Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Being 35 Will Be My Banner Year

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It's my birthday! It's always fun for me to have a blog post on my actual birthday. I don't know why, but it is. Maybe I feel like you guys can celebrate with me if I post on my actual birthday?

Anyway, part of the reason this post is so late this week is because I'm at work right now. Yay. I get to work on my birthday. That's one downside to having a summer birthday. You grow up never having to go to school on your birthday; for the most part you can do whatever you want with your day. Then, post-college, you're in the work force and have to be somewhere every weekday.

That's how life is for MOST summer babies. For me, however, even post-college, I usually asked for my birthday week off. That way, before Hubby and I got married, the two of us could have the week together when he visited, and now I have time with Mom and my sister when they come up for my birthday. It's becoming rarer and rarer for me to NOT ask for my birthday off. This year, though, I went with just the weekend instead of the full week. Sure, today is Tuesday, and so I normally would have it off anyway. Then Hubby and I could spend most of the day to celebrate. However, since I only took the weekend off, and I didn't want to use any vacation time yet, it means I get to work today. Whoo!

So, here I am, on quite possibly only the second or third time that I've worked on my actual birthday.

C'est la vie. That's adulthood for you.

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Tonight, after work, Hubby and I are going to watch the "Live Action" The Lion King. I figured it is only appropriate.

For my tenth birthday, a solid month after the movie premiered, the local one-screen movie theater in my home town was playing "The Lion King." My parents surprised me with us all going after a day at the public pool. Actually, I sort of surprised them too, because I had purposely left my glasses at home, knowing that I wouldn't be able to use them while swimming, and that I could see shapes well enough still to manage getting in and out of the water without them. So one of my parents - I think it was my dad - had to race home to fetch my glasses and meet the rest of us at the theater.

Anyway... When I found out that the remake of the movie was going to be out for my 35th birthday, I knew I HAD to go watch it at our local one-screen movie theater. I know this new "The Lion King" has been getting a lot of hate, especially since it's basically a needless shot-for-shot remake with "less life due to the realistic nature of the animals" buuuut, how could I pass up a chance to relive being 10 for a couple of hours?

And maybe I won't find it as lacking or as much of a soulless cash-grab as most other Millennials. Maybe others of my generation are just holding the original "The Lion King" at an impossibly high standard, as the Hallmark of the 90's Disney Renaissance. I'll have to let you guys know what I think next week.

Finally, ever since I met ChibiSunnie, it just isn't a birthday without her personalized cards.

You can find the high-res version on her DeviantArt: Fruits Basket Birthday Party

How friggen adorable is this card!? First of all, it's Fruits Basket, which is a great manga - which, I think, my sister got me into - and it had a cute anime to go with it in 2001. This year, though, there has been a GORGEOUS anime remake that Chibi and I have been LOVING talking about each week. Just utter squeals and tears and... it's beautiful. So much so that I strong-armed Omnibladestrike into putting the new Fruits Basket into our weekly anime line-up.

Secondly, it's my ship: Tohru and Kyo. Look at him playing with her hair, and holding her hand as she presents me with my birthday cake! And the way he's looking at Tohru? So sweet! Love it! Love it so much. Reminds me a little of me and Hubby, especially with that height difference.

Third, speaking of me and Hubby, Chibi made the birthday cake lemon and blueberry. For one, it's a call-back to my wedding cake, and so it's one of my favorite flavor combos. For another, it's a fruit-flavored cake, which just seemed appropriate for a Fruits Basket themed card.

Fourth, she included my glorious Extra Boy Shigure. Yes, the further into the series you get the more you realize he's a complete manipulative jerk, but he does it in the most playfully cocky way that I can't help but love him. And look at him with his fan and his dance while giving me a gift! How can I not love that doggo!?

Next up, we have the blonde, Uo. Chibi and I have determined that if she is Tohru, then I am her bestie - one of two - Arisa Uotani. So, it seems Chibi couldn't NOT have my Fruits Basket equivalent on the card. I love her hair, and her outfit, and how happy she looks with her little confetti popper.

Finally, there's my other Fruits Basket persona: Tohru's mom Kyoko. It's fitting that both Kyoko and Uo are my Furuba personas because Uo tries to model herself off of Kyoko. Now, I was definitely more Yuki as a kid while I was growing up: good student, kind to everyone, but not terribly close to too many people. However, post Kyoko's middle school gang days, Chibi and I both think I'm a lot like her. She was madly in love with her husband, and it crushed her when he died. Something I hope to not experience until I'm at least 80...

She was a doting mother who was so stupidly proud of just about everything Tohru ever did, and loved to cuddle her daughter simply because her love for Tohru was too much to contain. She became a sort of second mom to both Uo and Tohru's other best friend Hanajima. My mom is like that, and I want to be that kind of parent as well.

In fact, Chibi made me cry one night by telling me I'm very much the type of person to be "mom" to everyone, and that was when we decided I'm Kyoko as well. Kyoko even chopped her hair shoulder-length after keeping it almost hip-length for years; kind of like what I just did.

Soooo, yeah, so many layers to this card, as there always is whenever Chibi draws something.

I LOVE IT, CHIBISUNNIE! ALTHOUGH, I'M SURE YOU'VE FIGURED THAT OUT BY NOW.

On top of everything else, the weekend heat wave finally broke, so it is gorgeous outside!
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I mean, of course I'd love to enjoy being outside in this gorgeous weather, instead of hanging out inside all day, but still. It's a nice reprieve, and it will be pleasant to enjoy once I'm out of work...
...
for about an hour...
...
before I hide inside a building again to watch a movie...

STILL! It's gorgeous weather for my birthday! Who could be mad about that?


Well. Now that all of my birthday squealing is done with, how about my writing this past week? It... well... it was...
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Yeah. About that well.

On the upside, I managed to only have one Zero Day this past week, bringing me up to only 2 the whole month...
My chain of writing days thus far this month.
Only 2 Zero Days on the board. Not too bad.

