Having a Gaming Moment

 Aww, yeah. This year is going swimmingly already.

Generated by Bitmoji

I'm not gonna bother sugarcoating it. I missed last week's blog because I was feeling lazy. Simple as that. I was distracting myself with other things and didn't really put in the effort. Sorry about that. I mean, I know just about all of you understand and will tell me "do what you need to for your mental health; don't worry about it." I still feel like I failed somehow though, but I'm gonna pre-emptively thank you all for the kind thoughts.

Now, for a little world building here. Where Hubby and I live is semi-rural. We have a local grocery store and Walmart, and a few specialty shops such as a car dealership, mechanic, one-screen movie theater, gaming store, furniture store, and crafting store. All other things, however, we more-or-less need to drive 30-45min in any given direction to get to. Hubby had saved up enough to finally get a gaming computer that he had been eying up for a while, and we both had the day off, so we made a plan to drive to the city for his computer. Now, it's less than an hour commute. Once upon a time, I used to commute roughly a half-hour to get to and from work. It really shouldn't seem that long of a drive. However, when you're in a semi-rural area, the only really sufficient way to get anywhere is by highway. And the highway landscape up here is ENDLESS MOUNTAINS AND, ironically, SAMENESS. 

See, where I grew up, the highway drove past smaller cities and bigger towns and amusement parks and STUPIDLY HUGE hospitals; there was always something new to see, and since you were driving past so much development it didn't FEEL like a long drive. When I visited family in the next state over, it was more of the same. Constant on ramps and off ramps and developments on either side of the highway. It may be a bit obnoxious when you think about it environmentally, but it also was a great way to feel like you were actually going somewhere at a pretty quick pace. Here, however, when all you have is mostly empty highway with the occasional car here and there, lined with trees and more trees and even more trees, and the same mountain range slowly rolling along each side of the highway, you just feel like you're on the same stretch of road for HOURS even though it's only been about 20min. I used to enjoy driving. Now, I just get so tired when doing so.

Generated by Bitmoji

Enough world building. My point is that, whenever Hubby and I leave town for any reason, we try to make as much of a day of it as possible to justify the "long" drive. So, Hubby and I created a list of things we wanted to hit up while also getting him his computer, as well as other things at Best Buy to look at while we were there.

Side note: we tried Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen for the first time that day. Started off with the classic chicken sandwiches, as well as a 6pk of the biscuits, and a 6pk of the beignets. RIP KFC. You've got nothing on Popeye's now that I've tried that! And those biscuits!?

Generated by Bitmoji

So, yeah. Hubby and I slept in last Tuesday, instead of my intended "get up as per usual, write up my blog post, and get ready to head out at noon". We did head out at noon, as we had intended, but with no blog post to be had. I knew exactly what I wanted to write too, but I just... didn't want to leave my bed.

Generated by Bitmoji

We then spent quite a few hours in the city going through our long list; we always build it up and then go to the cities once we have at least a couple hours' worth of things to do. Drove back into town, and then hit up Walmart for a couple of other things we needed to restock after our quarantine. Next was laundry and grocery shopping. It was still early enough in the evening by the time all of our errands were done; about 7 or so. I just didn't have the energy to bother with the blog at that point. 

I could have posted a late update on my next day off, Friday, but I ended up spending most of that day either cleaning up the apartment or playing video games.

Speaking of, that was kinda-sorta what I wanted to talk about last Tuesday.

So, after paying our monthly bills, Hubby and I noticed we had some spare cash. Yes, we could put it towards our savings for things like a house of our own, but it also doesn't hurt to splurge on yourself every now and again, right? Plus, the whole point of these stimulus checks in the US is to stimulate the economy if the money isn't needed for bills, right? So, Hubby focused on his gaming computer. I turned my eyes to a bunch of digital games Nintendo had in its eShop. Mostly indie games that were ported over. Yeah, Nintendo doesn't need my money, nor does Best Buy, I'm sure, but it's something new to try to help keep our morale up, and I ended up spending less than $100, so... meh.

Well, Sunday, January 17, since I get out of work at 4pm, and I hadn't updated Perfect Doesn't Need to be Perfect in a while, I had every intention of working on that story. Instead, I ended up vaguely watching the NFL playoffs while playing this game finally:

Yup. FINALLY got on the hype train of this game. FINALLY got to experience the joy of being a complete agent of chaos as I screwed around with a bunch of residents in a little (presumably?) UK hamlet. Instead of working on chapter 6 of my story - ya know, "six geese a layin'" - I, kinda ironically, spent Sunday evening running around as a goose.

I had so much fun when I got to the back gardens (back yards in US speak) section of the game. Especially because I got to make myself all pretty with a ribbon around my neck.

It's actually a red ribbon in this part of the game, but, down by the first level with the gardener,
you can find a blue ribbon and carry it to the artist's back yard to get the blue bow instead.

Look at how elegant I look! Reminds me of my childhood. My mom had our little house completely decked out in Country Goose. We had white geese with blue bows like this EVERYWHERE: the plates, the wallpaper, random decorative knickknacks, and we had a goose cookie jar.

I worked SOOOOO hard to keep that ribbon on. Whenever I would get caught, and the ribbon was ripped off, I would get it put back on before trying to finish my tasks. Probably kept me about 5x longer to finish this level because I refused to do anything without my blue ribbon on.

Only for it to be programmed into the game that I'd always loose the ribbon my first play-through as I progressed to the next level!

Not cool, game!

Don't worry, I figured out how to get the ribbon back on before I finished the game. 

Not even a week later, and I tore through the full To Do list for the game. All I have left is the "speed-run" to-do list. That's on hold though, because I have a couple other games I had tried out.

Like I said, I saw I had some spare cash, and Nintendo was having one of its many MANY sales on its digital content. So I scooped up a handful of games to try out.

While not a canonical Legend of Zelda game. I knew I had to try out Cadence of Hyrule. Much like how Hyrule Warriors is a crossover between Dynasty Warriors and Legend of Zelda, Cadence of Hyrule is a crossover between LoZ and Crypt of the NecroDancer. It is a Roguelike rhythm action game in a style probably resembling A Link to the Past the most. It also has a very original LoZ feel, but the fact that there is some linear gameplay (you have to defeat A before you can proceed to B) is why it doesn't COMPLETELY match the open gameplay of the original game.

Anyway, I wasn't sure if I'd like this game for a couple of reasons. 

