August Burnout (Oh, and Bats)

Est. Read Time: 14min 

Hello, and happy August, everyone! I know, it's not exactly MUCH earlier in the month than I have been publishing. HOWEVER! It is also NOT nearly midnight when I published. So... improvement! Yay!

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After three months in a row of using the Mali font (I did not intend to do that. I forgot to switch to this font last month), I'm back to trying out Kalam to see how I feel about it. After getting semi-used to the Mali font, how does everyone feel about this one? I kind of feel like I'm reading a comic strip, but I also don't necessarily hate that??? Does it miss the "look more mature and 'professional'" mark I've been trying to hit by switching off of the Coming Soon font??? I haven't had a comment on any of my blog posts since January, so I'm not sure how these fonts are hitting. I'd love the input.

Anyway, as for August thus far. Well....

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My one coworker is a biker, and hit up the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in Sturgis, South Dakota at the start of the month. She left on the 3rd and got back on the 13th. There's only three employees at the place where I work: me, the biker coworker, and our manager (there's more employees within the company, but they work at other locations). As I mentioned last month, due to the small staff, if one of us is on vacation the other two are working straight through it with no days off. It sucks, but we literally don't have the staff to handle vacations any other way without one of us working a multi-level store by ourselves for 8hrs. Plus, the company as a whole is small enough that normal labor laws - which requires at least one day off every Sunday thru Saturday work week - don't exactly apply. So, biker-coworker being gone for 11 days means Manager and I are working those days straight through. Plus, my manager had August 2nd off leading into Biker's vacation. Which means I had the joy of not only working twelve days straight - after working 8 days straight to cover Manager's vacation, and only getting 2 days of recovery before this next long stretch - but I also got to work with Biker on her last day before a long vacation. Clearly, despite promising the contrary, she was fully in Vacation Mode^TM that last day: focused more on last minute prep work for her flight early the next morning.

Needless to say, by the time my next day off came around on the 14th I just needed to veg. I have been back to my normal work schedule since, which is nice. However, Manager's daughter is expecting her 2nd kid soon, and Manager wants to take at least 5 days off once she does. That way she (Manager) can go watch her toddler grandson for that first week and help around the house while Mom and Dad recover and bond with the new baby. Which means Biker and I will again have a semi-long work week to cover. Also, since it's contingent on the birth of Manager's 2nd grandchild, there isn't really MUCH forewarning as to WHEN this long stretch is going to happen. We just know it's going to be within the next 5 weeks.

Weeeeee.

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On top of all of that, I've also had Projects^TM at work the past week or so.

Normally, one of the fringe benefits of my job - and one of the reasons having to work 12 days straight isn't TERRIBLE - is that there is a LOT of down time where I can more-or-less do whatever. I can sit and read. I can flip through my socials. My manager likes to play Candy Crush until her phone battery practically dies. Back when I wasn't bogged down with writer's block, I would use this downtime to write. Heck, I'm using some of it right now to work on this blog post!

While I was able to still use some of this downtime earlier this month to work on creative endeavors, which I'll touch upon later, this past week has not left me with much of any downtime at all. If I'm not helping with a customer I am working on spreadsheets or graphic design projects or double checking website accuracy or scanning and retagging the store products or.... herding a bat out of our store......

Yeah. That happened this past Saturday. Randomly, at about 11am, I saw this black blur dash past the office doors. I thought it was the shadow of a pigeon flying past the store's front door, so I didn't really think much of it until a customer alerted me of the rogue bat zipping around trying to find an exit. After the customers that I was ringing up left, I grabbed some Kevlar gardening gloves and a bucket with lid from the maintenance man (he was more inclined to try to kill it, so that's why I took over bat-escort duty). I then set to catch the bat and usher it outside. The thing was QUICK. Just zooming through the first floor at full speed as the poor panicked thing tried to find an escape. Our ceilings are pretty high up, and the bat stayed pretty close to them, so even at its lowest swoop it was still a good foot or two above me. There was just no way I was catching this thing unless it landed.

I tried calling animal control, but they aren't open on the weekends and the outgoing message didn't give a number to call for off-hours assistance. Hoping the bat had worn itself out - which it did - I looked for it again. It had found a dark room to hang from the ceiling within and catch its breath. Problem is, as soon as I noticed where the bat was - which was still WAY too high up for me to reach - I triggered the motion sensor, turning the light on in the room. This instantly startled the bat and it zipped around in a panic again. It shot right past my shoulder as it left the room to try to get away again, but it was too fast for me to even register that it was coming at me. There was no way I would have moved fast enough to have caught it with my bucket.

Thankfully, as it exited the formerly darkened room, it passed the front door. Playing doorman now, I held the door open and called out to it, hoping to catch its attention enough to direct it towards the exit. Kept a minute or two, and the bat near-missing the door about half-a-dozen times, but it finally figured it out and dashed out of the store without fuss. Well, aside from the pigeons that roost above our front door. All of them were like, "Who the heck is this jerk?" as the bat sped past all of their nests in an attempt to find a place to finally go back to sleep. But the bat was their problem now.

Hubby had started up a rewatch of the 2004 cartoon The Batman last week, so I guess it is oddly fitting that this is when I'd have a bat encounter. Funny that it's the 2nd bat encounter - where I was the one who dealt with the bat - in just over a month, however.

Side note: Jason Marsden voices the villain Firefly in The Batman. I have always pictured Marsden using a Brooklyn accent as the voice of X-Future character Devon St. James. Marsden's energy coupled with the energy of The Scout from Team Fortress 2 just makes me think of Devon every time. The fact that Firefly and Devon are both fire users - Devon can manipulate it via his powers and Firefly uses flamethrowers as weapons - coupled with Marsden voicing this incarnation just makes me picture the character as Devon every time. It's been quite amusing. Anyway! Getting back to my main blog update.....

