Friday, June 30, 2023

Found-Family Feud and Caring for Spirits

Est. Read Time: 29min

Why, hello, everyone! Coming in under the wire yet again. Like, MAJORLY under the wire! I was visiting my mom the past three days (note on that at the end of the post), and time to go online to finish and publish this post has been very limited. On top of that, due to massive construction traffic made worse by Independence Day traffic, Hubby and I didn't make it home until nearly 10pm tonight! So... while you probably won't see this post until July 1st, know that it WAS published before midnight on the 30th. Still counts as my 1 blog post per month.... right???

 

 

I'm still way burnt out, and just haven't really written anything. So I didn't really have much to talk about again (or, so I thought...). I kept pushing back working on this post in hopes that SOMETHING would come up. Nothing ever did. It just hasn't been a very conducive month for writing or any sort of major creativity.

My first struggle was me still recovering from having bronchitis. Then, it was trying to breathe through the Canadian wildfire smoke finally making its way down to my area.

This was June 6th, at the local laundromat, with no filter. In fact, the sky seemed even MORE yellow to my eye than it shows in these pics.

These were taken at 2pm! Even with us wearing our masks - a practice we never gave up since covid hit - my husband, who is allergic to most trees, could barely breathe. As soon as you opened the front door you were hit with the intense smell of a campfire. It smelled good to me, since I adore the smell of campfires. For someone who can't breathe around trees, however???? Yeah, he was coughing almost as soon as he stepped out the door.

Even when we were inside a grocery store for an hour, and on the opposite end from the doors so the smoke shouldn't be wafting in far enough to hinder his breathing, he was wheezing. Turned out, just standing outside for less than three minutes - between walking to the car from the house, to the laundromat from the car, back to the car, and then from the car to inside the grocery store - was enough for our masks to be caked with smoke. Not enough to be visible, especially on his black mask, but enough to leave visible traces of soot on the paper towel he used to clean off his mask before heading back to the car! And yet we had neighbors that were just chilling on their front porch in this - no mask - for the two hours we were gone!

The haze wasn't as bad the next day, but it was still bad enough to keep affecting Hubby's breathing, and mine a touch since I had just recovered from a lung infection.

Screenshot from AirNow.gov

June 8th wasn't much better, but at least it wasn't as bad as it was down by my mom and sister. They were in the purple and even maroon! Thankfully, the air was finally back down the yellow "moderate" by June 9th, and green "good" by the 10th.

Now, here we are again, with Hubby still trying to recover from last time, and we're back in the red due to the wildfire smoke! Also, it's apparently wafted all the way to Portugal now!?

If you are somewhere still dealing with this smoke, or dealing with similar wildfire smoke, PLEASE be careful.

Jumping to June 20th, I made a point to have a one-on-one hangout with my niece (much to my nephew's dismay, but he'll have a one-on-one hangout with me in July). Then I worked 4 days straight with the coworker that rarely stops talking, so trying to focus and concentrate on writing wasn't going to happen at work.

This month also brought us ever closer to the conclusion of Miraculous season 5. We only have the two-part finale left! And that should be airing internationally in just a few HOURS from when I published this! I won't give any spoilers, but I'll continue to rage that this season somehow simultaneously has some of the best writing and worst writing of the series. Even within the same episode! The other day I watched a couple of episodes with Wolfhearted, and pointed out the parallels with an earlier episode, and how amazing the writing is for including those parallels. Only to then rage a few minutes later that the whole plot of the episode doesn't make sense and that character reactions felt out-of-character. Only to then turn around and enjoy some of the more significant character developments and arc advancements within that same episode I had just been complaining about!

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by Yanare Ku

The season has taken forever, but has also sprinted by. It's hard to remember all the episodes that happened this season, because early-season episodes feel soooooo long ago now (I mean, they DID start airing in September, but that's not much longer than cartoon seasons used to be in the 90s). I can't imagine how they can wrap things up in just two more 30-minute episodes, and I'm nervous, but also super excited????

It's inspiring me to write more, but it's also exhausting me to the point that I have no energy to work on my WIPs, but also also... I want to write fix-it fics (stories that "fixes" the canon story)... which also means not touching my WIPs. So.... yeah...

It's a little bit of a whirlwind of emotions for me right now. Makes me a little glad I didn't join the one event last month. Over on Tumblr, there was an event being promoted. A way to give people accountability to push through and finish their dang WIP. You had until the end of April to sign up. You then had until the end of August, I think, to finish your WIP and publish it online. Between May 1 and Aug 31, you had check-ins you had to hit. Submitting a summary of your story, then submitting sample scenes, and then checking in with half your story complete, etc. As mentioned, these check-ins were supposed to add accountability so people are more likely to push through their doubt and writers block in order to just get the story done. The next-level push, though? Each writer would be paired with an artist. The story summaries would be provided to the artists so they can pick the story that best resonates with them. Then the scene samples are bits you'd want the artist to possibly create fanart for. Now, to clarify, the artists aren't specifically ones that draw art. They could be crafters as well, or AMV editors, or actors/directors/animators, or musicians. The fanart of your work could be the traditional drawing, but it could also be a fiber craft, or an animatic, or a song, etc. Either way, it's real cool! A great motivator to know you're GUARANTEED fanart of your work by the time you're done.

It was suuuuuuper tempting to sign up. Really give me the push I needed to at least finish Seduce With Caution before hitting that 2yr mark. However, I felt so drained and burnt out that I knew having those deadlines would be less motivational and more stress-inducing. Especially when it means I'd be holding someone else (the artist) up. Also, I wasn't sure even what scenes I'd WANT fanart of out of my story. I'd find it so hard to pick. On top of that, while it's cool to HAVE the fanart of my story, the fact that someone made it because they signed up for an event instead of being inspired enough from reading it to feel compelled to create fanart.... I dunno. Hits different. Even if they are still getting inspired based on what you've provided....

In the end, I felt like it would be more overwhelming than anything else, so I opted out of the event. I'm kind of glad now. I just haven't been feeling WRITING anything lately, sadly.

Doesn't mean I'm not still CONSUMING content though. For starters, the Raymond Romanov vs Lang Buddha saga is still going strong over on NoPixel (Well, actually, it may have finally wrapped up this week, but I'm a few days behind sooooo). I was going to recap what else happened between those two characters, but my first draft ended up being 11 pages long for just this recap section!

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So... uh... yeah... let's see if I can condense that recap any further. A lot of details and nuance will be removed, but if you're truly that interested in the story you can look it up yourself. A lot of the highlights are on Ray__C's YouTube channel. You can also check out Ray__C's, Buddha's, or AnthonyZ's Twitch channels to get a bit more of the story.

Okay, to recap what I told you last month:

  • Ray__C's character Raymond Romanov was a sworn brother of Buddha's character Lang Buddha. Raymond was a member of Lang's gang the CLeanbois (CB), and the two of them - along with fellow members Harry, Tony, Yuno, and Jean Paul - pooled finances to buy an in-game mansion dubbed the CLean Manor.
  • Lang then created The Guild, a shadow organization, and Cerberus, a legitimate parent company for all of his many businesses; much like how Lex Luthor and Wilson Fisk (Marvel's Kingpin) also have legitimate companies to hide their criminal activities. Raymond and Tony jointly created the street racing gang Redline, a group that Tony now mostly runs by himself with Raymond being a silent partner, as it were. And Raymond created the gang Raymond's Unfortunate Scuff Team, aka RUST.
  • Raymond made a key rule for all RUST members: Lang and the other CLeanbois were off limits. They were Raymond's found family and all RUST members are to treat them as such. The city also knows of Lang's golden rule: you do not cause trouble on his property; you do not give the cops a reason to come uninvited.
  • Earlier in the year, the RUST member G Baby was arrested after his truck filled with gun parts was found parked at Lang's prized business: The Rooster's Rest, a restaurant and the first legitimate business he owned. Lang's golden rule was broken, but Raymond convinced Lang to let G Baby live; banishing him from the city instead. This was probably what caused the rift in their relationship.
  • Early May, while Ray__C was away at a music festival for the weekend, four RUST members unintentionally caused problems at Rooster's Rest again. Raymond's in-game adopted son Maxine called for backup when a customer Elfy started talking shit about RUST and threatening to not only kill Raymond but also get away with it, because she could just hide behind Lang and she knew no one from RUST would touch her. Irritated with the woman's disrespect, newest RUST member Kate kidnapped Elfy, but accidentally did so while still on Rooster's property: the lower parking lot. Lang's golden rule is broken a 2nd time in only 2 or 3 months.
  • Raymond had a meeting with Lang, Lang's right hand man Harry, and the CEO of Rooster's Rest Penny. Due to Penny twisting the events of the kidnapping, Lang and Harry wanted blood, but Raymond protected Maxine and Kate.
  • A couple of days later, Lang requested Raymond bring Maxine to CLean Manor for a parley. Raymond reluctantly agreed, but was betrayed by Lang and Harry. They had hidden Speedy - Lang's oldest friend and probably the only person he truly thinks of as a brother - in a secret passage. Then the three of them ambushed Raymond, tranquilized him, handcuffed both him and Maxine, and then kidnapped Maxine with the intent to torture and execute him.
    • Reminder that on NoPixel characters don't actually stay dead after "executions" unless the player wants to permanently kill off the character. Regardless, the threat is still very much roleplayed with the appropriate gravitas as if it were a permeant death.
  • There was a huge shoot-out at CLean Manor as RUST members broke in to rescue Raymond and Maxine. Everyone that was at the Manor was shot down, but neither Raymond nor Lang actually shot at each other (they had their friends do the "honors" instead).
  • Lang called Raymond and basically told him the two of them were through. The rivalry was now official.