Hoooooowever, once you go over to my Camp NaNo calendar, you'll see those No-Zero Days aren't as impressive.
A previously sold (read: old) word count tracker for Camp NaNoWriMo
Designed by Miss Write
You can find other amazing (and really cheap!) trackers,
calendars, and planner stickers on her etsy: WriteMissWrite
Blech!
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Three days where I didn't work on "One and the Same", or really any fiction whatsoever, is bad enough, but to barely surpass 200 words on two days where I DID work on my story? Not surpassing 1000 words two other days? My weekly total was my daily goal!

Not.
Good.

It, was just... it wasn't a good week. All the more reason to enjoy today and start year 35 off right!

See, my final week as a 34 year old wore me out. My last day off was Thursday, and this upcoming Thursday will be my next day off before going into my weekend. That alone is a bit tiring. My job isn't all that demanding, so six-day stretches aren't typically that big of a deal.

But, between last Wednesday through Sunday, I had one day off, and four days working with the co-worker I almost always want to bash over the head with a thick phone book. We can usually stay fairly civil for two days straight working together.

This weekend we had three in a row. During a heat wave. Where we were already fairly cranky, and then we had to deal with equally cranky customers. And a lot of them. And one in particular became one of those customers that you just laugh about to prevent yourself from curling into a ball and sobbing.

It... wasn't a fun weekend at work.

I also didn't manage to have a lot of down time to work on my writing. What precious few minutes I did have were usually interrupted by the coworker whining about.... SOMETHING. Usually it would be that she was bored.... SOMEHOW, in the downtime, and needed to just ramble at me. My brain was too broken to manage to tune her out. This is a skill I cannot wait for Mommy Brain to learn once I finally have kids.

So... barely managing those 200 words/day while at work. What about AFTER work? Well, I managed to get that nice chunk done post-zumba last Wednesday. Thursday I was more focused on "this is my last day off for a week" so my priorities were a touch skewed away from writing. I did spend a few hours with OatS, but it was mostly editing and tweaking in order to get to a place where I felt comfortable still working on that ending series of chapters.

Then, Friday, right as I got home, I changed and zipped right back out the door. The friend of Hubby's that lent us his car while mine was in the shop had recently purchased a new table top role play game starter set. So we spent Friday night trying out this new game and discussing if we wanted to continue the campaign with the pre-made characters that came with the set, or if we wanted to restart with a party of customized characters.

Frankly, I liked my character and wouldn't mind continuing with the pre-made.
Pre-made character that comes in the
Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay 4th Edition Starter Set
by Games Workshop
The main reason I like her is because these pre-made characters come with an established background, potential ties to the other party members, as well as secrets and motivations you get to choose. Most importantly for my love for THIS character specifically, is the fact that you are given a "meet your character" section which includes main quotes of theirs.

The second - of four - quote for Else is "What? No, no. I wasn't looking at Amris." Who happens to be another pre-made character you could choose. The woman is so tsundere, and I love me some tsundere characters. I mean, look at Helga G. Pataki from "Hey, Arnold!" or Noelle from "Black Clover".

The fact that Hubby lucked into Amris was just an added bonus.

Anyway, we played until I practically passed out at the gaming table - about 11pm - and then we headed home, where I truly did crash pretty much as soon as we were inside.

On Sunday, something similar occurred. I had to work, then pretty much straight from work, Hubby and I got changed, picked up my father-in-law, had an early dinner together, then headed to my sister-in-law's to celebrate our nephew's 4th birthday.
Unknown Artist
Image found via Google Images
We spent a few precious hours with them, fresh home from their trip to the water park, and then homeward bound we went. After dropping my Father-in-law off, Hubby and I zipped over to Walmart for a quick clothing run. Then I got home and wrote those 200-some words before passing out at my computer. Hubby woke me nearly 2hrs later so we could clean up my mess of papers off the bed so we could call it a night.

"But, what about Saturday?" you might be asking. Well... Saturday was when I broke. It was one of the hottest days. I had to deal with insane customers. The cleaning guy at work was just being annoying. I was trying not to murder my coworker. I just could NOT get myself in a proper mental state to write, even though I actually had some free time post-work that day. I just needed a re-charge day. A vent to Hubby day.

Thankfully, it was also a glorious Laugh at the Ridiculous of My Fandom kind of day.

Some context:
Over the weekend, I believe it was Friday afternoon/evening my time, at the San Diego Comic-Con, the Miraculous Ladybug panel announced that four characters just started up official Instagram accounts. Those four characters were: main classroom antagonist Chloe Bourgeois, Marinette's best friend and local blogger Alya Cesaire, and of course the two main characters Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste.

One of the people I follow on Tumblr - buggachat - has this weird thing about wanting to bully Adrien Agreste. No one truly understands it. I don't think even she does. However, she waited MAYBE 10minutes after the announcement of Adrien's Instagram account before creating an Instagram herself. She then played nice at first, liking and commenting on the few pictures the four of them had up and the comments they were leaving on each other's posts. Then the epic drama that is Locker-gate started.

Completely playing around, knowing full well the account didn't ACTUALLY belong to an honest-to-god 14year old child, buggachat told Adrien that she wanted to shove him into a locker.

Now, there is some controversy as to what happened next. Theory #1 is that buggachat's comment about shoving Adrien into a locker, and her follow-up where she attempted, but did not succeed in, telling Adrien how ugly his father is, got her blocked for bullying. Theory #2 is simply that Instagram saw buggachat rapidly commenting on brand new accounts, and thought she was some sort of spam bot. Either way, she was blocked from interacting with anyone on Instagram. She could still post pictures to her account, but she couldn't like or comment on anyone else's posts, even her friends who certainly did not report her for bullying.

Not knowing that Instagram blocked her entirely, buggachat assumed Adrien and the other three ML characters blocked her for bullying. She commented about this on Tumblr and went viral within our fandom. She became a meme. "Adrien" caught wind and apologized for blocking buggachat and making her feel bad. "He" is new to Instagram and didn't think he blocked her, but he'd try to unblock her if he can figure it out. SUUUUUCH an Adrien move: someone is mean to him; he apologizes.