1. I've heard mixed reviews, but I also know how harsh LoZ "fanboys" are. I was still afraid this would be about par with Tri Force Heroes or Four Swords/Four Swords Adventures; not a bad game, but super gimmicky, not much by way of story, and not much replay value.
2. I am not the best at rhythm games. One of the reasons I never did well when I tried out band in middle school. I just can't keep count, I guess? Or I'll get slightly off-count and stay on count with that; never truly finding the proper beat? I'm usually off-count just EEEEEEEVER so slightly in these types of games; too soon or juuuust barely too late. I can confirm this is still very much the case.
3. It's a roguelike game. I already get irritated when I can't figure out how to play through a game without dying a lot. If I can't figure out a LoZ boss after one or two deaths, I get cranky: "I've played video games pretty much my whole life, why do I still suck so hard at them!?" So giving me a game like Dark Souls or Cuphead where the play is notoriously difficult? I'd rage-quit FAST. The last time I played anything remotely close to a roguelike game was back with old-school Nintendo or arcade games where there was no save file. You did the full-run with either just your one life or with the lives you built up, or you start from scratch. Even Sega Genesis games where, aside from health and lives, nothing transferred over from one level to the next. I still remember how proud I was when I FINALLY beat the Escape from the Cave of Wonders level in Aladdin. All-in-all, I've been afraid to try out any roguelike games even with this background in these old-school systems.

Luckily, I saw Outside Xtra stream Spelunky 2 a few months back, and I saw how irritating, and yet fun(?) a roguelike game could be. I also saw how rewarding FINALLY getting to the end of a 3-or-4-level run could be, and how getting to that end point DOES advance the game so it gets a liiiiiiittle easier to do those early runs fully as you progress. Plus, if you KNOW that you're going to die a lot, and it's not necessarily because you're a "bad gamer" it could just be a poor random generated dungeon or loot drop, it doesn't make you feel so inadequate??? 

Then, over on OutsideXbox, they uploaded a video of Mike playing a demo of the game Going Under. Another roguelike game where it's a very tongue-in-cheek corporate dungeon crawler. It was sponsored content. It did its job. Hubby found the video intriguing enough, and the game was on eShop sale, so he picked it up. I watched him play a few levels and was interested as well, especially when I saw that even he would die easily if the dungeon was poorly generated - via bad loot or the store was at the start of the run when your character doesn't have money, etc.

I've also seen SO. MUCH. HYPE. for the game Hades. Plus, I used to play the developer's other game Bastion back when they had a free demo on Google Chrome, so I knew I really liked their style. This made me really REALLY want to try out this game, but it was another roguelike. I needed to see if I could even handle this gaming sub-genre.

So, with the goal to a) add another LoZ-themed game to my repertoire, b) try out Going Under myself, and c) see if I can handle roguelike games enough to warrant buying Hades, I picked up the Cadence of Hyrule demo. Yay for demos! It's actually a pretty decent size, especially since I do indeed suck at both roguelike games and rhythm games. It was irritating at first, and I was almost glad I didn't drop the dough to buy the full game, but after sleeping on my irritation and going back to the game the next day with new determination, I actually got pretty far. Haven't finished the demo yet, but I at least got to the final dungeon. PROGRESS!

Generated by Bitmoji

With Cadence of Hyrule, I learned that the Hades tagline of "One more time" is indeed the cry of roguelike gamers. I just got so addicted to "ooh! I got so close that time! Okay. Once more!"

I got even MORE addicted to it when I bought and played Going Under myself. Mostly because it's more rogue-lite, I think? Every dungeon dive, even if you fail miserably, advances the game a little. The NPCs will have new dialogue after every run. The skills you equip will slowly improve with each run. You may fail at getting to the dungeon boss, let alone defeating him, but you may finish an NPC's side-quest, which advances your relationship with them, and THAT could give you the edge you need to finish the dungeon.

Plus, this game is just SUUUUUCH a great social commentary on toxic capitalism, you WANT to do "one more run" just to see what new dialogue you get.

I mean....

Who hasn't lived this life?

This. This hits hard.

Preachin' to the choir, indeed.

Contract workers beware.

I'm sure everyone has experienced at least one boss like this, if not EVERY boss.

Ah, the joys of having your work be valued by your employer... Oh, wait.

Yeeeeaaaaaah, this game gets REAL real at points. That's for sure. 

So, the main world-build of this game is that you have this city that pretty much sprang up around this one company Cubicle. Cubicle is (almost?) entirely automated, and loves to back up-and-coming start-up companies (think the show Shark Tank). The problem is, you quickly find out that the start-up companies that Cubicle backs have a huge spike in success before completely tanking it; vanishing without a trace. You also realize that the dungeons you are diving through to help keep the monsters in the basement "under control" are the remains of these start-ups. And guess what, you're now an unpaid intern at yet ANOTHER start-up that Cubicle just backed: F'zzle Soda. There's shady things clearly afoot at Cublicle that you slowly piece together with the dialogue you get after each dive.

Cubicle is also clearly a thinly-vailed jab at Amazon.

Okay, maybe it's not even thinly-vailed.... Also, yes, that is a slide from the 2nd floor office down to the main floor of the building (the purple object kind of upper middle of the picture), as well as a water feature just off to the upper left of the picture. I'm assuming those are in reference to the "fun work environment" Amazon was/is known for.

VEEEERY tongue-in-cheek - I didn't even point out the failed start-ups that you dungeon crawl through - and I adore this game. It also adds to my new-found love of roguelike/rogue-lite games. So, next time I have some spare funds again, I'm scooping up Hades. (Also, a former coworker of mine has been majorly championing the game The Binding of Isaac, so that's another for my list.)

Okay, so, I've been spending the past week playing roguelike games and being a jerky goose instead of updating this blog, or working on my story? Well, I've also been absorbing some seriously emotional gaming content by way of Ori and the Blind Forest. Once again, I have Outside Xtra to blame for this. Way back in May, Ellen talked about how much she loved the Ori sequel Ori and the Will of the Wisps. Again, because of such games as Cuphead, I had seen a trend of indie games purposefully being harder games to give a sort of throwback to old-school arcade and 1st generation consoles. So, even though I loved the design of Ori and the Blind Forest, I was afraid to actually buy it. But after hearing Ellen talk about how moving the story was for Will of the Wisps I knew I had to give it a whirl. Especially when I saw the game in the Nintendo eShop. Thankfully, the original - Blind Forest - was also in the eShop, and had a demo option. YAY AGAIN FOR DEMOS. 