Now, to get into what has happened since my last post!

  • Despite Lang declaring the two of them no longer brothers, Raymond no longer a CLeanboi, and that the Manor was no longer Raymond's home, Raymond still didn't want to fully betray Lang. He refused to shoot him, told the RUST members that they were to only defend themselves and not actively hunt for Lang, Harry, or Speedy, and Raymond still wasn't willing to work with cop character Brian Knight in getting enough dirt on Lang to officially lock him up for good. Raymond isn't a snitch, after all.
  • Wanting to retaliate, but wanting to do so legally so the law would be on their side, RUST set up a free food truck event on the street (public property) right outside of Rooster's Rest where RUST gave away free food from all of the competitor restaurants in the city. This caused Penny to close down Rooster's for the day.
  • The next day Lang, Harry, and Speedy all decided to retaliate. They first tried using a Cargobob, a military-like helicopter capable of picking up and transporting vehicles. While Harry and Speedy were on rooftops across the street and shooting at the food truck workers, Lang scooped up one of the food trucks with the Cargobob. Unfortunately, Buddha, Lang's player, is known for his game glitching out (our Scuff Lord!), and right on cue, the Cargobob glitched and crashed shortly after picking up the truck, blowing up both the helicopter and truck. Harry and Speedy were able to sneak Lang to medical care before getting caught, but his blood was still at the scene of the explosion. Later that same day, the trio got fellow CB member Denzel to join them in dropping helicopters onto the food truck event.
  • RUST was able to track Lang, Harry, Speedy, and Denzel down, and kidnap Speedy. There was a shoot-out, and RUST member MacGregor chased after Lang and Harry against orders from Raymond. MacGregor was able to take down Lang, but was shot by Harry in the process. Raymond got to them just as MacGregor went down. Raymond took out Harry, and then piled everyone into his car to get off-the-record medical attention.
    • While the game's mechanics does allow any character to revive any other character under certain circumstances*, Ray likes to stay in-character as much as possible and leads the roleplay to follow suit. Meaning, if your character doesn't have the medical background to be able to save someone IRL, then they aren't medically trained enough to revive a character in-game.
    • *those circumstances are (1) that your character is an on-call doctor or EMT, or (2) that the character that needs to be revived is in a designated "medical" spot. These "medical" spots includes the hospitals, an ambulance, or "grandma's" and "grandpa's" - two off-grid makeshift "criminal hospitals" a la mob doctor offices.
  • Despite Lang yelling that Raymond is dead to him and Raymond should leave him, Harry, and Speedy on the side of the road somewhere because he doesn't want Raymond's help, Raymond still tried to revive them. He called up the doctor who did the toxicology report on him after getting tranquilized at the Manor and begged her to come help. Cops found them at Grandma's before the doctor could get there, so they ran to Grandpa's. Only for the cops to find them there first again. They moved a 3rd time and Raymond accused the doctor of working with the cops. Meanwhile, RUST member Bruno was screaming that MacGregor was dying and they needed to leave Lang and his group to the cops. Raymond finally agreed after Bruno held the doctor at gunpoint to make sure she saved MacGregor first. In the end, all RUST members got caught and jailed for kidnapping the mayor, the doctor, and the doctor's in-game husband and sister who were with her. MacGregor and Bruno nearly left the gang; either on their own or by being forced out for insubordination.
  • Seeking revenge - but still following Raymond's rule to not harm anyone unless it's in self-defense - a few RUST members went to Cerberus to blow up people's cars. Somehow Harry's adoptive son Zaceed caught wind and hid in one of the trunks in the parking garage. When he caught RUST pouring gasoline on the cars he popped out of the trunk and started shooting. Nancy, one of Lang's deputy mayors and a higher-up at Cerberus, called the cops before joining in on the shoot-out against RUST. Despite RUST telling cops they were the ones getting shot at, the cops still saw them as the aggressors and arrested them.
  • RUST broke out of their handcuffs and started a police chase. During which, Lang got into his one-of-a-kind (as far as I know) armored car with mini-guns hidden in the headlights, and started hunting down RUST members that got away from the cops. By the time Raymond found out what was happening and was able to catch up with the chase, there was only 1 RUST car left (out of the initial 3 or 4 that went to Cerberus?). Raymond drove beside the cops yelling that his boys couldn't pull over and surrender because "that armored car is shooting at them!" (he still wouldn't call out Lang specifically). The cops told Raymond "we don't care" and spiked his tires despite him not doing anything to impede the chase aside from yelling to the cops that his boys needed protection. All members involved were jailed yet again.
  • With things escalating, his boys getting killed or arrested, RUST taking a bunch of losses vs Lang, and Lang being able to plant seeds of doubt in the ears of members like MacGregor and Bruno, Raymond asked for another parley. He was instantly uneased because Lang would only meet in the same Manor office that Raymond and Maxine were ambushed in. Harry was also purposefully antagonistic, and every time Raymond verbally defended himself Lang would yell to not disrespect Harry in his own house. Knowing he wasn't going to get anywhere, Raymond left without having the meeting. He simply vaguely threatened that Lang should keep a close eye on those he cares about. To which, Lang tried to call his bluff. This just pushed Raymond to unleash his gang.
  • As Raymond left the CLean Manor, he gave the go-ahead for his second-in-command Chem (short for his streetname: The Chemist) to follow through with his "Dark Knight" plan. Basically, it's the Joker's ploy in The Dark Knight to try to break Batman: kidnap two people Lang cares about, threaten then both, and tell Lang to choose which one lives. The twist is that RUST would kill the one Lang decided to save, but make sure the other saw that Lang didn't choose them. They were originally going to kidnap Nancy and Penny, as revenge for their parts in this war, but Penny wasn't "awake" (logged onto her character). So they grabbed the two deputy mayors instead: Nancy and Eve... despite Raymond actually liking Eve and having no qualms with her.
  • RUST didn't get a chance to follow through with Plan: Dark Knight. Nancy was serendipitously on the phone with Lang when RUST kidnapped her. Lang and Harry were instantly on the hunt for her and had the police out in full-force. There was a BANANAS police chase, that ended with a Last Stand fire-fight on a highway overpass, which included Raymond unknowingly shooting down Lang! Raymond and one of his high command Kiwi were the last two still standing before the shoot-out ended (by the two of them being downed almost at the same time). The fire fight ended up taking down something like 8 members (??) of RUST - including Raymond and Kiwi - along with their opposition: Nancy, Eve, Harry, Lang, and 20 out of the 22 cop characters that were logged on at the time!!!
  • Four out of the six RUST High Command (including Raymond) were jailed and put on HUT (Hold Until Trial). Considering this is a roleplay server and the judges aren't guaranteed to work a normal 9-5 Monday-Friday schedule, HUT is usually a multiple-day jail sentence. For these RUST members it ended up being about a week.
    • While most players will consider their jail sentence a "time out" and will either play another character or another game entirely, Ray__C decided to roleplay his time in jail. He and his fellow HUT RUST members could plot and plan in jail. Also, instead of leaving them to gather evidence and build a case on their own, Raymond could interact with his three lawyers - James Haze (whom he keeps on retailer), Grace Daniels (Haze's former paralegal, now Jr. Attorney), and Maya Mahmoud (honestly, I don't really know how she got involved...) - giving them good roleplay content as well.
    • Most of the RUST members were able to get out early on bail, but even that was a struggle. The cops and Lang had tried to taint the judge pool so there wouldn't be an uncompromised judge available for the bail hearing, let along the actual trial. The DOJ also horribly screwed up filing evidence, hid evidence, never took statements from RUST about Lang and company being the aggressors but took Lang's statements against RUST every time, never gathered evidence of Lang's involvement (such as the blood at the cargobob explosion, despite cops straight up stating that they found it there), and the prosecutor kept editing the official case filing on the docket without noting what was edited.
      • The reason I said "most" members got bail is because poor Perez - the MVP during the Manor shoot-out - was incorrectly processed. He was only given something like 3 days jail time instead of being put on HUT. So, when his time was up, he left jail. Since he was SUPPOSED to be on HUT, and it's hard to roleplay a game mechanic releasing him when he shouldn't be released - narratively speaking - the cops instead roleplayed it as a jail break to seek revenge against Lang, Harry, and CB member Tony. So he was thrown back in jail, confirmed he was placed under HUT this time, and wasn't given a bail hearing option.
  • The reason Perez wanted to hunt down Tony was because Perez's girlfriend (as in, the character's gf) Cassie was shot down by Harry. While RUST was awaiting a bail hearing, the unjailed RUST members and friends would spend nearly all day in the visitation room at the prison; keeping the HUT members company and making sure they were safe from Lang and company (who was indeed trying to break into the jail to kill Raymond). Despite Tony promising Raymond that he didn't want anything to do with the war between him and Lang and that he (Tony) would stay neutral, he also quickly agreed to plant a camera in the visitation room for Lang. So he went in under the guise of looking for Redline 2nd in command Goofy, and "just happened" upon Raymond. The two had a little chat while Tony secretly planted the hidden camera, and then Tony went back to meet up with Lang. Thing is, RUST hang-around and prospective member Nana caught Lang staking out the prison, so he had to move before she could get backup. In an attempt to get Tony's attention to show him where Lang moved to, Harry stupidly threw a smoke grenade at him. Ray__C has superhuman hearing or something, and so Raymond was able to hear the grenade go off from inside the visitation room. He sprinted out to check on things and to try and find guards to protect RUST's visitors, which consisted of Nana, Cassie, and 2 of Raymond's lawyers Maya and Grace. While Raymond was away, Lang and Harry checked the camera Tony placed, and Tony informed them that the lawyers were there because RUST was getting their bail hearing in 20min. Harry went full SBS*, basically said, "oh HELL no", grabbed an automatic rifle from Lang's car, raced into the visitation room without hiding his identity, asked the ladies where Raymond was, and then shot them all down. Outside the visitation building, Raymond and Perez heard the gunshots and sprinted back in, only to see the four ladies bleeding out on the ground (Harry had already went back outside).
    • *SBS is short for "small brain syndrome". I'm not entirely sure where the term originated. I also don't know how widely spread it is among gamers/streamers or the greater internet slang lexicon. It could very well be a strictly NoPixel term, or even one just used by a small group of people who are friends with Buddha and Ray__C, since those two definitely use the term. Basically, it refers to people who can't think of the big picture or the consequences of their actions (such as throwing a smoke grenade to get someone's attention or shooting up civilian characters without hiding one's identity); situations that are dumb for the sake of being silly, goofy, and dumb/entertaining; or the inability to keep up with a semi-complicated conversation/plot.
    • Since Perez saw Tony in the visitation room, knew he was a founding member of the CLeanbois with Lang, and Perez's girlfriend got shot moments after Tony left... he tied the two instances together and felt Tony was at fault. So he called up Tony in a rage and told him, "You f***** up! Run!" Which.... didn't make things easier on Raymond later when he called Tony (after giving a statement to the cops) to try to see what happened and ask if Tony was somehow involved.
    • The timing of everything really screwed over Perez, since his prison time ended when the cops were there for the shooting anyway. Him leaving when he technically - based on the narrative - shouldn't have been able to, and ESPECIALLY with him raging about his girlfriend being shot... well? It was easy for the cops already there to catch him and roleplay that it was a prison break. Whoops.
    • With 2 out of his 3 lawyers recovering in the hospital and his 4th one not "awake" (logged on), Raymond had to postpone his bail hearing. Once his lawyers could be present, Raymond and the other HUT RUST members (excluding Perez) were given a long police escort to the courthouse.

