2015 Summer Writing Challenge: Week 1 - Gambit

Third day of Ali's Summer Writing Challenge over at Writers’ Huddle.

I had until Sunday to figure out what I was going to do for the challenge. I had so many different options and it was really hard to figure out which one to go with. AngelBlood666 suggested using the challenge for a fresh start on my writing. A way to let my brain recharge by chomping down on something new. ChibiSunnie added that I should consider the six-week challenge as an extended NaNo. When I put up the options I was considering on Struggling Writers Society's Facebook page Phfylburt agreed with AB666 and Chibi.

That nearly sold me. Three people thought I should try a completely new project for the challenge. Maybe that was the way to go.

On the other hand, Cyhyr liked my idea of using the challenge to finish up reworking the X-Men characters into originals. Then Hubby chimed in. He knew that I've been working on X-Future a lot lately, and while it may be good to put it on the back burner so my brain could take a vacation from the world build, he also knew it would be dangerous to kill my momentum while I had it. So, he agreed with Cy: that I should stick with X-Future for the challenge.

I had three people suggest I do something knew, but I didn't have any ideas I could write about. I would have had to either use some sort of writing prompt(s) or I'd be spending this first week just trying to figure out what to write. On the flipside, I only had two people say I should work on X-Future more, and I felt it was justification. Sure, I put it to a vote at SWS and X-Future lost, but I just couldn't let it go.

I followed my heart; much like how I decided to put X-Future in a pseudo-cyberpunk futuristic setting. Go where the muse tugs you.

Which means that my challenge for the summer will be to finish up my list of canon characters that I need to rework into original characters.

Via random selection, this week's challenge is finishing up my redo of Remy "Gambit" LeBeau. I have a nice start on him. I have the powers more-or-less redone and I decided that he'll be Australian now instead of Cajun. A bit of a shame since Chayse's X-Men code name is Cajun, and when we first started the game his nickname was Cage. Lia also teased him a bit using the Cajun reference. Things like "Bayou Brain." So, it's a little upsetting that I lose all of that, but even with a lot of other things switched out for Gambit, keeping him Cajun may be too similar to the original. I mean, even if people don't see Neo-Gambit as a knockoff of his inspiration, if Chayse were half-Cajun he would DEFINITELY seem like a Gambit rip-off.

Anyway, picking Gambit does seem like a bit of a blessing. I don't have much free time this week to really work on a character from scratch like I would for say Charles Xavier. The fact that I have so much already figured out for Gambit means I can ease my way in to this challenge. The main things I need are a rough backstory - which I have semi-started - a new name, and a physical description. Now to find the time to figure those things out by Sunday.

By the nature of this blog's mid-week postings, I won't be far enough along in that week's challenge to post here until a few days after the week is done. So next week I'll let you know Gambit's new character work as well as show off this week's mini-challenge: a writing selfie. One of the members of WH already posted hers, and the mug she's drinking from is fantastic!

While this isn't the exact mug she was holding, this was the only one I found that was close:

Found on Zazzle.com

There's also a more stylized one that I found on RedBubble.com

Personally, my favorite is this one:

Also found on Zazzle.com

Alright, time to get back on track. And by that I mean, time to fill up one of the writing mugs I actually own and start thinking about how to finish reworking Remy.

If you have a preference on who I should work on next week, let me know in the comments. Otherwise, it's another roll of the dice to choose between:

1. Kitty "Shadowcat" Pryde
   • Chayse's mom, Gambit's wife, and the founder of the orphanage
2. James "Wolverine" Howlett, AKA Logan
   • Lucas' guardian and founder of the arcade training facility
   • He also has some kids on the board, but I don't know if I'll be bringing any of them over
3. Amara "Magma" Aquilla
   • Lia's mom and Jamie's wife
4. St. John "Pyro" Allerdyce
   • Devon's dad and leader of "The Brotherhood" - which I also need to rework and rename
   • Love interest of an obsessive and possessive Trish
5. Professor Charles Xavier
   • Glitch whose essays and speeches and other such teachings inspired Kitty and Logan to create the orphanage and arcade in the first place

The Science of Morphing: Now with 60% More Emo Corner!

