Check Out My Milestones

It's the last week of the month and, as per usual it seems, I again don't have a new work to post for the month. Yes, I've been posting Peeping Tomcat every week, but I wanted to post something new each month ON TOP OF the completed fanfics. So I really need to bunker down and try to figure out what to do with that.

I have two options in mind.

The first option revolves around the fact that Quarthix's wife recently got some D&D 5.0 rule books, and is planning to run her very first campaign. So, since I wasn't able to use her in Bear's campaign, I decided to revive Elymoxa. Now, one of the key changes to D&D from 3.5, which is what I first learned, and 5.0 is the new bit of character creation: Backgrounds.

In 3.5 you just needed to know your character's race, class, age, name, and physical description. You could fill in the blanks all you want from there, and a lot of people didn't bother with a back story. They just ran with this flat character until elements of the campaign filled them out. Not a bad strategy, and one I used often, but it adds a lot of depth to the characters and campaign to have that back story BEFORE you start role playing to help make decisions within the first few games; the time where non-backstoried characters are still kind of getting their footing.

Having the "mandatory" backgrounds part of character creation - complete with a chapter of potential backstories and the bonuses it gives the character - is very similar to how characters are built in Numenera. While it can be a bit restrictive - both me and Quarthix's sister were struggling because we felt our characters equally fit two different backgrounds - having the background options in the book can also be awesome in helping a player build a character.

While I did have to tweak the back story I already created for Elymoxa in order to fit the options available via the 5.0 D&D Player's Handbook, it also opened me up for a lot more possibilities than I originally thought.

For Bear's game, Moxie was just playful in an almost childish fashion, worse than most gnomes. She killed because she was told "this person/thing/beast is evil" and it was something to do in her otherwise humdrum life. She memorized all the bardic tales of mighty heroes and desperately wanted to be one of them. She was warned that her narrow and callused views of what makes a legendary hero vs epic monster could lead her to the path of corruption of one of the Prime Evils; turning her into little more than a hollowed out puppet within the Divine War. She shrugged off the warnings, claiming she was too smart to let herself fall into corruption. She eventually became bored with her village life and started out as an adventurer, where she quickly learned she was over her head, but her pride stopped her from returning home so shortly after leaving. Eventually, she would have joined up with the rest of Bear's campaign party: Mahtab, Korlmitz, Rensin, and any others those core three picked up.

Elymoxa 2.0 has these as her following official Backstory Traits:

• Her generic backstory category is Folk Hero.
• The defining event that made her the village folk hero was: She stood alone against a terrible monster.
• Two personality traits chosen were: 
• "I misuse long words in an attempt to sound smarter." 
• "I get bored easily. When am I going to get on with my destiny?"
• Her ideal is the Destiny tract: "Nothing and no one can steer me away from my higher calling."
• A bond to her hometown is: "I wish my childhood sweet heart had come with me to pursue my destiny."
• Her fatal flaw is: "I'm convinced of the significance of my destiny, and blind to my shortcoming and risk of failure."

Sensing a theme? I used the original backstory, looked over the options for Background, and "Folk Hero" seemed the closest to her personality. Plus, it gave me the trait "Handle Animal" which is sort of a running gag between me and my friends whenever it comes to my D&D characters. Once I chose Folk Hero I again scanned the potential sub-options through the lens of her original back story. The word "destiny" just popped up too much to ignore for someone who strived to become another legendary hero the bards sang.

I even debated changing her from a bard to a fighter, because bards sing about heroes while fighters tend to become them. However, in my mind she's a marksman who takes joy in the subtle slyness of seemingly harmless songs actually influencing and affecting the outcome of battle. So, for now, she's still a bard. One who strives to be the first to have other bards sing about? Or perhaps she believes she's the only bard capable enough to truly capture her exploits? She does have that cockiness of "I misuse long words in an attempt to sound smarter."

I couldn't resist giving her that trait. It just was too amusing to me, and seemed kind of fun. I just need to remember to MISUSE the long words when I'm playing her.

I have to evoke Couch Wittenberg from "Hey, Arnold!" and his routine misuse or mispronunciation of big words to sound smarter in front of his elementary aged students.

Er.... I need to evoke the speech patterns, not the harshness.... But you get the idea.