Ooof! This "abridged" version is STILL taking forever! And I still have over 2 weeks of content to recap! I think I'm going to pause it here. If you don't want to wait for me to catch you up next month, you can see the highlights on Ray__C's channel.

But I'm sure you can all see why this improv drama is so captivating to me and Hubby! I also appreciate how much everyone involved - Ray__C, Buddha, Harry's player Harry, AnthonyZ, Brian Knight's player dasMEHDI - has complimented the roleplay of the other players, talked about how fun the storyline has been, and has done their best to make sure this in-character conflict doesn't become toxic IRL; they're all still friends. Ray__C even puts in the effort to stress that the CLeanbois (referring to the actual players) are still very much great friends who will still play together, even if the in-game CB is falling apart.

I also appreciate how much Ray__C tries to bring roleplay to as many people as possible. He doesn't just have one lawyer, he has 3. He doesn't just play a different character or game while Raymond is in jail, he makes a point of still roleplaying with those lawyers, and RUST members, and even other jailed characters that he might not otherwise have interacted with. He brought in a bunch of "civilian" characters by way of the food truck event, assuming it would also be a bunch of SBS, and then getting surprised with Lang escalated to the point of straight up attacking the event and the characters involved. The players for Nancy and Eve even thanked Ray__C and the RUST players for coming up with the whole Dark Knight plan, as well as trying to bomb the cars at the Cerberus parking lot, because it brought them into this intense RP, and they were having a lot of fun getting involved.

Hubby and I really don't get why such a relatively small streamer (Ray__C averages about 3000 subscribers) gets soooooo much hate from the viewers and chat when nearly every streamer who has ever interacted with him has sung his praises. They all talk about how much fun he is to play with, how hard he works with his roleplay, how he puts in that effort to include as many people as possible in RP, and how he's just genuinely a nice guy.

I'm not entirely sure how this turned into a Ray__C stan blog, but... I'm cool with it.

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The other main bit of content I have been consuming is the game Spiritfarer. The long-and-short of the game is that you play as Stella, the new spiritfarer (a psychopomp), taking over the ferrying-to-the-afterlife duties from Charon. You're then tasked to find lost souls and care for them as they come to terms with their death and prepare for their passage into the afterlife.

The game play is in the same vein as most other management games. You have to gather and manage resources (although, once you've unlocked a resource it's not too hard to maintain a steady flow of what you need); manage the happiness of the spirit passengers by way of feeding them - but they do have different dietary restrictions, which you need to sort out - completing the tasks they ask of you, and giving them hugs... lots and lots of hugs; and manage the space on your ship as you add new buildings and expand your ship size. The game is chill and filled with tons of different minigames for every task you need to complete: fetch-quests to recruit new spirit passengers, harvesting various resource types, processing said resources in forges or kitchens or on looms, etc, and helping your passengers come to terms with how they lived their life and how they died.

There is a lot of heart, and the passengers each have distinct personalities. Some you will connect with greatly. Others, maybe it won't hurt as much to say goodbye. I know that it hurt when I had to ferry my first spirit through the Everdoor, the passage to the afterlife. It also hurt when I had to say goodbye to Summer and Alice. I also know it will hurt when I have to say goodbye to the jolly and playful Atul. Especially because, as my passengers currently stand, I'll be stuck with a BUNCH of characters that I may find amusing, but I am not emotionally invested in. Astrid is alright, but a bit blunt and brazen. Giovanni is a cad who thinks he's so smooth that he'll never get in trouble for his womanizing. Bruce and Mickey are cartoonishly 1920s mobster muscle. Beverly just seems overly demanding. The only one I might be sad to see leave - as it stands - is Gustav, the eccentric museum curator. And that's mostly because he reminds me of Blathers from Animal Crossing. Gustav is even a bird of prey: taking on the form of a peregrine falcon when he joins your ship.

