was the worst offender for forgetting to do my time audits. I only have 2 days marked on my calendar, but I know I wrote a blog post for 4 out of the 5 Tuesdays, and I wrote my Plagg one-shot on the 13th. I also got my ML Secret Santa exchange done by the 24th, and had worked on that for a couple of days. I want to give myself the benefit of the doubt, and say I wrote at least 10 days out of the month???

So, yeah... didn't do too well with this resolution during the back half of the year. I'm hoping I can get myself into a much better routine so that I don't slip around July again, when life starts to get more and more frantic for me.

2019 Resolution #2: Finish and post my fanfic sequel One and the Same

I don't know what it is about this story that is so hard for me to write! Clearly I just full-on failed this resolution/goal, but I didn't give up on the project either. So there's that. I worked on it for every NaNoWriMo attempt. It was my project for April's Camp NaNo, and again for July's Camp, and once more during the original NaNoWriMo in November. I've chipped more and more and more away at the project. I've solidified scenes. I've gotten rid of others. I've strengthened the plot concept. I've gotten the rough draft past 50,000 words. I. Just. Can't. Complete. The. Dang. Thing!!!!

I think part of the delay is that I feel like this story isn't as strong a showing as Peeping Tomcat was, and I want both stories to be equally good. Especially after the long wait, I don't want to disappoint my patient readers by having One and the Same feel inferior. So it's certainly a struggle, and OatS beat me in 2019, unfortunately.

2019 Resolution #3: Post at least one new completed story per month

I mentioned this last week, but I both succeeded and failed at this goal. I did not manage to post a completed story every month. I DID, however, manage to post over 20 completed stories this past year. While the resolution did state "at least" one story - already implying that I'd write more than one in any given month - and therefore should cancel out the abundance I produced in August and September, I'm still going to call this resolution NEARLY successful. A... B+ grade for the effort I put in to complete it and the added "extra credit" stories to make up for the "missed assignments", as they were.

2019 Resolution #4: Win NaNoWriMo again this November

Yeeeeeeaaaaah... No. This did NOT happen. Fail. Super fail. Nope.

HOWEVER, I also didn't give up attempting to write in November. I kept wanting to. I kept telling myself it wasn't working, and yet I pushed on. I chipped away word by word right up until I left to visit family on the 29th. I made sure that this was NOT going to be my worst showing at NaNoWriMo. It is only my SECOND worst showing; I managed to irk out a little more than 3900 words. Still 3900 more than I had going into November, right? So... yay?

2019 Resolution #5: Continue my weekly blog post routine

I was so close! I had gone MONTHS without missing a post. I may have been days late, but I got it done before the week was out. Then, in June, I tripped and missed a week. I was going to make up for it by writing my normal blog post, as well as writing up my feelings about the novels Graceling and Bitterblue that I had read over the summer as a bonus. I wanted to wait until I finished the trilogy, and never did get a chance to read Fire, so that bonus post was never written. I tripped again in November. While I also kinda-sorta tripped last week by having it be my first post of the new year instead of the last of 2019, I'll leave it to you to decide if I was down 2 or 3 posts in 2019. Either way, 50 posts out of the year is fairly consistent. It seems to be my norm: out of the nearly-ten years that I've had this blog, I started writing in it weekly back in 2012. Since then, I have written 50 posts/year 3 times - including 2019 - and more than 50 posts also 3 times. I have only managed to write once per week in 2017, but even for that year I missed weeks and then double-posted later so....

As for that "reading challenge" I was going to write up, and post later? The one that became "Meh, I'm reading a lot of fanfic this year; I'll just try to track the words read"? Yeah. That ended up going virtually nowhere, sadly. I did read a lot of fanfic - especially in December - and I did manage to read at least three professionally published novels. All-in-all, though, I feel like I slacked off in my reading.

It may simply be because I read quick fanfic one-shots while on brief work breaks, and so mentally I slotted them away as "don't count" for whatever reason. So I'm going to try to do better with that as well.

Which brings me to....

*~*~* New Year's Resolutions for 2020 *~*~*

To be completely frank, they're going to more-or-less be the same resolutions as 2019. As I said above, my goal this year is to REFINE. So let's see if I can do better with these goals this year.

2020 Resolution #1: Try yet again to write at least 4 out of 7 days of the week

I must tackle this goal first and foremost by getting into the routine for my time audits; track where my time is going so I can better see when my best writing time even is. These audits also hold me accountable for my time. Plus, they really do help when I reflect back on the year and try to see how frequently I did get to work on writing.

I also need to get back into finding set times to write. I have an alarm on my phone that goes off every night at 8pm, telling me to go write. However, due to TV shows Hubby and I wish to watch, socializing, or just chores getting delayed, I haven't actually stopped to write at 8pm in MONTHS. Maybe even all of 2019! So clearly that is not a good time for me to write. I fear that my best writing time is in the morning, before I start my day since I have such limited time post-work day. Which means training myself to actually slide out of bed instead of hitting snooze for an hour so I can cuddle my husband. We'll see how well I do with finding a more routine writing time.

It does help when I routinely work on this blog every Tuesday morning from about 8am until.... whenever it is I get to finish it. So maybe a similar routine will help with consistent fictional writing as well.

2020 Resolution #2: Finish and post my fanfic sequel One and the Same

I. Am. Determined!

I have lived with this story for so long, and I've had TWO WHOLE SERIES SEASONS to give me new fodder to work with. My readers have patiently waited for an extra YEAR past what I promised them. I can't keep delaying this story. I'm going to try to be realistic though. So here is my sub-goal breakdown:

• Jan: Get my bearings. Re-read what I have of OatS. Re-read PT to get back into the feel of the story. Re-read and re-tweak my outline.
• Feb: Get back into a writing rhythm. Refine the outline using the notes I took in January. Refine what I've already written for OatS, again using the notes I took in January.
• March: Now that I'm back in rhythm, and no longer distracted by other writing projects, start working on figuring out the dang akuma attacks, as well as other "middle bits" that have been halting my progress on this story.
• April: Use Camp NaNoWriMo to finish the rough draft of this dang story!
• May: My manager's daughter is getting married in May, so I might be working extra hours the last week of April. If this hinders my writing, use May to finish the rough draft. Otherwise, use it to recoup from Camp, and work on other projects. Let OatS sit.
• June: Polish OatS. Go through and edit what needs to be edited so that the "rough draft" is in its nearly-polished form at the very least, and the first chapter is as good as I'm going to be able to make it.
• July: Spend Camp editing OatS so that I can post a new chapter every week, just as I did with PT.
• Aug: Finish polishing up OatS in order to get ahead of my posting schedule; having the whole thing as perfect as I can make it before the end of the month. Keep publishing new chapters weekly.
• Sept: I will most likely be publishing weekly chapters still. Use this time for any catch-up spill-over from August, and focus on the next big writing project; whatever that is.

We'll see how well I stick to this scheduling. Encouraging words and gentle pokes/prods to stay on track are appreciated.

2020 Resolution #3: Participate in at least one fandom event per quarter.

I switched this one up a bit. Last year, when I gave myself the goal to write a story a month, it was partially a way to make sure I kept writing as a priority. It was a means to hold me accountable so I wouldn't slack off. It was a way to train myself to produce a bit faster. Most importantly, though, it was supposed to be a way for me to build up readers.

