Tuesday, April 16, 2019

A Tale of Two Scenes (times 2)

This week has been frustratingly productive.... or.... productively frustrating???

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone on their insight on my "which comes first" dilemma for "One and the Same." You all gave me a lot to think about. The consensus seems to be

I keep following the logic presented by those suggestions, and the "ah-ha moment" I wrote ended up being so adorable! Chat Noir was just soooooo excited, and I love it! Plus, Marinette's panic was immensely fun to write.

So, thank you, everyone, for your suggestions. It gave me a lot to think about, and I'm still going back to those comments even today to help me ponder further.

HOWEVER.... I have to admit that I'm still torn.


Sorry, spoiler-free folks, but I'm diving a bit into spoiler territory again. I'll see you guys again in a bit...
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I have to say that I agree with you guys when it comes to "find out about the bracelet second", and I actually wrote it originally that way. Marinette flopped onto her chaise in embarrassment as she admitted Adrien had this important trinket from her past. Chat Noir teased that it was more than what someone would do for "just a friend" and that maybe Adrien was "more than a friend?" He had also implied that he had instructed Marinette to confess to Adrien, and after hearing about the bracelet, he now SUPER DUPER pushed to her admitting her feelings to Adrien.

I had that. I was all set to have the bracelet come second. For it to be the moment Adrien realized Marinette was in love with him.

But then two things happened.

1) When I wrote the "he discovers the pictures" scene, I had him have the "she loves me!" moment, and it was gorgeous. It was wonderful. I loved it so much. But... he can't have that moment if he's supposed to have it when he finds out about the bracelet later.

2) I realized the wrong person was telling the story when Adrien realizes Marinette's love.

The story of the bracelet is definitely a Marinette chapter. The bracelet had some emotional significance to Adrien, but it didn't have the emotional weight I headcanon it having for Marinette. The reason Chat Noir is told the story in the first place is because he asks about a drawing of the bracelet Marinette has in her sketchbook. The reason she drew it in the first place is because she missed having it.

I haven't figured out the reasoning yet - if I keep the bracelet as the second scene, it could be because she feels it would give her the courage she needs to confess to Adrien - but Marinette was feeling down. She was in the same mindset as her 5-year-old self; in need for some placebo luck. Either she isn't confident, or she needs that physical reminder of her father's love. I'm still working on the situation that put Marinette in that mental state, but the important thing is that she's there.

She's the one with the emotional weight in this scene. She's the one who goes from upset, to a nostalgic warmth, to a centered calm, to embarrassment, to flattered shock. MARINETTE is the one who goes through an emotional rollercoaster. Meanwhile, while Adrien also goes through a lot as well, his emotional shifts goes from casual meet-up, to curiosity, to overwhelming comfort, to mild guilt, to flood of appreciation, to overwhelming love that forces him to leave before he does something rash.

Yes, I know, it looks like he has a lot going on himself. It does appear that he too has a lot of emotional weight in this scene. The thing though, is that Marinette GIVES him the emotional weight. The scene wouldn't have any sort of true significance to him if Marinette didn't attach that extra sentiment and significance to the bracelet. Plus, a lot of Adrien's emotions can be conveyed to the reader via body language and speech patterns. Marinette waxing nostalgic? Her mental state when Chat Noir first arrives? It's hard to really show that.

The readers know what's going on in Adrien's head. We know that he has the bracelet. We know that he is in love with Marinette. We know that he has a tumultuous relationship with his father, and so we can imagine his reaction when he finds out about this bonding moment Marinette had with her own father, as well as his reaction when she confesses why she's fine with Adrien keeping the bracelet. We don't need to be in his head for any of that, because we already are, to some extent.

However, since the origins of the bracelet aren't canon, and they haven't been brought up before in my stories, unless the reader has also read "Build Your Own Luck," they don't have the same level of knowledge of what could be going through Marinette's head. They won't understand the parallels between how she felt when her father made the bracelet and how she felt when she started drawing her sketch of the bracelet. They won't understand that she had been holding a secret from even Tikki, and the significance of her confessing it for the first time, and to Chat Noir, of all people. They won't know how Marinette's heart is starting to race around Chat Noir, and how much his words impacted her.