I also have that new added concept of a childhood sweetheart for Elymoxa. So I need to figure that out. And, worse of all for me, I had to pick a gnome! One of the defining traits of the gnome race is that they LOVE names. They have a clan name, but each of their parents, their grandparents, and even any aunts and uncles they might have all give the gnome a name. Then members of the community all give the child nicknames as they connect with each other. Gnomes could "collect" dozens of names, each more goofy and "fun sounding" than the last. When it comes to gnomic names, my husband can come up with them on the fly easily. Me? I'm totally going to over-analyze each and every one.

At least Elymoxa in and of itself has multiple nicknames built right into it: El, Elly, Mox, Moxa, and Moxie, which is why I gave her the name in the first place. In truth, I'm sure I could break down any part of her name to make a nickname.... Lym, Ox, Za, Elm, etc.

My other saving grace is that Elymoxa will be adventuring with humans, and, according to D&D Players Handbooks of just about all variants, humans tend to be "stuffy" when it comes to names. Having too many gets confusing to a human. So gnomes tend to stick with the clan name - their family/last name - one of their given names, and one nickname they can suggest the party uses. They most likely will also encourage the party members to come up with their own nicknames if they so choose.

When a gnome says "I pretty much answer to anything" they probably mean it.... But it does still leave me with a Clan name and favorite nickname to choose.

Okay, so Elymoxa's new back story, derived from the D&D Player's Handbook traits I selected, is one option for my monthly work. And probably the one I'll be going with.

I did say I had two options though. My second is to do something similar with what I did for "The Birth of the Mimicker". I'm going to be posting Mimicker's chapter - chapter 5 - this Friday, which means my next akuma attack - chapter 9 - is only a month from needing to be posted.

I'M STILL STUCK! I haven't figured anything out for Masketeer, or if I even want to use him, or save him for a later fanfic and create someone new. The big thing that is stopping me is figuring out how he attacks and where he akuma would be hidden. It seems logical that the akuma would be in his mask, but Mimicker already had her akuma in her visor. I would feel like a one-trick pony if I had both shown akuma attacks having the supervillain's akuma hidden on a piece of costume covering their face. Not to mention having both supervillains having names starting with "M".

To help figure this out, I might have to write out a "what brought on the negative emotions to be akumatized" story, as well as the first attacks before LB and CN could make it to the scene. Get all that "behind the scenes" info out of my head so I can move past this writer's block. But figuring out the akuma and the attack is only half the battle. I also still need to figure out how this attack could push the story forward.

Mimicker's attack is supposed to showcase Adrien's dynamic with Ladybug, his capabilities as a superhero, and his love for Ladybug. That last one is important. He doesn't have a crush on her. He's not smitten with her. He doesn't idolize her. He's legit in love with her, warts and all. Mimicker's chapter shows Ladybug kind of at her worst, but Adrien still loves her deeply and shows himself a true partner: picking up the slack when she needs him to, bringing her off her high horse, reminding her of her goodness, and encouraging her to be better.

The first chapter of PT has Adrien lament sucking as a superhero. The fifth chapter shows that he's actually pretty good at it, as well as the fantastic partner Ladybug truly needs. He IS worthy of being called one of Paris' Guardians, even if he doesn't believe so anymore after all the spying on Marinette he's done.

Showcasing the dynamic between him and Ladybug, as well as how he treats Ladybug as an equal instead of this pedestaled goddess, also sets up the struggle he has once he realizes he has a crush on Marinette. The reader, even if they haven't seen the show, should understand that Adrien isn't just some lovesick kid. He truly does love Ladybug, and realizing he has a crush on someone else should be palpably devastating.

Finally, showing off the Ladybug character should help hint that she and Marinette are the same person, or at least that they each share some of the same "off character" traits: Ladybug having Marinette's shyness and dislike of Chloe, and in turn Mari having LB's confidence and bravery. This is a way to have the reader see the same parallels between the "two girls" that Adrien sees.

I know what I want this chapter to accomplish. Even though Adrien's turmoil over Marinette, his relationship with her, and his disgust in his own spying on her are all put on pause, the akuma attack isn't a "filler" chapter. It has purpose still.

I just hope that once I'm done editing it this week I will have accomplished my goals the way I wanted.

The Masketeer though? I know the basic reasoning and purpose of that chapter as well, but I haven't figured out how to GET to those points.

