As I've mentioned a few times on this blog, Quarthix's wedding to The Captain happened on Sunday, so it was a busy week, a jam packed weekend, and a full Sunday. We did get home from the wedding at about 7:30 though, so I was excited to have time to write. But I was sore and tired, so I just slumped on the couch and snuggled the husband for a while. And then a while longer. And then it was about 10pm and I was like “Shoot! I still have 1200 words to write before going to bed!”
Now, let's take this back a step.
Last week I noted the irony that as soon as I acknowledge that Mondays are my “writing wash” day I ended up writing on a Monday. Well, I fell back into “Mondays are a wash” yesterday, but we'll ignore that for a moment. The reason I brought up the irony of me writing last Monday, aside from further proof that irony follows me everywhere, was that it was the start of one of the most productive weeks outside of NaNo that I've had.
I wrote on Monday. I made sure to get at least 200 words down on Tuesday before my writing group, in order to state that I DID write a narrative that day. I then wrote 1100 words on Wednesday. And then 1300 words on Thursday. And then 1400 words on Friday! I just kept increasing! I just kept writing in more and more of a fury the further into my fanfic I got. I didn't even know where I was going with it. I sat down, scared that I had no direction, and then the story unfolded for me. It's been a little while since I tried on my fanfic writer hat, and I'm glad it still fits.
I wrote every day of the work week. Every day! I wrote for five days out of the seven Monday-through-Sunday week. I surpassed my 5000 words per week goal. I didn't manage to write at least 1000 words per session – stupid Tuesday – but I did manage to write more than enough the other days of the week to make up for it. I was done. I completed my week's challenge. I even surpassed it by about 600 words. I could check in Friday morning to say I completed the week.
Then I saw my overall word count. I was 1275 words from hitting my overall challenge goal of 22,000 words by the end of the 6-week challenge.
“It should be easy,” I thought when I set up my goal. “It's not even a half-NaNo, and I have an extra fortnight to do it in.”
HA! Here I was, now at the end of the six weeks, with nearly an extra 1300 words that needed to be written. It was now 10pm on Sunday. I managed my goal for the week. Do I bother trying to play the catch-up game?
Darn right I do! I set a word goal for myself, and 1275 words is so tauntingly close. I could do that in one writing session. I've proved that week that I could do it in one writing session. I've been in the zone with this story. I could do this.
I kissed the husband. I hid in my bedroom. I made a grave mistake.
I started off halfway decently, but I wasn't really sure where I wanted to go with the story at this point. So what, though? The other scenes and writing sessions started the same way, and, as I mentioned, they all turned out fairly decent. The story just unfolds and surprises even me. I trusted that the story would just keep blossoming on its own.
Besides, I knew more-or-less where I wanted to go with the scene. I wanted to talk about the relationship between the two kwamis – guardian creatures that give the main characters their powers – but I also knew that Plagg would not be the type to openly talk about it. I had to break him so he'd confess to Adrien, but what would he confess? A lot of fan headcanon - shorthanded as Fannon - seems to have the two kwamis, who unofficially represent Yin and Yang, as not only partners, but lovers. I loved this thought and how heartbreaking of an idea that was, considering how infrequently they could interact with each other. However, it just doesn't seem in Plagg's character. He is constantly mocking Adrien about love, keeps pointing out how it's more lucrative to love objects, such as cheese, and doesn't seem to care about Adrien's desire to find out who Ladybug is. If Plagg was in love with Tikki, you'd think he'd be full-throttle on-board with finding Ladybug, because that would mean Plagg could see Tikki again.
Granted, Plagg could also be filling the void left by the realization that he'd rarely ever see his love. He could be displacing his love for Tikki; which would then totally explain his near obsession with Camembert, if that's actually all his love for Tikki that he can't show otherwise it would hurt him too much. His mocking Adrien might also be because the kid can't go five minutes without pining for his love, while Plagg and Tikki might go centuries without interacting with each other. He might also be bitter about their fate as kwamis, and want to spit in Love's face because his life's purpose keeps him from his love.
There could be a lot of complex thoughts and emotions put upon Plagg if you keep to the fannon theory of Plagg and Tikki being lovers. I'd love to explore it, too! So much depth could be added to this otherwise lackadaisical character.
The snaffu is Tikki herself, though. She's bubbly, wise, and seems to help Marinette with her love of Adrien; trying to convince Marinette to confess and helps her find ways to do so. Tikki seems a strong believer of love, but also doesn't seem to care to look for Plagg. She doesn't seem embittered by separation. She doesn't seem lost or lonely. She only seemed sorrowful when thinking about the other Ladybugs she has empowered over the centuries. She was even the one to stress to Marinette the importance that no one should know about the kwamis or who Ladybug and Chat Noir are, even each other. Why? If Plagg is her lover, why wouldn't Tikki want to let Marinette know that it's okay to let Chat Noir know who Ladybug is? If she did that, it would mean Tikki and Plagg could be with each other whenever Adrien and Marinette were together outside of their superhero personas.