My name would pop up in feeds more frequently. I would be closer to the top of "recent uploaded" lists within the fandom tags on FFN, AO3, and Tumblr. There would be more content for readers to consume if they liked one story, and that would give them a better feel for my over-all writing. Hopefully, that would lead them to like my writing in general and want to subscribe to/follow me. Also, if I posted moderately frequently - once a month - then perhaps that would also be enticing to readers: this content creator does so with moderate regularity. I knew I wouldn't be as quick or popular as those who posted daily, or at least weekly, but it would be a start.

In the end, I fear that my drive to complete SOMETHING monthly forced me to focus more on those monthly stories, and less on OatS, which could have helped with my overall delaying of the project. Especially when some of my time was spent just trying to figure out WHAT to write. Sure, there were points where inspiration struck and wouldn't let go - Prescription for Love in March, Love Taps in June, Sparks for the Moment in July, and both Painfully Close and evolving Stranger in a White Dress into I Don't Care in August - but most of the months had me painstakingly plan something, and usually as a gift for someone.

Participating in events will probably have a fairly similar affect on OatS, sadly, since I will be working on those stories instead of dedicating that extra time to my main project. HOWEVER, events usually come with prompts. Sure, there were days during Kyoru Week where I spent most of the day trying to figure out how to use the prompt, but there were also days where the story came fairly quickly. Prompts help direct me, so I'm not as stressed trying to figure out what to even write about. Truthfully, that was part of my issue with the fandom gift exchange for Christmas. I didn't really have much of a jumping point, whereas I had more direction when writing my gifts for Taurus Pixie and ChibiSunnie throughout the year. For February's Secret Admirer exchange, we will be provided with two prompt ideas from our giftee, and I know it's going to be Lukanette-centric, so it should be a lot smoother sailing than the Christmas exchange was. In theory, these prompted events will be less stressful and easier on my creative muscles then pulling a random story out of thin air monthly. And, most importantly for my over-all goal for the year, much like with my monthly posting attempts, I hope participating in these events will help get my name out there more. Part of the draw of the events is that the host will reblog the participants' works. This puts it in view of the event's followers: an audience of the other participants, as well as non-participants who may have followed specifically to enjoy the new content. That is most likely a much larger audience than what I currently have.

The long and short of this resolution is that I hope it helps ease my stress of having to come up with something new monthly. I also hope it helps me learn to produce faster, it helps refresh my creativity when I run into writers blocks with OatS, and it helps increase my name recognition within the fandom(s). On top of all of that, I hope that - while I have two different events in February already - cutting down to one event every quarter - January through March, April through June, July through September, and October through December - will also cut down on the overall distraction from OatS. We'll see how this new resolution fairs compared to my "once a month" one from 2019.

2020 Resolution #4: Plagg Appreciation Days

Another new one for the year. I need to recover from my poor showing at NaNo last year, so I won't aim to "win" this year; just to again participate and maybe succeed with a half-NaNo. So, instead of having a NaNo-focused resolution, I'm instead focusing on a fun, semi-sporadic fandom event I want to get trending.

Since the show Miraculous Ladybug includes both a black cat themed superhero and a black cat looking super being, I love the idea of focusing on those two boys every Friday the 13th. People equate that day with black cats and bad luck, and the reason Chat Noir has the powers he does is precisely because of the black cats and bad luck connection. Add in that we don't get to see Plagg on screen nearly as much as we do Tikki, and Chat Noir rarely gets a chance to shine in the show, it is very often that Plagg is overlooked, and Chat Noir is only used in MariChat romance fanfic or as a main character in a demon  or enemy AU. They need better representation than that, so I wanted to turn Friday the 13th into Plagg Appreciation Day (and/or Chat Noir Appreciation Day) within the fandom. I already wrote two Plagg-centric stories on the last two Friday 13ths since I came up with this concept. I want to make sure I hit both Friday 13ths of 2020 as well, and possibly get the concept trending within the fandom.

For those who would like to help me with my stretch goal by participating in Plagg Appreciation Days, we have a Friday 13th in March, but we don't get another one until November. Poor Plagg, at least he had three relatively in a row: September, December, and now March... One every 3 months is pretty cool....

2020 Resolution #5: Continue my weekly blog post routine

This will forever and always be one of my resolutions, until it becomes second nature to me. I will attempt to write one blog post each week. I will try to not miss a week and then have to make up for it via a double-posting. I will try to plan ahead so I have the blog post ready ahead of time on Tuesdays where I work or are otherwise busy. Considering it's already past my noon posting time, and I was three days late in posting last week, I won't bother attempting to post at a regular time. This year is just "once per week; preferably on Tuesdays" and I'll build from there next year.

2020 Resolution #6: Track my reading

Once again, due to how crazy December was for me, I neglected to find an official reading challenge for 2020. I also neglected to write one up myself. Instead, I'm going to try again with simply track my reading: How much do I read, how frequently do I read, how much do I read in fanfiction compared to traditional publishing, etc?

With the frantic pacing of this year, I don't recall going back and reading anything yet. Great start, huh? Especially when a friend of mine has already blown through her first book. Still, January is "Trial Month" this year, so I have time to "catch up", as it were. So, from now on, at the end of each blog post, I will attempt to include a QUICK recap of what I read that week, to better keep track of it all. Along those lines, I am a fan of fantasy, urban fantasy, "modern" sci-fi - so stuff set before 2100, Steampunk, and comedy. If anyone has any recommendations, please feel free to leave them in the comments section below.

Now, if you couldn't quite tell based on my post being roughly 80% about my resolutions, I haven't really done much writing yet this year. I spent last week cleaning, working, and trying to get my blog post up. Then post-blog-publishing on Friday, it was back to cleaning. Saturday was the tail end of last-minute cleaning before the fam showed up, then it was a weekend with them. They left about 3pm on Sunday, and then it was time to do more cleaning; mostly 4 loads of laundry.

Yesterday I just needed a break. After I was done with work, I picked Hubby up from his job, and we did quick grocery shopping. Then we made dinner, ate, and I crashed. I tried going through the countless Tumblr posts I have backlogged, or read and comment on reviews I received, or read and comment on Taurus Pixie's latest blog post, or reply to ChibiSunnie on Facebook. Each time my mind just went, "Nope. We're shutting down now. Catch ya tomorrow."

So I did indeed hit all of that - minus the Tumblr feed - first thing this morning to make sure I had the energy to do so. One of the reasons this post is late... but... priorities.

I did intend to spend last night starting this blog post, as an attempt to get the post written Monday nights, and simply edited Tuesday mornings; making it easier to publish on time.

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With laundry caught up on, I don't have to do that tonight, and with Hubby and I doing our shopping last night, that's another chore I usually do on Tuesdays and don't have to. I also don't have writing group tonight, so that's two extra hours in the evening. Perhaps I can use all of that newly found time to get back to writing. I'd love to give you an update on that next week.

In the meantime, though, holy smokes did I get awesome gifts this Christmas!

Hubby had given me the SOFTEST throw blanket in the shape and style of the Hylian Shield from the Legend of Zelda franchise.

Found on Amazon

He also got me a set of Steampunk D&D dice that are brown and yellow with gear designs on each side. There was also a bunch of "little things" sprinkled throughout December, but those were the two "main gifts" from him.

I also got a copy of Muppet Treasure Island from my sister-in-law. This has to be my favorite Muppets movie, and up until Christmas, I only had my VHS copy. My father-in-law gifted me a journal, pens, and a book on grammar. My manager also gifted me a journal and pens, because people are enablers of my addiction to journals/notebooks. My other co-worker gifted me a room escape game that will be fun to try out.

I already shared last week the story that I was gifted in the Secret Santa exchange.