Oh! Yeah, I should mention, when you first meet them, all spirits are vaguely humanoid with their form hidden under cloaks. Once they join your ship, however, they transform into their "true" form: a humanoid animal in most cases (but not all. At least 2 passengers keep a purely animal form, one takes on a mythical creature's form, one is a swarm of butterflies in a vaguely humanoid form, and one takes on the form of a humanoid mushroom)

Anyway, the story of Spiritfarer is lovely. It's calm and soothing. You can go at your own pace, although, some of the passengers do get a little pushy if you haven't completed your task for them, calling out your name and then telling you "don't forget to ___". As you do help these spirits, however, you learn of their rough lives and the traumas they're trying to work through. One had a neglectful and emotionally distant father, so they picked up smoking to try to get him mad enough to pay attention... only for them to then die of lung cancer and still estranged from their father. Another speaks entirely in metaphor, but I'm pretty sure they also lost a long battle against cancer after watching their father suffer the same fate. Another suffered from dementia. While I haven't gotten far enough to know how this spirit died, I have also learned that one used to hide Jews during WWII.

As you play through the game, not only do you learn about these spirits, but you also learn why they are the first ones for you to ferry to the afterlife:

Also, according to the notes on the Spiritfarer wiki, just about every spirit (if not every spirit) is based on a lost loved one of one of the developers. The whole game is just very chill. Very soothing. Very beautiful. But also, a lovely way to work through grief. I didn't realize when I got Spiritfarer how much of that last bit there was. Reminds me of a few years ago when I bought When the Past was Around. I thought it was a simple, gorgeous looking, point-and-click puzzle game love story that also talked about resparking a passion for a beloved hobby. The story is about that, but it's also about heartbreak and grief. Wasn't expecting that in that game either.

Anyway, if you want a vibe game that tackles the struggle of coming to terms with your mortality, and you don't mind a bunch of minigames, puzzles, platforming, and reading, I do highly recommend Spiritfarer. Added bonus? It's relatively cheap - running about $30 USD - and frequently goes on sale on top of that. It's also a relatively long game, taking an average of about 30hrs to play; longer if you're like me and get sidetracked easily doing the minigames. I'm something like 14hrs in and only about 37% done? So it averages to a $1 or less per hour of gameplay. Not too shabby, right?

Good lord. You'd think this blog post was sponsored between me gushing about Ray__C and NoPixel and me gushing about Spiritfarer... Let's move along, shall we?

Screenshot from The Muppet Movie

You may have noticed that I haven't talked about Scum and Villainy for a little bit. Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh.... About that.... My brain is just too fried to come up with more quests for the group. I feel a bit guilty that I didn't give everyone a heads up that the last session we had would be the last one for a WHILE, but... it is what it is. Add in the fact that I still feel like the character development of the crew isn't to the point where their End Game goals make sense yet (feels like I'm skipping difficulty levels). However, as far as their actual character sheets go? There's not much leveling they can still do. Unless I come up with a way to give them more things to level up, their experience points are going to cap out and mean nothing to them. So, there's a lot I need to sort through logistically with that.

In the meantime, I'd have to sort through those missions. Do I finally bring back those background story points? Is there something else they should be doing? The crew still hasn't met about half of the factions within the Procyon Sector the game takes place in. Do I start shoehorning those in???? I just couldn't sort any of it out.

So.... the crew and the game are both on hold. Instead, Hubby decided to tag in as Games Master. We haven't played Dungeons & Dragons since the pandemic hit, and we've all been itching to get back into that game. So Hubby offered to run a campaign for us. That way I can still work on SaV in the background, and I can tag us back in once I'm more prepared/Hubby is burnt out and needs a break. We can then keep tapping each other out.

As for his game, Hubby is doing a Game of Thrones-inspired homebrew. There's VERY limited magic, to the point where he rolled a percentile die to see how adapt we are with magic. Rozsavaria got something like a 94, so it's possible their character isn't even fully human. My character, on the other hand? Twenty-one.

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Yeah. She can't even handle slight-of-hand illusions. Woo! But.. since it was a 21, Hubby determined it was a lucky star, because... Black Jack! Eh. I'll take it.

Now, I had gone into character creation with two different concept ideas.

  • Concept 1: reboot my gnome character Elymoxa as a human. She'd be a small (about 5ft) spitfire agent of chaos. She'd be a prankster with endless energy and would take very little seriously.
  • Concept 2: the exact opposite of Moxie. She'd be larger (about 5'9") and muscular, and be basically the "mom friend" of the party. She'd be stoic and protective but will go into Mama Bear Mode if provoked enough.

I rolled to choose, and got Mama Bear. Cool. Now that I had my concept, it was time to answer Hubby's questionnaire!

He discovered this Mother of All Character Questionnaires while prepping his world build. He was able to whittle down the 383 questions to about 160 or so. Still a LOT and it still kept me about 3 hours to answer the questions. Even then, I had to skip over about 45 questions because I didn't know my character enough yet.

Fun little side note: I have decided to answer as many questions in that questionnaire as I can for each of my OCs. It will be QUITE the undertaking, but it might be fun. A way to get back into the heads of my OCs. I also didn't realize how MANY I have. I have five D&D characters: Amara, Jolene, Arianna Snow (an older character I haven't thought about in a while), Kriv (my dragonborn I played in Hubby's last game), and now my new D&D character for this campaign. Then there's the 3 X-Future girls: Lia, Willow, and Trish. Then the characters from my first attempt at NaNoWriMo: Connor and Natalie. The characters from the urban fantasy story I wrote for Ronoxym: Colton and Zetelica. Finally, my genderqueer OC that I was going to use for a couple of different RPGs, but never got around to really doing so: Artemis. This isn't including other D&D characters I've played once or twice, my vampire characters for the Vampire: The Masquerade rpg, or other such one-off characters.

Anyway, back to the D&D campaign Hubby's about to run. The concept is that we all start as NPC classes; our characters are not yet adventurers. As we roleplay he will unlock possible player classes based on how we play. The questionnaires also helped us sort out our characters and unlocked our initial class options. Based on my answers, I can either keep my character as an NPC or start her as (1) a Fighter, (2) a Cleric of the Mask (god of Death), or (3) a Cleric of the Candle (god of Life)... because "haha... the Luisa-clone gets her powers from a candle...". I debated keeping her an NPC class. The personality I gave her didn't seem to quiiiiite fit with Fighter (although I was kinda leaning that way), and Quarthix's character was already going Fighter anyway. Her biggest fear is death (specifically, a loved one's death), so being a cleric of the God of Death just didn't feel right. Not yet anyway. I may still go that route with her, but she'd need to work her way there. Cleric of the God of Life feels right, but I don't know if she'd be full-on cleric when she meets up with everyone else. Maybe she finally left home in hopes of becoming a cleric??? I'm hoping to sort that out more while building the official character sheet this weekend.

Going back to the option to be a Cleric of the Mask, and the reason why Hubby offered it in the first place. Hubby created a 9-god pantheon, and then put the name of each deity on separate index card. While we were answering our questionnaires, he had us pick two of the cards at random and choose one. I can't recall what both options were for me, but out of the two, I had decided on the God of Death because the other option wasn't even remotely close to something that could relate to my character. So... my character, who fears death, is ironically born under the Death zodiac sign, essentially. Neat. I love me my contradictory characters.

So, without further ado: my newest character.

Meet Aubrianne Zani. She's vaguely based off of Luisa Madrigal from Encanto (one of the reasons Hubby offered Cleric of the Candle... ha...), Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones, and the version of Link you play as in the game Twilight Princess. She's the eldest of 5 surviving children (two younger siblings died early in childhood), and took on a maternal role to help her mother with her younger siblings. She's super close with her eldest brother (the 2nd child) who also took on a paternal role with watching the younger siblings. She's stoic and extremely protective. She has no problem with killing animals for food or survival (self-defense), but hates the idea of harming a human and will attempt to do as little damage as possible to end a conflict. Also, much like Luisa and Link, she's a people pleaser and very community-oriented. So she does all she can to do odd-jobs around the town to help out the villagers. Move some logs before winter sets in? On it. Help raise a barn? No problem. Wrestle loose goats to the ground until the farmer can wrangle them? I gotchu. Knock out the highway men trying to rob the town? No need to even ask!