Yet another week of simultaneously accomplishing a lot and nothing at all.

After reworking at least the visualization of Pyro last week, I decided to work a bit on Devon's mom Mystique as well. It's hard to come up with a new look for a shapeshifter, though. So I focused more on her powers so that she could still morph, but the styling would be original.

Well, semi-original, I'll get to that in a moment.

I came up with a concept I really like - as do Hubby, Ronoxym, and Phyflburt - but it does have a lot of kinks to work out. I thought it would be neat if "Mystique" had to touch whomever she was trying to copy. I then wondered why that would be, and figured she'd need to actually absorb the DNA of the person. Then her cell structure could use the new DNA instead of the one she was born with, and THAT is how she morphs. This would also mean that her cells could "pick and choose" so she could customize her look.

For example, she could keep her body structure, but take the nose from Person A, and the ears and mouth of Person B, and the skin tone of Person C, and the hair and eyes of Person D, etc.

I was so excited about this idea. Then Hubby found an old 90s show on Netflix: Animorphs. For those who didn't grow up in the 90s and/or read the books, the concept is that a group of kids were gifted shape changing abilities by a dying alien. The way to use their ability? They must touch an animal in order to assimilate it's DNA. They can then morph in to that animal for no more than two hours; otherwise they can't revert back to their human form.

I had totally forgotten about Animorphs and how they used their power. I accidentally turned Neo-Mystique in to an evolved Animorph!

All that aside though, the real issue with my change is that Marvel Canon Mystique was simple. She could manipulate her body any way she wanted - in to a big, burly man, or a frail little girl, or a super model, or a hermit with only one good tooth, or even animals - as long as she could keep her body density. So, she could turn herself into a mouse or an elephant, she would still weigh 140lbs regardless. Matter could not be gained or lost while morphing. As long as she kept to that rule - which she HAD to, it was the physics of the comics - she could become whatever she imagined; whomever she imagined.

In putting the "Needs the DNA" restriction on my version of Mystique, I'm challenging her. If she never absorbed the DNA of a Chilean ballroom dancing champion with two different eye colors and a leaf-shaped birthmark on his left butt cheek, then she can't BECOME any of those things. She can use the DNA she does have to get close. If she has the DNA of a Latino, she can use that for the ethnic profile. She can use eye colors from two different DNA sets to get that look. She can use her own body structure to look like a dancer. Don't know how she'd be able to fake the leaf-shaped birthmark, though. Either way, she can't just imagine or see said Chilean dancer and then become an exact copy of him.

I was also thinking of putting time restrictions on to the absorption. Her cells can store DNA copies for, say, six months. It seems a bit long, but at the same time it's a lot shorter than Canon Mystique who would keep the same disguise for YEARS. In the comics, just to name a few, she was a super model, a senator's wife, a journalist for the Daily Bugle, and the deputy director of a government defense agency. Add in the X-Future board where, after abandoning Devon, she ran off to Chili or Peru and took on a non-mutant persona in order to start fresh. There she fell in love with a former X-Men and had a son with him. Mystique embraced her maternal role this time, confident that no one knew her true identity and that her new son Filipe wouldn't be in danger. Then Filipe's powers manifested and she feared it would out her as not only a mutant, but Mystique. She sent Filipe to the Xavier Institute and continued to live in her new identity.

So all that being said, six months may not be all that long for a shapeshifting spy/villain. Yet, it should also be more than enough time for most uses. This time restriction also gave me the idea of her keeping a collection of "DNA samples" such as locks of hair that she could touch to re-absorb the DNA she'd need to keep up a morphed disguise. Or maybe she just really likes having blue eyes and wants to keep that DNA around.