Then there was my mom! I got two new bracelets with encouraging inscriptions on them and other such positive meanings behind them. She also got me an assortment of books to help me with writing prompts, and world building, and even map drawing! Whoot! Then there was also the friggen Ocarina!

Found on Amazon

I've wanted one pretty much ever since I found out they recreated the Ocarina of Time from the Zelda game of the same name. I kept delaying my purchase for whatever reason, but Mom swooped in and got one for me. Now to try it out and see if I can actually learn how to play the thing. It didn't really go well when I tried learning the alto horn and trumpet in middle school, but that was MIDDLE SCHOOL. I'm much older, more mature, and more determined to learn now.

I'm just nervous to start with anyone around. I'll most likely be squeaky and out of tune to start, and I don't want to annoy anyone with my practices. I'll keep you posted on my progress with that, though.

I also got a message from ChibiSunnie last week, wishing me a happy new year, and to digitally gift me my annual Christmas card. Look at how amazing it looks!!!!

Christmas card created by Chibisunnie
See the full-sized image on her art blog

EEEEEE, it's steampunk Kyoru! I love it! You can see how much I love it in my reblog of it. I'll spare those of you who didn't click that link by simplifying my feelings to: LOOK HOW PRETTY! EVERYONE GIVE IT LOVE!!!!


Now... as much as I hate stating that one gift in particular "won" over all of the other fantastic and amazing and heartfelt gifts I received, I'm certainly leaning towards stating that my sister kinda "won" Christmas this year.

Last year, while I was still gushing about how well Peeping Tomcat had done the first year it was live, my mom asked for a Word document version of the story. It's hard for her to read it off the sites I posted to, and for some reason she wasn't a fan of the PDF or other e-reader download options available off of AO3. So I went ahead and sent her the original document.

A little while later, my sister also asked for the file. I found it odd that she needed her own copy, but I ran with it. For her, I sent the Word document as well as the PDF. About a month or so later, she asked me about the image I used for the PT cover:

The official cover art I used for
my FFN and AO3 postings

The banner image I used for promotions
since it took up less space.
I also used this for each of the AO3 chapter titles.

My "spidey-sense" was tingling when she asked for the cover art images. I had suspected that she was planning on doing something with them to help commemorate my first novel-length bit of writing.

That was back in like May or June, though, so when my birthday came and went and I didn't get anything, I just shrugged it off, and kind of forgot about it.

Until Saturday, when I opened my sister's gift, and saw this.

I flipped open the book and....

MY SISTER FRIGGEN PUBLISHED MY FANFICTION FOR ME!!!!!

Now, it isn't available for public consumption in physical form; it's not for sale since it is fanfiction and I don't have the right to sell a story filled with someone else's characters and world-build. Still, IT'S FLIPPIN' PUBLISHED! I CAN PUT PEEPING TOMCAT ON MY BOOKSHELF!

How cool is that!? How have I not thought to do this myself?

The poor thing was having one heck of a time with the story, though. The formatting kept fighting her - must be a family trait - and my copy is actually the third one she bought, which is why I didn't receive it as a 35th birthday gift. The first publication turned out way too large - from how she described it, it sounds like a Coffee Table Book - and so that's now my mom's copy. She likes that the font is so large, so it's easier for her to read. Plus, Mom prefers reading physical novels over e-books. The second version was with a matte hardcover, but my sister wasn't a fan of how that turned out, and there were still formatting errors within the text, so that's now her copy.

My copy still has - I think she counted six? - formatting errors in the text itself, but the gloss finish cover and size were closer to what she wanted to get for me, so that's the version I now own. I don't mind the errors. As Hubby joked, it's probably fewer than what appears in most professionally published work. I'm just so friggen excited about having a physical copy of my work like this!

Maki Natsuo from the anime Love Lab

So, super duper humungo thanks, Sis, for the gift. It is suuuuch a motivational boost for my writing! Plus, it's further incentive to get that re-read of PT done so I can better get a feel for OatS.

Also... now I know where to go to print off a physical copy of OatS once I finally have THAT story done!

Okay, it's now 2:30, and this is yet ANOTHER epic post. So I'll cut off here. Until next week, you guys.

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*Sigh* Order is Important, Guys

Camp hasn't been going too well so far. As of last night, I'm up to 1,686 words out of my 50,000 word goal. Granted, if I go through everything I wrote during November's NaNo and since, I'm actually up to 34,385 words. Not all THAT bad, but still, this story is coming together SOOOOOOOO slowly compared to “Peeping Tomcat”.

Most of my progress this past week was re-reading chapter scenes I wrote months ago, in order to get re-acquainted with my story. I've been doing tweaks and edits, but mostly, I've been trying to structure everything as a whole. Trying to thread these scenes together, and wondering what other scenes need to go in between.

The next few paragraphs contain oh-so-minor spoilers for "One and the Same," but if you want to go into the story completely cold, you might want to scroll for a bit.
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The two main scenes I wrote for the middle of my story, the parts that are all MariChat goodness as Marinette and Chat Noir build up their own friendship, involves the bracelet Marinette gave Adrien in the episode "Gamer", and the fact that Marinette's room is coated in pictures of Adrien.

For those who don't know the show, Marinette's bedroom evolved thusly. In the beginning of the series, she had her screensaver and/or her computer desktop decorated with a collage she made of some of Adrien's fashion ads. A few episodes in, we see that she also has a copy of his schedule for the year, and a framed picture of him - again, from an ad - resting on her desk. By the episode "Gamer" we discover that she's basically wallpapering her bedroom with pictures of Adrien. These pictures are mostly from his ads, but there's also some candid shots from just hanging out with a friend. Still, they're taped up all over her walls. Late in season 1, in the episode "The Puppeteer", the pictures are still up on her walls, but Chat Noir has to enter Marinette's bedroom to stop an akumatized villain. Marinette, as Ladybug, gets very nervous about the possibility of Chat Noir seeing the pictures. Keep in mind that Chat Noir doesn't know who Ladybug is, and Marinette doesn't know that Chat Noir is Adrien. Still, she clearly doesn't want anyone aside from her family and her female friends knowing about her crush. Even if, as far as Ladybug knows, Chat Noir only knows Marinette in passing, she still doesn't want him to know of Marinette's crush. This is important for my story.

In the season 2 episode "Glaciator", we see that the pictures aren't covering her room as much, and she now has a corkboard by her bed, and THAT is where she has a whole collection of Adrien pictures. She even has a magazine cover he was on posted next to the board. About mid-season 2, in the episode "Troublemaker", we are shown a comedic explosion of Adrien pictures in Marinette's room as Ladybug and Chat Noir battle a supervillain in it. Nearly everywhere Chat Noir looks, he has pictures of his civilian form literally thrown in his face.

Now, in the season 3 episode "Silencer" that just aired, I noticed that Marinette didn't have her pictures of Adrien up as she normally did. I thought it was because her male friend Ivan, and her other crush Luka, were in her room, so she hid the pictures of Adrien. However, when I noted this on Tumblr, someone pointed out that the pictures went away after the embarrassment of "Troublemaker." I didn't notice that, and I haven't gone back to double check, but I know I'm probably going to take some time to do so this week.

Anyway, even if the person is right, and the photos are gone after "Troublemaker", my stories "Peeping Tomcat" and "One and the Same" are sort of an alternate telling of season 2. All the canon facts presented in season 1, and in the season 2 premiere "The Collector" - because it finishes off the plot of the season 1 finale "Volpina" - are the only things I follow to the letter. After "The Collector", I ignore seasons 2 or 3 exist. However, I do still use generic knowledge we gather from those episodes.