By the way, another fun note about Aubrianne? While prepping for character creation, I went to FantasyNameGenerators.com and grabbed 8 randomly generated names that I thought could work with my "Mom Friend" concept. The name options were:

Selray Zephifra Koreena
Nareen Tavra Zani
Lalnah Aubrianne

I had read off my table to the other players to see which name would be easiest for them to remember and/or which one they thought best fit my character design. Quarthix picked Zani because it would be the easiest for him to remember. Rozsavaria picked either Selray or Aubrianne. Since each of those names was in a different column (as shown above), I rolled to see which column to pick from, and ended up with the second column. So, Aubrianne it was. It wasn't until I went to bed that night did I realize, "Waaaaait a minute! Aubrianne is loosely based off of Brienne of Tarth! Dangit! I basically gave her the same name!"

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Ah, well... I figured her nicknames growing up would be Bri, Aubrey, Annie, or just her last name: Zani (yeah, since it was the easiest one for Quarthix, I figured I'd just make it her surname). The players could call her any of those names, and maybe the whole Brienne of Tarth thing won't be as noticeable....

Eh. We'll see how this goes. We're hoping to get our first session in on July 3rd!

Aaaaaand this blog post is creeping up on the 30min-read mark (and it's almost midnight!!!!), so I should probably wrap things up.

No one commented on my last few posts, so I still have no exterior input on the font change. I'm giving Mali a second month in a row. I THINK I like this one the best, but I'm still unsure. I'm still very much open to input. You have Mali this month and last month, Kalam in April, and Josefin Sans back in March. Please, feel free to comment below on which font works best for you. Or, should I go back to the Coming Soon font that I have used for the past five years or so?

Finally, let's all give my mom a huge congratulations! She's up to 28years of being declared cancer free! Happy anniversary, Mom! Keep going strong!

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Edited by LycoRogue

Also, for all of my American readers, happy Independence Day!

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Alright, everyone. Until next time!

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Tuesday, May 30, 2023

Vampires, Attorneys, and Gangstas... Oh, My!

Est. Read Time: 27min

Oof. I'm really getting this month's blog post under the wire again, huh? May has been.... trying.

Yes, there's been stressors and drama at work which has clogged up my creativity and hindered my writing time. I come home after work and just want to plop down on the loveseat next to Hubby and turn off my brain.

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To be fair, though, I can't blame that mindset ENTIRELY on work this month. I don't know how it is in other countries or other parts of the United States, but on the east coast, the pollen count has been INSANE. I've heard stories from multiple people in multiple areas that droves of people have been going to the doctor or urgent care or the emergency room worried that they have covid or bronchitis or some other serious respiratory infection. Only for the doctors/nurses/PAs to tell them it's just a severe allergic reaction to the record highs and record-long pollen season this year. People - such as myself - who normally aren't affected, or, at least not affected too terribly, are now being hit HARD with an allergic reaction. The air is just not very breathable.

Well, as mentioned, I was included in that lot. Except I did indeed contract bronchitis. It started late May 10th/early May 11th as a horrible scratchy tickle around my vocal cords. I felt perfectly fine aside from that intense itch making me want to cough in an attempt to clear my throat and "scratch" the vocal cord itch. These dry, intense coughs became so violent I would get massive pressure headaches from them. By the 14th I couldn't live with it anymore. The headaches were too intense and I woke up that morning with my dry cough now sounding mucusy. I set up an appointment with Urgent Care. I tested negative for covid, and the PA determined it was instead bronchitis. I got my meds later that day.

Monday, May 15th was the worst. Day two of calling out sick, and I spent most of the day lying face-down on the floor because, as uncomfortable as it was to lie on my stomach, it was also the only way to stop myself from constantly coughing. I also frequently had my head buried under pillows to try to counter the pressure build-up. I only ate because I needed to for my meds and I was DETERMINED to take those in a weak attempt to ease my symptoms.

Obviously, Scum and Villainy was again cancelled.

Tuesday, May 16th, I pretty much just slept all day; only waking to eat so I could take my meds.

Wednesday, I was feeling guilty about the fact that me being out sick either meant (a) one of my coworkers was doing an 8hr shift alone, or (b) neither of my coworkers could have their days off. Besides that, each sick day I took was more time out of my PTO that I had dog-eared for future vacations. I wasn't coughing so hard or as frequently, and I had more energy. So I donned my mask (which I do every day for work regardless), confirmed I still didn't have a fever (I hadn't had one the whole time), made sure I was well stocked with Lysol and hand sanitizer, and went back to work. Thankfully, it was a slow day and my coworker understood my lower energy levels. I joked that the coughing would have given me amazing abs over that past week if it weren't for all the sugar I was consuming from the constant sucking on hard candies to try to soothe my throat.

Thursday was my second scheduled day off, so I again mostly slept (or otherwise vegged next to the hubby on the loveseat) outside of eating and taking the last dose of my meds.

Friday I was done with my prescriptions and I felt mostly okay. Still a little weak from battling bronchitis, and I did still have the occasional cough, but at least it wasn't as violent/severe. I was able to finish off a work project that was understandably delayed a week while I recovered. By the time I got home, though? It was crash-on-the-loveseat time. And then you had the inevitable for head/chest colds: the symptoms come back 10-fold once the sun set. By about 10pm my head was splitting and I could NOT sit up any longer (even reclined). I had to be flat. I had to be on my stomach. I had to press the crown of my head into the cold bedroom wall.

Saturday? Sunday? Monday? Rinse and repeat. This illness was lingering. I was improving each day, but only incrementally, and I was HURTING by about 10pm and needed to be in bed.

Tuesday I slept until noon. I did the same when I had Thursday off. If I wasn't at work, I was pretty much in bed. Or, at least lying on my stomach across the living room floor so I could try to spend some time with my husband.

As you could imagine, this didn't leave much time or brain power for me to work on some writing (including working on this blog post).

Last Friday night I had pre-emptively cancelled this week's Scum and Villainy because I'm still recovering (I had also forgotten it was Memorial Day and people probably weren't going to be available anyway), I have had no energy to sort out a new session plot hook, and the pollen-plus-heat is starting to kick Hubby's butt too.

May has NOT been a good month to be creative (or healthy, apparently).

That said, I DID still manage to post something this month. Sunday morning, actually. I woke up waxing poetic about my hubby, and I strongly felt like Adrien would feel the same way about Marinette. The fic is super short for me. Not even 500 words! It's a two-minute read, but it's SOMETHING. So I'm proud of that.

Never Take This for Granted

Summary: Adrien awakes overwhelmed with gratitude to be married to Marinette.

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 420

• On ArchiveOfOurOwn           • On FanFiction
• On DeviantArt           • On Tumblr

This story has had the smallest 24hrs numbers of the last 6 stories I've published. Part of me gets it: Memorial Day weekend in the US, and that isn't the most eye-catching summary I've ever written. Part of me doesn't get it: I thought people preferred drabbles and ficlets they could tear through, and that's why my longer stuff wasn't getting read as frequently as other authors in the fandom.

Despite the lower visibility, this story has had the most positive ratio numbers. Highest percentage of people liking, bookmarking/following, and commenting after reading. So, that's neat!

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While I'm talking about my writing, I should have an important aside about my stories, and, specifically, Archive of Our Own (AO3).

I'm sure you're probably aware by now of ChatGPT and other such writing "AI" programs. I get why everyone is drawn to the novelty of it. It is reminiscent of the chat bots I used to play around with way back when AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) was a thing. I see a lot of streamers and online content creators getting sucked into the hype and having fun with it.

Please stop.

It may seem fun and harmless, but these "AI" generators are anything but. I was kinda screaming about this last year with the image generators like Craiyon and Dall-E. How these generators "learn" to create is by straight up plagiarizing the content that creators put their time, energy, heart, and skill into. There's a reason great art inspires us. We get a little bit of the creator's soul, and feel connected; seen. These generators get rid of that soul and boil everything down into an algorithm; calculating what art looks or sounds like.

Plus, ya know, the whole plagiarism thing. It'd be different if there was a generator that only learned off of prompts that creators willingly gave or were paid for. That's not what's happening a large majority of the time. It is art theft with millions of participants (the users of the generators).