Seriously, game demos have convinced me to buy SOOOO many games over the past year or so. If you have a game; have a free demo or "showcase" so potential players can see if they even like the gameplay. You'll probably catch a lot more players that way, because people like me, who would rather shy away from a popular game because we're not sure we'll enjoy it enough to justify the money spent, are soooooo much more likely to go "okay, no. I'm hooked. Let's buy this thing." Why most games don't have the first level as a demo is beyond me. It's not like you'd need to do extra programming....

Anyway, as I said in that last paragraph, I was HOOKED. Right in the opening of Ori and the Blind Forest you get hit with The Feels almost on par with the opening of the Pixar movie Up. I have since bought the full game. I also could have continued where I left off in the demo - another fun feature that most demos have if they're the first level of the game - but I deleted the file and started completely fresh, just to experience that opening again. I haven't gotten further than the first level thus far, but I've also been juggling between a half-dozen games.

Because we can't forget that I'm still faithfully playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons daily, as well as slowly progressing through Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity. 

Dear lord. I haven't played video games this frequently since I was in, like, middle school or high school or something!

Sooooo, yeah. I've been bouncing between AC:NH, Age of Calamity, Cadence of Hyrule, Going Under, Untitled Goose Game, and Ori. I've also been trying to keep up with my French lessons over on Duolingo daily, and splice in some Japanese refreshers to not forget the basics I learned in 2019.

Oh, and also work... I've been working too....

I know, especially since I promised myself I'd have this Christmas-themed story done before February, that I REALLY should be focusing on that. But it's been sooooooooo long since I've really been able to just enjoy video games? Mostly because, no offense to my husband, but HE'S usually playing video games, and we only had the one TV. So if HE'S playing, I can't be. But with the Switch? I can play whenever, even if he's already on the TV playing something or watching something. We also have the 2nd TV in the bedroom now with my Switch dock, so I could go play on a TV myself if I really wanted to. I'm having SUUUUCH a gamer moment, and, sadly, it's kind of shoved the writing to the side for a minute.

This is why I don't get people who are/were bored during quarantine/lockdown or the people who work part-time jobs during retirement, not because they need the money, but because they're bored at home. I mean, if that's you, cool. Everyone is wired differently. But I just don't understand it. I have about a dozen different hobbies that I can cycle through at any given time, and each hobby can fill a day by itself. Add in normal Adulting chores, and I don't think I could ever be bored again.

I mean, I DO still get bored on occasion, but that's more a stress thing where I can't really focus on anything and find joy in what I'm doing. Once I'm out of that funk? No boredom. 

Now after AAAALLLLLL of that massive stuff said, I DID manage to update two more chapters on PDNTBP. (I know, burying the lead a bit here.)

Last Monday, a day later than intended, I did indeed post chapters 6 and 7 of my story. I had every intension last week to comment about the story and Untitled Goose Game and call it a day.

Anyway, if you want to know what chaos happens to poor Chat Noir and Ladybug with "six geese a layin'" and "seven swans a swimmin'" you can check out my latest chapters.

"Chapter 6"

On FanFiction       On ArchiveOfOurOwn       On DeviantArt       On Tumblr

"Chapter 7"

On FanFiction       On ArchiveOfOurOwn       On DeviantArt       On Tumblr

I only have a week to go before my deadline. I still need to finish editing down the MASSIVE chapter 8 for this story. I also have chapters 9 through 12 to write! I need to get my butt in gear!

So, looks like my gaming moment is on pause as I try to pick up the pace with writing again. Of course, I'm also going to make sure that "picking up the pace" in my writing doesn't lessen the quality. It's a fun balance.

We'll see how this goes. I have a random Saturday off as well, so, worse comes to worst, I guess I'm spending Saturday finishing my story. Keep a look out for those final 5 chapters! 

Generated by Bitmoji

A Grand Return

 Oh, dear Lord! It's been nearly a month since I was last able to write a blog post. Let's see if I even remember how. 

Tanuki Facebook sticker
by Yanare Ku

First and foremost, I have missed this blog and I have missed you, dear readers, so much. I nearly cried when I realized I FINALLY had a Tuesday off and could work on this again. It's just been a rough month with this continued kooky work schedule, throwing my whole work/life balance all sorts of out-of-whack. Writing truly is in my blood, and while I've always known I'm just not myself if I'm not writing, I don't think I've fully realized how much this blog and my weekly updates - even if I'm seemingly talking about nothing - have truly meant to me as well. And hoo-boy do I have a lot to catch up on!

While this is the most recent of things, I figured talking about getting unexpected Feels about something seemingly done for fun - such as writing these blog posts - is a good transition to also chat about how I've spent my last couple of days.

Namely, what I've downloaded over the weekend:

I downloaded the original Newgrounds Game Jam 2015 version
as well as the full Wrong Dimension version

So, I was vaguely aware of a simple, free, 15-min or so game titled There Is No Game in which the premise is that the game's programming is actively trying to convince you that what you're running isn't actually a game, and tries to prevent you from doing any sort of playing in said non-game. It was a cool concept, and I MIIIIIIIGHT have tried it out on Newgrounds at some point??? But it's been ages since I've gone onto that site, so I couldn't really remember.

Then I saw MatPat play the first chapter of the full game There Is No Game: Wrong Dimension on GTLive last week, and I was intrigued.

Yes, I know there are people out there that take issue with MatPat, and I do see some shades of arrogance in his presentation across all four of his channels - Game Theory, Film Theory, GTLive, and now Food Theory - but the overall content is still entertaining, so... meh. Point is, I saw him playing this game, thought it looked fun, I had some spare cash, and the game cost less than $20, so I treated myself this weekend.

I also treated myself to this, but I'll get to that in a bit.

I have become one of the herd, and I am not ashamed.

So, back to TING:WD and how that relates back to my earlier statement about caring for things unexpectedly.