Another idea I had would be for her cells to have limits. In the above scenario Neo-Mystique could absorb HUNDREDS of people's DNA over the course of six months. It seems a bit too vast. So, with this new limits idea she'd have a cap. Having just one other person's DNA "saved" in her cell memory isn't much of a strain, and so she could "store" that DNA for years. However, add another two or three and it's starting to get a bit cramped in that cell. Now each DNA can only be remembered for about a year. Get her up to about six people and each bit of DNA can only be kept for a few months. And the pattern continues; maybe it's every 3 DNA strains, or maybe the numbers change depending how many there are. Similar to the idea I had with Neo-Multiple-Man and his duplicates so that doesn't get out of hand either. Anyway, the point is, if she gets too greedy with DNA absorption eventually she can only keep them for about an hour or two, or it could even be a strain for her to revert back to her original form; difficult to find her own DNA in the sea of others that she copied.

This is my personal favorite restriction. Probably because it is similar to what I came up with for Multiple Man, and so it just feels like they fit in the same universe.

But now comes the REAL trick when it comes to Neo-Mystique. She doesn't just look at and then copy someone like the original does. Canon Mystique likes the look of this man, but wants him to have an 8-pack ripped stomach instead of a beer belly? No problem. Boop, done. Neo-Mystique on the other hand, I don't know how to handle the weight thing. Yes, weight in some cases IS genetic, but your CURRENT weight isn't determined by DNA. It's neat that my version of Mystique never has to actually SEE the person she's mimicking as long as she has a DNA sample; like a glass he drank out of, for example. However, how would her body know what his weight is or how muscular he is or how long his hair is; if he still has any?

Would she be able to adjust the look of her weight to become burly or chubby? If her cells can only manipulate themselves by inserting new DNA where needed, how does that affect hair length or weight? And what if the person had plastic surgery? That's not in the DNA coding either.

Also, she might end up becoming way too powerful. If she's manipulating herself by inserting other people's DNA where needed, what's stopping her from being able to obtain mutant powers that way? The whole point of the story is that mutants have glitches IN THEIR DNA that gives them powers and/or physical deformities.

Sooooo, there's some bugs to work out. Honestly, I really want to get Mystique to work so I can have Devon actually using his morphing abilities in the comic. However, on the boards Ron almost NEVER has Devon use his shape changing, even though Hubby established it as the primary power over flame manipulation. I think Ron has had Devon use it four times over the last three years. Meanwhile, Devon's always playing with his fire powers. So, would it be THAT much of a loss to cut Devon down to just the flame manipulation like his dad, and cut out Mystique entirely?

I guess I'll leave that decision up to Ron since Devon is his character.

Ron might be a bit too busy to figure that out right now, though. He bravely went back to Please, Let Me Explain in order to see the edits I've done over the past month or so since he last checked in. Aaaaaaand this was his reaction....

Ronoxym: Oh, dear christ... I just pulled up PLME. The last time I looked at it we were only up to 19 pages. WTF!?

Uh, yeah.... it's now up to 27 pages. I suck at this whole editing thing.

Ronoxym: yeah. btw, did you know that it takes like 3 minutes to fully load the document right now?

I'm actually going to steal a Facebook sticker for this one since I haven't made a LycoRogue emote for it yet....

Sorry, Ron. I am HORRIBLE with this "brief story" thing! It bugs me too that it's nearly at 30pages already and we're not even done.

Worst part is I don't know if I'm about to make it shorter or another three pages longer. Followers of my blog might recall that I mentioned about a month ago that I discovered a major plot hole in our story. Reworking that plot hole may completely redo six full pages. We may be able to keep bits of it, or none of it, or almost all of it; I'm not sure yet. Then we have the separate section I wrote in an attempt to fix the plot hole. That is another three pages or so, but I hit a brick wall that Ron never meant for me to even get to. So, editing out that part might shorten this separate bit. Which means when we insert it in to the main file of PLME I don't know if it's going to be two pages, three pages, more, or less. And based on how the insert ends will determine how much of the plot holed six pages we can keep. At the very least, unless Ron changes or deletes a lot of what I added, we know the story is currently 20pages long.

So. Friggen. Good. At. This.

That's my kinda-sorta-maybe-maybe not productive week. I came up with a new character rework; kinda. I ran my head in to the wall with PLME and grumbled about how I want to kill it with fire. Still kinda do. And then I spent the last three or four days off in the emo corner because.... writing funk.

I'm once again at the "do I even know what I'm doing" part of my writing roller coaster. We'll see how long this dip lasts this time.