If the reader knew any of that, while Adrien is the one in charge of retelling the scene, it would mean HE noticed that stuff. Then he either would figure out she was growing feelings for his superhero side way too early for the story - I mean, to realize she was in love with Adrien, and now has a crush for Chat Noir in the same scene!? Story done! - or he wouldn't put two and two together with regards to his Chat Noir half, which would make him WAY too dense. Especially if he JUST figured out her feelings for Adrien, and yet couldn't see the same thing going on with his Chat Noir side?

It just... It doesn't feel right to have Adrien be in charge of this chapter. It feels like Marinette HAS to be the one telling the reader about this scene.

And yet... Adrien finally realizing Marinette is in love with him HAS to be his chapter. There's just too much shooting through his mind for him to NOT be the one in charge. It would be weird for Chat Noir to properly express everything going through his head after finding out Marinette was in love with - as far as she's concerned - another man. Especially when he's trying to stress how much he loves Ladybug.

Now, I did write that scene. I refined my original bracelet scene so that it was definitely after Adrien found out about the pictures. I made sure that it was the "Adrien realizes Marinette is in love" scene that most seem to want to see. He is adorkable as he is clearly elated to discover this, but also trying to be sly and disconnected because he's Chat Noir at the time, and CN doesn't have any real connection to Adrien... as far as Marinette knows.

I have to admit that I love the micro-scene. But... it just feels wrong to not be in Adrien's head during that "ah-ha moment."

Plus, on top of everything else, while I like the idea of Adrien seeing an "evolution" of Marinette from "a dedicated fan" to "she's in love with me". While I like the idea of him going from assuming she just likes him for his looks, to realizing that she's actually in love with his personality. While I adore the blocking I did for Adrien realizing it's not just a celebrity crush, but Marinette is truly in love. While all of that is GREAT, at the same time, do I really want Adrien to picture that evolution?

I made a point in “Peeping Tomcat” to have Marinette stress that she isn't friends with Adrien simply to have an "in" with his father and the fashion industry. She would be friends with Adrien even if he was a "nobody." She genuinely does enjoy his company, and doesn't care about his famous father or celebrity status.

So, it feels like a step backwards, and a means of undermining Marinette's declaration, if Adrien again assumes she's a crazed fangirl. It may even affect how he interacts with her in school, either pulling away and re-thinking his strategy for having her fall in love with him out of fear that she just sees the handsome face, or he'd fully lean into the model persona... and... just... no.

If he found out about the bracelet first? It would solidify what she said in PT. She does see him as a legit friend; a valid and highly valued friend. She understands Gabriel is far from perfect, and Adrien needs comfort and compassion. He can see the evolution of "friend to lover" instead of "crazed fan to love interest." There is more solid ground this way. Instead of finding out about the bracelet and thinking back to the pictures and going "Oh, so it wasn't about fashion or her obsession with my looks," Adrien can think back to the bracelet and go "Oh, so she didn't just give me the bracelet out of friendship, she's in love with me! She let me have it because I mean so much to her." Plus, if he knew about the pictures first, it might taint the bracelet: "She gave it to me because she's obsessed with me"

On top of all that, having the bracelet first gives the right characters the correct scenes. Marinette can still tell the story of her bracelet. Adrien can still tell the story of his realization that Marinette loves him.

I'm going to hate losing that adorable moment of Adrien having the epiphany after learning about the bracelet. If I follow my husband's suggestion of "bracelet first" I'm definitely releasing the alternate scenes as bonus content after OatS is done and posted. The scene is just too good to not let my readers see it.

Similarly, if I follow everyone else's suggestion and have "pictures first," I'm going to post THOSE alternate scenes as well. Having Chat Noir encourage Marinette without knowing the true significance of that act was equally sweet.

In other words, I'm in love with both versions of the Bracelet Scene I wrote, and my readers will eventually get to read both. I hope it doesn't sour the "official" versions though...

My point being, I have to see if I can rework my "pictures second" scene so Adrien's epiphany is just as adorable from his perspective as he was in my "bracelet second" scene....

This story is going to be my death. I'm telling you guys right now...
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OKAY! SPOILERS OVER NOW! YOU CAN START READING AGAIN IF YOU SKIPPED THE LAST PART!

For those who skipped, just know that I'm still torn on the order of my scenes, but I think I'm leaning more towards my husband's suggestion????? Maybe?????

Either way, the alternate versions of those scenes will be released after their "official" versions have been published. That way readers can get the goodness of both versions, since I love them equally. I just hope reading "what could have been" doesn't sour the versions I decide to go with....

