A Super Low Week

Miss you so much, Daddy.

This was not a good week. And that's not even counting today.

For those who might not know, back in 1998 my father lost his battle with cancer. Today he would have been 57. He was a fantastic, fun-loving man who truly taught me what type of man deserved my love. So much so that I married a personality-clone of him. It's a shame Dad and Hubby never met. They probably would have been best friends; after Dad got over the fact that Hubby was "stealing his little girl away".

All of the nerdy video games and card games and board games and video games and Marvel and role-play games and football.... I enjoy them so much with my husband, and every now and again I picture what it would have been like to add Dad to the mix.

I love my mom and my sister so much. They are my rocks, and I miss them terribly. But they are far from nerdy; although my sister is slowly warming up to her inner geek. It's hard for the four of us - including Hubby - to find something we all enjoy to do because of that Nerd-Gap. Dad, on the other hand, he, Hubby, and I would have been thick as thieves.

Maybe it's for the best. If Dad had met Hubby, or if he had the chance to teach me D&D, then Mom would have never been able to escape from being forced to play with us. My sister too. They would have HATED us.


But, remembering the loss of my father wasn't the only reason this has been a crappy week. In all honesty, this has not been a particularly good month, either.

I have yet to open a book, let alone finish the one I started in February. It's been weeks since I've come up with a new concept for the rebooted X-Future - or had ANY ideas on an actual title for the thing. I haven't touched Please, Let Me Explain either for a couple of weeks. Haven't edited a blurb I sent to Ronoxym. Haven't written anything new.

I've been "An Adult" this week. I woke up at the crack of dawn to exercise. I then used that energy to clean and catch up on the finances. I went to a bridal shower on Saturday, hung out with Ronoxym and Cyhyr on Sunday, and celebrated my sister-in-law's birthday yesterday.

Aside from briefly Boffing with Cy on the laundromat lawn, I've been a normal 30-something this week. That sort of depresses me.

OH! And for those who don't know what I mean by "Boffing"; Boffer is the term for mock weapons made from foam to prevent injury. They are usually used in battle-simulation games, but there are also Boffing LARPS. These are what people typically think of when they hear Live Action Role Play. The most simplistic of definitions are "Nerf sword fighting Renaissance Faire" or "Live Action D&D". Granted, it's a lot more involved than that, but if you're interested to know more you can click on the link above.

Another downer this week is that exactly two months ago today, I put in an application for a corporate job with the store I work for. It was an awesome job that isn't production or writing based, but was otherwise "designed for me". I had three co-workers see the job posting and tell me they instantly thought I was perfect for it. Well, I found out this week - after a painfully long interviewing process - that it was a "really hard decision" and that they "loved [my] enthusiasm and energy", but there was just another candidate with more experience, so they went with that person instead.

Aaaaaand, I also injured my wrist at work this week, so I've been walking around with an ace bandage on it the past two days; at least I've had those days off so it can recover.... yay...


Back to the awesomeness of my writing fails this week. Cy and Ron talked to me about the Devon monologue I wrote a couple weeks ago, and then sent to him. They agreed that - while Ron has yet to take the time to sit and edit it for me - they felt it was "whiny and a bit repetitive." In other words: not my best work. I went over it again last night, and while I can see their concern about it being repetitive - I wrote it stream-of-conscious and didn't go back to edit - I really don't see how Devon's whining about anything. He's expressing his feelings. He's expressing feelings that Ron ALREADY HAD DEVON SHARE; just with a new twist to sort of combat Willow's arguments. So I don't get the "whiny" critique.

Maybe it's because it's almost all dialogue right now. I didn't take the time to interject action to break up the long monologue so it sounded more speech-like. So.... maybe it's not ME who pictures Devon as whiny and wrote him as such. Maybe it's THEM, and they're just projecting because I don't have the action I'm seeing in my head. Because I'm picturing Devon just full force growling at Willow....

Maybe I need to go back and drop some curse words so it sounds more aggressive?

Anyway, the fact that I don't even know what they're talking about with their critique further proves that I must be having an off week. I blink and the hours of the day are gone with little to nothing accomplished.

On the semi-plus side, I have more free time than I care for this week, so here's hoping one of two things happen:
1) I actually find the time to WRITE again, because I've been a super grump lately, too.
2) I can utilize the time to completely catch up on chores so that's no longer a distraction from writing.

Being able to accomplish BOTH is obviously ideal, but we'll see how I do.

Short post this week, but I'd rather take the extra free hours to do some chores/writing than drag out a post about virtually nothing this week.

I'm hoping I'll finally have SOMETHING for you fine folks next week. Until then...