With ChatGPT and other chat bots/writing generators, the same thing is happening to writing. It is one of the main sticking points of the negotiations the Writers Guild of America (WGA) is striking about. To save payroll and residuals (which are already insultingly minuscule), production houses like Disney, Warner Bros Discovery, Amazon, Netflix, etc want to have writing generators like ChatGPT check an algorithm of what would be statistically the most appealing story for the masses and then write scripts based off that data. Then have a single writer clean up the script as needed (re: last-second rewrites during production as changes need to be made to meet deadlines or unforeseen production complications). The human script "cleaner" would then go uncredited (which makes it exponentially harder to use that work on their resume in order to get their next job), would not qualify for residuals, and would be paid a pathetic salary to begin with.

It truly is something you would expect to see in a dystopian storyline - media for mass consumption being created by a computer algorithm - but this is the possible future of our visual entertainment. We're already seeing students also using ChatGPT instead of writing up their own assignments, and fanfic writers using ChatGPT to create/finish their stories in an attempt to just build up online clout.

I'll get back to the fanfic writers bit in a second, but first, the students. The biggest issue with this plagiarizing via ChatGPT is that the "AI" isn't infallible. Not by a long shot. It frequently just grabs any random old internet rumor and presents it as facts, or otherwise strings keywords together into a coherent sentence, but the "information" is a fabrication.

Case and point, the Super Carlin Brothers - Ben and J - had fun asking ChatGPT who each of their spouses were. They got back answers such as J being married to a voice actress that he MAY have met in passing at a YouTube convention (the actress's credits listed by ChatGPT were also completely inaccurate, btw), Ben's wife Alyce is actually his ex-wife and he's married to J's wife Beth, and the brothers are married to each other!

And yet, students are just taking the "facts" given by ChatGPT as bible! In a world where misinformation is spread so easily, it's scary that this generator and its ilk are making it EASIER to spread. Another example of this? The streamer Sykkuno reacted to an article that is the top Google search result about his net worth. Nearly every sentence within the article is inaccurate, contradictory, and - based on the tense changes and grammatical errors - was most likely written by a literature generator such as ChatGPT. The website still posted the "article" as if it were fact, with no indicator that it was "AI-Generated", and is the top result on Google!

Now back to fanfic writers, which also brings this whole thing back to AO3. It's been discovered that a LOT of the amateur creative writing ChatGPT is learning off of is from AO3. The generator - or, rather Common Crawl dataset, which ChatGPT is trained off of - gathers the fanfiction people work so hard to write and share - FOR FREE, mind you - and uses it to spit out new fics within that author's signature writing voice. Something that takes people AGES to develop for themselves.

But now, if you like the style of a specific fanfic writer, but they don't write for your fandom or haven't written a particular plotline you want to read, you can just have ChatGPT write it for you.

Kinda gross, right?

How can you help?

Well, step one would be to ask all of you reading this to STOP using ChatGPT and similar generators if you've already tried it out, and to avoid touching the thing if you haven't yet (same deal with image generators, btw). Again, I know it's a curious novelty and I understand the draw. I was excited when image generators came out because I suck at drawing and can't afford commissions, but I'm also a very visual person who would love reference pics. The thing is, these generators are actively harming creatives and could potentially destroy the whole scriptwriting career path (and potentially doing the same to reporters, given that "article" about Sykkuno). If you have ever once complained about how all shows and movies are the same and we don't have any original content, ChatGPT and the atrocious contract the WGA has been working with and is trying to renegotiate are large contributors to that (or could be, in ChatGPT's case).

Step two? A lot of fanfiction writers are locking down their accounts. If you don't have an AO3 account, you can no longer even SEE their stories, let alone read them. It's the best us little guys can do to try to hinder ChatGPT until a more ethical way of teaching the generator is developed.

I'm torn on this decision. I know that there are a growing number of you who do check in on my writing on AO3 but don't have an account. I don't want to block you from continuing to enjoy my content. However, accounts ARE free, and I can send out invites to those interested, in order to fast-track your account's approval. Even without my invite, though, most people get approved within a week or so of submitting their request to join the site. So, if you can, and haven't already, I do strongly suggest creating an AO3 account.

The other reason I'm hesitant is that I don't know how much it would protect me anyway. Since I also post my stories to Fanfiction.net, DeviantArt, and Tumblr, locking my AO3 account would only cut off one avenue and may not fully prevent my stuff from being scraped. On the other hand, it seems that those other sites might be so low-traffic comparatively that the generator hasn't started harvesting from them yet. At least, not for literature. On the OTHER other hand, if I do lock my AO3 account to only users, it will at least be one form of protection, and those who don't wish to have an account can still read my stories on the other three sites.

I clearly haven't made up my mind yet, but please be warned that I may be locking down my AO3 account to users-only in the near future.

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Okay. Enough preaching.

While this month has been mostly a wash when it comes to writing and being creative, it HAS been a good month for CONSUMING narrative content.

To start, May 3rd began yet another year of Dracula Daily! For those who might not know, Dracula Daily is a project where a man named Matt Kirkland decided to take Bram Stoker's novel Dracula - which is in the public domain - and email it for free to subscribers via substack.com. I believe he started it May, 2021. When it started back up again May, 2022, somehow Tumblr caught wind of it, latched on HARD, and the project went viral. It was so fun to be part of this nearly website-wide online book club last year! I did fall off the wagon around the end of August, though, and so I'm giving Dracula Daily yet another go. It seems less popular this year, but it's still fun to find a few of my Tumblr mutuals again reading along.

To break it down further, for those who never read the actual novel, Dracula is told via dated journal entries, letters, telegraphs, and newspaper clippings. Kirkland thought it would be fun to send each dated entry to subscribers on the actual date they occur. It's a great way to stretch out the novel from a weekend read to something that lasts from May 3rd until November 7th. There are days or even weeks where there is no correspondence. Nothing is recorded within the novel, and so Dracula Daily readers have nothing to read. It adds so much tension when Jonathan Harker writes that he's trapped in Dracula's castle and fears for his life, but then we don't get another entry from Jonathan until over a week later. When you read the entries back-to-back in the actual novel you don't fully grasp that nine days have gone by and Jonathan is getting desperate. When you physically have to wait those nine days... you feel it!

Another fun twist to Dracula Daily is how the novel is pseudo-rewritten. Bram Stoker had kept all of Jonathan's horror within Dracula's castle together in the first few chapters. Then you're finally introduced to his fiancée Mina and her bestie Lucy. There's a tonal shift, but it's a new chapter after everything with Jonathan, so the shift makes sense. However, the dates that Mina and Lucy are discussing Mina's countdown to Jonathan's return and Lucy's love-life are all between Jonathan's entries; essentially giving the reader of the actual novel a sort of rewind/"Meanwhile..." situation. On the flipside, for Dracula Daily, you get Jonathan's perilous business trip interspliced with Mina's and Lucy's correspondence. The stark juxtaposition and resulting dramatic irony creates both a fantastic comedy, but also adds to the tension. You see Dracula forcing Jonathan to write letters home saying he's on his way, but postdating them; implying that Jonathan won't live until the date the letters claim they were written, giving Dracula more time to get away. The next entry is Mina commenting on how excited Jonathan was for his trip and how he should be home within a week. It's comical, but also oh-so tragic that Mina has no clue how terrified her fiancé is and how certain he is that he'll never see her again.

It's been great to read this classic novel, and be part of this online book club (as it were), in order to see the comedy in it all from an internet/meme perspective, but also read the meta from others to really deep-dive and perhaps see symbolism I would have otherwise missed. It's also great to see users warn about things my privilege wouldn't have noticed. Things like how the novel poorly paints the Romani, or people reminding everyone that Transylvania is a region; not a country of its own right, or how the depictions of Dracula are antisemitic, or how troubling/triggering Dr. John Seward's treatment of Renfield could be for those who suffered mental abuse.

By the way, if you DO want to read Dracula, please be mindful of all of those problematic issues and be careful of potential triggers. Be safe out there, peeps, and know that it's okay if you have to skip this classic for your own mental health.

That said, if you still want to read Dracula in real-time, you can always join the Dracula Daily party! Sign-up is always open, and the past entries are archived on Substack, so you'll only miss the experience of waiting for that next entry. We're only one month/16 entries in thus far, and most are relatively short passages, so it should only take a few hours to catch up.