Information, such as Adrien always carrying around the bracelet Marinette gave him in his pocket, or Marinette having pictures of Adrien EVERYWHERE - at least, for a time, or that Marinette's paternal grandmother is Italian and a perpetual traveler, or that Juleka has an older brother named Luka, or that Chloe's mother is a fashion critic who lives in NYC so she can run a fashion magazine, etc. These elements would still be true, regardless of events that happen in the show, so I consider them fair game. Elements, like Marinette potentially taking down her photos out of embarrassment, or because she's getting close enough to Adrien that she doesn't need to obsess or idolize him anymore, or because she also has a crush on Luka and might not want to focus her room solely on Adrien anymore, won't show up in my story. They are reactions to events that happen within the 2nd and 3rd seasons of the show, and if those events don't happen in my universe, then the affects won't happen.

Make sense?

Anyway, back to my story, and this part gets a bit more spoiler-y, so I'm going to throw up another spoiler warning here.
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So, you're now caught up on the important elements of the show: Marinette basically wallpapers her bedroom with Adrien pictures, and she gets embarrassed when anyone outside a select few people sees this obsession. She even gets embarrassed when Chat Noir sees them, even though she doesn't know Chat Noir is Adrien. We also know, thanks to season 2, that Adrien carries around the bracelet Marinette gave him.

In the episode "Gamer", Adrien and Marinette were paired up to represent their school in a video gaming tournament. He went to her house in order to practice their team-up skills in the game, however, she was almost single-handedly beating each game boss. Adrien gets upset that he wasn't much help, which, honestly, I think had an extra level of sting because he saw a parallel with his partnership with Ladybug. Marinette cheered him up by offering a charm bracelet she just happened to have in her pocket. She claimed it gave her luck, which helped her win her matches, and told Adrien to see if it would work for him.

He never got the chance to give the bracelet back to her, and now carries it around with him wherever he goes. In the second season episode "Befana" he pretty much claims that the bracelet is his now, because he makes a replacement for Marinette as a birthday gift. This replacement bracelet won't show up in my story, because I don't want to officially put my version of the story after Marinette's birthday.

Anyway, months ago, in writing group, I read "Build Your Own Luck" which tells my headcanon of where the bracelet came from in the first place: Marinette's father made it to cheer her up when she was 5. Then, around November, I read snippets of OatS, which included Adrien and Plagg talking about the bracelet. Adrien wondered if Marinette could ever like him back, and Plagg asked about the bracelet, almost noting it as proof that she might like him already. That was when the other members of the writing group wondered if Adrien knew that Marinette's dad made the bracelet. Since that isn't canon, I told them that Adrien didn't.

But... why couldn't he?

So, one of my scenes is Adrien, as Chat Noir, finding out where the bracelet came from, and the significance of Marinette gifting it to Adrien.

In another scene, Marinette's klutziness causes her to cover Chat Noir in a sticky icing, so she hurriedly offers that he gets washed up in the sink she has in her bedroom vanity. She's not even thinking about the Adrien pictures throughout her room. At least, not until after he sees them.

Herein lies the problem that I've been trying to tackle throughout the week.

I want both scenes in the story. I think they both are great, and each have their own impact on Marinette's and Chat Noir's friendship, as well as introduce something different into the whole Adrien/Marinette dynamic. However, both scenes are also perfect times for Marinette to either confess to Chat Noir that she loves Adrien, or for Chat Noir/Adrien to figure it out himself.

I can't have that "ah-ha moment" in BOTH scenes, however. So I have to decide which one is the "gateway scene", as it were, to hint that there's more than just friendship there, and which one actually confirms the crush.

Now, in the show, Adrien does indeed see all the pictures in the episode "Troublemaker." Before the supervillain attacks, Marinette's bedroom - pictures of Adrien and all - accidentally gets aired on a live reality show, so Marinette knows ADRIEN specifically saw them. Adrien also saw them as Chat Noir, so I have that as a good base on what his reaction would be upon seeing them.

By the end of the episode, though, Marinette claims she just has the photos so she could study fashion. Adrien teases her a little about being an obsessive fan, but quickly counters with how glad he is that she's a fan, and offers for her to come to a photo shoot in order to help her study fashion more.

So... it's possible that the photos are the "gateway" scene.

Alternatively, Marinette could talk about the bracelet with Chat Noir while they are on her balcony, before he's granted access to her bedroom. As she tells the story of the bracelet, it could just be showcased how selfless Marinette was, but implied that maybe she wouldn't have been so kind as to give the bracelet away if it were anyone but Adrien.

So.... is THIS the "gateway" scene?

Which way would be more impactful? Adrien, as Chat Noir, seeing how selfless Marinette is by hearing about her bracelet, and then seeing the pictures, and putting two-and-two together so that he knows she loves Adrien? Or would it be better if he finds out about the pictures, and just thinks she's an obsessive fan, only to hear the true significance of the bracelet and have THAT be the point where he realizes she's not just a fan but in love with him?

I keep writing both scenes in both orders, and let me tell you.... it's hard to adjust them for the alternate orders. I have to re-write most of the scene depending on which order they're in. But in the end, I can only keep one set. And the other 10,000 words or so are trash....

Hubby votes for knowing about the bracelet first since it seems more "friendly" and easier to justify without romance attached to it. Also, if Adrien thinks of Marinette as an obsessive fan first, it might affect how he acts around her. But the more I write, the more I think the evolution of Adrien's realization that Marinette isn't a fan but in love might be the way to go?

Alternatively, what if Marinette's crush is revealed with the pictures, and the bracelet is still the second scene, but this time it shows Adrien that it's more than just a crush; she's actually in love with him... should I do that?

I DON'T KNOW! I CAN'T DECIDE!!!!!
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OKAY! SPOILERS OVER NOW! YOU CAN START READING AGAIN IF YOU SKIPPED THE LAST PART!

The long and short, for any who scrolled past what turned out to be the top half of my post, I have two scenes that I definitely want in the story. They are pretty much ALL I have for the middle of the story. The struggle, however, is that I can't decide which one I want to go first in the story, because the order impacts the significance of each scene, and I can't decide which impact I like better.

Trying to figure out which order I prefer, so I know how to write the scenes so they can coincide within the same story, I figured I'd attack the plot outline again.

I was able to tweak it a LIIIIIITTLE, but I still don't have the middle at all. This evolution of the MariChat relationship, and having Marinette fall for Chat Noir is not coming to me. Which is weird, considering how I seem to stumble into that kind of emotional character development.

"Woven Heartstrings" had a growing MariChat dynamic that I didn't intend to have at the level it ended up becoming by the end of the story. If I can "accidentally stumble" into a dynamic MariChat friendship/relationship in a story I was writing on the fly, why can't I do it for a story that has been brewing for nearly two years now?

I need to figure out another way to try to attack this story, because writing out an outline isn't working. Writing out of order isn't working. Just sitting and writing the thing, and letting it develop on its own isn't working.

Under normal circumstances, I'd say the story just isn't working and abandon it, but I WANT to tell this story. I know where I want to start. I know where I want to end. I have, what I believe to be, a compelling ending.

BUT HOW DO YOU MIDDLE!?!?!

Knives from the Scott Pilgrim comic books
by Bryan Lee O'Malley

I'm going to just cheer myself up by looking at pictures of Marinette's other love interest Luka. This boy makes me happy, and their dynamic isn't nearly as frustrating as Marinette and Adrien.