This upcoming Monday, Ali Luke is starting this year's Summer Writing Challenge over on Writers’ Huddle. I want to participate, but I have no clue what my six-week writing goal should be; let alone the suggested "weekly goals to build up to the six-week goal."

AngelBlood666 suggested that I put all of my open projects on the back burner for the challenge. Start fresh in order to re-energize myself. It's a good idea, but I really can't think of anything other than X-Future or Gyateara right now. I'm afraid if I try to do something completely different I'm just going to be pissed that I can't think of anything during the whole challenge.

Then again, a new thought DID sort of pop in to my head while watching the nearly endless promos for Disney Pixar's "Inside Out" movie. Mostly, that I'm a bit bummed that I didn't think of that concept first since a very similar one keeps nudging me every time I see the promos. Instead of personified emotions running around in the main character's head, the main character is a writer and those "little voices" are actually her characters. I know it happens frequently with me and the X-Future Girls: Lia, Willow, and Trish. In fact, each girl almost acts like the emotions presented in "Inside Out": Willow is Joy, Trish is Anger, and Lia is Sadness.... sorta.

I don't know if I can come up with a full narrative with this concept since there isn't really an ongoing plot. Plus, as I mentioned, Pixar is JUST releasing a nearly-identical idea using emotions instead of book characters. Then there's a semi-similar live-action movie that came out years ago about an author accidentally writing a novel about an actual person: "Stranger Than Fiction."

It might be fun to try my hand at comic book writing again. Maybe come up with a new strip script every week during the challenge. Could be fun.

Then again, I COULD use the challenge as a real push to finish a major portion of X-Future world building.

For the reboot I have the following list of Marvel Canon Characters that I need to make original reworks of:

1. Kitty "Shadowcat" Pryde
2. James "Wolverine" Howlett, AKA Logan
3. Remy "Gambit" LeBeau
4. Jamie "Multiple Man" Madrox
5. Amara "Magma" Aquilla
6. St. John "Pyro" Allerdyce
7. Charles Xavier

And to a lesser extent:

Pietro "Quicksilver" Maximoff - mostly for the dynamic I had set up between him and Trish, but I could transfer that to a completely original character

Raven "Mystique" Darkholme - who is either a major character or not relevant at all; see above.

I already have Jamie more-or-less finished, which leaves six more canon characters that I need to really get cracking on finishing the rework of; some I didn't even start reworking yet. So, maybe I can use this challenge to force myself to rework one of the above characters each week so that they're all done by the end of July.

Which challenge should I choose? I have until Sunday to decide. If you guys think I should lean one way or another, please let me know in the comments.

Trish's Fangirling Helps Inspire

To start, although my wrist still gets sore and stiff, it doesn't hurt nearly as much as it did the past two weeks. I'm not sure if I should cheer for finally healing, the new athletic tape I'm using to bind it, or a combination of the two.

However, I WILL sing the praises of KT athletic tape. If you want to get fancy with the patterns and colors, it can get pricey, but if you stick with the basic colors like I did, it's actually not too bad. I can use the tape for multiple injury types - which means Hubby can use it too for his knee if/when it acts up - and I can wear the tape for a few days without worrying about getting it wet. Fantastic when you're in a job where you have to wash your hands and/or dishes a lot.

The KT Tape site has instructional videos to show you how to properly bandage each injury with their tape. Which is another bonus. I have little baby wrists, and so when I wrapped my wrist as tight as I needed with a brace or ace bandage I usually cut off circulation to my hand. The bonus with the KT Tape is the video showed me how to bind it so I had the compression on the wrist I needed, but without turning the wrap into a tourniquet.

But enough of that.

My writing is doing about as well as my wrist: getting better, but still far from where I'd like it to be at.

I tried the Two-Hour Rule a couple more times this week. I'm still promptly passing out during each attempt. Maybe I should stop scheduling writing time and keep what I've been doing: ignoring the TV and just write when I'm bored. At least, until I've destressed and/or caught up on some sleep.