Outside of the excitement of chasing down a bat, work has been a drudge. My brain is fried. No thoughts. Total burnout. Every time I tried to work on something creative I just got radio static. I spent a lot of my downtime either aimlessly scrolling through my socials or doing mindless tasks I've been meaning to do for a while now. Mostly with regards to picture organizing.

Back when I started up Animal Crossing: New Horizons I realized that there would be parts of this game - by design - that I wouldn't be able to replay/relive. All other games that I had played (with the exception of The Sims), I could go back, replay the games, and re-experience scenes/dialogue/action sequences/etc. ACNH? Once I've experienced it I've experienced it and then it was gone. Just like in real life (to an extent). That's when I started taking screenshots and the 30sec screen recordings the Switch allows. I was starting to compile them into folders on my computer for me to go back and reflect on how my island used to be; used to look. I could also relive conversations I had with my villagers. Just record as much of my game-island life as I could to look back on later. Some of the villager conversations took longer than 30sec for me to go through, though, and it was clunky to watch half of the convo via one video and half via another. So I started taking screenshots of the recordings and splicing those together into a sort of conversation comic strip. It's also how I've showcased some of these conversations before in this blog.

Ooof. Terrible timing there, Maddie. XD

Deciding to create these "comic strips" of various ACNH scenes that I encountered was truly when things got tedious. I still want to do it though. A lot of effort up front for a nice gift for my Future Self to enjoy later.

It did mean, though, that I couldn't just transfer the images and videos from my Switch to my computer and tuck them in their little folders. Done and done. No. I had turned this endeavor into Projects^TM!

I did the same thing with the free self-care app I downloaded shy of 18months ago. I'm actually surprised it kept me this long to talk about it. It's called Finch: Self Care Pet.

The concept of the app is that you hatch a finch that you can name (and choose a pronoun for between he/she/they). Then you take care of your little "birb" (as the app calls them) by taking care of yourself. The more you use the app for your own self-care the more your birb grows and builds their own personality. As they age you can pick out feather colors to customize them. You can also buy dyes in the in-app shop (using in-app currency that you earn via logging in self-care). Once you have unlocked a color for your birb, you can easily switch between them via your finch's closet. No need to pay in-app currency each time you want to switch up your birb's look. You can also buy clothing and accessories for them to showcase their personalities even further. They also have their own little pet that can accompany them: your app's micro-pet. Your birb can earn a new micro-pet each month by logging in, as well as by completing certain goals you set for yourself. You can also switch through which micro-pet you want to accompany your birb.

I can't recall anymore if I came up with the name or if I went with the one randomly generated when I hatched her, but this is my birb Poki and her little cloud micro-pet Cotton:

If you're interested in joining the app,
you can use my Friend Code:
XWMEYF4KXA

Once your birb ages into adulthood (via you interacting with the app), they can start traveling to real-world destinations and learn about the culture there. Poki is currently traversing the Sonoran Desert (mostly within Arizona, USA). She's also travelled to Tokyo, Japan; Bali, Indonesia; Maui, Hawaii (USA); Paris, France; Taipei, Taiwan; and safaried through the Serengeti, Tanzania.

The key feature of the app is your birb going on daily adventures to explore the world and learn from it. It could be something as simple as the easiest way to warm up when it's cold outside, or trying out a new food, or discovering a new song or TV series. It could be something about the area they're exploring, such as how many people live in Tokyo, or what's up with the many faces carved into the Pont Neuf in Paris, or visiting the Tanah Lot Temple in Bali, etc. It could be a thought experiment, such as a preference to be able to rewind time and relive the past vs being able to see the future, or which super power would you like to have, or what element would you like to bend if you are from the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender.

You earn energy by checking in with the app and completing either exercises the app provides, or goals you have created for yourself, or just simply journaling. Once you've earned enough energy, you can send your birb out on their daily adventure. You can have them complete their adventure faster by generating more energy. You also earn Rainbow Stones (the in-app currency I mentioned earlier) alongside building up energy. After six hours (or shorter, if you've built up energy while your birb was adventuring), your finch will want to discuss their journey with you. There's two pre-scripted answers you can choose or you can opt to write up your own response. Based on what you picked, your birb will respond in kind. Obviously, it's a bit of a generic non-committal reply if you write up your own response. The app doesn't have writing generators to come up with a response based on what you wrote.

This is the part that I was referencing in conjunction to my ACNH project. The app doesn't save your birb's past adventures to relive outside of noting whether they like or dislike a particular discovery: food, desserts (not sure why it's a separate category), drinks, books, TV shows, movies, songs, games, or activities (such as bathing in an onsen or moon watching).

I find the adventure itself, what Poki has to say about it, my different response options, and her reply back to me all adorable. All things I wish to revisit. Much like ACNH, I realized that I would have to record them myself to do so. This results in me taking HUNDREDS of screenshots and then splicing them together so I can later quickly flip through and relive Poki's journeys.

Sorry for the blurry image.
It's not this bad on my computer.
Not sure what's up with that. 😅

Soooooo, yeah. As I mentioned, my brain has been fried, and so I've been using the need for mindless tasks as an excuse to finally get back to my massive backlog of ACNH and Finch images that I've wanted to splice together via GIMP. I'm still probably over a thousand images deep for both projects when it comes to backlog. But I did make some progress. So... yay.

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Back to that one creative endeavor I did manage this month, though. Yup. Finally circling back around to that. For whatever reason, when I woke up on Saturday, August 19th, I was fixated on my one character Artie. In the past - mostly 2016 - when I talked about Artie, I said that they were still cisfem, but disguised themselves as male for various reasons. They would even purposefully present as female if they felt it would be beneficial to the situation.