I'm so glad they finally added black outlines to the kid's eyes. He actually looks human now that he has eyelashes. Please compare the above image from the latest episode "Silencer" to the first appearance of Luka in the season 2 episode "Captain Hardrock."

Or, more accurately, how about the middle shot of Luka from "Captain Hardrock" verses the long shot of him in "Silencer"?

In that long shot his eyes are so well-defined compared to his first appearance on the show. Either the animators improved on their craft, or "Silencer" was given to the superior of the two studios the show uses for their episodes. I'm kinda thinking the latter happened since Luka's hair also changed from black with teal tips to dark blue with electric blue tips.

This kid makes me happy, and I'll probably fangirl about him for another week or so. While there were a few dud episodes this season - the season opener "Chameleon" and the episode "Chris Master" were kind of irritatingly meh for me - the majority of this season has been amazing! "Weredad" where Marinette tries to hide that she's Ladybug by distracting Chat Noir with a love confession? "Animaestro" where the show creator Thomas Astruc has a whole self-indulgent, self-insert episode where his original PV becomes canonically an in-universe movie about the superheroes? "Oblivio" where we get to see Marinette and Adrien's dynamic if they didn't get hung up on their own awkwardness around the other? "Silencer" where we have a wonderful Luka-centric episode? "Backwarder" where we find out more about Master Fu, and get a delightful Comedy of Errors and the most convoluted Lucky Charm solution to an akuma? Plus, "Backwarder" inspired me to write "Prescription for Love," so there's that.

Then there's the episode "Stormy Weather 2" which was equal parts "meh; clip show" and "this episode is amazing!" because it gave us more of the Nathalie/Gabriel dynamic, showed us more of Nooroo, had Marinette try to be less obsessive of Adrien, and had Adrien potentially show that he has feelings for Marinette as well.

Even the "meh" ones like "Chameleon" and "Chris Master" had good moments. "Chameleon" showed how much of an ally Adrien was to Marinette, and had the first true hints that he sees her as more than just a friend after she kissed his cheek in "Mayura." Then "Chris Master" FINALLY introduced us to ANYONE within Nino's family. He's one of the main support characters, and yet we knew nothing about his family: where he lives, how large his family is, who his parents are, does he live with both parents, etc. Meanwhile, we've been in Alya's home multiple times, and have met all six members of her family, Alya included. Juleka is a more minor character, but we've met her mother and brother - Luka - and have visited her home a few times. Mylene is another more minor character, but we have at least met her father. Same with Sabrina. Alix was one of the first side-characters, aside from Chloe, where we meet her father and older brother.

True, there are still tons of characters where we know nothing about their family and/or home-life: Max, Kim, Rose, Ivan, and especially the almost always forgotten Nathaniel. However, Nino is Marinette's friend, and Adrien's BEST friend, and it kept us until the 3rd season to find out he has a younger brother?

A lot of the fandom also loved "Chris Master" because it was just a silly episode where life-sized toys invade Paris in search for Santa Claus. Yeah, it was funny, but it was still "meh" over-all for me, except for meeting Nino's brother.

Anyway, I lost the point in there somewhere, which was that I'm LOVING this season of "Miraculous Ladybug." If only it could inspire me to get OatS written!

I need to shake off the rust, the cobwebs, and the self-doubt. I need to just sit down and write this week. Perhaps the rest of today can be spent really locking in that outline so I know where I'm going with this story. I have about 4 different outlines scattered throughout different methods: just straight up writing what I want to happen, writing out the plot points in a 3 Act outline, using the Snowflake Outline method created by Randy Ingermanson, and my notecards of plot points to organize. I feel like I actually have more outlines out in the ether somewhere, but those are the four I remember having....

Thankfully, I seem to have been matched up with some really cool people in my Camp NaNo cabin. I also have writing group tonight, so perhaps that can inspire me as well. With any luck and discipline, I should be back on track by next week. Here's hoping.

Vash the Stampede from Trigun
Manga created by Yasuhiro Nightow

In-story Calendars are the Key

It's only been a week since the US mid-term elections? Wow. While this year has been flying by - wasn't it JUST summer!? - this week just craaaaaawled.

Makes you think I had time to write then, doesn't it?

HA!

ha....

Hacker Girl Facebook sticker
by Birdman, Inc.

I'm not even going to post my word-count NaNo calendar this week. Yes, I ended up writing about 900+ words during last Tuesday's writer group word-sprints, but since that night I only added 200 words.... yesterday....

We're nearly at the half-way mark, and I'm not even at 5000 words.

To be fair, my third-ever NaNo in 2014 just barely had over 3000 words written, so I've at least surpassed that. I don't know if I'm going to hit half-NaNo stats like I did with my other two non-wins, but I'm trying.

I'm still struggling to find my groove with this story. When I'm in my flow I can crank out words pretty quickly. I can tear through my daily word-count goal in an hour or two; three tops. I mean, Build Your Own Luck started off as a simple headcanon thought that Tom made The Bracelet to try to cheer up Marinette, and as I was writing up my fan theory about it the one-shot birthed from my head like a 2800-word Athena. Same with my "ah-ha moment" when it came to the characterization of Gabriel Agreste, and that "simple" headcanon turned into a three-part character study on Tumblr; the three parts combined being like 11pgs long or something....

When I'm not in the groove though? It takes me two hours to write 211 words.

In an attempt to become re-inspired, I spent the week doing something you're "not supposed" to do during NaNo; during any first draft, really: edit. Too many writers get stuck trying to make their first draft the FINAL draft that they never actually complete it.

There is a writer in my local group who has read us the FIRST CHAPTER of her story about half-a-dozen times. Keep in mind that we only meet every other week, and there were some sessions where she didn't read. She FINALLY moved onto the second chapter, barely, only a week or two ago. That's about six months just on the FIRST CHAPTER.

She wanted it perfect. She needed it to be perfect. She just couldn't move on until she got the exact word she needed in this sentence, or until that sentence had the perfect structure. Omnibladestrike is very much the same way. He wants his first draft to be perfection, so he edits and edits and edits before ever moving past the first chapter. It's a dangerous trap, because struggling to hit perfection in that first chapter, while you're still learning about your characters and world, tends to kill an author's inspiration and motivation. You don't see progress, so you feel that lack of development, and the story tends to die. Or at least goes into hibernation.

This is why, NaNo participant or no, you really shouldn't edit the first draft. Just get the crap on paper; polish later.

That all being said, sometimes editing what you have thus far is helpful. As you edit you discover things that helps you push forward in the story. As you figure out what you don't like about the chapter and why, you also see character or world development you didn't know before, and it helps you create more of your tale.

Omni did it with his one original story. He was stuck in the first chapter, and with all of his re-works he realized what wasn't working for him was the history and basic build of the culture he created. Since they are the backbone of his story, finally figuring out that's what he needed to fix - and figuring out what works better for him - rejuvenated his writing spirit. At least, for a little bit.

For my fellow writer at group, each edit brought out a bit more character development. Each pass made the characters more real to her, which made her more invested in her work, which helped her move past that intro. The environment became more solid to her as well.

And now with me? Well, as I went back and re-read the scenes I excitedly wrote in September, I felt the energy I once had for "One and the Same." I remembered why I want to write this story. I think I was too much in my head. I think I worried too much about "what if it's a flop? What if people don't think it's a decent sequel to PT? What if it ends up being self-indulgent crap?"

First of all, fanfiction readers LOVE self-indulgent crap because more often than not they want the same self-indulgence.

Story all about fluff with little plot to it? Just the couple having a pillow fight while watching a movie together? That's some of the most popular stuff on FFN and AO3!