I'm sure one could argue that Tikki's reasoning is because Tikki knows how much Chat Noir loves Ladybug, and doesn't want to break the guy's heart since Marinette only has feelings for Adrien. One could also argue that Tikki knows that Chat Noir is Adrien and wants to make sure the model loves Marinette for Marinette, and not for her Ladybug persona. One could argue that the more mature Tikki understands the bitter fate of her and Plagg being starcrossed lovers, and has accepted it. She knows that the two of them will find each other eventually, but is alright not pushing it. They have a priority of powering up their Chosen, and keeping the world safe from villains. The emotions of the kwamis are secondary.
Again, a lot of depth, emotion, and complexity if I wanted to keep these two within the fannon of “lovers.” I don't know if I want to, though, at least for this story. It may deter from the Adrien/Marinette love story if I brought the complexity of Plagg/Tikki to light.
Also, as bittersweet as it is to think of Plagg and Tikki yearning for each other right alongside Adrien and Marinette, unknowingly, pining for the other, the characterization presented of these two kwamis makes me think of a different dynamic: Siblings.
It still sort of has that pang of separation, especially if they are “twins,” as it were. Think of your siblings, if you have any. Under most circumstances, even if you are polar opposite personalities, and you don't get along all that well, you still love and miss each other if you go a long time not seeing each other. You may even joke about how your sibling no longer exists if you haven't had much contact in a while. You may even live your life as if you didn't have said sibling. Yet, the moment you see that sibling, it all goes away. Love comes back. You realize how much you missed them.
I think THAT is Tikki and Plagg. They are content in knowing that the other exists and is fine – showcased by Ladybug and Chat Noir existing – but don't feel a true need to track down their sibling. At the same time, though, seeing the other will fill them with a sense of love and relief, I'd wager. There would be a warm reunion, or a longing for one, if one spotted the other.
I may change my mind in other fanfics, or when more is revealed during the next season, but for the current fanfic I'm writing, I'm pretty sure I'm going with they're “twins,” or, at least, as “twins” as two cosmic beings can be...
We'll ignore the Wonder Twins...
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| Although it would be equally fun to picture Ronoxym as Plagg and myself as Tikki! XD |
Siblings just makes everything a lot less complicated, and it works well with what we've been presented thus far in the show. I could even see one being exasperated with the other because of how polar-opposite they are to each other, and yet it works.
So, I ran with the sibling idea. I went back a little to make sure Plagg's reaction was appropriate for a twin vs a long-lost lover. I may have to tweak some more, but it seems to work.
I still had the "how to make Plagg confess this, though" question.
I had no direction, and I was getting exhausted. It was late, I was tired, I hid the only place I could with my writing nest in the library buried under..... well.... we'll just leave it at "buried"....
Putting a sleepy person in bed with the gentle heat of a laptop is not the best idea, though.
I started drifting. My mind was jumbled. I would start a sentence, lose where I was going with it, and tag on the ending of a completely different sentence. I would have to stop every three sentences or so, re-read what I wrote, try to remember where I wanted to go with it, rewrite, and then try another couple of sentences before I had to stop and rewrite so it was comprehensible.
I dozed. I woke up. I strained to stare at the computer with no luck at translating the weird squiggles into coherent thought. I attempted to edit. I dozed again. I stood up. I stretched. My back hurt. I laid back down again. I dozed once more. I put on upbeat music. I smacked my cheeks. I still dozed again. I wrote. I checked my word count. I was still about 600 words behind.
I had written about half of what I needed to in order to "win" the summer challenge I put on myself. I could barely see the screen. It was almost 11. I knew I should have called it quits, but if 1275 was tauntingly close to meeting my goal, what was 600 words? I could do that in a single page if I wanted to! I was so close. I had about an hour, close to eight if I had gone to the actual deadline of noon on a Monday, London-time. I could do this.
I typed. I fell asleep. I woke up. I typed some more. I stopped and reread. I wondered what I had just read. I reread again. I still couldn't follow where my sleep-addled brain was trying to lead me. I reread one last time. I deleted everything. I rewrote. I was awake enough to write a handful of coherent sentences before my lids locked closed. I dozed. I woke. I went through the whole five-minute-long process again. And again. And again. And again. At 11:15ish, I checked my word count again: 200 left.
I was close enough. I could close my laptop, wake up early, and punch it out in a couple minutes.