While Mimicker's chapter shows that Adrien is a capable superhero despite his own self-doubt, Masketeer brings him back down. He won't be brainwashed by the supervillain like he did leading into the first chapter, or like he has in five different episodes throughout the series. However, I'm still debating if he'll at least be hit by the supervillain, like he did in three episodes: Timebreaker "killed" him when she tagged him and froze him in time, Reflekta effectively took away his powers when she turned him into a copy of herself, and Pixelator trapped him inside a picture until he could use his Cataclysm to break out.

He'll be distracted by his guilt over spying on Marinette under the guise of "getting to finally know her," only to project the things he loves about Ladybug onto a "more accessible person" - or so he thinks. He's also feeling guilty about "betraying" Ladybug by falling for "someone else." So he can't be his playful, carefree self around even her.

On top of that, while Mimicker had the added layer of making Adrien wonder if his newfound obsession with Marinette was any different than Louise's obsession with Chloe, I also need Masketeer to play with Adrien's inner turmoil. Perhaps pushing the weight of guilt that comes from lies, or hiding behind masks, or not seeing people for who they truly are, or.... I don't know, something like that.

I should probably pick a "moral" first, huh?

I also need to have Ladybug not be so flustered this time, aside from her concern for Chat Noir. She's the most capable superhero Paris has. While she'll always say that she can't save Paris without CN, she not only HAS saved it single-handedly on multiple occasions while CN has been brainwashed, but one of those times she was fighting against CN and four other villains!

She took out the recreations of RogerCop, Evillustrator, and Lady WiFi, while also stopping CN from attacking her, AND stopped the actual akumatized supervillain Puppeteer. All in one blow, I might add. Hence having the time to casually whistle as she walked over to the location of Puppeteer's hidden akuma.

Anyway, I need THAT Ladybug to come to the party to prove how important Chat Noir truly was in the Mimicker chapter. That he's her compass that points her in the right direction.

It would also show that, while Marinette may claim she doesn't have romantic feelings for CN, that partnership, connection, and concern isn't just one-sided; even if it is a bit skewed towards Adrien. Ladybug will show just as much concern for CN's unusual behavior as he showed about hers. She'll also try to be encouraging, but in the end it will backfire.

All the words of encouragement will just hurt him as it adds to his guilt, and then he'll become even more enraged that he can't talk to her because they agreed to never reveal anything personal. For fear that they'll learn each other's identities.

If only they knew that ship will sail in the next chapter....

A lot of undertone needs to happen in that upcoming chapter, and I have nothing! So, those are the two options I have: a second "spin-off" one-shot to help me build up to the ninth chapter of "Peeping Tomcat" or an origin story for my D&D character.

Which would you prefer to read? Let me know in the comments section.

As for the most recent chapter of "Peeping Tomcat"? Well, before I go any further, you can check it out right here:

FanFiction         ArchiveOfOurOwn         DeviantArt

This chapter has had roughly the same stats as the second chapter: a slight improvement, but not as massive a jump as the previous week. I thought a fluffy Adrinette chapter would get more love. I guess MariChat shippers really do rule the fandom, huh?

I have noticed another factor, though. I made sure the first chapter coincided with the premiere of the twelfth episode "Captain Hardrock" as well as the long-awaited arrival to Netflix in the United States. The show was all sorts of hyped up, regardless which country you watched from. The following week - the one that matched up with the release of my second chapter - there was no new episode of Miraculous. No real "drive" to send people to read fanfiction. The love and want of fanfiction is always there, but people seem more excited and hungry for it after watching a new episode. So, that could explain why the second chapter didn't seem quite as popular as the first.

Then, the next new episode "Zombizou" came out the same day I posted my third chapter, and it got a lot of love. Again, perhaps it was because people were excited over the latest episode and were hungry for fanfics.

This past Friday, however, there was no new episode again. It was supposed to air Saturday morning on Disney Channel UK, but I have no clue if it actually did. Normally I can find the episode that evening or the next day on YouTube. I still haven't found anything other than Spanish-language promotions for the latest episode, which is going to air in Spain and Mexico on May 4th, assuming I remember Spanish enough to have translated correctly.

So, for all intents and purposes, there was again no new episode for the week that I posted my fourth chapter. Which may again explain the dip in popularity increase.