The "working on stuff when bored" method seemed to do a bit better for me this week. I went through the current troubling section of Please, Let Me Explain yet again, this time trying to pinpoint exactly when the story goes askew and ignores Willow's argument from the beginning of the story. I think I might have it down. Problem now is that I actually love the scene as-is, and I really hate having to rewrite it.

So, for posterity sake, I'm dumping it here. Minor spoiler for those who have been reading, but nothing that would truly ruin the story.

Willow’s face wasn’t warm and accepting like he anticipated. Her eyes were red and glossy, and she was biting hard enough on her lip that it split in the center. She stared him down for a few seconds before her entire body twitched. She ran her fingers through her hair and shook her head. “No. I’m sorry, but I just don’t know how I can believe you, let alone trust you.”

Devon’s lungs couldn’t hold any air for the next few seconds as he watched her step behind her door and slowly close it on him. His brain was screaming at him Words! Find words! Say something, dammit!

The clamoring onlookers dispersed back into their rooms. They knew it was over.

Devon wasn’t going to cave that easily, though. He pressed back against the door and called in to her, “Willow, isn’t there anything I can say or do to prove that I’m telling you the truth?”

“Devon.” He could feel her breath against his arm. She was leaning against the door again. “We’re done here.” She put a little more pressure on her side and Devon strained to keep the door ajar.

“Please. Willow, please. Don’t do this. I’ll do whatever you want. Whatever you need. Just please, trust me again. I need you to believe I didn’t abandon you guys; didn’t betray you! There has to be something that I can do.”

A soft echo ricocheted throughout the inside of his head. Four words repeated and overlapped each other like a creepy chorus whispering to him. He must have heard the sentence twenty times within the span of five seconds, each one getting louder and clearer. Then, it rang out once more. It was obviously Willow’s voice, and obviously in his head: “I wish there was.”

“Woah!” Devon jumped away from the door and it latched shut. Pressing himself against the wood he called back through to her. “Willow, what the hell was that?”

“That was my door shutting in your face,” she replied. Her voice was again stern and cold.

“Not that! The head thing.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Just now, when I-” Devon gripped his temples as Willow’s voice again ripped through his mind, “Head thing? That’s it. Maybe if I read his thoughts…”

Eyes wide, he started slapping the door to get her attention. “That! What you just did!”

With a stage sigh, Willow whipped the door back open. She cocked an eyebrow as Devon wildly continued to gesture at her. “Oh my god! What is your problem? Psycho.”

“You were in my head! I heard you!”

She was motionless. She didn’t blink. She didn’t breathe. With all the other weirdness that could happen at the mansion, Devon was half-convinced time froze.

Well, sadly, rewrite it I must. This is where that speech I wrote for Devon a little while back comes in. Instead of pleading that there must be some way that he could prove to her that he's innocent, he comes at Willow full-force. Basically yelling for her to get out of her Emo Corner and realize she's not the only one hurt by what happened over the past two years. If you look at in on paper, Devon clearly had the rawer deal. Yet he still wants to make amends and restart their friendship. If he could get over everything, why the hell can't she?

Granted, in the speech by itself I ended it with Willow not really having an answer and Devon giving up; signalling that their friendship is indeed over forever. So, I need to work on that ending as well so I can get back to the whole point that Ronoxym came up with over a year ago: Willow's romp around Devon's head.

It was supposed to be so simple. She would confront him at the cells, use telepathy for whatever reason, Devon would plead for her to use it to see that he was innocent, and then the POV would switch to Willow as she went on a tour of Devon's subconscious and memories. Sadly, I derailed that horribly, which turned what should have been a seven-page short story in to a 40-some page tale.

I'm so good at this, guys!

The worst part is that the whole point of writing the speech was to fill the plot hole Ron and I made. However, the Angry Devon interjection I wrote almost derailed us again! Hopefully, with all of this struggle to try to get Willow to agree to read Devon's mind, once we finally get this part perfect the whole thing will feel natural and organic. We won't ignore earlier arguments; even though the scenes that follow are so much fun. We won't make it feel rushed and a strong-armed plot point.