No! I was close. I was going to do it! I felt wide awake now anyway. I got a sentence or two in and dozed. I woke up, wrote a few more sentences. Dozed. Edited. Wrote. Dozed. Wrote. Edited. Dozed. It was now 11:30. I still had about 100 words left!
I tried again: 40 words left. Once more: 20. One last time. I could barely see my screen. I was more-or-less typing with my eyes closed. It was six minutes to midnight. I checked my word count. I was at 1284 words. My grand total was 22,009 words within 6 weeks. I had surpassed what I wanted to write! I had done it!
I wrote for six out of seven days. I wrote seven out of eight days! I wrote 22 out of 42 days! I wrote at least half the time throughout the challenge.
I managed to write 12,974 words in two weeks, when it took me nearly the entirety of July to write 10,000 words!
Am I the only one excited about this? I mean, I know it's small peanuts compared to professional novelists, but that's still pretty cool, right?
Celebrate the small victories, people! It keeps you happy, appreciative, motivated, and well-grounded.
In contrast to that thought, I read Icarus' Descent to the writing group on Tuesday. I think I got a couple of people intrigued with the Cirque de Soliel show "Varekai" as I talked more about the whole story I was planning on working on for NaNo. We also chatted about the Icarus myth itself for a little while.
As for the story I read? I received such good reviews. There were small tweak suggestions here and there, and without first meeting The Guide, Icarus' description of the man was a bit confusing, but I hope that gets ironed out once I put more chapters before this one.
One of the things that people seemed to like the most was how Icarus felt like he literally fell through the stages of grief.
I have a bit of a confession to make, one I probably shouldn't. I should probably let people think I'm some genius, but the odd thing is, I didn't do the stages of grief thing intentionally. I didn't break it down and try to find an image to represent Icarus shifting from one stage to the next. I just pictured what it would be like to be Icarus as he plummeted from the sky; knowing there was no saving him. I didn't think he'd be terrified the whole fall. I didn't think he'd die - or in this case, fall into Varekai - still pleading with the gods to spare him. I just pictured him accepting his fate, and the natural progression from terror to acceptance just lines up with the stages of grief. Probably why they are in the order they're in.
No. I didn't think much about the actual stages. I didn't analyze anything. I just used my empathy to put myself in Icarus' skin, and wrote exactly what he felt. I channeled my character the same way I always do, and he legitimately went through the stages. It made the whole thing feel real, probably because, for him, it was. And if it was for him, it was for me, which then brings it full-circle back to being real for the reader, or... listener, in the case of us reading it aloud to the writing group.
It's the same way I've been working on my fanfic. I go in not really knowing what is going to happen next. I just try to keep Adrien and Plagg in character, and follow what they naturally do. It's real to them, therefore real to me, which translates as real in the story.
It's a strange phenomenon, perhaps. I don't know how many writers truly are "pantsers" to the degree of "channeling" the characters as they tell their story. I may be part of a fifty-fifty split. I may be in the majority, which is why stories feel real and draw people into their world. I may be a minority, which is why there are even more stories that fall flat because there isn't enough empathy for the reader to care. I could be a rare breed, and all other authors do have to put the time and thought into the empathy that draws people in. Regardless, it works, and I'm going to ride the wave.
Now, last week I did talk about a story that is right on the fence-post with the empathy issue. For me, "Atlas Shrugged" has a great character in Dagny, and another great character in Hank. There's an interesting character in Francisco, but he's more intrigue than empathetic. There's also a potentially interesting character in Eddie, but he's not utilized nearly as much as you'd expect as the first person introduced in the novel. I want to know so much more about these four characters, which is why I want to keep reading. Yet, the overall plot just feels so bogged down that it's almost painful for me to push through the bog of words in order to get past the plot and to the actual story involving Dagny, Hank, and Francisco.
I do want to finish the story. I do. It's a classic. There are pop-culture references. My father-in-law loves it. The characters call for me to finish their tale. I- I just can't this year. It's taking too long.
So I officially gave up on "Atlas Shrugged" until 2018. I'll just have "finish this darn novel" as my 2018 challenge!
Which means I need a new book for this month, and possibly a shorter one so I could get another story in as well. Especially since I can't get the Miraculous fanfic I read last month to fit any of the book categories listed in the challenge.
I still haven't picked a replacement book, but I have been going through the thick "Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time" manga to still get my reading in each day. That counts, right? No. Not towards the challenge. It does count as general reading just as much as the fanfic did though....
Well, this post is late enough as it is, and pretty hardy, so I just want to say one last congratulations to The Captain and her First Mate. Enjoy your honeymoon, Quarthix and Wifey.
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