Since then, I've felt like Artie was actually the first queer character that I created. I feel like they would definitely use they/them pronouns. I still don't know enough about non-cisgender identities to truly know how Artie would define themselves, so I don't want to canonically say. In one incarnation, Artie still thought of herself as cisfem and did indeed disguise herself as male to better survive in a patriarchal society. In other incarnations? Artie is probably closer to gender neutral? Maybe gender fluid? They don't care if people think of them as male or female. They see the social benefits of both options, and mostly present as one gender or another for those benefits: males aren't questioned on their strength or intelligence, females are allowed to cry or enjoy "cute" things, males are allowed to be a little reckless and exploratory, females tend to have tighter communities to interact with, etc.

The more I thought of Artie while I got ready for work, the more I wanted to introduce them to the world. Back in 2019, I had abandoned this project before finishing my introduction of Lia, but the way Artie was poking at me, I knew I needed to revive my "Meet My OCs" series on Tumblr. During the aforementioned work downtime on the 19th, I started up the first half of my introduction to Artie. You may notice, if you go through the few blog posts here where I talked about Artie before, that I got some of the details of Artie's early versions wrong in that Tumblr post. Funny how your memory can morph facts. Whoops. I have to say, though, I think what I "remembered" for that Tumblr post feels truer-to-form for how I picture Artie now anyway. Maybe it was always what the character wanted, but I just wasn't ready to have a non-cisgender character yet, so I manipulated the facts for my own benefit.

It kept me another two days, but I did manage to get Part 2 of my Meet Artie series published before the close of the weekend. It was fun trying to recreate them on Hero Forge and Picrew.

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Generated using this maker

Generated using Maker 773

My main problem with Artie is that I have a character that feels interesting to me, but I have no plot for them. As mentioned in those Tumblr posts, Artie was created for a play-by-post roleplay game that fell through. Then I revived them for a one-shot horror-survival game, but we never got past character creation. An older post from this blog notes that I tried reviving Artie a third time to write a YA dystopia short story for Ronoxym's 30th. The world build alone ended up being five pages long, so I knew that wasn't going to really work out for what I wanted to do, and shelved Artie one more time... in favor of creating Colton and Zetelica instead.

I just don't have a specific setting or plot sorted out for Artie. They don't have a "world" like my X-Future/Glitches pseudo-cyberpunk characters do, or my Gyateara fantasy characters. Even Colton and Zetelica have a world: the one I built for Rono's story. Artie? Artie just kind of floats around in my head, popping up now and again to make sure I don't forget they're there. I hope to find a home for them someday. Maybe they'll join Colton and Zetelica in rounding up the spirits of the dead. Maybe I'll import them into Glitches (although, I'm not sure what their powers would be....). Maybe I can find a way of reworking the speculative fiction that originally birthed Artie into fantasy, and they can find a home on Gyateara. Maybe I'll think of a story all for them.

Who knows? It was nice getting them out into the sunlight, though. Maybe it will help me keep them a little closer to the forefront of my mind, and I'll be more inclined to figure out where to put them.

Do any of you have "story-orphaned" characters like Artie? What do you do with them? Were you able to "rehome" them eventually?

While my mind still ponders what to do with Artie, I hope that September brings a bit more mental recouping so I can get back into actual story writing. It's been a while, and clearly I missed my initial goal to have at least one chapter of Seduce With Caution published by August 2023. Bully me, peeps! Keep me on track! Have me hunker down and FOCUS on this story. I have so many WIPs piled up. It would be nice to finally take one off the pile, you know?

Anyway, until next time!

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Ready For 2018 To Be A Big Year!

Well, 2017 is behind us, and 2018 is just started. Let's see how this year ends up, huh? I'm trying to aim for a much more productive one all around.

Productivity in adulting, such things as paying down my student loan, getting a better car, working on my credit, maybe getting a house or getting pregnant. Productivity in my health, such as eating healthier, working out, losing weight, seeing doctors at a more regular pace. Productivity at work with such things as maybe pitching to the owners my idea of having a Communications Director to make sure all employees are on the same page, as well as help take some weight off of the office personal.

Most importantly, productivity in my writing. Yesterday was a wash. I read, yes, but didn't even think of writing anything, not even a Facebook status. So, not the best start, but January first rarely is. Which leads us to this glorious tradition of First Blog Post Of The New Year Is The Resolutions Post!

First, let's recap how I did last year.

Resolution #1: No More Than 3 Zero Days in Any Given Week
Um..... Yeah, I was sort of hit or miss on this one. I still have my two calendars, one for marking if I wrote or not, and the other with the hourly breakdown so I can see what I do with my life. I'm going to try to get back into the habit of using those so I can crack down on this resolution.

Resolution #2: Complete the "Reading Books Like a Boss" Reading Challenge.
I got further with this one, but, as I discussed last week, I didn't finish. I'm getting further into "Ender's Shadow." I even went back yesterday and re-read the first two parts of the book I completed already in order to jot down my notes of parallel moments. That way when I re-read "Ender's Game" I can look back at my notes to get an idea of where Bean was during all of it.

Resolution #3: Constructively participate on the Writers’ Huddle Forum At Least Once A Week
This one was another negatory. I had bouts of good participation, and then months of ghosting. I was more active than I was in previous years, though....

Resolution #4: Beta Read And Return Notes Within A Fortnight
This one I managed. I didn't really have many people give me things to look over, but the few that did I returned notes on within 14 days. A lot of them I gave the notes back probably on the 14th day, but it still counts!