In the end, buggachat became unblocked, she stopped cyberbullying fictional teens, and she's now "best buddies" with "Adrien Agreste" after bonding over how adorable buggachat's cat is.

It was a glorious soap opera that had me in tears from laughter as I watched the repercussions of it unfold on Tumblr. So... thank you, buggachat, for running face first and full speed into disaster so that I could enjoy the fallout.

Any who wish to see the full epic, you can find it on buggachat's tumblr here: buggachat answers an ask about Locker-gate

Personally, I love that it actually inspired at least one fanfic! I mean, inspiration can strike anywhere, right? What a way to be immortalized within the fandom, though!

You can check out the fanfic on AO3: Locker-gate by yukisukinomoto

So... yeah. Saturday evening was spent reading that fanfic, going back through the whole saga on buggachat's Tumblr, and reading my favorite posts to Hubby. Who, God love, at least pretended to be equally entertained. I then did a stupid edit to add to one of the posts. Any "Andi Mack" fans will get this joke; most others will not... Anyway, it's in reference to Adrien apologizing to his cyberbully.
Originally the character Cyrus Goodman
from the Disney Channel show Andi Mack.
That is the exact quote from that shot.
From the episode "Cookie Monster" from season 3
Time clearly well spent there...

Also, Friday evening, EdenDaphne posted a fairly quick update to her story Discordant Sonata. Now, Eden left us on quite the cliffhanger at the end of June. Eden also is a busy woman, and so her updates tend to be closer to the once every OTHER month, or every THIRD month. So once every 2 or 3 weeks!? That is SUUUUPER fast! Regardless, it was posted while I was either at work or while I was playing the RPG. So, the last remaining hours of Saturday - post work, and after going back through the Locker-gate saga - were more-or-less spent reading that update for Discordant Sonata.

Monday I was able to get a touch more written, but post-work was more racing around, between dinner and laundry and weekly grocery shopping and trying to spend SOME time with Hubby. I also attempted to work on this blog so it was done and ready to go up at noon, instead of me stealing time at work to finish it up. Clearly that last bit didn't go well, which is why this week's post is so late. The main reason working on my blog yesterday failed? I once again passed out at my laptop.

I have now done that at least once a day since Friday.

I think I miiiiiight be a touch burnt out.
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Just one more day of work, and then Hubby and I have Thursday off together. I might not get anywhere close to catching up on my writing, but I can at least have a recoup day snuggling with Hubby on the couch. With luck, I'll be refreshed by next Tuesday.

Until then, I'm just going to go one day at a time. Starting with enjoying the rest of my birthday.
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Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Face Reveal... Kinda

I want to start off with something a little fun today. I know that I normally represent myself with long-haired redheads such as this:

or, more recently, like this:
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However, I actually have deep brunette hair naturally. Also, while my hair was LONGER than the above Bitmoji implies, I also got most of it chopped off for the summer last Tuesday. In the end, I figured it would be fun to switch up my Bitmoji real quick to give you guys a better idea of what I truly look like.
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Minor editing in Pixlr.com
Completely unintentionally, I wore the outfit my Bitmoji had on: black sneakers, blue jeans, and rust-red shirt. So I decided to take an extra 10min or so to edit the shirt so it truly is what I'm wearing right now: my Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time "Light It Up" shirt. It has the "musical notes" for the Sun's Song. It's my matching shirt to Hubby's "Make It Rain" shirt with the Song of Storms on it. Also... my shirt has the added nod to Trish and her theme song "My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up)" by Fall Out Boy.

Anyway, there I am in all my nerdy glory!
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I generally straighten my naturally wavy hair so it isn't QUITE as poofy as my Bitmoji implies, and I have wisps of bangs over my right eye (with the part on the left side of my head). Buuuut, close enough?

I like my LycoRogue persona being a long-haired redhead though - mainly because I tend to keep my hair long and I used to dye my hair - so I'll keep going with my usual Bitmojis. I just figured it would be fun to show off what I "really" look like.
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Just wish I could flip the hairstyles Bitmoji generates so my part/bangs are on the correct sides of my head....

AAAAAAANYWAY! You guys are here to find out about my writing.

Well... on the one hand, I've been fairly consistent, and I've even written nearly every day. On the other hand, I still only have about half the word count I should be at by now.
A previously sold (read: old) word count tracker for Camp NaNoWriMo
Designed by Miss Write
You can find other amazing (and really cheap!) trackers,
calendars, and planner stickers on her etsy: WriteMissWrite
I seem to be averaging around 7000 words per week, which isn't BAD, but It also isn't the 10,870 words per week I SHOULD be hitting. Also, while I wrote roughly double for "One and the Same" this week than I did last week, overall I wrote fewer words this past week. Yay...

I've been mostly editing this week, honestly. I just went ahead and jumped to that Final Chapter first draft file I had. The one where I wrote the 11pg scene in 3rd person because I couldn't figure out whose chapter it should be. This past week I've been rewriting this final chapter so it's that tag-teamed first-person POV. As I mentioned last week, doing so has greatly lengthened this "final chapter." I'm already up to 16 pages, and I still have 3 more pages of the original draft to rework, as well as the actual fluffy ending, which I never got around to writing before, ironically.

So, the first 11 pages are their own chapter, and apparently I'm doing multiple chapters of tag-teamed 1st person, as I predicted I would. I'm already 5pgs into the penultimate chapter, and, as I just mentioned, I still have at least 3 pages to adapt.

Now, I had hoped that reworking the chapter in the tag-teamed 1st person would allow me to definitively figure out whose chapter it is. I figured, if I just wrote without thinking about who was taking the lead, just follow the story as it organically came forth, just switch perspectives simply when the story called for it, then I could go back and see who had the larger page-time. That would be my narrator for the chapter, and I'd figure out what to do with the insight for the other character.