I may change my mind on releasing the alternate versions once the story is ACTUALLY DONE, but, for now I want the world to see all four of my babies.


So, while I was battling that whole predicament, I DID manage to work on OatS nearly every day this week. Saturday was a bit hectic, so I wasn't able to touch my story then, but I DID go through every other day this past week.

Including Monday! Which is usually a trash-day for me and writing.

Granted, it was only a hundred words here, a couple hundred there, maybe 800 words at one point. The whole week, since I posted my last blog update, I've only added 1956 words to my overall project, bringing the total words written this month to 3642.

Most of this week has been me reworking those two scenes I wrote during NaNo. The one, should it be the first scene, needed a major overhaul. Most of my big numbers - my 780 word and 850 word days - were my reworking that scene. I then went back to the original version, grabbed what I liked about that reworked scene, found a way to fuse them together, and tweaked some more so it was definitely the second scene.  I started doing the same with my other main scene. I'm not as far along with that one, but it is again a lot of tweaking.

In other words, I did edits. Lots and lots of edits this past week. Those 100-word days were "a word here, a new sentence there" edits that just added up by the end of the day. Why does this story have to take so long to come together!?

At least I have a really encouraging group of "cabinmates" over on Camp NaNo.

I have also mentally worked out a bit more for an earlier scene in the story. Perhaps I should switch gears and work on that scene? Should I finish up with writing the two alternates of this second scene and get that over with? Either way, I'm sure I'll keep myself busy this week.

However, Hubby's aunt passed away, and we have her service tomorrow night. Then Easter is this Sunday, so I may not have the free time to write as I would like. We'll see how everything goes this week.

In other news, I want to let everyone know that my heart goes out to the people of Paris, and France as a whole.

The Notre Dame cathedral was a significant landmark in and of itself. The fact that I grew up with the Disney movie "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" made it even more significant to me. Lately though, having my current main fandom take place in Paris, with the Notre Dame appearing in nearly every shot of Marinette's balcony, it gave the cathedral a substantial amount of emotional weight.
Above shots from the episode Glaciator.
Above shots from episode Weredad.

So, as you can see, it's a prominent portion of the landscape around Marinette's balcony, which made the landmark cathedral all that more impactful in my own world view.

It saddened me greatly to find out yesterday that the roof caught fire. That iconic spire is now gone, as is at least one of those rose stain glass windows. Thankfully, the cathedral was in the middle of lengthy renovations anyway, so a lot of priceless pieces weren't there while it burned. Also, thankfully, the main structure is stone/brick, and so that is still mostly standing.

Still, it's a shocking loss, and I hope reconstruction can return it to its glory one day. It will be rough for citizens and tourists alike to see the cathedral in the meantime, though. It will be quite the trial for the parishioners of the cathedral as well.

My heart goes out to you, Paris. But you have rebuilt before, and you'll do it again.
"Miraculous Ladybug" episode Glaciator.

2 comments:

  1. I'm really sorry to hear about your husband's aunt. I hope that you're all okay. And I'm sorry to hear that OaTS is giving you so much trouble. I know how that feels. Sometimes I struggle with scene order, and is something I often debate about when writing Madness Within. I'll look at my plan and think "hmmm, maybe I should move that further back or bring it further forward." It's a nightmare. I wish that I could help, but I'm avoiding all spoilers for your story.

    It was also a shame about Notre Dame. It's one of those buildings that you just think is immortal and that nothing could ever happen to it. So I was shocked and almost in denial when my boyfriend told me that it was on fire. I'm glad that I did get to see it a few years ago, even if it was just from a distance. It's a beautiful and historic landmark and my heart also goes out to the people of Paris and France. I hope that they can restore it to it's former glory.

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    1. Thank you kindly, deary. (Sorry, just watched "Christopher Robin" and now my brain is thinking in a British accent...)

      I know you'd help if you could, but I also know the desire to go in spoiler-free. It's alright, I'll muddle through. (Dang it, brain!) It truly is a nightmare to try and sort out scene order. I had similar trials when I was working on PT. I actually did up index cards and sort of did a "choose your own adventure" style of the outline in order to figure out which path works best. I keep meaning to do the same with OatS, but it helps if I know the lead-ins to said scenes.

      I'll figure it out eventually. -_- We'll see if I can get OatS done before the series itself ends. :P I fell quite like George R.R. Martin right now... I'll get the book done... at some point... before I die... probably...

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