Still need Ron's official input on it, though. I should have asked him when he and Cyhyr visited last night. I guess I just got so absorbed in to the fact that I was socializing with a lot of people this week. Wheeee!

Hubby and I also started up a new anime this week. I'm so glad we did, because I think I have the inspiration for my X-Future Reboot version of Pyro and The Brotherhood. One of the first characters we're introduced to in the anime "K" or "K Project" is a red-head named Mikoto.

TRISH started fangirling in my head. TRIIIIIISSSSSHHHHH. The hard-ass, tough-as-nails, only-has-eyes-for-Pyro, psycho bitch that takes residence in my brain.

This crazy chick!

Well, that got my gears running. Mikoto just seemed PERFECT for Trish. Honestly, with the vibrant red hair and pseudo-punk look, he almost looked like a male version of Trish. Then he used his powers!

I don't know if it is ACTUAL fire that he's using, the whole powers thing is a little vague, but it at least LOOKS like fire, and it heats metal. Close enough!

Yeah, this is fanart, but you get the idea...

Then it was revealed that Mikoto was in charge of a group that called themselves Homra. They're a step up from a typical street gang - at least one member owns a classy bar that they use as their headquarters - but they're not to the point of Mob-like Organized Crime. Homra is violent and vengeful. In other words, it's pretty much EXACTLY what I was picturing X-Future Reboot's Brotherhood equivalent being.

I mean, come on, even the chibi versions are adorable!

  

And below is what Chibi Trish looks like next to Chibi Mikoto. It looks a bit weird because it's two different chibi stylings, and so Trish looks a lot more like a kid than she should, but height wise it's about right:

So, let's face it, Mikoto is a near-perfect match for what I was picturing. Neat! I just need to make sure my version of Pyro isn't a carbon-copy of Mikoto either. To be fair, though, while I love the cool and collected air that Mikoto has, it's a bit too relaxed for Pyro. Not by much, but juuuust enough. Also, we're only about two episodes in, so we don't really KNOW Mikoto that well. Based on what I've seen so far - and what I've found while looking for the above photos - I don't think Mikoto has Pyro's personality. So, I need to put Pyro's personality in Mikoto's body and switch some things up to make him more original.

And thus, I decided to mess around on the same chibi maker I made Trish on. It's not exactly what I was picturing, but it's close enough of a base. I present to you, Ignatius "Iggy" [insert last name here]. My version of Pyro.

He's a bit too "teen-like" in this chibi version,
but it's the best I can do right now.

And this is how he looks next to Trish. Again, it looks weird with them both looking like kids, but it's just a base idea of how Iggy will look.

Now to figure out what he calls his group. So much to still decide on and so much world building to do, but I'm slowly chipping away at it.

I'm going to try to have more for you guys next week; and on time.

Great New Advice Site, But Don't Fear Ignoring Harmful Advice

20,000 hits! Well, OVER 20,000. Still don't know how many READS that translates to, but it's still awesome that people have at least found my blog about 20,000 times.

Roughly 20,000 times people have come to read how I've been doing with my writing. Come to read my struggles and how I overcame them. Come to see my growth. Come for my encouragement. Come for my insight. And that insight is what I'll be presenting today.

See, I once again failed to really put anything to paper this week. I've been sore from my wrist injury a few weeks back. I've been sore from exercising a bit harder than I should have; mostly due to excitement over nice weather FINALLY being here coupled with guilt over not really exercising over the LOOOOONG winter months. I've been exhausted with a full work week; a TRYING work week where - I must admit - I've nearly quit about nine different times; six of which were from the same day. I've been exhausted because - for one reason or another - I haven't been able to get to bed before 1am three nights in a row.

While I did have a social high point in being able to hang out with Ronoxym, Cyhyr, and another couple that I met at the beginning of the year: Mouse and Bear, the rest of the week was a stupid waste. Aside from having a pretty decent "cleaning day" yesterday, my production level was about 5%. I wrote last week's blog post, I made minor advancements on the X-Future board, and I did some more naming research last night. Whoooo....

Okay, enough complaining. How does any of this relate to the supposed "insightful post" I was going to share with you? Give me a couple minutes. I'm getting there, I swear.