So I wrote. Then I counted. At first it DID seem like it was Adrien's chapter, as it should have been. The first exchange had Marinette roughly 200 words behind Adrien's section. Then she was almost exactly 300 words behind Adrien in the next trade-off. Then I got to the last exchange before I found a natural break for the chapter. Marinette more than doubled Adrien's word-count, which resulted in Marinette's total word-count for the chapter being 2879 to Adrien's 2804!

Seventy-five words! 75! That's it! Talk about even...

No wonder I had such trouble trying to figure out whose chapter it was! We'll see if the penultimate chapter is the same way. So far, after two exchanges, Adrien has over a 900 word deficit to Marinette. I shall see if Adrien will make up the difference later in the chapter, although, technically, this WOULD be Marinette's chapter again if I kept going with the one-per-chapter back-and-forth.

In the meantime, it's been fun to break Marinette's brain and Adrien's heart in these climactic scenes.
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Another episode of Miraculous Ladybug came out this past weekend. I think the fandom will forever refer to it as the Cringe Episode, and will hardcore hate on it - it's already getting a lot of hate - but I actually really enjoyed it. Yes, there were a LOT of cringe moments, and I was screaming at the TV A LOT, but I was also entertained. The reason I bring it up though, is because it actually allows us even more insight into the main four characters of Marinette, Adrien, Alya, and Nino. It also is just a good reference episode for Marinette's and Adrien's respective feelings.

On top of that, this meta-commentary mini-essay I found on Tumblr goes further into an analysis as to why it actually was a decent episode, bringing forth things I need to make sure to remember when writing both Adrien and Marinette for OatS: None of y’all are actually understanding The Puppeteer 2 (spoilers ahead) written by skaylanphear

Everything that Skaylanphear stated made me realize something else that I think I knew kind of under the surface, but didn't fully grasp until I saw their meta commentary: Marinette has TERRIBLE self-esteem. On my reblog of Skaylanphear's essay, I added my own about the subject of Marinette's self-esteem and how it further explains away the "cringe-y" moments of the episode: my commentary is below theirs

That was actually what I worked on for the better part of 2hrs last night instead of working on OatS more... so...
Yay! I was still writing.
Boo. I wasn't working on the writing project I'm massively behind on.

Speaking of, how HAS my month looked with regards to overall writing? I know I have some Camp NaNo zero-days, but I actually only have one time where I just completely forgot writing was a thing.

Not the fantastic numbers I would like for Camp, nor the numbers I need to finish this story before the end of the month, but I AM still working on SOMETHING nearly every day. I'm getting in AT LEAST my five-minutes-a-day so I can avoid having zero-days. I'm trying to refocus on writing as the priority.

It's just been rough in doing so. I did a quick check-in at my Camp cabin so my fellow NaNoers would know I was doing fine, but I STILL haven't really socialized with them any further this month. As much as I would love to chat with those lovely folks, I just don't have the time. I'd lose at least an hour trying to read and respond to everything. Which is also why I've been kind of absent on FB and Tumblr as well. I just can't do very much online while working on everything else.

I have still tried to take time to read fanfics though. Although, ironically, I'm way behind on Skarabrae-stone's Avengers fanfics. I've been lame and haven't actually sat down to read any of them. I've only ever listened to the stories when she reads them at writing group. I need to take the time to read her stuff. If you want to go ahead and see what she's got, the latest one she seems to be updating is called "Not a Perfect Soldier."

As for stories I HAVE read, well, after some struggling for a few weeks, Taurus Pixie wrote a fun little MariChat story for her friend ChibiRinni. She published it on the 8th, but I was lame and neglected to promote it last week.
Experimental Kiss

Summary: Worrying about not being able to act natural around Adrien, Marinette finds some unlikely help in the form of Chat Noir. However, things soon take an unexpected and passionate turn as their role-play session goes a little bit too far. One-shot.

Word Count: 4,605
Rating: T


It is so sweet, and she's getting great reviews. Most of which are us readers freaking out over how awesome it is and begging for more. Although, I COMPLETELY understand that she already has an overflowing plate with her current writing and life, so it may be quite a while before she gets back to this story, IF she does at all.

Another fanfic I neglected to promote was EdenDaphne's. In all fairness, that was largely because she updated her story while I was visiting my mom, and then I got sucked up in finishing "Bitterblue" by Kristin Cashore and working on my own writing. I was feeling lazy yesterday, so instead of continuing with my own writing, I focused on FINALLY reading Eden's latest chapter.
Discordant Sonata

Summary: “Ladybug… I… What choice do I have? Hawkmoth, he’s ruthless and determined. And he’s… he’s not just my boss. He’s family. If I defied him, what would I do? Where would I go? He’d take my miraculous away if I even tried. I don’t have a choice.”

Enemies AU where Chat has always worked with Hawkmoth from the very beginning.

THEME: Forbidden love
PROMPT: Dancing

Current Word Count: 39,941
Rating: T


You can find this story on AO3
You can find the latest chapter - Chapter 8: Abbandono - here
Chapter 8 is probably one of the most emotionally charged chapters I've read, let alone the most charged she wrote. There's warm fuzzy family goodness, and a moment of concern and question of fleeing, and then a confrontation with shattering results, and an intense fight, and finally a heartbreaking plea before the chapter ends on one heck of a cliffhanger. It's just- It's good, okay!? I was audibly cheering and booing and gasping and sobbing. She did a good job, alright?

I actually decided to read Eden's chapter instead of writing because I was already in a reading kick, so to speak. Omnibladestrike seems to have built up his writing confidence after starting writing group with me. He even posted the first chapter of his story over on Tumblr: Moon Wing chapter 1

He also asked me to edit both chapter 1 - for any last-minute typos and the like he might have missed - as well as chapter 2 so he could prep that for posting. So, this past weekend, I edited chapter 2 for him so it's good to go for whenever he wants to update, and then went back to see what I could catch for chapter 1.