Secondly, as ChibiSunnie, Ali Luke, Cyhyr, and Jowy's Pixie all pointed out to me: don't write for the audience; write for me. The audience will find it. If I enjoy it; they will.

I keep telling DFL this whenever she's concerned that her Babylonian-era story isn't as "flashy" as some of our other stories. How is it that I can hand out writing advice, but never seem to hear it myself?

I needed to re-find my story, and my love for it. My NEED to tell it, the same way I NEEDED to tell “Peeping Tomcat”. I'm still not sure the story grabs me the same way; pushing me to tell it. I am getting more excited though.

I went back through bits of PT to get some of my in-universe canonical timeline figured out - pre-established events such as the launch of Gabriel's newest fashion line, for instance - and then continued working on it for OatS. Getting a better feel for what's happening when in the world around Adrien and Marinette helps me figure out what they're doing. Despite the fact that they're characters and I can totally have everything revolve around their story, I like making the world feel more real by NOT having it revolve around them. I like having things happen in the world and having my characters react or have to organize their lives around it. So knowing dates to important things helps me plot overall.

The next bits are going to have minor spoilers, so just scroll pass quick if you want to avoid them.
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Okay, for those of you who don't care about spoilers.... here's a "for instance" of that world-events-help-me-plot concept, using the aforementioned Gabriel line launch as an example. Gabe has decided that he likes Marinette's portfolio and wants to meet with her, but he is too busy with his launch - and.... other... priorities - to be able to meet with her until the new line is on the market. I now know that this leaves Marinette in a sort of limbo for a week, which gives her more than enough time to overthink things. Which also means it is the perfect time for some MariChat goodness as Chat Noir tries to calm her down, and remind her that she's a fantastic designer.

And that's just one example.

I have two full notebook pages working out the timeframe of OatS, and I'm not even to the midpoint of my story yet.

Obviously don't read if you don't want spoilers, but this should
give you a rough idea of what my week looked like.

I also jotted down more on my PT and OatS calendar-stylized timeline. Problem is, the days in OatS are going to be a bit more eventful, and I'm having a hard time scribbling everything into the little squares I made for PT....

OatS events aren't in stone quite yet,
so they're written in pencil...

 Now that I have a more solidified timeline - or at least the makings of one - I'm starting to slot in those pre-written scenes. So while I was re-reading them to try to re-find my story I also tried to polish them so they had better continuity between them.

As of right now I have two tweaked scenes: the MariChat ones. I'm still not entirely sure the lead-in to them, but I'm loving the interactions between Marinette and Chat Noir, especially since one is told through Adrien's POV and the other is told through Marinette's. Watching Adrien's reaction to Marinette through his eyes, and then later through hers, was so much fun to play with. Trying to show Marinette's confusion while in Adrien's POV, and then trying to show Adrien's angst through Marinette's POV was also so much fun. These poor dense little beans have no clue what is going on with the other, and it's beautiful.

So I think I need to just stay here for a week or so. I need to focus on the MariChat goodness, and sprinkle in some Marinette confusion with Adrien acting more like Chat Noir. I actually thought of the opening to one of those scenes this morning. It's not terribly much, but it's something:

"Marinette! Hey, Marinette, wait up!" Adrien waved down to me from outside Miss Bustier's classroom on the second floor. He jogged to the top of the stairs, but about half way down he was blocked by the crowd of students descending to the school's courtyard.

While we were waiting for Adrien to catch up with us, Alya playfully elbowed me and stifled a chuckle.

"Whatever he wants seems pretty urgent," she teased.

I blushed. It sounded like she was implying that there was something romantic there, but I knew that couldn't be true. Adrien only saw me as a friend. He only ever saw me as a friend, and that's all he'll ever see me as.

The crowd was heading down the stairs too slow for Adrien apparently, because with about a quarter of the way to go he just hurdled the banister. With his legs dangling along the outside, he slid the rest of the way down, pushing off about a meter from the bottom. Landing gracefully on his feet, he jogged over to us.

"Did- did he just-" Alya wagged her head between me and Adrien.

It was fine that she couldn't finish her question, because I wouldn't have been able to register it anyway. Adrien. Adrien Agreste. The reserved and refined love of my life. He just slid down the stair's banister. At school. Who else have I seen do something like that? My mind was short circuiting.

It needs some polishing, but, hey, that's another 241 words I didn't have yesterday! And now I'm just 99 words shy of 5,000.

More importantly, though, is that it's the start - or rather middle - of another scene! This would be the chapter when we first see Adrien trying to act more like his Chat Noir half while he's in civilian form, and particularly around Marinette. A way of maybe getting a bead of how she feels about his more goofy and carefree self when Paris isn't in danger.

Writing Adrien with his Chat Noir personality is going to be so much fun. Having Marinette's brain implode as she's trying to connect the dots will be equally fun.

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OKAY! PEEPS WHO WANTED TO AVOID SPOILERS! IT'S SAFE TO READ AGAIN!

I think I need fun again. I'll go back to angst and akuma attacks later.

I also need to figure out a soundtrack for my story. That stuff really does help me. It drowns out the rest of the world - which has been majorly distracting me this past week - and gets me into the proper mindset. While I was working on the PT edits the first half of the year I frequently listened to songs on repeat to get me in the proper mood. I even stated which ones I was using here in my blog, if you wanted to go back and check that out.

I don't really have anything set up for OatS though, which could be a small part of the problem.

The writing sprints last week were the largest chunk of my writing thus far. In part that could be because I was in a distraction-free room for two hours with the sole purpose of writing. In part, it could be because I finally fell into a flow towards the end of the session. After threading together disjointed scenes from my "follow your muse" hopping the first few days, I was able to write a pretty steady stream of words; doubling the amount I had written thus far that day.

I know part of that final word dump was because I built off the energy of the music I was listening to. In particular, I absorbed a whole bunch of energy bouncing back and forth between two songs:

POP/STAR by K/DA

(sung by Miyeon and Soyeon from the Korean band (G)I-dle,

and American singers Madison Beer, and Jaira Burns)

I've been pretty much full-on obsessed with this video. This K-pop skin set for the League of Legends champions Ahri, Akali, Kai'Sa, and Evelynn has an amazing promotional video. The music has energy, great vocals, and is catchy as hell. But the skin designs are beautiful; my personal favorite is Akali, the one with the glow-in-the-dark spray paint who raps. And the animation is so gorgeously smooth with awesome choreography, intriguing visuals, and the exact feel of an actual K-Pop video. It's just such a high-energy piece that gets me pumped up every time.

The other video I had on loop?

Shatter Me by Lindsey Stirling, feat Lzzy Hale

Lindsey Stirling? Lzzy Hale from Halestorm? Tons of energy with an electric violin? I mean, yes!? It has a melancholy to it, and a push pass defeat. It is just the perfect "fighting an akuma" song for me. There's angst there, but there's also determination. Just like Ladybug and Chat Noir trying to win the day, just like the victimized villain being brainwashed by Hawk Moth's akuma, and just like me ignoring how few words I have written and instead focusing on how many I CAN write before the month is out. We all need that push.

Also... Lzzy Hale's voice has always been inspiring to me. I mean, there's also this song for one of My Girls...

I Get Off by Halestorm

Willow anyone? The girl's teenage hormones made her come up with some.... interesting illusions. I think in a much more literal sense the song also very much fits Jolene.

Both a bit of a far cry from what I'm doing right now with sweet and innocent Marinette and Adrien!