Anyway, point being, it's great to use Dracula Daily as a way of practicing analyzing content I consume and seeing what resonates with people.

The second bit of content consumption I focused on this month is the visual-novel game Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. I started my re-playthrough MONTHS ago. Probably as far back as July???? The final case of the game is INSANELY long compared to the other ones. I must have started that up around October, stopped playing for a while, and then tried to finish this past month. Kept me the better part of a week to finish. It's... a bit intense.

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Part of that intensity helped me with my content-analysis again. Mostly because... I don't know if it's the original writers losing the plot, or if it was a translation error, but... there were a lot of things within the final story you uncover that still don't make sense. Plot points that - knowing who the true culprit is - don't make sense. Timelines that don't properly add up. It's.... it's a bit of a mess in a way the other, shorter cases aren't. So it was fun, and a bit infuriating, to dissect that portion of the game and the overall story. It also helped keep my creativity fresh as I tried to sort out how I would have rewritten that final case to make it read smoother.

The third and final content I focused on this month was more of NoPixel, a Grand Theft Auto V online roleplay server. While most of the other game streamers Hubby and I follow have stopped playing on the server, one streamer spends most of his hours on his GTA characters: Ray__C.

Ray has two characters. His cop character is Raycardo Flick, and his main character is his criminal Raymond Romanov. And, boy howdy, has Raymond had a LOT of juicy content this past month.

A "little" primer on Raymond to fully get why I brought up this character.

Back when Hubby and I used to watch Sykkuno play NoPixel, his one streamer buddy Ray__C created Raymond Romanov. Sykkuno and Ray gravitated towards a third streamer - Buddha - whom they met while playing the post-apocalyptic survival game Rust together. Buddha was an OG NoPixel player, and had been playing his character Lang Buddha for over 5 years. Lang was a legacy character on the server, and had clawed his way into being a sort of criminal kingpin.

Lang, Raymond, and Sykkuno's character Yuno hung out together, did crime together, defended each other, got into mischief together, and eventually, Yuno and Raymond joined Lang's gang. In previous versions of NoPixel, Lang was in charge of the gang the Leanbois. When the server upgraded from 2.0 to 3.0, the Leanbois were unofficially disbanded (new server upgrade tends to be character restart points). Lang decided to recreate the Leanbois with his new crew of Harry Brown (one of Lang's best friends), Raymond, Yuno, Mickey S, Jean Paul, and a lot of the original Leanbois crew. They rebranded as the CLeanbois (CB for short).

During this CB era, Raymond and Lang got close. Raymond was willing to kill for Lang. They considered each other brothers. Family. The streamers Ray__C and Buddha used real-world monies to purchase an in-game mansion, got it custom designed, and had it labelled as CLean Manor. While I know the following characters paid in-game funds to be co-owners of the Manor with Lang and Raymond, I don't know if the streamers pitched in real-world funds as well: Harry, Yuno, Mickey, and Tony Corleone (one of the Leanbois from 2.0). All six CLeanbois were co-owners of the manor and considered it their home.

Lang even declared that "the Manor is a neutral/mutual ground for all gang-related affairs." Keep this in mind. It becomes important.

After the CLeanbois managed the most difficult heists available within the city of Los Santos (the setting of GTA V) most of the players got bored and stopped playing. With fewer and fewer CB members active, the ones that were still playing moved on to create new crews. Lang created/heads such new gangs/organizations as The Guild and Cerberus, and has become a two-term mayor of Los Santos, a position the character currently still holds. That is also important. Tony created the street racing crew Redline - of which Raymond is a member. Raymond gathered up the street crew that had helped him grind out funds, guns, and equipment for CB heists, and created Ray's Unfortunate Street Team, aka R.U.S.T. (a nod to the game Ray__C mostly streamed before getting into NoPixel). Despite going separate ways, Tony and Raymond still considered the members of CB as their family and CLean Manor their home. Raymond even went so far as to warn the founding members of RUST and all prospects looking to join that Lang, Tony, and the rest of the CLeanbois are Raymond's family and were off limits.

This dynamic between Raymond and Lang was why Lang is the namesake of Hubby's  Scum and Villainy character Quinton's greatest ally. He pictured Quinton and his version of Lang to have that same mentor/brother relationship as Raymond and Lang (or Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne).

Fast forward to this past February/March. One of RUST's members was arrested after a stockpile of gun parts was discovered in a truck he had parked at Rooster's Rest. Rooster's Rest is one of Lang's many businesses, and probably the one closest to his heart because it was a carry-over from 2.0. Lang has one key rule: do not start trouble at any of his establishments. He does not want the cops to have ANY reason to come onto his properties. So, when G Baby was arrested under the suspicion of weapons manufacturing (on account of the gun parts), Lang wanted to rain hellfire on RUST. He resisted though, out of respect for Raymond. Since the streamer playing G Baby was dealing with health issues and was planning on retiring anyway, Raymond and Lang were able to agree to let G Baby be exiled from the city under the pain of death should he return. Tensions were high for the week or so that they negotiated G Baby's punishment (Lang wanted to execute him), and it was obvious that the relationship was strained once negotiations concluded.

RUST had helped Lang get re-elected as Mayor (his second term), but then Lang kept feigning ignorance and had his deputy mayors lie about paying the RUST boys for their work. It became a bit of a running gag with Raymond and Ray__C's chat, but it was becoming more clear that while Raymond still thought of Lang as a brother, Lang saw Raymond more as a tool to manipulate. Or, as I said to my husband, if the two were brothers, Lang was the older one and Raymond was the younger chasing after his big brother like a faithful puppy. And Lang knew it. The whole city (server) knew it. Lang was Raymond's Achilles' Heel, and people were not afraid to use that against him. Any who opposed Raymond and/or RUST knew they just needed to hide behind Lang to avoid repercussions, and RUST was losing respect as a gang.

Fast forward again to last weekend. Ray__C was away at Electric Daisy Carnival (EDC) in Las Vegas when it all went down, so Raymond only knew what happened via second-hand information. However, he made a point to ask MULTIPLE people for their side of the story to try to sort it all out, and ended up with the following:

A prospective Rooster's Rest employee named Elfy entered the restaurant (Rooster's Rest) and started talking shit about RUST. She then saw Maxine, one of Raymond's many adoptive adult children. She then started threatening Raymond's life in front of Maxine and gloating that he couldn't do anything since she was on Lang's property. Maxine, infuriated, clocked off shift and radioed the rest of RUST about Elfy so they could pick her up when she left Rooster's and properly punish her for the threats and disrespect. Among the RUST members that showed up was new member Kate. While the rest of the group was able to keep their heads, and Kate tried to talk to Elfy to get her to stop, Elfy kept instigating. Since the two of them were outside of Rooster's, Kate pulled a gun on Elfy and kidnapped her, not realizing that they were still on Rooster's Rest property (they were on the front steps) and therefore still breaking Lang's cardinal rule.

There was about a week of he-said-she-said about the situation until everything finally came to a head at a meeting on Wednesday. This meeting kickstarted some of the best acting/roleplay I've seen on the server, and the reason I brought Raymond up in the first place.

Lang and Raymond set up a meeting at the RUST compound: the Scrapyard. At the meeting were Raymond, a member of his high command Perez, another RUST member MacGregor, Maxine, Kate, Lang, Harry, Denzel (a Leanbois member that was grandfathered into the CLeanbois), and the Rooster's Rest CEO Penny. To say the meeting didn't go well is an understatement. Despite Maxine getting fired from Rooster's and all of RUST being banned from any and every Lang property, Lang's side of the meeting still wanted blood as punishment, especially since Elfy is apparently the fiancée of Lang's surrogate brother Speedy, and the RUST members that had kidnapped her had also tortured her as punishment.

Despite claiming otherwise, Penny didn't get anyone's side of things outside of Elfy's, and Penny disrespected Raymond the whole meeting. However, when Raymond tried to push back, Lang threatened to kill two RUST members if Raymond continued to disrespect her. Lang said nothing to Penny about disrespecting Raymond. Then, since Penny is a member of the Angels gang, a helicopter with five Angels was discovered on the Scrapyard roof. The other RUST members were able to detain two of the Angels, and Raymond "executed" them (since it's a game, the players can decide if their character is actually dead or just severely injured). Raymond told Lang to take Penny (who was unharmed) and leave, which they did. Raymond then found the leader of the Angels hiding on the Scrapyard roof and shot her down too. RUST took all three Angels back to their gang complex inside one of the executed members' cars. Once there, Raymond called another Angel member, told her where to find those that were at the Scrapyard, and proceeded to explode the Angel's car.