Let's check the stats. First, that 24-hr rush:

FFN: 636 views, 1 fave, and 5 followers. But a surprising 4 new reviews!
AO3: 200 views, 3 kudos, 1 bookmark, but still no new reviews
DA: 9 views, 4 faves, and holding strong with no comments

Total Results: 845 views, 8 faves, 6 followers, and 4 reviews

Three out of the four comments were:
  1. This was so sweet! I look forward to more!
  2. Wow nice chapter
  3. I'm wondering if chats going to see Alya and Nino then start worrying because Mari is not with them

So, yay, all positive reviews still! I want to pause and talk about the other stats real quick, but then I want to touch upon that fourth review. It's a neat story.

So, my AO3 views do seem to keep dropping, but I've talked enough about that. I want to instead note that I DID get a new bookmark, so yay that I added at least one more follower. I'm now officially at 100 people following my story between FanFiction and ArchiveOfOurOwn. That's super neat!

I also want to clarify that the "four faves" with DeviantArt is one person liking all four chapters. So, yay that I have a new person favoriting the story, and also yay that they actually liked EVERY CHAPTER, as opposed to the previous faves. Small victories? Even if it isn't as "impressive" as having four new people? I dunno, I think I prefer the one new fan who liked every chapter I wrote....

Another neat thing that happened within those 24-hrs was that "Peeping Tomcat" was added to a FanFiction.net community.

FFN's community definition is pretty simple: "Communities are custom archives organized by active members containing hand-picked stories from community volunteers."

So, like a public "playlist" of stories. PT got added to "The Best, Funny and Romantic Fanfiction" although I'm not sure which category it falls into. I would love to say "all three" but I doubt it.

The description for the community is: "a community for either the best written work, or the best funny one-liner, or even just the best plot or character development. has romance, angst, comedy (especially comedy), and other genres as well as all fandoms that have taken my fancy." [sic]

The community has nearly 33,000 stories, and I can't seem to find a way to filter by fandom, so I'm not so sure how this community of 19 followers is going to really spread the word of my story - how it's even going to be found within the community - but it's still a neat milestone. Also, who knows? Maybe this community WILL help spread the word. I mean, yes, it is 33,000 stories to sift through, as opposed to the 12,300 if you go through the Miraculous topic search, however, if someone's willing to sift through all the different fandoms, I'm sure not all 12,300 stories are in this community. Which might mean I have more of a fighting chance to be found? Maybe? Probably not, but let's look for that silver lining, shall we?

Now, back to that last review. It was by someone named MadHatterLilith.

MadHatterLilith: Oh no. I hope it's not Louise! She might not be confident in herself but she seemed so sweet the way she tries to see good in Chole! (Which can be pretty hard to see most of the time.)
           Everyone needs a friend like Alya; her excuses sounded natural. If it weren't for Nino's "I don't feel a draft", it might not have even seemed like she was setting them up. But they also need a friend like Marinette who'll remind them that they're amazing as themselves and to not change just to seem cool. Adrien and Marinette's little popcorn and candy system and that hand holding part was adorable too. Even out of the superhero suits, they work well together lol Except when the popcorn goes up in the air instead, haha! Such a sweet chapter!

Hatter is such a sweetie for thinking so! But this story hasn't even hit the cool part yet.

As I've mentioned a few times before, I'm part of a fanfiction group on Facebook. About once a week the group owner adds a handful of new members. We always ask them what they like to read and/or write. Since the group is set up as 18+, mainly so no one has to worry about their language or the stories they want to share, most of the group does read more.... mature.... content. Which also tends to mean not many people are in fandoms intended for children, such as Pokemon, Gravity Falls, My Little Pony, or Miraculous Ladybug, etc. Well, one of the new members stated that ML was one of the fandoms she's really into right now, and I got excited. I gushed a bit over finding someone else from my fandom and, among other things, I asked what stories she would suggest I read.

It kept her about a week to respond, but last Wednesday she gave me her list. She decided to start at the back of the Miraculous collection - about 670 pgs worth of story listings - and work her way forward to the most recent ones, and I think she said she's now around pg 620, so she's making progress. She then gave me a list of sixteen stories, along with a notation as to whether the story was a one-shot, completed, abandoned, or on-going. She also included brief descriptions such as "sweet one-shot", "my favorite reveal to date", and "I'll probably favorite this author." All of the stories she suggested are now on my "read later" list.