Oh, and who could forget this other Halestorm song... a bit of a dedication from Willow to Devon... whoops. Sorry, son.

It's Not You by Halestorm

Now part of me wants to make an AMV of this song using Ladybug to Chat Noir. The song is a bit mature and a bit more aggressive than the actual characterizations of these two, but it would be fun to go a little hard with their characters.

Especially with lines like "someone who has raise the bar" and "you've probably never been shot down before" both hinting at Chat Noir's Adrien side in opposing and ironic ways.

After a quick search on YouTube I did find one AMV done to this song, but it's just a bunch of quick shots of Marinette, Adrien, and Chloe... but done in such a way that I have no clue what's going on. Is Adrien singing the song to Chloe about Marinette? Is it to Marinette about Chloe? Is it Chloe to Adrien, suggesting a love for Marinette? Or vice versa? I mean with the shippers in this fandom any of the above could be accurate.... And to make things more confusing, Lila is randomly thrown in at the end???

Nope. I need to find an editing program and make one myself.

Buuut, that's for Future Me. Present Me has to stop being distracted by side projects, and answering emails, and trying to play catch-up on Tumblr.... which is a bit of a Sisyphean task since my drafts - i.e. read in more depth and/or reblog later - are now way over 700 posts deep, and I seem to add more than I empty out....

I need to lock myself down and just WRITE, DANG-IT!

So that's my goal this week. Not to catch up to the 21,666 words I should have by the close of the day today. Although, if I literally did nothing but sit and write all day today I could totally hit 16000+ words. My goal isn't even to write the 1667 words that make up the daily NaNo word goal. My goal isn't going to be to write the 11,669 words this week that is the standard weekly NaNo word goal.

Nope. None of that. My goal this week is to write SOMETHING. Something this week that makes me not embarrassed about my progress. My goal is to write enough that I'll proudly put that NaNo calendar up on this blog again.

I can't do that until I stop writing here though. Until next week then!

GO VOTE

Before doing anything else, I want to remind my fellow Americans that today - assuming you're reading this when it came out on Tuesday - is Election Day. If you haven't voted yet, go out and do that now. Seriously. Stop reading. Go! This blog will still be here when you're done.

Heck, depending on how long the polling lines are, bring me with you and read while you're queuing. Actually, no. Don't do that. Instead, brush up on your ballot if you haven't done so yet. Again, there are tons of resources online, but the one I've seen most frequently is vote411.org.

Also remember that your employer is LEGALLY OBLIGATED to give you adequate time to vote, so be sure to check in to double check on your rights. Don't delay though... if you're home in your PJs until your shift starts at 5pm you've had more than adequate time to vote. So... again... GO! NOW! Don't wait!

Also also... Uber and Lyft are joining forces to help get people to and from polling locations. Check to see if these services are in your area, and if they are, check to see if you qualify for a discounted or even FREE ride to the polls!

Today is not just "Thank god, now the political ads, phone calls, and mailers will stop" day. Today is your chance to affect this country. Today is your chance to make sure your voice is heard. And for the jaded and disenfranchised Millennials and Gen Zers - assuming you're 18+, are there 18+ Gen Zers? I don't know where the generation cut-off is - THIS IS OUR YEAR! If we go out and vote we are the MAJORITY of the population right now. We CAN affect change if we want it. We CAN form the country we want, not just one we inherit from previous generations.

Finally, just a friendly reminder to DOUBLE CHECK your ballot before you officially cast it. You may have slipped up and colored in/pressed/punched out the wrong candidate. You could have that glorious "hanging chad" situation. There could have been a glitch in the system which voted for out-of-party candidates even if you voted Straight Ticket. I've seen reports of that happening before, and apparently it's a known glitch that no one is bothering to fix???? So, yes. No matter how you vote, double check that you ARE voting for who you think you are.

Okay, I'll pack up my soap box now...

Instead, I.... guess.... I'll talk about NaNo? I kind of don't want to though.

I was all geared up for it for the past few months. I even had notes upon notes upon notes to try to help me get organized for this month.

Then November hits and....

My current total is 3504

I don't know why, but I just keep either avoiding writing when I have down time at work - instead obsessively playing one of my mobile games - or I run out of time to write outside of work. Sunday was my day off. Hubby was at work for about 8hrs. I had the whole day to write and catch up. I had every intention of doing that. Heck, the NY Giants had a bye-week, so it's not like I really had any of the football games to watch.

Instead, I did just that: watch football. Specifically the Miami Dolphins game. Mostly because that's Hubby's team and that way I could let him know how it was going; assuming it was going well.

I also cleaned. The apartment needed that badly. I scrubbed down the bathroom, and tried desperately to vacuum every inch of carpet I could. Mostly because Hubby had a neat idea for a Halloween pumpkin this year after seeing a kit for it: a unicorn.

I even painted the horn with glow-in-the-dark paint.

The problem though... well... take a look.

Yup. Hubby thought "wouldn't it be awesome if the unicorn sparkled with glitter!?"

Hubby really likes glitter.

He also got glitter all over our front porch as he tried to apply it to the pumpkin...

So sparkly!

Of course, we had to bring the pumpkin inside to let everything finish drying since it was raining all week.... which meant carrying said pumpkin - and the subsequent tracking from the front porch inside by more than just Hubby and I - brought these Crafting Herpes inside. I am fighting the best I can, but all I can hope for is that our apartment goes into remission. Lord knows we'll have another outbreak though. I mean, I'm STILL finding needles from our fake Christmas tree.... soooooo....

Anyway, my point being, I spent Sunday cleaning instead of catching up on my writing. By about 9pm I just waved the white flag and called it my one allotted "day off." Ignoring that I really shouldn't have taken it if I was so far behind my goal....

For those who might not be able to see since the font in that NaNo calendar is so small in the above image, I should have been at 6668 words on the 4th. Actually, using the 5-days-a-week goal, I should have been at 9088 words. Both should have been easy. I've written spur-of-the-moment one-shot stories longer!

Instead, I sat at 2650 words. Ooof. And I didn't even add another 900 yesterday. Just barely over 3500 words after five days!? Such a rough, ROUGH, slow start.

My only real consolations are:

1. At least I AM writing. That's something, I guess. And I still have the rest of the month to catch up. I mean, I lost my work TWICE last year and STILL managed to win. I have time. I'm not out yet.
2. Ali Luke, for various reasons, was only able to write about 30 words that first week, and then another 1700+ yesterday, so she was only at about 1800 when she called it a night on Monday. She's written novels before. She's PUBLISHED novels before. She's a PROFESSIONAL WRITER. If she can have a slow-start as well, then maybe it's not so bad. Life gets in the way, you just need to know how to overcome it and persevere.

You want to know who's kicking butt with NaNo though? Cyhyr. She has CLASSES and a child and she wasn't in the proper mindset for writing for a long time. Yet she fell in love with her story and her characters and she is killing it!

She blew past 2,000 words on the FIRST DAY. She has slowed down a bit since, and had to skip writing on Saturday for various reasons, but she's still at 5948 words. Sure, that's still technically behind where one should be to hit 50,000 words in 30 days, but she's not aiming for word count. She's aiming for x-hours of writing, and she's hitting that goal pretty well based on her posts.

We also have a NaNo game going where we post the last line we wrote for that day, without any context. Hers have been a lot more interesting than mine:

Day 1: "I just want to go home."
Day 2: "We fight together or not at all."
Day 4: "The daemons can be understood."