At the same time, ChibiSunnie was about to do up her dummy book for her childrens story "The Pumpkin Prince." I had offered before to give it a look-over so she had a fresh set of eyes looking it over. She was nervous that I was too busy with Camp NaNo, but she really did need to get started with her dummy book.

I mean, it's a childrens book! And it's something my Chibi is trying to get published. How could I tell her no!? I gladly took a few minutes to look her story over.
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So I was kind of in read/edit mode this past week anyway, which probably also explains why I was editing the concluding chapter(s) of OatS instead of starting on something new. While in the mood, I might as well keep up the momentum and read Eden's chapter, right? And I'm glad I did.

I had fun taking a break and going through so many other writings this week. Now to stop procrastinating and getting back to my own.
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I only need 20,885 words by the end of next Monday to catch up. A simple 2984 words per day for all 7 days, including this one. I can do that.... when I've been writing an average of 870 per day thus far.... Yup. I can do it....
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Now to go re-watch the "Cringe Episode" a couple more times in order to get inspired....

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Darn You, Bitterblue!

**SPOILER WARNING**

Okay, sorry to the folks that like to go completely fresh and unknowing into things, but virtually this whole post is going to have spoilers for nearly everything I talk about.
  • Minor spoilers for the latest "Miraculous Ladybug" episode
  • Minor spoilers about scenes I have written up for "One and the Same" as I try to figure out the best order for them.
  • A major spoiler for the romantic subplots for the books "Graceling" and "Bitterblue" that I've been reading.
You'll have a happy little section in the middle where I talk about my Camp NaNoWriMo progress, and some at the end where I promote a story I wrote already this month. Otherwise, there isn't much to read this week if you want to skip over these different spoilers. HOWEVER, if you just want to skip CERTAIN spoilers, I'll mark the beginning of each one with a header. Sorry, guys...
July is just zipping by, isn't it? It's hard to believe Independence Day already came and went, as did the first week of Camp NaNoWriMo.

That's right! I was so busy playing catch-up last week, I didn't really have time to talk about my July Camp participation.

First and foremost, I am yet again attempting to work on "One and the Same." I'm hoping for a few things: 1) third time's the charm with regards to working on this story during a NaNo month, 2) I had stepped away from this story long enough to feel rejuvenated, 3) the success I've had writing over the summer in the past strikes again, 4) new Miraculous Ladybug episodes will help re-inspire me.

Minor Spoilers: ML episode
Contains no-context screen shots


I mean, the new episode this weekend didn't really help with the plot of my story, but how can my little shipper heart not swell when I see this soft smile from Adrien?
So, some minor-spoiler context here. Adrien's father Gabriel is supposedly on a business trip to Japan, leaving Adrien in the care of only his bodyguard. Adrien's BFF Nino thinks this is the perfect opportunity to invade the Agreste mansion in order to throw Adrien a surprise party.

Side Note: This is the second time Nino has gone against Gabriel's rules in order to throw Adrien a surprise party; the first one was the premiere episode "The Bubbler."

Anyway, Nino was trying to have it be a "guys' day" party, which meant "no girls allowed," much to Adrien's dismay, who was wondering why Marinette wasn't at the party. The above smile was when it was revealed that Marinette had dressed in a costume in order to sneak into his party.

First, Adrien was just as surprised as everyone else:
This was instantly followed by Marinette scrambling to put her costume back on and claiming to be "Marino."

Adrien's response was the above soft smile. Here, have it again because it is so cute.
Gaaaah! This boy is so happy that Marinette could join in the party! I love it!!!!!

So.... yeah. While it doesn't really help come up with parallel references for my plot, it still gives me shipper feels that helps make me want to just smoosh these two together. Kind of like The Gorilla with his action figures in this episode....

*Ahem*

So, yeah...

END OF EPISODE SPOILERS


Here's hoping I make some progress with "One and the Same". It's been really slow this first week, though, as I go back through old scenes to try to polish them up a touch and figure out how to thread them together. It's been... and interesting process.

Minor Spoilers: One and the Same


I have this one scene where Adrien is dressed all in black in order to help promote his father's new fashion line, and their teacher Miss Bustier randomly selects Marinette and Adrien to give each other affirmations to start their school day. Marinette gets flustered by Adrien's all-black look, and Adrien just smiles lovingly at her as he shows off some of his "Chat Noir side" by flirting oh-so-slightly.

I love this scene. I want to use this scene. I have no clue where I want to put this scene.

Originally, it was in the third chapter of the story! Right off the bat, Marinette showcases how flustered she is around Adrien, and right out of the gate Adrien is trying to get Marinette to fall for his Chat Noir side before revealing his feelings for her. This is mainly because Ladybug has rejected his goofy Chat Noir side countless times, so he's afraid he can't have a relationship with Marinette until he can get her to fall for that half of him.

I really liked that placement when I first wrote the scene.

But now it feels like it just bogs down a chapter that also seems a bit disconnected. The Morning Affirmations scene does relate to the main body of the chapter, which is Marinette wondering if Adrien has low self-esteem, and is therefore trying to emulate Chat Noir. However, the chapter is already so long, and it feels weird to have a long "start of the school day" scene and an even longer "end of the school day" scene, and then just sort of hand-wave over the school day itself.

Alternatively, I have another chapter about mid-story where Adrien "accidentally slept in" and so he came to school a bit disheveled: hair not QUITE in place, so a little bit of his Chat Noir shagginess is showcased, and his usual white cover shirt is replaced by the black cover shirt introduced in the above "all black" scene. Marinette is flustered, but manages to get a few solid sentences out as she uses Adrien's "off" look to envision him as Chat Noir; making him easier for her to talk to. Since so much of this chapter is about Marinette imagining Adrien as Chat Noir, that way she isn't as flustered around him, and it's almost exclusively the start of the school day, perhaps I combine this scene with the "all-black" one? Maybe Adrien is promoting the all-black look for his father's latest line, but he also over sleeps, so his hair's in a bit of disarray? Marinette and Adrien have their affirmations, but then Marinette convinces herself to picture Adrien as CN so she can talk to him?