Resolution #5: Have 52 Blog Posts Published Before The End Of 2017
I DID IT! I COMPLETED ANOTHER RESOLUTION!

Hacker Girl Facebook Sticker
by Birdman, Inc.

I know I celebrated last week, but it's exciting to me, so I wanted another quick hurrah!

Resolution #6: Ronoxym's Writing Challenge
Yeah. I didn't even really attempt this one. At the beginning of the year when I was doing the "A Writer's Book of Days" prompts and happened to write something under 1000 words that was original and a complete story, I used those stories for the challenge. Other than those afterthoughts, though? I didn't even think about this challenge Ron put out for me a couple years ago.

So.... that's how I did. Not spectacular, but not disastrous either. Now to set up the resolutions for this year.

Resolution #1: No More Than Three (3) Zero Days In Any Given Week

I will try this one again and again and again until I get it as routine. Yes, I did say above that I wanted to try the fifteen minutes every day routine, but if I can't even write four times a week, I'm never going to succeed in every day. So, baby steps. I will once again attempt to write at least four days a week for at least fifteen minutes a day. We'll see where I will go from there.

Resolution #2: Complete My Personal Reading Challenge

As I stated last week, I'm not going for any actual pre-made reading challenge from anyone. I have a series of books I want to read, and I want to try to make sure I tackle those. So, here is my own personal reading challenge.

I still have three slots that I can fill in throughout the year. The key is to try to get twelve stories read even though I'm fairly confident it's going to take me at least two months to truly absorb "Atlas Shrugged."

Also, yes, I did include fanfiction as one of the categories. If NaNo considers 50,000 words a novel, why not use that as a basis of making a non-professionally published work just as "valid" of a read? It's still a challenge to read through something that requires that much time investment, so why not?

Resolution #3: Constructively participate on the Writers’ Huddle Forum At Least Once A Week

I again failed at keeping up with this community, opting instead to stay closer to home with my physical friends and local writing group. However, I have been more active in the fanfiction Facebook group my college roommate got me into a few months ago, so why shouldn't I be as involved in my online writing group!? 

I need to step it up. Let's see what I can accomplish this year! No ghosting!

Resolution #4: Complete My Four Main WIPs

For those who don't know, WIP stands for Work In Progress.

I want to get the following stories completed by the close of 2018:

• "Peeping Tomcat" my main and premiere "Miraculous Ladybug" fanfiction 
• "One and the Same" my planned sequel to "Peeping Tomcat."
• My still unnamed X-Future story about Trish and Devon's last battle
• My fan novelization of Varekai

I really REALLY want to get "Peeping Tomcat" done and posted by the end of March. I'm even officially signed up now for NaNo's "What Now?" months. Once I'm done with PT, I want to get "One and the Same" posted around June. At this rate, I'd be posting something roughly once a quarter, which would have the Trish/Devon battle in September, and Varekai at the end of the year. I may use Varekai as my NaNo concept after all, just a year late....

Resolution #5: Post Some Completed Work At Least Once A Month

Just because I'm working on four major projects doesn't mean I can't try to get some minor ones up as well, right? I mean, if I'm aiming to write at least four times a week I should be able to do some "warm up" writing on a monthly project before zeroing in on further progress with my main ones, right?

I hope so. It will keep me from burning out on my main projects. It allows my creativity to still grow with these side projects, instead of shoving even more plot bunnies off to the corner. It keeps me relevant by having me post something more frequently than four times a year. It also gives me more things to share with you fine folks throughout the year. At the very least, this would mean twelve updates - one per month - but in theory could mean sixteen: one per month, plus the four main WIPs. We'll see.

And there you have it, my main resolutions. I'm still aiming to keep strong with my 52 weekly blog posts for the year, as well as my fortnight turn-around time for beta notes. However, I've conquered those resolutions. Sure, I must resolve to keep up with them, but I also want to focus on the ones that will allow me to grow as a writer.

My sister gifted me with a bunch of writing books this Christmas, and I still have the three from last year, so, here's to 2018 being the best writing year for me yet!

Hideki and Chii from Chobits by Clamp

Get Even the Trash on Paper

We all know what this means for my writing, right?

It will go straight into the toilet....

Hacker Girl Facebook Sticker
by Birdman Inc

It already started this week. Sorta. Thursdays, Sundays, and Mondays are all going to be trash writing days, because I'm going to more-or-less go straight from work to watching a football game. I thought that maybe I'd put in my headphones and write while the game is on in the background; peeking every once in a while to keep on top of what's going on, but who am I kidding?

My writing and any nutritional eating just fall off a cliff the first week of football season, and it takes me a little while for them to heal and return strong.

I did try my darnedest to push myself to write the rest of the week, though. Didn't always work, and I didn't write nearly as much on the days I did write, but it's better than no writing.

My mantra this week.

You can always edit later. You don't have a story if it stays in your head, though. I mean, you DO, but what if you lose it? What if you wait to find the perfect words the first go and never find them? What if you need the whole story first before you can find the perfect words?

Just write. Get that story out of your head. Go from there. It may be a painful read through when you're done, but no one but you has to do that read. Then you polish until you're excited to share it.

Anyway, back to this week. I was coming off an awesome high. I had plowed through nearly 7000 words in one week, I wrote six out of the seven days of the week, and I wrote over 1000 words nearly every writing session.

Without the added drive of the challenges, though, I kind of went back into "research mode"... kinda.

OK, I spent the week more-or-less watching dubs of Miraculous fancomics on YouTube. I wanted to see how others dealt with the "big reveal" vs "one knows about the other, but both don't" and other such tricky plots. Mainly because I was stuck as to what everyone's reaction would be.