The trippy part was the last story she suggested. I'm sure you have all guessed by now, but I'll tell you anyway. The bottom of her list stated:
"Peeping Tomcat" by Lycorogue (ongoing, 3 chapters. This one's really recent. First ML fanfic I read and I liked it right away. It even updates regularly!)

Again, we didn't know each other's handles at this point, so I just stared in shock! I had someone suggest MY OWN STORY to me! Someone who didn't know I was the author thought my story was good enough to pass along to a fellow in the fandom. That's.... I mean.... HOW COOL IS THAT!?

Now, I COULD have played it cool; not said anything until I posted the next PT chapter and have HER realize what she did. I could have also been like "Oh, my handle? It's LycoRogue... ;)" I could have been discretely humble: "Oh. Thanks. I wrote that." I could have done tons of things to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal, that it happens all the time.

Instead I decided to be the grateful nerd that I am and GUSHED:

Me: OMG! OMG! OMG! What's your handle!? I love you! That's me! I'm LycoRogue! Peeping Tomcat is my story! You're awesome for thinking it's good enough to share!

Yeah, I'm super cool that way....

MadHatterLilith: Holy crap! I can't believe I recommended a fic to its creator! But seriously, it is a really great fic! Thank you for writing it! It's the first ML fic I read and it's made me a huge MariChat shipper. I love the idea of Adrien just getting hooked on watching Marinette just being herself and that he realises he might be being a bit creepy by watching her. I'm also super excited cause he's actually trying to get to know her as Marinette because he honestly wants to know her instead of "hhm, she might be Ladybug" curiosity, you know? And how when Marinette thought she heard someone outside, she was slightly concerned. I loved how you wrote the characters.Although, I should probably write that in a review instead haha. But really, I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Haha, I guess that was the motivation she needed to give that above review. So SO sweet of her to put in the effort. I'm still flabbergasted. But to move on, let's see how much more love my story has received since Friday?

FFN: 941 views, 5 faves, 12 followers, and 4 reviews
AO3: 317 views, 7 kudos, 1 bookmark, and 1 new review
DA: 10 views, 4 faves, but no comments

Total Results: 1268 views, 16 faves, 13 followers, and 5 reviews

The review said:
Poor Louise doesn't even see how her idol really is.

Check out that view count! And I'm now up to nearly 100 followers on just FanFiction alone! We'll see how much more that grows, shall we? In the meantime, I still have some more writing to do! Until next week, my lovelies!

1984 and Drow; Perfect for the Holidays

I noticed that this year in particular, there seems to be an influx of the pro-Happy-Holidays memes such as this one:

 As well as this one:

And I have to admit, I'm inclined to agree. In fact, my Roman Catholic mother believed so adamantly that we should respect and know other people's religions, that she taught them to us. Granted, the majority of the holidays outside of Christmas that we observed and learned about were still Christian based, such as Santa Lucia and Saint Nicolas Day - where I learned about Krampus as well, mind you. Still, we also learned about and observed Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, and Kwanzaa, as well as a broad overview of the Muslim observances. I'm sure she would have actually fit more religions in if she could, but she was a single mother, and adding ANYTHING outside your own religion during an already crazy holiday month is impressive in my book.

My point being, if you have had or will have a religious holiday this month, I wish it to be a happy, spiritual, safe, and loving one. If you are an atheist, I wish you a safe, loving, and happy month with family and friends, especially for holidays like Christmas that has become just as much a secular holiday about family and giving as it is the religious observance of Jesus' birth.

OK, well, now that I got that out of the way, on to the reason for my blog: writing.

Of which I still haven't really done any.

Me and Bear didn't really manage to connect last week in order for me to do the solo session with Jolene that I've needed to do for about two weeks now. So, once again, the girl is in limbo. Which meant I didn't really have anything to do for this Saturday's game. Not that it mattered, because a) I forgot it was Saturday until about 10:30; stupid last-minute Christmas shopping and the like, and b) I apparently wasn't the only one who couldn't/didn't make it to game, so Bear had everyone make their new characters instead. Or so it seemed when I looked at the chat log.

As Jolene's group of Northerners slowly implodes, Bear decided to create a secondary campaign that we'd bounce back and forth between: one week Northerners, one week Southerners. Otherwise known as the dark elves: Drow.