The premise of this extended game by Draw Me A Pixel is exactly like the Jam Session one: you start up the program and said program, via voice over, tries to convince you that there is in fact no game and you should probably close the program down. Through a series of various mouse click interactions - that is literally the only game mechanic: interact via your mouse - you work your way through puzzles. The game is super meta and has a lot of great tongue-in-cheek, satirical commentary on the gaming industry. The companionship you get from the program - simply called Game - is fantastic as "he" berates and teases you, but also begs you for help as the "non-game" continues. There are six chapters and an epilogue to work your way through, and as you progress an actual story begins to unfold. By the end of the second chapter I was intrigued, by the end of the third chapter I was emotionally invested, by the end of the fourth chapter I could not stop until I got to the conclusion.

THIS DANG (NON-)GAME HAD ME TEARING UP AND LEGIT GASPING AT VARIOUS STORY TWISTS! Like, I won't tell you really anything about the game because I don't want to ruin it for you, but I highly suggest finding a way of getting your hands on a copy yourself. The puzzles aren't that difficult if you're not one for puzzlers. Some do require some unconventional thinking, and I have had to use the Hints section quite a bit towards the end (only to discover I was doing the right thing I just wasn't getting the timing quite right; as is almost always the case with me and puzzle games), but there ARE hints throughout the game should you get stuck, and there doesn't seem to be any punishment for using them, such as losing points or having to use in-game currency to unlock the hints or having Game mock you for using them, etc. I also didn't see any Steam achievements for not using a single hint, so there really isn't anything besides your own stubborn pride keeping you from using those helpful hints throughout the game (er... non-game). Game himself also gives you plenty of verbal clues to try to nudge you in the right direction, so you may not even need those hint boxes.

All-in-all, not only was the game (er... non-game) mechanics unique and so much fun, but Pascal Cammisotto, the creator of the original TING for Jam as well as the writer/director/voice for Game in the full version, did such a fantastic job at the actual writing and content creation for this (non-)game. Such a touching story, and great lore, and fantastic commentary on the gaming industry, along with fantastic voice acting. With but a voice, Game became a fully fleshed-out character that I grew so attached to, and I've happily opened the game back up simply to be re-greeted (a bit hostilely) by his voice, play a few puzzles to try to unlock a few more achievements, and then I'll smile as I quit and he shouts "Don't forget to uninstall me!" as the game closes. My entire playthrough was a little over 5hrs - mostly because of those dang timing issues I had; the game probably is only about 4 or so hrs long for other people - but Game has become a beloved character for me.

So little can say so much, and, as a long-winded writer myself, I am forever in awe of those who can weave such a touching tale within barely any time with their audience.

I am over here hoping to learn that TING:WD has done so well since its launch on August 6th that Draw Me A Pixel can continue their great work, and Cammisotto, et. al., can continue the tale they've started with this game.

In the meantime, I guess I'll just keep playing this fun (non-)game as I study Cammisotto's storytelling prowess, as well as chuckle at the characters constantly confusing Game's French accent with a Russian one.

Aaaaaaand, speaking of the French, I have exciting news, but I'll circle back to that. Next up: Among Us.

A big trend for me this year, thanks to the pandemic shutdown back in March, is to finally join in on the pastime of watching Let's Plays and gaming streams. In the past I would shrug this form of entertainment off. It's fine if others enjoyed it, but I was always kind of "meh" to it. If I was going to take the time to watch someone else play a game I was interested in, why didn't I just use that time to play the game myself? Or, I didn't want to watch streams or Let's Plays because I had every intention of playing that game and didn't want spoilers. Or I could just watch Hubby play the game, so why watch strangers do it? Especially since a lot of the earlier streamers/Let's Play-ers... I found weren't all that entertaining with it.

I mean, I've seen some pretty bad streamers, you guys. Ones that only vaguely respond to the live chat, so if you aren't actively reading the chat or you were watching the VOD, you were confused as to what the player was responding to. Ones that didn't lower the game audio enough and so the game audio fought with the player's commentary. Ones where the player virtually had no commentary, and so you were literally just watching the gameplay as if you were the one playing, but with no control over how the game progressed. Ones where the players barely had the game audio up at all - which is fine if they were going to do a running commentary and didn't want to fight the game audio - but then proceeded to either NOT talk, leaving a lot of dead air to wade through, or when they would react to the game audio that the audience can't hear. So on and so forth.

I just... I couldn't get into this new entertainment trend.

However, my go-to YouTube channels I love to gush about - Outside Xbox, OutsideXtra, and, to a lesser and newer extent, Dicebreaker - are actually super good at gaming streams. They are entertainers first and foremost and make their streams this whole experience. They make sure to read off the chat comments (usually paid-for super chats, but whatever) before responding to them. Their running commentary is akin to sports announcers. They have the gaming audio only slightly softer than their own if the game audio is significant to the gameplay, such as music cues or monster screams in jump-scare horror games. I could gush further, but this blog post isn't supposed to be a promotion for them per se, so I'll just conclude by saying that their videos are so well done they could be podcasts and people would still more-or-less understand what is going on within the video game. They're just super good.

So I've jumped onto the "watch video game streams" bandwagon, and this has proven equally an excellent and terrible idea. Mostly because I'll watch these guys play a game and, much like what I did with MatPat and TING:WD, I'll be intrigued enough that I'll buy the game to play it myself. Yay, free advertisement for said games!

Generated by Bitmoji

It was Luke's adorable streams on OutsideXtra that solidified for me that, yes, I should get Animal Crossing: New Horizons. It was Mike's chill stream on Outside Xbox that got me to buy House Flipper on Steam. And Jane's chaotic streams on Outside Xbox that convinced me that Two Point Hospital was worth buying on BOTH Steam and Switch, so that I can play whenever, even if they aren't linked accounts.

Well, the Oxboxtra crew struck again. They finally jumped on the Among Us trend this month. They, along with members of Dicebreaker and Eurogamer, have been having 9-person games. They stream for about 2hrs and one member from each channel is in charge of streaming for said channel, which means after watching for 2hrs you can rewatch from the other 3 channels' perspectives. It's particularly fun when you already know that the streamer from x-channel was the impostor for y-runs or was a victim in z-runs, and you can either watch their killing spree or laugh at their ghost-chat conversations and get their thoughts on the matter - things you wouldn't be able to get otherwise because of them staying muted.

Watching these streams have been great fun as we try to figure out who the impostor is ourselves, using only the same limited information as the first streamer we ride along with; usually Luke from OutsideXtra. It's also fantastic to have moments like this, when not only do YOU, the viewer sometimes see things the players don't, but you can also afford to watch the reactions of the other players when THEY see things the others don't. 