Once back at the Scrapyard, Raymond decreed that Maxine and Kate weren't allowed to go anywhere in the city without at least 4 RUST members with them for protection, since Lang, Harry, and Speedy were on the hunt for the two of them.

Two days later, Raymond brought his son Maxine with him everywhere he went to keep an eye on him, and Kate spent the day with her street racing gang the Yokai. Things were a bit tense, with Harry calling Raymond with vaguely threatening messages about hunting down Kate. Otherwise, it was a fairly light-hearted stream. Raymond even set up an interview for CEO of the local strip club. He was advised to dress the part for the interview, so he had fun picking out a "pimp outfit". On his way to the club, he got a call from Lang. He requested that Raymond bring Maxine to CLean Manor for a meeting to try to discuss potential punishments. Maxine rightfully didn't want to go, but Raymond knew that the groups would be dancing around each other; hunting each other. Raymond just wanted the whole thing settled so he and Lang wouldn't be at odds anymore. He also knew Lang's rule that the Manor was conflict-free so the cops would have no reason to enter the property. Even so, Raymond refused to bring Maxine to the Manor if Speedy was there. Lang swore that it would just be him and Harry there, so Raymond agreed.

He let his gang know what was going down. Raymond's adoptive daughter Mari offered to come with, as well as RUST honorary member Nana. RUST member Bruno was already in the car with Raymond and Maxine, so he came along as well. Perez offered to get a helicopter and hover near the Manor - but not close enough to eavesdrop like the Angels did - in case Raymond needed backup.

Once at the Manor, Raymond passed out guest keys to his crew so they could move freely through the mansion, but he ordered them to wait outside. He and Maxine then went in to meet with Lang and Harry. The four of them had another increasingly heated discussion until Speedy popped out of one of the many hidden rooms within the Manor, and shot both Raymond and Maxine with tranquilizers. While the two were out Harry yelled to handcuff them, and then the trio kidnapped Maxine. Raymond woke up handcuffed to the desk and alone in the office. He screamed for help, and Perez parachuted into the mansion. Lang saw Perez in the house with his gun out, and called 911 claiming an assassination attempt on the mayor, before ushering Harry, Speedy, and Maxine into another hidden passage. Perez saw they had Maxine, but he wasn't one of the ones Raymond was able to give keys to, so he couldn't follow them into the passage. Instead, he ran down to rescue Raymond. He then directed Raymond - who was panicked and in shock - to the hidden passage, but Raymond couldn't open it. That's when he discovered that Lang had taken his house keys.

Harry "executed" Maxine. Raymond and Lang had a yelling match through the secret door. Raymond took out Speedy. Lang threatened Raymond, but Ray still replied that he won't shoot Lang; they're brothers. He pleaded for Lang to let him get Maxine. Lang agreed, but ended up locking Maxine behind the secret door before escaping up the defense tower on the roof. All the more panicked, Raymond paced screaming to Perez and his gang that he can't get to Maxine and that one of them with the guest keys needs to get inside to help. Raymond lamented not being able to shoot Lang, and Perez told him to not worry. He'll do it. He then climbed up onto the roof while Bruno ran inside to unlock the secret passage door and collect Maxine. While Bruno was gone, Harry's son Zaceed, who was also hiding at the Manor as backup, surprise-attacked Mari and Nana, handcuffed them, and shot them execution style. Not knowing what happened, Raymond ran around the front driveway looking for them.

Meanwhile, Lang, from the tower, shot down Bruno and put another bullet in Maxine's back to make sure he wouldn't get back up. Having reached the roof, Perez then headshot Lang and then Harry. Not sure what was going down and still in shock over everything, Raymond tossed Bruno and Maxine in the car and tried to drive off. He was stopped at the gate by the cops yelling for them to drop their guns. Raymond tried explaining that they didn't have any weapons drawn and they were desperate to get to a hospital or EMT. As Raymond crested the hilled driveway, he saw the shot-down Nana and Mari already outside the Manor with EMT (I'm not entirely sure how they got them; if Zaceed had dropped them off or whatnot). During the confrontation with the cops, Speedy, who had been revived by Lang before the latter was shot by Perez, returned the favor and revived Lang and Harry (Lang then proceeded to accidentally fall down the tower ladder and was promptly knocked unconscious again).

Harry and Speedy started shooting at the vehicle Raymond was in, and managed to take him out. Meanwhile, Zaceed drove past the police barricade to also shoot at Raymond. Up on the roof, Perez took both Harry and Speedy out, before dropping down to try to go after Zaceed. Unfortunately, Zaceed had the higher ground, and did manage to take down Perez before the police could then take him out.

The shoot-out at the CLean Manor resulted in all parties at the manor being escorted to the hospital before being brought to the police station. Maxine managed to pull through, but Harry ended up in the ICU. Everyone else was able to get quickly mended and released with no permanent damage, except for Nana who lost her right eye due to Zaceed's headshot.

Raymond then went through two real-time hours of interrogation to try to sort out what happened at the Manor. Even then, he refused to rat out Lang. He gave the cops nothing, and was eventually released despite Lang trying to push for assassination and terrorist charges. Fun note about the cops, all four high-ranking officers on-duty were played by streamers who also have CLeanboi characters. They all joked about being conflicted and tried to pass the case to someone else.

After being released, Raymond got a phone call from Lang. It was part threatening and part lesson on hedging his loyalties between Lang and RUST.

It was an intense story full of betrayal and action, and both Ray__C and Buddha congratulated each other on the amazing roleplay once they were done. You could tell the two friends were having great fun and still greatly loved each other despite what happened between their characters.

Honestly? I know I gave you the full rundown already, but you should still check out the 23min highlight reel (be warned, this IS GTA, so just about every other word is the f-bomb). Buddha said it the best: "When Ray wants to RP... like, in those critical moments... he goes, like, 150%!" You really need to hear the vocal acting Ray__C does. It's just... *chef kiss*

And the FEELINGS it evoked! It's four days later and it STILL sticks with me! Although I know that the streamers still love and appreciate each other and their friendship, the BETRAYAL from Lang, and wondering why he did it? It lingers. The plot that Buddha came up with and the energy and emotion that Ray injected? Just so SO good. It's exciting to see that kind of content because it also provokes me to think about how I would have done things differently, or try to reason what Lang did. It gets those creative juices a-flowin'!

So, thank you to Dracula Daily, Ace Attorney, and NoPixel for the great content to keep me company this month. Here's to hoping it inspires more writing from me in June.

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To conclude, I want to take a moment to focus on the point of yesterday's US holiday. Despite how I might feel about the American military and how it's utilized, I still want to take yesterday's holiday as intended: a day where we remember that the military is staffed by people, some of which never made it home from their tours. So, take that drink from the above image and pour one out for all of those soldiers that lost their lives in the line of duty, and pour another out to all of those veterans forgotten by this country. May we all do better to support our soldiers returning home from battle, and do better at keeping them out of danger in the first place.

Public Domain Picture created by Karen Arnold

Also, in reference to the story I posted on Sunday, this May marked 20 years that Hubby and I have been a couple! How have I been with this man for over half of my life already!? I love you, Sweetness. Agreeing to date my best friend was the smartest decision I ever made. Thank you for being brave enough to ask me.

Image from FreeSVG.org

Finally, Thursday is June 1st, which marks the first day of Pride Month. Especially with all of the conservative pushback the past year, I get how terrifying it must be to not be straight or cis-gender. I get that it may not be safe to express who you truly are right now. My heart goes out to you, and I hope things get better for you soon. Know that I love you and appreciate you the way you are/wish to be. You're not alone. Please, be strong for a little longer. And, if possible, please enjoy celebrating who you are.

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(Sorry, this is an older image
and doesn't include the trans colors.
Know that I love and celebrate you as well.)

Finally, I nearly forgot to mention, but I'm trying out the last suggested font option for this blog: Mali. What do you guys think? I now have to go through the past few posts to see which font I like the most. Do you guys have a preference?

In the meantime, take care, peeps! Love you all! And thank you so much for sitting through another long rambling from me. Until next month.

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