I loose cute moments from both scenes if I combine them, but the overall story may run smoother. Except, now I'm missing a major catalyst from the 3rd chapter, because I still need Adrien to subtly act like Chat Noir while at school in order to get the reaction I need from Marinette, that way I can THEN get the counter-reaction I need from Adrien to jumpstart chapter 4... which is kind of the true inciting incident for the whole story...
Tanuki Facebook sticker
by Yanare Ku
So the Morning Affirmations/All-Black scene is just sort of sitting in limbo in its own word doc until I know where to shove it.

Same with a sort of half-scene where Alya playfully yells at Adrien for a bad pun, sending him to the corner until he can "learn proper humor."

On the flip side, one of my later chapters had a part where Marinette learns that Chat Noir isn't just a flirt; he genuinely loves Ladybug. The chapter this realization originated in was a bit interrupted by this "ah-ha moment." And so it got moved to its own chapter, further back in the story. I have the back half of that chapter written. I just need to figure out how to get there.... I also need to figure out if I want to stop where I did, or if I want to wrap the chapter up some other way. I may have to wait until the chapters are laced together into one master manuscript before I decide that though.

Also, the original section I had cut is almost completely re-worked. Chat Noir was much more playfully whiny, and Marinette much more teasingly comforting my first go at the "Chat Noir Truly Loves Ladybug" micro-scene. I don't think I can really use any of it now, but it will stay in document limbo in case I want to use that alternate version in another story.

Or, much like my alternate Bracelet Scene, I may just post it to Tumblr as a nixed alternate scene. Who knows?

END OF OATS SPOILERS


I've also committed to my "flip the final chapter POV between both Marinette and Adrien" format. It's not professional, but screw it. Fanfiction doesn't need to be professional quality. It may upset a few of my readers to go from one POV per chapter to a bouncing POV - broken up with line breaks and POV switch headers - but I really can't figure out whose POV is more important for this final chapter. There's a LOT to take in and wrap up, and both parties have a LOT going on in their heads. It would be Adrien's turn, but after the last Marinette-POV chapter's ending, I can't NOT go into her head again.

Divvying up the chapter just seemed the most suitable solution. Although, now that I'm doing THAT, I want to make sure the switch doesn't happen every 3 paragraphs or so, which means taking more time with each character before switching, which means an even BIGGER chapter.

So maybe I break the chapter in half, and the final TWO chapters will be split POV? Or I could tell one side of the climax via Adrien's POV, then re-tell it in the next chapter via Marinette's POV, and then have a final chapter post-climax and have THAT be the joint POV chapter?

What do you guys think? Would you rather:
A. Read the scene playing out in real-time, but have the POV switch between characters, and have the "bouncing" POV for 2 or 3 straight chapters?
or
B. Read the scene about 70% of the way through with Adrien's POV, then rewind in the next chapter to re-read the same scene, but from Marinette's POV, and then conclude with one more chapter containing the final 30% of the scene either in the split-POV or in 3rd person?

This would be so much easier if I just wrote the whole story in 3rd, but I fear Cyhyr's right, and it would be weird to have the sequel to a 1st-person POV story be a 3rd-person POV story.

Darn writing. Why does this need to be so hard!?

So.... yeah.... that's the progress I have with "One and the Same" as of right now. A jumbled mess of "Okay, let's fix this, and edit this, and start writing this, and move this to it's own limbo-document until I know where I want to go with it..."

It doesn't help that the first three days of July virtually saw NO writing as I pushed to get my reading of "Bitterblue" by Kristin Cashore done. A failed attempt, actually. I had neglected to bring the book out-of-state with me when I visited my mom. So, the day the book was due back at the library, I still had 70pgs left to read when I had to head out to my writing group meeting, which runs right up until the library closes. Had I brought the book with me, I would have read my 38pgs/day goal, and I would have had the book done on time.

Instead, I renewed the book for another 2 weeks, and proceeded to take less than 2hrs to finish reading everything, including the bonus content at the back of the book, as well as the acknowledgements. So glad I have this book until the 16th....

And, yes, I do still have the book. I'm flipping back through to scenes that really stuck out for me, and taking pictures of the passages so I have them as reference points.

Reference points for 2 reasons, actually:
1) Fandom reference. If I need to look up something for ML, I can just bring up episodes and re-watch the scenes I need. I can't do that with a book, especially one I don't own. With the picture references I won't have to flip back through a 500+ pg story to find the precise scene I need to refresh my memory for fanfiction or just general fandom knowledge. Also, I won't have to wait until I can check the book back out of the library - or, if/when I buy the book, wait until I find the book in my personal at-home library.
2) Writing reference. More importantly, with the photos of the passages I like, I have a quick-guide to wording I really like for various reasons. Perhaps I liked Cashore's turn-of-phrase, or how she described something world-building wise, or it evoked powerful emotions that I want to revisit and/or have as a guide for instruction on how to evoke emotions the same way. Just like with the fandom reference, having the photos means I don't have to have the physical book with me in order to re-read a specific scene, nor will I have to spend a great deal of time flipping through and re-reading unneeded passages in an effort to find the one I need.

Either way, it's a great way to study Cashore's writing as I keep going back to those scenes. A way for me to potentially improve my own writing.

I THINK I have the main passages I want - roughly 70 pages out of the 539pg story - and I can return the book in the next day or so. I just need to take the time to re-name the pictures by their page numbers so I can easily double-check that I have them all.

It will be a project, and another distraction from my Camp writing. Oh, glorious "Bitterblue" distractions from writing. First, I read instead of writing. Second, I re-read looking for passages I wanted to photograph. Third, I need to organize the photos before the book is due on the 16th. Finally, instead of working on my Camp project of OatS, I used all of my writing free-time on the 4th working on a "Bitterblue" one-shot. Something I'll talk about below.