To help me catch up after my oopsie of missing the building session, Bear and I have been building me a drow character in an almost painfully slow pace. Just like Jolene, I started off with just a class in mind, and then the faintest idea of physical looks, but not much else personality, drive, or backstory wise.

So, that was the main thing I worked on yesterday.

I started off with the idea that I wanted to play a male this time; see how I do with the opposite sex. I then decided that most of my characters are social, and they don't really fair well, so why not a more physical character this time? Thus, I landed on Fighter as the character class. I know that the Dice Gods hate me or something, because I routinely roll too low to actually manage anything. Thus, I knew I needed a character who could take a hit; otherwise known as a tank. The character that willingly takes the brunt of the attacks because he can handle getting hit. While the enemy is fixated on him, the other party members go in for the kill. The main way to be a fighter tank is to go "sword and board" - one-handed weapon coupled with a shield.

Alright, so all of those basics were figured out. I was then going to go very anti-Jolene. Someone who was a good fighter, but not very charismatic. Someone who isn't a moron, but not very crafty or witty. Someone who may be shy instead of flirty. Someone who maybe didn't talk much at all - strong silent type - but when he did talk, it was something of note.

Then I realized that what I was doing was merging Rensin and Corlmitz together to make myself a character, so I scrapped that idea. This new guy is back to being a bit more Jolene-like. He's more lithe than bulk for a fighter. He's the kind of guy who would spin on his knees while still participating in swordplay before gracefully getting back onto his feet, so, a more dexterous fighter than strength-based one. He's got a casual coolness to him. He doesn't openly flirt, but he knows he's attractive and will purposely lean a specific way, angle his head in a certain direction, toss his hair, or casually strike a pose in order for girls to swoon. He's not very silver-tongued, but he's still a bit on the suave side of things. He also LOVES swordplay, and is usually grinning ear to ear whenever he can participate in it; especially against someone else who knows what they're doing. He'll joke and banter while fighting, but can get intensely serious if the need arises.

I told Bear to think of my new character as someone along the lines of Westley and Inigo atop the Cliffs of Insanity in "The Princess Bride", or Legolas and Gimli in "The Lord of the Rings", or, well, most renditions of Robin Hood. Upon further thought in the matter, and the addition of my realization that he knows he's handsome and would accept a lady's company whenever it's offered, I also added in Bronn the Sellsword from "Game of Thrones"; specifically the TV series, since I have yet to crack open the book series.

I also sifted through a few dozen pictures on drow in Google Images, and landed upon this one to be my character, a dark elf from the game Lineage II:

My favorite feature is the short hair. Most drow are depicted with long, flowing locks. It made this guy stand out for me.

I sent all I knew to Bear, but I still didn't have much by way of backstory or real drive. Sure, I'll make him a sellsword - if Bear decides that knights-for-hire exist in that society - but WHY is he a swordsman for hire? Is there a fight he won't participate in, regardless of coin earned? Why doesn't he take on some other profession? Is there a reason money seems to be his key drive? Is it the money that put him in the profession, or was there another bit of the job that he finds enjoyment out of? What would his convictions be once grouped with the party? Would he have convictions, or would he just follow whatever the rest of the party says? Is there a line he won't cross? Does he have his own code of ethics? There's a lot that needs to be fleshed out based on these small details.

Plus, I've never played a race outside the D&D core rulebook: Human, Elf, Dwarf, Gnome, Halfling, Half-Elf, or Half-Orc. So I wasn't sure how to play a drow. I don't really know their racial culture and attitude. On top of that, Bear's drow are slightly altered from the "traditional" ones in D&D, so there's that. All-in-all, I felt a bit lost. Especially when I told Bear my concept for Kizar, my desert nomad who was basically exiled into the mainland of Vahamdras:

See, the problem is, I only had the most basic, loose cultural information for the desert people of Bear's world. I used that to come up with a really neat character concept, but according to Bear, there are a lot of factors in his world - that I didn't know about - that would have prevented a majority of Kizar's backstory to have taken place. Essentially killing the character. I'll just have to rework the rival clans of his backstory so that they aren't Bear's any longer, and find a way of building him into Gyateara.