Hubby has always been a big fan of these impostor-among-us/social deduction type games, such as Werewolf, Hail Hydra, or Secret Hitler. So seeing a video game version with the added component of being able to sabotage or complete tasks to win really piqued his interest. Add in watching how much fun everyone is having as well as his own mental calculations as to how he'd win as either the Impostor or Crewmate, and he was HOOKED.

I picked him up from work this past Saturday and was instantly greeted with "Check out what's free to download on the phone, and is only $2 to get rid of ads!" Goob's birthday was this past week, so we had him pop in for a birthday gift, and Dragnime swung by for his normal anime night get-together. So Hubby, seeing that we now had four people - the minimum to play Among Us - decreed that the rest of us needed to download it as well. We were all intrigued by the game anyway and so we were easy to manipulate into complying.

Sadly, a 4-player game does not last long; naturally. The plus side was that we were able to get a few rounds in before Goob had to head out and I got disconnected from the server. We had fun though, and got a taste for the gameplay. I do have to say that I wasn't much of a fan of playing on my phone. My thumbs are too thick and I either have to deal with clunky controlling of my character or my fingers getting in the way of my view of potential Impostors.

In other words: I got killed a lot.

The game was, like, $5 on Steam, and I already had enough fun to not mind spending the extra money on the game; maybe get a bit more over to the developers. They deserved it. I would be able to see easier on the larger screen, and I had better control using the A,S,W,D keys and/or mouse. We just needed more people to play. We tried Sunday to no avail, but we were able to get a couple more games in last night.

I know Hubby will be itching to get a few rounds in just about every night, and it could be a fun way to unwind after frustrating days at work. I could just focus on simple tasks that need to be done, as well as yelling for others to get theirs done without being considered a jerk for doing so. I could go on a lovely killing spree to relieve stress. I could shout and accuse and try to flush out liars, assuming I'm still alive to do so. 

I mean, seriously. Hubby was the Impostor, like, 7 out of 9 games we played last night and I was almost always the first to be killed! Naturally he was therefore the one I killed when it was my turn to be the Impostor.

We truly love each other.

Generated by Bitmoji

Anyway, that's probably how I'm going to be spending at least an hour or two any night we can get enough people to join. I know that also means I'm playing another game instead of writing, but it's a fun outlet for when my mind isn't to the point of coming up with plot myself. It's also exercising my deductive reasoning and improv - especially when I'm the Impostor and trying to bluff my way through the voting - so it might be a good mental workout to help with all the stress. Maybe that's what I need to clear the cobwebs and get me officially back on the right track.

Another thing that's been a big help, though, especially with the whole Impostor Syndrome issue I talked about last time, is the amount of support and love I've been getting lately by way of my writings.

I've had a bunch of you making sure to tell me, either in the comments here or via Facebook messenger or in person, that I am far from an impostor.... er.... with regards to Impostor Syndrome. I'm still sometimes an Impostor when playing Among Us.

Generated by
Bitmoji

Anyway, thank you, all, for the love and support. I know I'll still have to battle that constant doubt, especially since my skill with fanfiction writing is a bit of a double-edged sword. On the one hand, others find my work so good because of how well I can get in the mind of the canon writers and create something new that feels so much like canon. I can parrot fantastically, and this is a skill I'd love to figure out how to turn into a career, if I'm honest. On the other hand, however, being so good at parroting does leave me wondering if I'm only good if I piggy-back off of others; that I can't think of anything original and any of my success is because I'm "tricking" people by being such a good mimic.

This duality will always exist, I fear, but it IS such a comfort to have so many of you in my corner cheering me on.

Speaking of, I'm not entirely sure why, but I've had one HECK of an uptick in readership, faves, kudos, follows, and comments on the story I wrote for Taurus Pixie as a Christmas gift in 2018: Woven Heartstrings.

I'm seeing the name of this fic pop up in my email notifications nearly daily. It's amazing, but I'm also so confused by it. An older story, Christmas themed, and not one promoted on any of my Tumblr posts I've been seeing get more attention lately. The only explanation I was able to figure out might be this one from one of the commenters this week:

 JuliaFC: My French friend reviewed a little while back, she really loved your story, she's (and I'm) a true Marichat and Adrien fan so your story really touched some cords.

I'm not entirely sure who this friend was, but they are so sweet to have reviewed my story and recommended it. If you are randomly that person, I want to thank you so very very much.

I'm just dumbfounded that non-native English readers are not only finding my works, but are also reading them. I have such a trash mind for learning other languages, so to be fluent enough (or able to interpret Google Translate well enough) to read a 32,000+ word story is so amazing to me.

Speaking of French readers - and relying on Google Translate - one of those new reviews I've received just blew my mind!

 EtoileLeadSama: Salut. Je viens de passer l'après-midi à lire ton histoire. Elle est absolument magnifique. Un vrai petit bijou. Elle réchauffe le coeur comme l'un des fameux chocolats chauds de Marinette. Merci beaucoup pour ce petit moment de bonheur tout doux. J'aime beaucoup la complicité de Chat Noir et Marinette. Tes idées de cadeaux sont absolument géniales. J'ai vraiment beaucoup aimé chaque chapitre. Félicitations. Je vais enregistrer cette sublime histoire dans mes favoris pour pouvoir la relire à loisir. Bon courage pour la suite. Bisous miraculeux

If Google Translate is to be believed, that comment should translate to:

Hi. I just spent the afternoon reading your story. [This] is absolutely gorgeous. A real gem. It warms the heart like one of Marinette's famous hot chocolates. Thank you very much for this sweet moment of happiness. I really like the bond between Chat Noir and Marinette. Your gift ideas are absolutely brilliant. I really liked each chapter. Congratulations. I will save this sublime story in my favorites so that I can read it again at my leisure. Good luck for the future. Miraculous kisses

I- I just.... I got a non-English review! I've- I've never received a non-English review before! I- I still cannot form the words to express how much this milestone means to me. The fact that someone clearly isn't very comfortable writing in English but still felt compelled to leave me something; still enjoyed my story to read it, even when it isn't in their native tongue. 

Stuff like this has really been lifting my spirits, so thank you, sweet, glorious, dear readers. Thank you for indulging me and putting up with my breakdowns and showing me such kindness.

I am so blessed!