But first, I want to see how far behind "Bitterblue" actually put me, and how much I've actually done with OatS.
A previously sold (read: old) word count tracker for Camp NaNoWriMo
Designed by Miss Write
You can find other amazing (and really cheap!) trackers,
calendars, and planner stickers on her etsy: WriteMissWrite
Once you take out the 3330-word "Bitterblue" fanfiction I wrote on the 4th, I wrote 4177 words for OatS... Nooooot the greatest, but still 4000+ more words than I had in June...
Hacker Girl Facebook sticker
by Birdman, Inc.

All-in-all, I should have been at 10,870 words by the end of the week. Instead I had 7004; 3866 words behind. Good start...


As for how far I am now? Only up to 7507 out of 13,044. By the end of the day I'm supposed to be up to 15,218! Camp... hasn't been going well yet again.

I'm writing though, and I have my story for July already done. Again, more on that in a little bit. I'm slowly getting back into the rhythm of the story again, and, as I noted above, I've re-written some chapters already. Finally, I'm meeting some really neat people in my cabin. At least half of the group is really talkative, and we all just chat about once a day. Although, I have been skipping the chat log so far this week so I can pretend I'm catching up on my writing. I'll have to check in at some point, but I know I'll have about 50 messages to read through before responding.

I also found some fellow Miraculers in the cabin. One in particular is working on a Miraculous Ladybug fanfic this month as well. An Enemy AU, "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog" crossover fic. Their first multi-chapter project. I instantly remembered how it felt to work on “Peeping Tomcat”. I hope Becklemania enjoys the journey. I have their story queued up for post-Camp readings, but if you don't want to wait, you can read what they have up so far over on AO3: Chat Noir's Sing-Along Blog

That's my progress with Camp NaNo so far this month, but how about we back-track to that "Bitterblue" fanfic?


Major Spoilers: "Bitterblue" romantic subplot
(and also the "Graceling" romance subplot)


I was kind of devouring "Bitterblue" as quickly as I could without it being the only thing I did all day outside of working. Again, I'll have to write up a separate blog post just talking about my thoughts on "Graceling" and "Bitterblue" because there is a LOT. Obviously, because it inspired a fanfic.

Actually, it inspired more than just a simple fanfic.... nearly 90% of the way through the story - it's literally about 87%; I calculated it via page numbers - there is a hand-waved sex scene. Technically, "Bitterblue" is within a Young Adult book series, so sex can be implied, but it can't be described.

In "Graceling" the characters are in a make-out session, and then the one questions if they have seabane. In Cashore's world, seabane is an herb that prevents pregnancy if consumed within 24hrs after sex. So... an herbal Morning After Pill, as it were. Anyway, the characters are making out, there is a question of whether or not they have any seabane, the other comments about it being in with their medicines, then there is a line break signalling the end of that scene. The next scene starts with them cuddling and the one character asking the other why it is that only females bleed and hurt their first time. Obviously this is pointing out that at least the one character was a virgin, although it could probably be assumed the other was as well.

It's a sweet moment, but, as I'll discuss more in that Graceling Realms post in the near-future, the relationship build was kind of sprinted through to get to that point. So I don't know if them getting together finally was nearly as satisfying as it could be. On the flip side, it meant we had more story of them being a couple, and it's nice to actually SEE a couple in media, instead of the agonizing "will they; won't they" leading to a joint love confession at THE VERY END of the movie/book/series, and their relationship just left for the audience to imagine.

None of that's really the point. My point is that the same hand-waved, literary "fade to black" in "Bitterblue" left me wanting. The romantic tension was SOOOO much more intense in "Bitterblue", plus I felt like there was an honest to goodness love triangle situation. I would be equally happy if Queen Bitterblue ended up with either of two suitors hinted at throughout the book, and at the same time, I'd be equally heartbroken that she didn't end up with the other.

Then there was page 471:
She woke from a nightmare of falling. Ashen, herself, bones, everyone, everything falling. She woke crying out and thrashing and was astonished, then devastated, to find Saf there holding her, comforting her, for this time she was truly awake, and with Saf, all the other truths of the waking world rushed back. And so she clung to him to push them away, pressed herself against him. She felt the length of his body against hers; she felt his hands. She heard his whispers, let him fill her ears and her skin. She kissed him. When he responded to her kisses, she kissed him more.

"Are you certain you want this?" he whispered, when it became clear what was happening. "Are you certain that you're certain?"

"Yes," she whispered. "Are you?"
That's the end of the page. So I flip it over to 472, expecting more, like it was in "Graceling." I was itching for more literary fore-play, as it were. Instead, I got this as I began reading page 472:
* * * * *
What it did was return her to herself. For Saf reminded her of trust, of her capacity for comfort, her willingness to be loved. So that afterwards, when the pain came rushing back again, fresh and relentless, she had the strength to bear it, and a friend to hold her while she sobbed.
Like... what!? That was it!? "Are you?" and then "yup. They did the deed."? Tease! In truth, especially with the line "and a friend..." - considering the characters in "Graceling" instantly acknowledged they were lovers after - an innocent mind could POOOOOOOSSIBLY think the two just made out all night or something. The only real CONFIRMATION confirmation was on the NEXT page:
It was early morning when her growling stomach woke her. She opened her eyes to light, and the strange comfort of the dream. Then, memory. Aches, all over, from [CONTENT REMOVED DUE TO FURTHER SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK, JUST KNOW IT WAS DEPRESSING STUFF], from crying, loss, from Saf.
This is even LESS subtly followed by Bitterblue dressing herself, and asking Saf to wait a moment before getting dressed, because it was too dark before and she had never seen a naked man. Once Bitterblue returns to her chambers, she takes some seabane, and laments the complicated situation surrounding the first time she'd have to consume the herb.

So... yeah, it's pretty obvious what happened between pages 471 and 472, and it was eating away at me that we didn't get more. Again, I know that explicit content would have never made it into the book, but I still wanted MORE. I needed a greater pay-off for the Bitterblue/Saf romance subplot.

My only option was to write it myself.