Comparatively, here's mine:

Day 1: It was the same thing since the day I became Chat Noir: mine and Ladybug's Miraculous jewels.
Day 2: I didn't wait for Chat Noir to react, I was out the door, on the patio, and throwing my yo-yo at the terrace house across the street.
Day 3: "They probably saw the video and are going to come rescue me soon.”

We're both slackers and haven't yet posted what our final line yesterday was.

We did also get ChibiSunnie unofficially involved as well. She's too busy to actually participate in NaNoWriMo, but she did have a plot bunny that wouldn't leave her alone, and so she decided to share her last line of the day with us as well: "We might be getting older in different stages, but we can still figure out getting old together."

Not quite content with just this little game, Cy decided she was going to go an extra mile on her Tumblr. A way to get us excited for her writing, and a way for her to stay excited as she picked out bits of her writing she loved. Each day that she writes, she posts her top three parts; mostly just a line or two. She also shares something she particularly loved about that day's writing. Something like working with a character she particularly loves or getting to learn more about an OC she created.

You can check out her NaNo posts on her Tumblr. She really does have some particularly intriguing lines. I'm not even in the Final Fantasy fandom, let alone FF XV specifically, and yet I can't wait for her to have the story polished enough that she's cool with me reading it.

Now to just get MYSELF that excited about my writing.

Knives from the Scott Pilgrim comic books
by Bryan Lee O'Malley

I really don't know what it is with this story. I have wanted to write it for over a year, and yet I'm completely stalling now. I just don't know what I want to do with it, really. I think. I'm not sure, really.

I've been sort of all over the place with it. Prior to NaNo starting I wrote three or four scenes that I really liked and was really driven to write. I'll be splicing them into the full story once I catch up with where I think they'd fit. Then, November 1st I just couldn't figure out how to start this darn story, so I just kind of jumped in half way through what I pictured as the first chapter. I still wasn't really feeling it - hence the small word count - so I jumped again to chapter two. I then thought I knew how I wanted to start the story, so November 2nd I backtracked and wrote until I caught up to the main drama of that first chapter. Yesterday I finally caught up to the part of chapter 1 I started on the 1st, and moved a touch past it. I know we're "not supposed" to edit, but I did slightly. I grabbed this paragraph and that sentence and the phrase over there that I wanted to shift as I wrote. Then I interjected some narration now that I knew more about the scene, and I deleted sentences that no longer made sense. It was quick edits, and I MOSTLY kept it the same - I think I deleted maybe 50 words? - so I'll call it fair game....

I just keep trying to follow what I'm inspired to write... I just... haven't been though.

I think I miiiiiight have figured out this morning why that is.

Before I get to that, I want to share something else real quick. I swear it's relevant.

At about 10pm last night, while I was scrolling through Tumblr, I saw an amusing ask:

A little context: Buggachat has, on occasion, been asked if she knew of a particular fanfic, or where to find it. Generally it's something like "I've been trying to find a fic where Marinette is a kleptomaniac. I know it was on AO3 somewhere, but I can't seem to find it again. Q^Q You wouldn't happen to know the name of it, would you?"

Bug would then either be like "Oh yeah! I know that story!" and drop a link - both answering the ask and promoting the story to everyone who follows her blog - or she'd pitch the question to her followers: "No, sorry, I've never heard of it, but it sounds amazing! If anyone knows the story Anon is asking about please drop a link." This way the word is again out there, and she's sort of crowd sourcing the question to try to find the story for the asker.

For whatever reason, most of the asks Bug has been posting lately seem to be these "please help me find this story" asks. Which is where the above Ask comes from. It's probably a joke, but that would be fantastic if Anon accidentally called someone out.

Anyway, thinking that would have indeed been a brilliant marketing strategy, I decided to reblog Buggachat's ask with a bit added to the bottom:

I still feel like it was a bit of a ballsy move on my part, hence "shameless plug" being my last hashtag. However, it seemed to have gotten some attention. Before working on this blog - so, about 8:30am - I checked in on Tumblr and saw this:

Otakuprincess15 is obviously talking about me since I'm tagged in their comment. And what a comment as well! I gushed. I thanked them. Amazing in all caps!?

Hacker Girl Facebook sticker
by Birdman, Inc

However, I'd also like to point out Didntwantanaccount right below Otakuprincess15. As far as I could tell, I'm the only one who commented about my story in an attempt to promote it. The original ask and answer said nothing about a particular story, and the previous comments didn't have anything to do with promoting their stories either. So, I think it's reasonable to assume “Peeping Tomcat” is the only story referenced in this post. So I'm pretty positive Didntwantanaccount was also complimenting my story!!!! EEEE. It's awesome to see people talk about it and compliment it.

And I think that's the source of my mental block.

I'm in this weird writing limbo where I worry my stuff isn't good enough because it's not very popular, but then I read my reviews and see people both promoting my work and commenting about how great it is. And both halves of this limbo keeps me stuck.

If I'm on that low swing of "what's the point? I'm not writing anything people want to read anyway" then I have no motivation to write. However, if I'm on the upswing of "It looks like everyone who's read my story loves it! This is amazing!" then I become terrified that lightning won't strike twice.

I might be there right now. That may be why nothing seems nearly as exciting with "One and the Same" as it was with "Peeping Tomcat." I'm frozen in the worry that OatS won't be as good. That people who enjoyed PT will be disappointed in OatS; that they'll see me as a sort of one-hit-wonder; that PT was a fluke.

A discussion with a friend pretty much solidified this fear. Hubby and I both LOVE reading Rick Riordan, if you couldn't tell before simply by following this blog. Now, I get that not everyone is going to like his writing. I don't like the writing of a lot of authors my friends love. It's just personal taste, so we weren't offended when the friend told us he wasn't a fan. He really enjoyed "Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief," but he felt like "Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters" was just a rehash of the first book. When he saw a similar formula used yet again in "Percy Jackson and the Titan's Curse" he gave up before he hit the half-way point. He then decided to read the Kane Chronicles to see if a different series from the same author would be better.

All three of us agreed that the Kane Chronicles stories are the worst of Riordan's works. We're sorry for any who love these the most, but all three of us found the main characters bland and the "transcription of an audio recording" narration concept a bit jarring.

But that's the thing. Our friend enjoyed the first book he read from the author, but felt the others in the series were too similar and didn't enjoy them as much. He then chose a different narration styling by the author and HATED it to the point that he gave up completely on Riordan.

What if that happens to me? I already have so few readers, what if OatS feels too much like a rehashing of PT? What if the bounce back and forth between first-person Marinette and first-person Adrien is too much of a narration shift and also turns people away?

I feel like all of these fears are completely unwarranted, but it's still lingering there. And I think that's the block I have to work through. I just.... I don't know what I need to do, but I need to find a way to fall in love with this story again.

I need to get as excited by what I discover while writing as Cyhyr does.

You'd think watching the Miraculous season 2 finale would help with that. It just got me more excited about the show, but not exactly my story.

Add in the fact that I failed for the first time with my resolution to write something new every month. I couldn't figure out the time to write last week - obviously; check out my November count again.

So, here's that swing back into my writing funk. I was doing so well too! I don't know what it is about being 34, but I've noticed a distinct drop in my reading and writing since my birthday. I just got so overwhelmed with everything that week, and I don't think I've ever had the mental vacation to catch up. I really REALLY need to just take a week in December to be at home and let my mind recharge; get my home cleaned up again. I was going to take a week in November, but my manager put the schedule together faster than I could decide which week to take.

Here's to this week going better. I do have writing sprints tonight at my writing group anyway. Maybe it will be just what I need.

In the meantime, here's one last reminder to my American readers....