The last 1284 words I wrote in a desperate sprint to finish the Summer Challenge weren't terrible, but they weren't exactly good either. I saved them all in a separate document in case I want to revisit the feelings there, but then started over with that whole scene. It went in a semi-different direction that stayed more with Adrien than my original version did. I'm still not 100% happy with it, but it's better. It still needs more tweaking, but I think I just really need to lengthen this whole story into chapters. I feel like the story is getting way long, but moving at a breakneck pace at the same time.

Well, as I tripped my way through this scene in an attempt to move back into the ones that more-or-less wrote themselves, I managed a whopping 1347 words for the week. Whooo.....

I feel like I wrote more. I feel like I did something aside from this blog last Tuesday, but I forgot to log the words, and with all the editing I've been doing with my story, I couldn't confirm nor deny that I had advanced it at all on Tuesday.

I know for a fact that I wrote on Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday... so there's that at least. Each session was under 1000 words, and nearly all three were less than 800 words. Still, I hid myself away, determined to write, and I did, at least for a little bit. I may not be excited by the scene I'm writing - which doesn't bode well for people reading it - but I'm at least getting it on paper. I'm pushing through.

I'm pretty positive that this month will just be a bunch of bouncing back and forth between working my way through this fanfic and redoing the fight scene for the STILL untitled Trish/Devon showdown story.

To help me out with the latter, I actually ordered a couple of things. Meet Body Kun and Body Chan.

They're flimsier plastic than I expected; aren't as easy to pose as I'd like; the stands fall apart easily, so you have to have a gentle touch; switching out the multiple different hands is harder than depicted due to the wrist joint moving abruptly while trying to snap on the hand you want; I had to pop Body Chan's shoulder back into socket when I first opened her up from the packaging; I couldn't find a proper hand to keep the pencil accessory from slipping to the table as soon as I let go; and I can't seem to get them to stand on their own like the pictures on the website suggests. All that being said, they are well articulated, have multiple hands to choose from, and you can do a fair amount with those stands, which double as storage for the accessories.

All-in-all, I'd give these guys a 7 out of 10. Not worth the $89.99 they are originally listed as, and may not even be worth the $39.99 they're currently on sale for as of this writing. However, they are worth the $45 package deal I got for them, I think. For nothing else, they're probably worth that much due to the accessories included. Whatever their value, I don't know how good they'll be for actual posing references for artists, but they should be posable enough for my purposes: visually "watching" fight scenes play out so they seem more realistic. We'll see if it helps.

Sadly, the one member of my local writing group who really pointed out my flaws is now studying abroad, so I probably won't see her again for a year or more. Maybe I can still convince her to give it a read-over via Google Docs or something.

On top of the new narrative projects I've got going on this month, I'm now on week three or four - I think - of a major work project. I'm apparently in charge of writing an orientation handbook for my job.

Technically, it wasn't an official order. It was more of the owner of the company asking my manager if I would mind writing one in between the other projects I have to take care of at work. I feel so over my head, and yet again I'm following the mantra of

I'm up to something like 40pgs - including the cover page, index, and about 10 pgs of appendices - and I'm just now getting to the meat of the handbook. I have everything else related to the job described and explained, but now I have to figure out what bits of sales itself I need to include.

Bun Facebook Sticker
by David Lanham

As of right now I'm dumping everything I can think of onto the page so I make sure I don't forget anything. I'll condense later. Might even gain some faith in potential future co-workers and assume they have some common sense. We'll see.

Either way, it's a tedious job that I kind of dread doing. I don't write non-fiction. I'm terrible at knowing what people need to know and what is overkill. I mean, even without the appendices and intro pages, it's still something like 25pgs of information, and I'm not done yet! Help!

At least I have my fiction writing to escape to over lunch breaks. As well as the book I picked for September's Book of the Month for the 2017 Reading Books Like A Boss challenge. Years ago for a birthday gift, my one friend got me the book "The Legend of Zelda and Philosophy: I Link Therefore I Am" edited by Luke Cuddy. I haven't made it to the meat 'n' potatoes of the book, so I can't really say one way or the other what my thoughts are, but it's at least interesting thus far. I did get pulled out at one point because the author of a particular segment wrongly, and repetitively, called Link's home island in "The Wind Waker" Outcast Island instead of Outset Island. It made me wonder how much they really played the game before trying to philosophize, but aside from that....

I'm going to use it for the "outside comfort zone" category because I almost exclusively read fiction. The last time I read non-fiction that isn't a writing related was in college. Plus, I'm not enough of a "thinker" to really get into philosophy, but it's about Zelda, and I do have an open mind, or at least try to, so I'm intrigued. I'll keep you posted, and I hope this also gets me back on track for finishing up the year with all 12 books for the challenge read. I already know I have more than that read as well, between the mangas, fanfictions, and novels that don't fall into any of the categories.

Oh, and I might be going back to "Ready, Set, Novel!" soon to try to figure out my Varekai fannovelization. I even have a fancy new orange notebook to jot my thoughts down in. I blame my first job out of college, but I equate blue, orange, and white to Icarus: blue for the sky, orange for the sun, and white for the wings. But also because of our mascot: a blue-skinned ginger Icarus with attached angel-like wings so he wouldn't fall.

Logo designed by our then art director Julie Fox Moyer
Icarus design and commercial animation by Thomas Pollock

So I have three projects! Four if you count the work one.... Five if I find the time to finish the "Hey, Arnold!" fanscript of "The Jungle Movie" with ChibiSunnie before the official movie airs in November!

Um... I might be overdoing it with the WIPs....

Tanuki Facebook Sticker
by Yanare Ku

Mom is also coming back up at the end of this week to tackle two more of my chaotic rooms. I may have an organized apartment yet! It will also mean I might not get much writing done this weekend, or the start of next week. We'll see.