I want to go on more about the Miraculous Ladybug special and new projects that Pixie is up to and how I've had a weird uptick on my Tumblr as well, but it's already nearly 6pm and this post is so long. So I'll resist, and hopefully I can get more into what I've been doing the past month in next week's post.

Much love to you all!

Generated by Bitmoji

(P.S. - if you're American, here's your belated reminder to double check if you still have time to mail in ballots, check for OFFICIAL drop-off boxes, find out if there's still early-voting options in your area, and make a plan if you decide to or have to vote in person.)

Hitting the Birthday Reset Button

Generated by Bitmoji

Happy early birthday to me!

I'll just say it, being 35 SUCKED. It was an age I was always looking towards as a goal post for a LOT of things. I was both scared and excited to reach that age. And then this past year?

Of course, there have been highlights within the past year, but for the most part? Meh.

I'm still in an apartment instead of having my own home, which also means still no pets. Boooo. Hubby and I are still childless, and with the stress of handling this pandemic, that's probably not going to change any time soon. I am NOT happy with where I am with my weight. My knee has been loudly clicking, and I've had a touch of a limp while going up/down stairs, so I've been avoiding Zumba for nearly 2 months now to try to not agitate my knee further. While I have still managed to build up a nest egg of savings, it's not nearly enough for any sort of home down payment, and it's barely enough to handle any sort of MAJOR medical issue or the need to buy a new car if something massive happens to the still-relatively-new car I currently own. Still, for normal day-to-day - buying groceries or picking out birthday presents or paying back family loans or making sure all the bills are paid on time or the occasional splurge on a Kickstarter project - and for MINOR health issues or car repairs, we're good. So.... there's that.

Aside from the house and family concerns, the biggest hit this past year has been to my writing.

It seemed to have petered off throughout the second half of last year, and I've barely touched any writing at all this year; not really putting any fictional words to paper since mid-March. Part of that has coincided with one of the roughest Writing Funks I've had since college. In truth, part of the reason I ran away from being on Tumblr for more than a few minutes each day since the pandemic hit the United States is because I just can't handle seeing the productivity that seems to have sprung out of everyone else, and also because it hurts to see the love other writers are getting, while knowing I'm still kinda lost in obscurity.

Now, let's throw in my normal disclaimer here: By NO means am I saying the other authors don't deserve the love. In fact, I may very well be one of those readers pouring out the admiration for those stories and writers. My self-doubts and disappointment in my "lack of love" by no way reflects what these other writers do or do not deserve. Their success does not create nor cause my own shortcomings. These are completely separate, and I hope those authors continue getting the love they have rightfully earned.

I'll also throw in my "I know I'm a good writer. I have only received positive reviews of my stories, and I've had a handful of readers who've become true cheerleaders, and even grew to become friends, so I know my writing IS loved. It just doesn't get FOUND all that frequently, and doesn't become viral successes like these other stories."

I know this.

But I think that's part of the problem? I KNOW I'm a good writer. Sure, I still have places where I need to grow. All authors do. I am far from perfect in my writing. Still. I KNOW my stories are good and that people enjoy them.

So why AREN'T they the stories that go viral, or are included in recommendation lists on popular fandom Tumblr blogs? Why doesn't my work get fanart or inspire people to draw out my scenes as comics with the artist shouting "You guys all have to go read this story!"? Why don't I get Tumblr Asks where people just gush about how amazing my work is?

Whenever I see all of that on the blogs of my friends or mutuals or people I follow, I'm SO proud of them. I'm incredibly happy for them, because I can imagine how much of a high that is.

But why not me?

I know. I know that part of it is because I post so infrequently. I'm not one of the prolific writers that seems to post something new - be it a short story, a drabble, a new chapter, etc - every day. I'm not drawing people in with a constant updating schedule. That was part of the reason each year's goal is to post something new at least once a month.

I also know that part of the problem is that I'm not much of a content creator on Tumblr, Instagram, or Twitter. Those other authors that blow up? They're also artists who build up a huge following with their art, and their fans just naturally shift to read their writing, and their personal fandom grows from there. Some of those artists have drawn comics; proving they can write at least a short story with a visual media, so people trust they can transition further into fully literary storytelling. Or they aren't artists per se, but they still post amusing thoughts about the fandom at least once a day, if not more frequently. They come up with goofy scenarios or write little drabbles online of silly AUs or What Ifs or Inaccurate Quotes. People can see and know how creative they are. They are constantly coming up with content and building up a fanbase around that.

I KNOW all of this. That's not me though. I'm not a skilled artist. Most of the artwork I do takes me HOURS just to manipulate a picture in GIMP or something. I'm also not that quickly creative. By no means am I an improvisationalist. I tend to take the show/story - be it Miraculous Ladybug or Fruits Basket or Hey! Arnold or Percy Jackson - so much at face value that I don't even bother to think "Yeah, but what if..." There are such small portions of my favorite stories that leave me thinking of theories that I could jump off of. Instead, I try to fill in gaps, like I did with my story Prescription for Love for the ML episode "Backwarder." There wasn't really a "what if" scenario or anything. It was more "We know the start point and the end point, so what happened in the middle?"

This is probably why one of the top comments my stories get is something to the effect of "Wow. It was like reading an episode."

I just.... I stick SUPER close to canon, and maybe that's one of my popularity issues?

Either way, disappearing for 4 months probably doesn't help.

Generated by Bitmoji

Point is, age 35 kinda sucked. So... maybe 36 will be better?

Well, I'm not 36 yet, but I am on vacation this week leading into my birthday, and I have kind of got a nice running start at the year.

First of all, it's a bit delayed, but apologies for missing last week again, but in order for everyone to still get their 2 days off last week before I started my vacation, I ended up working last Tuesday. I once again neglected to write my blog post early on Monday, and I didn't really have much to talk about anyway, so I just kind of let the week go.

But back to this week. With my downtime, I managed to read the latest chapter of Dressed to Confess by zenmisery. Still need to go back and read a few other chapters/stories that have been sitting in my queue for about a month now, but at least I got one out of the way, right?

Anyway, well, this next part is going to have some spoilers to Zen's story, so I'll throw up my spoiler warning.