Point being, I was afraid of the same thing happening to my drow. I created Jolene, only for her to not really mesh with either the world or the party she was grouped with. It's been a fun read to see the drama that now swirls around her because of that, but it's exhausting as her player, and it's probably equally exhausting for those playing alongside her, let alone Bear trying to run a campaign when she unintentially derails it all the time with personal drama. I then created Elymoxa the gnome, only for her to also be shot down due to not really fitting with the world/party. Next up was Kizar, whose backstory was so amazingly unorthodox for Bear's world and the culture he came up with for his desert tribes that Kizar wouldn't have worked either.

I was nervous of it happening again, as, it seemed, was Bear. So, we are in an agreement: he's building a few different drow fighters for me to pick from and build from there. That way I know the skeleton works with his world. It's fairly easy for me to flesh out a character from that point.

I mean, Willow was a skeleton NPC that became one of my favorite characters. Crystal technically still is an NPC, but I feel I've fleshed her out more than simply "She's an Irishman who is in the US for protection and training, here is her power set, she doesn't really have a filter, and she's obsessed with Tyler." Colette was celestialTyrant's character, but he didn't have much time to flesh her out before work overwhelmed him. For her, I basically had "She's the Canadian daughter of Wolverine, here is what she looks like, here is her power - which makes her nervous around people - and she's a complete Otaku."

The bits of my drow that I know - fun-loving, sword-wielding tank who can be a bit of a lady's man even though he doesn't outwardly flirt - I sent to Bear as a base, along with the picture I chose. So, now I'm waiting for him to finish setting up the character options, and then pick from there. We'll see what comes out of that, as well as if we can manage to get Jolene's solo session finally out of the way before the end of the year.

In the meantime, I'm back to minor world-building of Gyateara. Mostly to see if I can find a way of shifting Jolene over to my world instead of Bear's. For the most part, I only really need to change the name of the country she's in, a few of the towns she frequented, and the deities she evokes when angered: instead of "Oh god" or "Christ!" she'd say - in Bear's setting - "Oh gods" or "Vestulaan save me..."

I haven't actually gotten anywhere with my continuing build of Gyateara. I've mostly been playing around on FantasyNameGenerators.com, and rereading what I already have established. It may amount to SOMETHING someday. I'm just no good at solidifying anything. I'm much more reactionary than take-charge.

If you were to give me a playground and told me to have fun, I could do wonders. Give me an open field and tell me to build the playground of my dreams, and I'm overwhelmed with the logistics of everything.

I'll figure it out at some point, though. I know I will. Until that point, I'll just slowly chip away at it.

The week wasn't a complete wash, though, I did manage to pick up a copy of "Nineteen Eighty-four" by George Orwell from the public library. A few days behind where I wanted to be. I wanted to finish "Hammer of Thor" by the 10th, so that I could read my next book between the 11th and 20th - today - and then finish the year reading one last book. Well, I did finish "Hammer of Thor" after publishing my blog last week - I mean, RIGHT after publishing it - but I still couldn't get my hands on "1984" until late Thursday.

Still, I am already over 170 pages into the book, and a couple pages ahead of schedule to be done by my Christmas deadline. I'll just have to figure out a book I can blast through in about 6 days for my "Book I should have read in school." However, apparently "1984" is one of the books a lot of kids have on their required reading in school. There is a trio of dystopian novels that most kids have to read: "1984", "Brave New World", and "Fahrenheit 451". I read "Fahrenheit 451" in middle school. I read "Brave New World" in high school. By natural progression, one would assume I'd read "1984" in college, but it was never even on a recommended read list.

A lot of the "previously banned" books have become "required school reading" books over the years, so it's only natural that the two would overlap. Still gives me wiggle room for my last book: another banned book I could claim should have been on my school's required reading list?

Either way, I'm happy that I'm making such good progress with "1984", and I'm really enjoying the book. I was kind of hit-or-miss with Orwell's other dystopian story "Animal Farm." It was an intriguing plot, and an interesting way of showcasing the cultural commentary. There were parts, though, that I was kind of "whatever" about. Or, perhaps I only recall being "whatever" about them because we weren't able to actually ENJOY the story. We had to analyze every bit of it for English class.

Either way, with regards to "1984," even though there's parts of the main character Winston, and his love interest Julia, that I find a bit extreme and vaguely sociopathic, all-in-all, I'm rooting for them. If no other reason than the fact that Orwell did an excellent job at showing that Big Brother and the Oceanic government are a totalitarian society that needs to be overthrown.