I did just state last week that I seem to do well with my writing when my time is limited. We'll see if I strike oil again.

Plotbunnies Bogging Down My Challenge

Well, I won Camp NaNo, and then quickly dive bombed. After writing last week's post I made sure to finish the fight scene before my group meeting. Nearly 1700 words in one sitting. I only needed to write 500 for my challenge. I then wrote nothing. I barely made time to write on Thursday either, not even managing 200 words! At least I made the time to write SOMETHING, so I guess there's that. Then I was away for the weekend, so Friday and Saturday were both a wash. I needed to sit down and play catch-up to finish the week with at least 2500 words of narrative written, even if I didn't write 500 words per sitting or for five days of the week.

I wrote 182 words before I picked my husband up from work. Go me....

Still, in the end I have a completed fight scene and 2016 more words than I started the week with. Not the best, but still better than nothing, right?

As for the fight scene? Ug....

It was rough. Super rough. I HATE fight scenes, have I told you guys this? Well, thankfully, one woman in particular in my writing group has been writing at least one play a year since.... I don't recall.... high school? It's been a while with many projects under her belt, regardless of when she started. She kind of specializes in fight scenes for her plays, so she knows how to get the choreography down. It was rough to hear HOW MUCH I got wrong, but at least now I know where I'm aiming.

We've been chatting off and on throughout the week, and she's given me quite a few other things to think about.

One of the main ones is the realistic nature of Trish trying to do a knife duel with her butterfly. This had me super concerned for DAYS because no matter what other knife I tried to use instead, it just didn't seem to fit. It wasn't "her" knife. Trish unequivocally wields a butterfly knife. Thankfully, Hubby came to the rescue on that one. He used to have a butterfly comb back in his punk-youth, and demonstrated how a five-inch butterfly blade could still be enough to do some damage. Besides, Trish wouldn't want to give Devon a swift death, so having something that could be long enough to pierce his heart or other organs just isn't her style.

Knife flipping for boredom, punk persona, and intimidation? That's Trish's style.

That's when I realized that my real mistake was not having her use her finger work more frequently. She should have flipped the knife at the last second in order to come at Devon at an angle he wasn't preparing for. She should have changed hands frequently so he couldn't keep track of her blade. She should have snapped the knife closed and flipped it back out in a second when Devon's guard was down. She should have smacked his knuckles or his blade away with her handles as she flipped them. She has this knife because it fits her personality so perfectly, and yet I didn't have her utilize it. Yes, it's a small blade, but her skill would have made up for it.

Another reason she NEEDS to have a butterfly: it's small and seemingly nonthreatening even though it's illegal, but that doesn't mean it can't mess you up real quick and prove why it's still dangerous. Ya know, just like her.

Trish: the butterfly knife of the Brotherhood.

Hubby wasn't too thrilled with Devon's knife either. For whatever reason, I always pictured Devon as trying to pull off that James Dean, Rebel Without A Cause, 1950s street punk look. Maybe it was the jeans, tight plain t-shirt, and denim jacket outfit Ronoxym dressed Devon in when he first described his character. Either way, I just pictured Devon having a Stiletto switchblade knife.

Much like Trish and her butterfly knife, this knife, while impractical,
seems to match Devon's character the best.

It's not practical. It's not utilitarian. It would be something a kid on the streets would have in the '50s, but not in the 2000's. Still, there's just something about Devon's character that tells me that he tries, even subconsciously, to emulate that 1950's street punk persona.

The much more practical and realistic knife option though, the one I might go with if Ron gives me the A-OK, is a standard switchblade.

It's simple, sleek, and the same intimidation factor as a stiletto. The main thing, though, is that it's more modern, you can easily attack and quickly hide the blade like a butterfly knife, and it has a slicing blade that can also be used to stab, as opposed to the stiletto which is essentially only designed for deep stabs.

The one that Hubby always pictured, and believes is the most realistic option due to the utilitarian nature of it, is a simple flip-blade knife.

There's still the intimidation in flicking this baby open with a thumb or a flick of a wrist. Yet this one is the most practical to also use to cut non-organic things, such as wires or boxes or cloth. It just seems the most practical for someone who used to live on the streets.

Unfortunately, Ron simply said that Devon had a "pocket knife" which could also just as easily be a Swiss Army knife. I'm patiently waiting for Ron to let me know what knife style he was picturing for Devon. In the meantime, I'm working on the choreography of the fight yet again.

Knives from the Scott Pilgrim comic books
by Bryan Lee O'Malley
(Had to, I'm exasperated and talking about knives...)

At least this time Hubby offered to spar with me to get the choreography down. I don't know why, but I was afraid he'd find me weird asking for him to help me with this. The man is my muse and my rock in all things, but especially in writing. I should have trusted that he'd help me out.

I'm still hoping to have it ready enough to trade with Mouse on the 15th, and fully edited for posting by the end of the month. I'm also hoping that Ron will have a few moments to read through what I have and get back to me about anything he'd like me to change. This story does involve two of his characters: Nyssa, and of course Devon. I want to do them justice.

In the meantime, though, I still have to get Devon and Nyssa to the room where they are going to do battle. It's a slow go with awkward pacing. I'll have a lot of work to do once I get the words down, but I have to focus on that first. Get the words out of my head, then worry about editing.

I was such a procrastinator as a child, and never quite shook it. However the procrastination when I was in school lead to another bad habit of editing as I went. I didn't have time to write a first draft, go through and edit it, and possibly revise it once more. I needed to edit as I wrote so that my first draft was as perfect as it was going to be. Since I consistently did a good enough job that I always got A's, and sometimes 100%, on all of these written projects, the practice stuck. Even in college I almost always turned in my first draft. I just grew accustomed to this bit of myself: the perfect first drafter.