Generated by Bitmoji

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Okay, so to recap the story thus far: Chat Noir was feeling lonely, so he started visiting Marinette. They are now, like, seniors in high school or something, and so, at a Christmas party, Marinette is giving one last-ditch effort to tell Adrien how she feels. If he rejects her then that's it. She's moving on. To try to prep for the confession, and to make sure she looks as beautiful as she possibly can, she's spending most of December creating a custom and detailed dress to confess in. Chat Noir has been keeping her company each night as she creates the dress and stresses about her confession, but he has no clue he's doing all of this for his civilian self. He thinks she's going to confess to Luka, and finds it insane that the two haven't already started dating. At the same time, he realizes he should probably make a similar decision about Ladybug: it's been years, and so he should decide if it's time to finally let her go and try to move on.

He's actually started to move on already, and realizes he's fallen for Marinette, but he's not sure what to do with that information. He's declared for years that he's in love with Ladybug, and doesn't want to give that up. He also doesn't want to confess his feelings to Marinette and complicate things when she's working so hard to confess to her crush, whom he thinks is anyone BUT Adrien.

Meanwhile, Marinette is realizing that she's starting to fall for Chat Noir. She's in the middle of this grand confession plan for Adrien, only to realize she has feelings for someone else? Just as she's debating putting a full-stop to the whole thing and just accept Chat Noir's feelings as Ladybug, Adrien starts unintentionally flirting and comforting her in such a way that resparks her feelings for him, confusing her more.

The last chapter ended with the two - Marinette and Chat Noir - meeting up, still very confused about their feelings and what to do with them, and having a make-out session as they tried to figure out where their hearts were.

The most-recent chapter starts with Chat Noir waking up in Marinette's bed the next morning. Nothing sexual happened between them, mostly because he couldn't take off the costume without revealing who he was; it being magically worn and all. Adrien mentally admitted it was probably for the best because Marinette going along with the make-out session and not saying "no" didn't also mean she was saying "yes" to something as intimate as sex. He wasn't sure even he was ready for that, let alone if Marinette was. So he was grateful his inability to strip out of his costume forced them to slow down and not blindly follow their hormones into something they might later regret.

It was brilliantly written, however, it did get me thinking about that trope in the fandom. Namely, that a lot of adult writers will age up Marinette and Adrien so that MariChat can have more intimate relations without it being creepy. Alongside that is the trope that they CAN'T do anything intimate because Chat Noir is stuck in his costume. Granted, the same could play out with Ladybug being stuck in hers, but for some reason the sexual advancement of the Love Square relationship almost always seems to stick with MariChat or Adrienette. I guess Marinette isn't sexually hormonal when she's in superhero form, but Adrien is?????

Anyway, my point being, I thought about that trope, and of course my mind thought of how to get around it. How could Marinette let Chat Noir know she's ready for that level of intimacy, and how could Chat Noir let her know that he was as well? Well, I mean, outside of the obvious "they talk about it with each other," but that's not sexy, so we'll ignore that one.... Also, once they've decided they were both ready, how would they be able to actually have sex while still hiding Chat Noir's identity?

The simple answer came from the episode "Frighteningale": A Chat Noir Mask. Doi. Marinette could provide Chat Noir with a replica of his mask and a condom. That would be her way of signalling she's ready, and the ball would then be in his court to decide he was also ready by de-powering in private so she can't see who he is, and donning the gifts she left him.

Another scenario I thought of was towards the middle of the Dressed to Confess chapter. YEAH! I actually thought of TWO narrative scenarios! Go figure, right?

Anyway, Marinette and Chat Noir decide they will go back to just being friends until after Marinette has confessed. Then, if things go poorly and "he" doesn't accept Marinette's feelings, she and Chat Noir would try out their own relationship. Part of that, however, would mean Marinette would have to learn who Chat Noir was. He's nervous about accepting Marinette's suggestion because he knows Ladybug doesn't want anyone to know who the superheroes are. Marinette is also struggling because, as Ladybug, she knows it will be fine, but doesn't know how to let Chat Noir know this without also revealing who she is. She also wonders if she SHOULD let him know if she's going to know who he is.

In the end, Marinette offers to design an outfit for Chat Noir that matches the dress she's been working on. That way when she sees a guy wearing her suit she knows it's Chat Noir. He also agrees to stay hidden from her so she doesn't know who he is until after she's potentially rejected by her crush. In truth, I cannot WAIT for this part of the story: Marinette trying desperately to find Adrien in order to confess to him, meanwhile he's doing everything he can to avoid Marinette so she doesn't prematurely find out he's Chat Noir.

Anyway, the second scenario I thought of was a similar reveal, but instead of Marinette making a full outfit, Chat Noir instead brings Marinette a piece of clothing - a suit jacket, or a tie, or something like that - for her to embroider a special symbol on. It could be hidden on the back of the tie or the inside lining of the jacket, that way the symbol is only seen when revealed. Chat Noir knows he'll interact with Marinette as Adrien, and this way he can walk right by her while wearing the generic article of clothing without rising suspicion, but then show Marinette the bit of embroidery she added to reveal himself. Not quite as fun as what Zen came up with, but I still like the idea.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

OKAY! SPOILERS OVER NOW! YOU CAN START READING AGAIN IF YOU SKIPPED THE LAST PART!

If you did skip any of that stuff, know the long-and-short is that the chapter actually got me kinda-sorta running two different narrative scenarios in my head! One with regards to a kinda smutty MariChat scenario - even though there wasn't any sex in Zen's story - and another with an identity reveal via fashion accessory. I'll most likely never actually write them out, but it DID get me thinking in narratives, so... YAY!

It was the first bit of narrative creativity - excluding my headcanoning about my Animal Crossing villagers - I've done in, like, 4 months. So, thank you, Zen!

To also aid in my attempt to jumpstart my writing, as well as help me create a prop I could potentially use in stories down the line, Hubby got me my secondary birthday gift early.

His main one was the Switch and copy of Animal Crossing: New Horizons back in March, but he still wanted to gift me something this week. So he got me a copy of the PDF rule book for Sigils in the Dark by Kurt Potts and this super gorgeous hand-bound journal.

The game Sigils in the Dark is a solo RPG. The premise is that you are someone with "a need, a deep burning need that drives you." You get to decide what that need is, and then you hear whispers in the darkness telling you "I can help you..."

The game itself has you playing as this future dark mage, chasing after those faint whispers just barely out of sensory reach; learning sigils and testing them to try to achieve your ultimate goal, slowly going insane in the process as you become more and more willing to pay higher and higher sacrifices to learn the spell you need to succeed.