I used cues from the rest of the chapter, things like Saf's comforting voice, his use of her alias Sparks, the fact that Saf held and comforted her in her grief, and the above line: "For Saf reminded her of trust, of her capacity for comfort, her willingness to be loved."

I also used this line from page 473:
How loyal and gentle Saf had been with her, and without her asking it of him. As quick to love as he was to anger, as quick to warmth as to foolishness, and he had a tenderness she wouldn't have expected from him.
Now that I had these main clues as to how everything went down to use as a foundation, I spent those precious writing moments over the holiday to write me some "Bitterblue" smut.

Because apparently, if it's summer, it's the Season of Smut for LycoRogue...

END OF "GRACELING" AND "BITTERBLUE" SPOILERS.


To catch up anyone who skipped over the above spoilers... I wrote smutty fanfiction for the book "Bitterblue."

Now, to be completely fair, there are nearly 1700 words before I even START really getting into the sexual aspects of the story, and actual sex doesn't occur until after 2300 words - 4 pages - into the story. On top of all of that, the last 300+ words are post-sex after-care and snuggles.

So, really, at about 760 words and barely more than a page of content, the sex itself is a small fraction of the overall story.

The story is more fluff with a side-order of smut.

Which is probably why it's the first bit of smut I released out into the world.
Hacker Girl Facebook sticker
by Birdman, Inc.
Yeah. I know. I'm.... anxious about this story being consumed by strangers.
Helga G. Pataki from "Hey, Arnold!"
by Craig Bartlett
Serena/Usagi from "Sailor Moon"
by Naoko Takeuchi
But, as I stated above, the story IS mostly fluff, and it's for a fandom that seems to have mostly died off after "Bitterblue" released in 2012. Pretty much all other smut I read for this book - because; research - was published between 2012 and 2015. I think there MIIIIIGHT have been one in 2017? As for all OTHER forms of fanfic for the fandom? Again, there are still some posting in 2019, like me, but most of it seems to have tapered off in 2015... MAAAAAAYBE 2017. The franchise as a whole has 110 fanfics - including mine - on AO3.

So, it's clearly a small fandom, especially since I never heard of the trilogy before, despite it coming out over 7yrs ago. The fandom has petered off it seems. I don't know if anyone would be looking for new "Bitterblue" fanfiction, let alone wanting to read smutty fanfiction.

So.... I'm "safe," right? It's cool to post this story because who's really going to ever read it... yeah?

Says the woman who is currently awkwardly trying to promote the darn thing...

Meh, the difference is that you guys aren't TOTAL strangers to me. I mean, sure, I might not know who a lot of you are, but you faithfully come back here, right? You enjoy my writing. I do know at least 10 of you, I'd imagine. It's not QUITE the same as having "strangers" find it.....

....

Why did I post this story again?????

Because I didn't just post it to AO3, where I can throw up a slew of tags and mark the story as explicit sexual content.

I knew I couldn't post it to FFN, and I probably wasn't going to get anywhere on DA with an "Adult Content" block on a story; something most don't go to DA for anyway.

But.... I DO have my Tumblr... and the mature/explicit content is "hidden" behind a "read more" link. And there's no pictures to get my story flagged... in theory....

So far so good, and there aren't any notes on the story, so I don't know if anyone even read the thing or if everyone just went "Oh... smut... moving on then." Perhaps I won't get flagged....

AAAAAAANYWAY. I DID have a few people read it on AO3 though.

Wolfhearted is my "I don't feel ashamed when I talk dirty around him" friend, my "he doesn't judge; nor should he" friend, my "okay, it's safe to send my smut to him" friend. He's already read "Rensin's Conquest" - my Jolene smut - and he absolutely loves "Some Like It Flame Broiled" - my Trish/Devon smut inspired by Ronoxym's own smutty AU story for these two. I'm actually still periodically going back to SLIFB in order to tweak and re-do so it's not so cringey, and Wolf reads each rewrite....

So, I sent him my "Bitterblue" smut. He agreed that it was more a cavity-inducing fluff story that just so happens to include sex. He had one critique, and, the more I think about it, the more I kind of agree with him, but I'm not going to bother to go back and tweak....

I then told one of my readers, back when I thought I was going to be too shy to share the story here on my blog, that I had the fic up. I don't think she has an AO3 account, so I knew she wouldn't get a notification.

That was it. Those were my two readers over the holiday. I was pleased with that. Especially when Wolf told me he enjoyed the story. I also got this unofficial review from the aforementioned reader:
OK!!! Now I have to go and read it!!!!


I'm back! That was awesome. I have to admit it has been way too long since I read the trilogy. (I read it when it first came out). Now I want to go back and reread it!!!!
So, uh... yeah. Neat. Two good reviews from people I "know" - in truth, I don't KNOW know the above reader, but she's a faithful one, so close enough? - and I was content with my work.

Then, unexpectedly, last night I got an AO3 notification that I had a kudos and a review on my story!
you don't understand how thirsty I am for [CONTENT REMOVED DUE TO SPOILERS] content ALWAYS and to have some tender and loving smut in the year 2019 is truly a blessing THANK YOU
Um....
Maki Natsuo from "Love Lab"
created by Ruri Miyahara
Marinette from "Miraculous Ladybug"
created by Thomas Astruc
Okay, I had a good review from a complete stranger. I'm seriously good now...

However... since it IS - at least, for right now - my "one completed piece of fiction per month" for July... for any who are interested in this sort of thing... um... yeah... here's the link.

"Sparks for the Moment"

My story on AO3 is actually up to 8 hits as of this writing, so that means 5 other people read it!? Eeeeee
Grey from "Black Clover"
created by Yūki Tabata
Well... I was brave and shared the story with the world, smut and all. So... that's where I'm at with my writing. Is anyone else doing Camp NaNo? How are you doing with your writing?

I'm going to go hide in the corner for a few hours until I forget I also promoted my smut here on my blog, so I guess I'll catch you guys again either next week or later this week if I can get that Seven Kingdoms Trilogy/Graceling Realms blog post up...