Now that my tastes have improved, and at a much faster rate than my writing has improved, I'm starting to realize my first drafts are far from golden. It's a bit of a bedrock shake. Sure, it's generally not the largest rewrites: usually pacing and removing some repetition. My largest editing pattern is just streamlining what I have on paper so it ends up being about 20% less when I'm done.

Then there's this fight scene, which may be a complete rewrite now that I have my flaws pointed out. I know where to go from there.

Still, it's weird to me that I have to do rewrites and major edits. It started with Please, Let Me Explain, and has become more and more frequent in my longer works. It stings a little bit, but I have to remind myself that it's part of writing. I'm not becoming worse because I have to do rewrites. I'm becoming BETTER. I'm noticing that the first go through my head isn't always the best go. I'm becoming more professional. I'm letting arrogance over my "perfect first drafts" slip away. I'm evolving.

Speaking of, I have another story idea. A couple, actually, but I'll focus on one.

After fifteen years of just remembering this amazing show, I finally managed to track down an affordable copy of Cirque de Soleil's show Varekai; my favorite performance the troupe has done.

I saw it when it aired on Bravo in 2003.

The story of Varekai is a retelling of the Greek myth about Icarus. In Varekai, when Icarus fell from the sky after flying too close to the sun, he didn't actually land in the ocean and drown. Instead, he fell onto the summit of a volcano, into a bamboo forest called Varekai: Romani for "Wherever." There, Icarus falls for one of the inhabitants. He must acclimate himself to this strange new world and it's strange inhabitants while also struggling to save his new love from a tribe of water-people who kidnapped her. Well, actually, it's never stated who they are, they could be lizards since they keep creeping ABOVE the stage, but their costumes look like scale leotards and seaweed wigs, so.... I'm going with water-people?

 So, I really don't know what these creatures are supposed to be. Lizard? Water nymphs? Personified rain pouring onto the volcano summit? Then again, the main character is also a bit perplexing.

This is Icarus' love interest La Promise, or Betrothed. She's sometimes known as The Caterpillar since her love for Icarus causes a metamorphosis that completes after she's whisked away by the above water-people, or whatever they are. She moves and has fins and a crown like she's a fish, or maybe a reptile of some sort. Yet, when she's captured, it's within a giant bird cage where she cries out to Icarus with avian-like chirps and dolphin-like squeals. Still, she's referred to by fans as a caterpillar because of the drastic metamorphosis.

Even the official press release about this character says: "An exotic creature who enraptures Icarus with her sensual beauty. She will be his guiding light and he, in turn, will be the catalyst for her metamorphosis."

It's a mythical bamboo forest at the summit of a volcano during Greek mythology, so.... run with it?

Anyway, my point is that Cirque de Soleil shows are very much like ballets. There is a central theme and story that the director wants to portray, but then that story is only vaguely told through the dance, acts, songs, and costume. The audience is given a little blip of the story with their program, or, in my case, the DVD back cover, and the rest of the story must be interpreted.

This kind of annoys me, which is why I'm not the biggest fan of ballets or operas, due to my not knowing what is being sung. It annoys me a bit with Varekai as well, but the gymnastic skill the performers have, and the hilarious antics of the clowns, makes up for it.

Still, I wish there was a comprehensive play-by-play of the story and how each act fits in that story.

That's when it hit me. I should write that story! It would be a different take on the traditional fanfiction.

It already started forming in my head. It would be told from at least La Promise's and Icarus' points of view, but I may include the other named characters.

Left to Right: The Guide wearing Icarus' wings, La Promise, The Limping Angel, Icarus,
and The Skywatcher

Technically, Icarus, La Promise, The Guide, and The Skywatcher are the only ones listed as named "main cast" in the press releases, but in the description of the act the "cripple" performs - Solo on Crutches - the performer is described as The Limping Angel.

The Guide, as described by the press release, is weathered by the sun of many centuries, and is like a kindly, fragile great-grandfather—a wise old man whose mission is to inspire and bring about change. Personally, my interpretation of the show is that he's a cranky old man who is untrusting of the man who fell from the sky.

The injured Icarus is hurt and scared. His only peace and consolement is La Promise, and yet they keep getting chased away from each other. The Guide doesn't seem to want to bring them together, but he does seem to test Icarus to see if he's worthy of La Promise, eventually marrying the two once both are healed and reborn.

The Skywatcher, again, according to the press release, is described as "a mad scientist and ingenious inventor, collector of the world’s memories and interpreter of signs. This is a man who receives signals, transforms sounds and forewarns of trials and tribulations. He lives perched on the edge of his laboratory-nest." He senses Icarus' coming and gathers the other inhabitants of Varekai to watch the youth's fall. According to the description of another act, the Skywatcher is "always on the lookout for new inventive ways to mess or interfere in the life of the inhabitants of the forest" and seems to favor picking on The Guide.

He doesn't necessarily prevent Icarus and La Promise from getting together, but he seems to have his own trials to make sure this is the right boy.

We don't get much about the Limping Angel, but he seems a sorrowful man crippled by some tragedy. He watches on from the distance in most cases. I imagine he sees himself in Icarus and is maybe warning the boy as to how to overcome the trials of Varekai in order to become strong and worthy of La Promise.

The beauty of this show is the story potential built behind it. For the plot that keeps popping into my head, La Promise would wonder about her metamorphosis and why it hasn't occurred yet. Perhaps it is tied to a prophecy about Icarus, or perhaps it only occurs when she finds her soulmate. Meanwhile, Icarus laments not listening to his father, and becomes cautious and timid after his fall, for fear of injuring himself again, or worse, killing himself with his impulsiveness. The Guide, Skywatcher, and Limping Angel each try to bring Icarus' self confidence back up as he heals. Eventually, Icarus becomes reborn as an inhabitant of Varekai; one of its people now.