On Thursday I read Ali Luke's grand return to blogging after being on maternity leave: There’s Never Enough Time to Write: Here’s Why.

While she was giving her own great advice on the subject she shared a link to the blog Productive Flourishing. A fantastic blog that tends to lean towards writing advice - since it is written by a writer; doi - but is presented that the advice can be used for nearly EVERYTHING. All-in-all, another great blog that I strongly recommend adding to your reading list.

The post Ali linked to was about The Two Hour Rule as a way to push through projects. Sadly, every time I've attempted this during this week I've passed out....

Well, while I was reading Charlie's insight about breaking projects down in to 2hr portions, I ended up getting lost in some of his links. Much like Cracked.com, Charlie tends to write one post with about seven others in mind, and links to them as he references them in passing. Which means, much like with Cracked.com, I bring up about three more pages every time I read one. Getting me lost for hours... Ironically, Charlie has a post precisely advising AGAINST such tactics: Use the Two-Tab Rule to Stay Focused

Point is, I found about three more articles on Thursday that I shared with my Struggling Writers Society group. The first is something I'm guilty of, as is Ron - although, I don't know how helpful Charlie's advice is for someone with ADHD...
Stop Shuffling and Start Creating

Sure, shuffling helps me out with at least the ILLUSION of being productive all the time - "Don't have ideas for X-Future? How about I think about my High Fantasy story? No? My Hey Arnold fanfic? Or maybe adapt more of the X-Future board to prose?" - but it DOES result in me having SIX open projects and nothing getting completed.

Then there's Charlie's concept of the Idea Garden. Now, ChibiSunnie and I call ours Plot Bunny Farms, but I like Charlie's more generic term for the same concept being used outside plotting out fiction.

The final article I shared with everyone is where my own insight comes in; sorry for the slow crawl to this: Stop Lying and Start Creating

This article had me actually sobbing a little bit. Mostly because of how true it is: I do "overly research" as a way to "pretend" I'm productive. Just check everything I've written so far about this week to see my point. I mean, right now I'm talking about all the information I gathered by reading other people's blogs. I'm probably a master at the "excuses for not writing" department:

• I'm so far behind on my latest crocheting project
• This house is a disaster
• I'm learning how to improve via blog posts
• I can't seem to get in a comfortable/creative spot with my laptop the way it is
• My job is just too mind-numbing; I can't think of anything right now
• It kept forever to go through my Facebook notifications first
• I'm exhausted and passed out instead
• I should be exercising instead
• My computer lags so hard core!!!!
• etc, etc, etc

So, why do we do it? Why have the above list of excuses? Why spend six hours avoiding something, instead of just spending two hours doing?

Well, last fall I wrote responses to two different articles commenting about their thoughts on why writers might "Meta-do", as Charlie put it.
Procrastinate to Avoid Fear
Monkeys, Monsters, and Playgrounds

In short, the articles call out the battle of Pleasure Vs Fear of Failure. Truthfully, I consider myself one of the lucky ones. My main procrastination flaws due to fear are that I'm a "meta-doer" and that I favor Instant Gratification too much. I know some people that have slipped so far that they have stopped writing all together, all because of Fear of Failure. Sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy: they fear failing, and so they never push to succeed.

And that's the true tragedy. All the insight and helpful blog posts can't help with that. In fact, in some cases it might cripple people even more. As Charlie pointed out in "Stop Lying..." the more we research the more we might get scared that we're not on par with our peers. Adding to the fear. Adding to our self-doubt.

This week a friend of mine posted as a status: "It's kind of hard to be a writer when you haven't written anything in years."

Granted, this could have been a vague rant about a beloved author taking FOREVER to get the next book out, but I took it at face value: self doubt over one's authenticity as a writer.

I remember that moment. Heck, I've had that break down a few times throughout the course of this blog's lifetime. The major one, however, was when I believed my creative writing professor when he told me in college that I wasn't going to cut it. I went the next six years without writing anything recreationally. It was a dark time, but one I crawled out of.