The game ends when you will it. Does it stop because the price of the spell is too much for the mage to be willing to pay? Does it end because the mage died in the process of trying to complete the spell? Did the mage succeed and no longer needs to add to the grimoire? Is the journal itself just, plain, full? Conceivably, the game can continue even beyond most of those points as long as there are still blank pages: a new mage has found the grimoire and falls down the same rabbit hole of looking for power; adding their own spells to the back of the journal.

Either way, once the game is deemed "complete" the end result is a physical grimoire prop to use for future RPGs or fantasy stories. I've had the journal for a few days now, but I'm waiting until my actual birthday to get started. That way it feels more like a birthday gift, as opposed to just a "this seems fun; here ya go" kind of gift Hubby and I tend to give to each other.

Maybe the epic tale of the darkness and insanity my mage finds herself in will grace this blog in the upcoming weeks/months.

Yay, potential writing!

Hubby is even debating getting his own journal so he can create a grimoire alongside me.

Also, after following a train of YouTube videos, I stumbled upon one by Dicebreaker that talks about 5 solo RPGs. In truth, I watched to see if Sigils in the Dark made the list. It didn't, but instead I learned about solo RPG Ex Novo by Martin Nerurkar and Konstantinos Dimopoulos. The premise of that game is to roll on tables provided in the game book as a means to slowly create and develop a city. The rolls provide you with guidance as to the resources available to the budding town, and the population density. Then, as you continue rolling, your town evolves. Buildings are built up; torn down; destroyed by natural disasters or raiding/war; expanded, etc. Population increases, decreases, shifts districts, etc. Natural resources are used up; new ones are discovered, and so on and so forth. By the time you're done playing, you have a city map, a culture, and an extensive history for the city and its people.

This is EXACTLY what I need to help me get back on track with the overall world build for both "Glitches" and Gyateara. So, yeah, I bought that up this morning, actually.

I hope with these new solo games - although, Hubby wants in on Ex Novo as well, so either he'll help me build some of my cities or we'll build up cities separately but at the same time - and life starting to resemble the Before Times again with regards to my daily schedule, and this week-long Reset Button of a stay-cation, I can get back into writing properly. Slowly dip my toes back into the water as it were.

Now, one of the reasons Hubby and I even heard of Dicebreaker and started watching some of their videos in the first place was because of the co-star and creator Johnny Chiodini, originally known to us as the DM of the Oxventure D&D sessions. In that regards, about a week or so ago Luke from Outside Xtra was on Dicebreaker in a one-on-one session with Johnny as he taught Luke how to become a DM. In truth, Johnny's advice and instruction had helpful generic rules on how to be a good Game Master in general, regardless of the RPG chosen. The advice was welcomed for even someone like me, who is mildly terrified about the prospect of DMing, mostly because I do generally suck at improv and thinking quickly on my feet as a means of pushing the story forward. Let alone having the skill to kind of corral the players so they stay to the main plotline. So, if nothing else, the video was entertaining because I like Johnny and Luke as people and it feels like watching friends of mine chat, which is nice. A bit delusional, but still nice. However, I did also enjoy the video because it helped me believe I could DM again if I were ever inspired to come up with a campaign plotline.

All of that aside, and the reason I'm even really discussing this video on my "writing" blog, one of the best things that came out of the video, for me, was Johnny's advice to write a quest backwards: figure out the Big Bad Boss Battle, then work your way back to come up with the key plot points the session has to hit in order to direct everyone to the boss, as well as prepare them to (hopefully) survive the battle. Finish up by spending the most time on the story hook at the beginning of the session. Get those players involved and wanting to follow the story you outlined.

This works equally well for stories in general, the more I thought about it. Stephen King has notably stated that he writes his stories backwards; know where he wants the story to end, and backtrack to figure out how the characters got there.

I need to try that. Or, more accurately, what I told Hubby upon hearing Johnny's advise: "Plot backwards, write forwards." One of the other bits of advice Johnny had was to have the main plot points be "floating" and "pliable." That way you can shift them to where needed. For instance, in the example Johnny gave, the notes he had for the session included the Oxventurers being rescued from an attack, and the rescuing NPC would explain the McGuffin to them. That way the Oxventurers would know who the Big Bad is and how to stop the attacks from happening anymore. Instead, the Oxventurers sniffed out that there was something shady going on with a character and investigated him. Since he was no longer a surprise villain, Johnny had to rework the information. Luckily, it wasn't crucial that the NPC explained the McGuffin, and Johnny was able to rework the information so the characters instead stumbled upon the plot on their own. It made for much more compelling "show; don't tell" storytelling as well.

This is why I reword as "Plot backwards; write forwards" because you never really know where the characters are going to take the story, and instead of forcing them to fit the narrative of effects equals cause, it's better to know where you want to end and the main plot points you need to hit, and then shift them accordingly as the characters take the story and make it their own.

That's generally how I do write, but I think I need to give One and the Same another go with this method. I also need to reread Peeping Tomcat as well as what I have thus far for OatS. I've also mentally retooled the closing of OatS I have written thus far.

I can do this. I know I can. I won't let the crappiness of 35 or 2020 stop me! I'm gonna power through to make 36 amazing! I'll make it my big Come Back year.

Generated by Bitstrips

Generated by Bitstrips

Generated by Bitstrips

(I couldn't decide which one of these I wanted to go with, so, screw it, use all 3!)

On that high note, I want to wish a happy 5th birthday to my nephew. Can't wait to see you later today! (Don't worry, my area is cleared for small family gatherings now)

Generated by Bitmoji

Oh, one last thing since I mildly mentioned COVID-19 there anyway. After MONTHS of it being stuck "in transit" overseas, Hubby and I FINALLY got our "Wash Your Dang Hands" shirts!

Editing my Bitmoji head onto my photos is such a pain. This is my aforementioned "artistic skill" of spending HOURS on GIMP editing photos.... Regardless, I don't like showing my actual face with my LycoRogue handle. So here we are....

The shirt was a fundraiser back in, like, April for the NHS. It was created by OutsideXbox and Outside Xtra, using the signature closing line OutsideXbox host Jane Douglas would use for her Two Point Hospital streams. It was so much fun wearing it to go grocery shopping and on a Walmart run yesterday.

So.... yeah... remember to wash your dang hands and wear a mask and keep a six-foot/two-meter distance.

Take care everyone, and I hope this week brings as many highs for you as I hope it brings for me.

Generated by Bitmoji