I WANT TO WRITE THIS SO BAD!

Yet I have been telling my other writing friends lately that they need to focus on finishing their existing project and just write notes of their plot bunnies in journals to look back upon later. I need to practice what I preach. So, the Varekai fan-novelization will have to wait, as does my Miraculous Ladybug fanfiction idea(s).

I'm hoping this spark and added assistance will help carry me through the rest of this summer challenge. Keep me excited to write consistently. Then, perhaps the Varekai novelization can be my NaNo story this year.

Conquered Camp!

Happy Belated, little one!

As I mentioned last week, Sunday was the first birthday of Cyhyr and Ronoxym's baby girl. Sadly, instead of going to the party, I ended up passing out on the couch, but I'll get back to that. First I want to talk about my challenges.

I did it. I completed Camp NaNoWriMo my first year. Granted, it was a small goal to hit, but I still say that 10,000 words is big after the slump I was in! In fact, I finished with 10,892 words, and I finished four days early!

Could I have written more before the challenge was over? Yes. Is my story done? Far from it. So why did I slack off this past week? Would you believe me if I said it's because the Winner page told me to sit back, relax, and enjoy the sunset, since I earned it?

OK, in truth it's because the weekend got away from me. Friday I tried to add more to the story, but writing this fight scene is just kicking my butt. I'm having a hard time picturing the fighting and how everyone would move. I have no clue how true-to-life it is. If the movements are fluid and natural or if they're clunky and forced. I have Trish charging like a bull nearly every third paragraph. It's kind of pathetic.

So, Friday, while I was trying to add more words, I ended up editing a little bit and physically acting out the fight scene. I'd go through some moves as Trish to make sure they're fluid. Then I'd go back and counter as Devon to make sure those make sense. Then I'd have Devon go on the attack before switching back over as Trish for defensive maneuvers. I even got Hubby's action figures involved, posing them so I could see both sides of the fight at the same time.

I. Hate. Fight. Scenes! I'm such garbage at them!

Well, after subtracting more words than I added on Friday, I gave it another go on Saturday. It was late, I was mentally checked out after running trainings at work Friday and Saturday, and I had to play a little catch-up. I barely squeaked out over 500 words before calling it quits. It didn't matter really, I was still over my 10,000 word goal. I was still a winner!

Then, as I mentioned at the top, I passed out on my couch on Sunday. I was going to go to the party. I was going to write. I was going to clean. I was going to do SOMETHING productive while Hubby was at work. Instead I passed out on the couch until 8pm. Sure, I could have spent the next two hours writing before picking Hubby up and then watching Game of Thrones. Instead, my stomach decreed that it was time for a late dinner, so I read the last couple chapters of Smoulder by midnightstarlightwrites.

All-in-all a cute story, but I feel it loses its way after chapter 24: the big reveal chapter. There were twelve more chapters after that one, and they were sweet, but they felt like a different story. Especially since MidnightStarlightWrites didn't tie the original Smoulder idea into any of the last chapters, well aside from Marinette teasing Adrien about modeling underwear....

I wish MSW had stopped at chapter 24, maybe tie up a few more loose ends in one more chapter. Then take the remaining plot from the last third of "Smoulder" and made a really nice follow-up story, continuing where "Smoulder" had left off. There was so much there that was breezed over, and it felt like a completely different plot anyway. Especially since none of the chapters after the 24th one had the excitement and build that the Reveal chapter had. Which is a shame, because there could have been the same excitement, build, and anxiety. It was there, it just didn't measure up after the sigh-release in chapter 24.

Anyway, the story is still really good, a little naughty, considering the author pushed the cast of characters to their senior year of high school, and has sweet as well as humorous moments. The characters were a touch Flanderized, but otherwise pretty accurate. I'd say about 8 out of 10 for my overall grade.

But back to my writing.

Yesterday was the last day to write. Last chance to add a few more words to my story and get it prepped a bit for tonight's writer's group. Instead we celebrated Spink and her hubby's anniversary. I guess that's a fairly valid excuse, right?

So, yeah, I was a bit disappointed that I could have at least hit 11,000 words before the end of July, but in the end I'm still proud.

I still managed to write 10,000 words in one month, winning my first Camp NaNo. I managed to get at least half of a fight scene written, so I have a start on one of my most hated bits of writing, and conquered my fear of even starting this scene. Finally, I sorta-hit my goal for my first week of the Writers’ Huddle summer writing challenge.

I missed writing on Monday, Friday, and Sunday, which meant I didn't hit my goal of writing five days a week. However, I did hit 2500 words throughout the week thanks to writing at least 500 words, and most days surpassing it, on the four days I did write. So, for both Summer Challenge and Camp NaNo, I didn't quite do as well as I would have liked, but I still met my goal regardless. So, yay.

As for this week? Well, as I just mentioned, I hung out with the newlyweds yesterday, so I didn't get any writing done, but I have today and the rest of the week. I'll have to keep you posted.

Sadly, with my story still not being done I clearly don't have anything edited to share. However, I have a pact with Mouse that we're going to exchange our July writing projects on the 15th. That way we have time to edit before sharing. She managed to succeed in her own personal July Writing Challenge, so yay for her as well! Can't wait to see what she worked on.

My point being, that this Devon/Trish story - whatever I finally decide to call it - should be edited, shared, critiqued, re-edited, and ready for online publishing by the end of August, so keep an eye out for that.

In the meantime, I should get back to working on it so it CAN be done in time!