So, stop doubting yourself. If researching is causing you to put-off the actual creative process - like I tend to do - then stop! If researching makes you fear that you're on a much lower level than the rest of your peers - again, a situation I find myself in, especially when I discover people have hit milestones while younger than me - then stop! If reading other people's works becomes intimidating instead of inspiring, then stop! If forcing yourself to create ends up enraging you more because it's too much of a struggle, then stop! If the advice you receive adds to the void because you don't think it can apply to you, then ignore it!

You need to find your own way, no matter how well-intentioned everything else around you may be. Sometimes you have to sink in to the non-writing abyss and turn off your brain to the creative until you're in a better spot in your life. Ignore that "you're wasting your talent" or that "maybe you're not meant for this creative career" or that "you'll never improve".

Those are more roadblocks that either you or well-intentioned friends/family are putting in front of you. True, you won't improve if you let your talent grow dust and rust. I know that first-hand in regards to my production training. However, don't let that worry or fear bog you down any further. Once you're out of your slump - however long it lasts - you'll work on your craft because it's your PASSION again, and you'll start improving THEN. Don't force it NOW if it brings you more anguish than joy.

I think the bit of advice I read the most in regards to concurring procrastination is basically: "If it's important to you, you'll find time for it." While it is sage advice, I feel it's also the most hurtful advice out there. Does that mean parents who have to work 16hrs a day to make ends meet don't think their children are important? If they did, they'd find the time for them. Does that mean someone who is working full time AND trying to earn a degree no longer finds friendship important? Because if it still was then the working student would find time for friends too.

Granted, those were EXTREME examples, but it works on a more minor scale. Is my health not important to me since I don't find the time to work-out as much as I should to get to a better state of wellness? Or because I don't find the time to cook healthier meals?

Or... is writing not important because I'm not putting enough effort in to finding the time to work on it? I didn't do anything terribly productive writing-wise in May.

At its core, "if it's important, you'll find time" is indeed good advice. I'm sure spending three hours a day on Facebook or watching TV isn't more important to me than writing. I'm sure if I took the advice the way it was intended I would re-prioritize and - SURPRISE - find time to write because it's important to me.

Still, if you're already in an "Am I Really A Writer?" mindset, having someone call you out about it not being at the top of your to-do list can really sting. Instead of the intention of "rework your priorities" it sounds more like verification that what you thought was important actually isn't, otherwise you'd be doing it already.

So, keep this in mind while you scour the rest of the internet for advice on how to pick yourself up by the bootstraps.

Not all advice is for all people. Everything is circumstantial and context is largely in the mindset of the receiver. The best we - the advice givers - can do is go as generic as possible and hope to hit home. However, if advice EVER makes you feel worse about yourself, just ignore it and find something else.

For instance, at the top of this post I commented that the article about shuffling may not be as helpful to Ron as I would hope, simply because with his ADHD he might not be able to help but shuffle projects. Maybe creating an Idea Garden or Plot Bunny Farm isn't enough to help him focus. Perhaps reading the article that makes something so difficult for him sound so simple ends up upsetting him; and anger him that he can't control the ADHD. If that's the case, then he needs to ignore the advice I handed him and instead figure out what DOES work for him, and then stick with that.

Obviously, with all things, the "ignore what doesn't fit" advice should be used in moderation. You're not going to magically master something overnight. Some things you just may never be good at, no matter what. Sometimes the hard truths of reality are exactly what you need to hear, so don't ignore EVERYTHING just because it's hard to hear/read. Same goes for allowing a "creative slump." If you're there simply because "practicing is too hard" then you need to push through. Everyone is crappy at first, but you WILL improve with practice. It may not be easy to spot day-to-day, but go ahead and check out what you made a few months ago; a year ago; a few years ago. See the progress you've made then?

Anyway, I'll trust you guys can use your judgment to figure out which advice is "hard to swallow, but needed" and which is "harmful and should be ignored." I'll also trust that you guys will know when you're "avoiding practice" and when you "need to step away from your talent for a while."

Just know that I do have faith in you and your creative dreams. Push through, look for encouragement, but don't fret if you have to put it on the back-burner for years on end. You are still that creative, and you'll enjoy it all the more once it's a passion again.