All-in-all, thus far I must say that the book is indeed a reread must. If nothing else, because Orwell doesn't spell anything out for the reader. Winston knows his environment, and he's not going to directly explain any of it to the reader. Instead, small bits of information - such as the meaning of certain Newspeak words - comes to light slowly throughout the book. Which then makes earlier, semi-confusing passages make a world of sense. Already, once I've received a definition or explanation that was a mystery before, I have flipped back to reread about five different passages; now better knowing their full meaning. It's amazing how something as simple as knowing the throw-away word "Proles" is Newspeak shorthand for Proletariat can make a confusing passage within the first ten pages a key explanation of the two different classes within the Oceanic society.

Anyway, it's nearly time for me to publish, and this blog - which is discussing yet another week I didn't write anything - is already quite lengthy.

So, even though I started off this blog with a merry "Happy Holidays" to all, I AM Christian, so I'll finish off with this thought for Sunday:

Climbing Out of a Little Depression; Don't Mind Me

I feel like I need to start off with the elephant in the room: Donald Trump is the United States' president-elect.

Now, I won't get into the politics of this and the social effects this has. That's not what this blog is for. What I will say is that regardless which side you were on with this election, this week was emotionally draining, and a bit of a shock.

So, I was already in a daze from the election. That Wednesday evening I was hoping for some much-needed distraction. Due to their move and lack of internet, Bear had to cancel two games, so he had one of the "make up" sessions last Wednesday. During said session Rensin - and Dunina - was frozen in stone by a basilisk gaze. So.... still emotionally charged.

I was itching to write Jolene's entry on this, but the characters weren't in a good resting spot, so it didn't make in-game sense for her to journal about it. I'm waiting until the "dungeon" is cleared before I post my next journal, but boy howdy will it be long!

At least two others couldn't wait, but I'll get to that in a bit.

This week for NaNo, I was writing about Jolene's third love: Parvil Kiv.

Addison by CrystalCurtisArt
Commissioned by WindyAutumnMoon for her character

It occurs to me that I don't think I shared the images I found for each of Jolene's loves, so I'll backtrack real quick before continuing on.

First up is the first - and strongest - love of Jolene's life. She's loved others since him, and Rensin is super close to being on par with the love she had for him, but this is the ruler others are measured against: Jacob Highwin.

How I picture Jacob dressed up
and while working the forge
Yvad Trevelyan - Skyhold Outfit by Slugette

Imagine Jacob with honey-brown eyes
instead of these purple ones
Yvad Trevelyan by Slugette

The last gentleman I'm going to share this week is Jolene's second love Teo Apenell. There's actually a really awesome scene that I wrote between him and Jacob. Poor sap didn't realize he'd hurt Jolene almost as much.

Image found via Pintrest
Original source unknown

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I was writing about Parvil this week. Sadly, I don't really have much on Parvil. His relationship with Jolene was basically "rebound boy after being heart broken over Teo," and he was more into a physical relationship than an emotional one. He was the "rebel" she was with for a brief stint. Good for backstory purposes, but now that I have to write out the actual relationship, I've got nothing. I'm running on empty.

I wrote the chapter that introduced him, but I just can't write the next one. I've been chipping away at it a few-hundred words at a time, but I really should have had this finished by Thursday at the latest.

Proof that planning really DOES help with writing momentum. I had so much figured out for Jacob, and he ended up sticking around for four chapters. Then I had a nice chunk of information figured out for Teo, and he was another three-chapter character. Now that I'm Pantsing the part I'm writing about Parvil, I'm slugging along.

It also doesn't help that I know this chapter is most likely the one where Jolene finds Parvil with the lusty barmaid. It's already an emotionally charged week; I just can't mentally put myself there without sobbing and curling in the corner to weep. It actually already happened this week.

See, along with the emotionally draining election, and the emotionally charged game where Rensin got frozen in stone, there were at least two other things that got me really emotionally raw this week.

While part of me doesn't want anyone to see my unedited work - which is why I'm not posting it here - I still kind of want input. So, since I was going to convert the edited version into the canonical back story for Jolene anyway, I decided to share my progress on the forum Mouse made for the game.

I warned people that it was raw and unedited. Not a problem. I then posted the link to the Google Doc I'm constantly updating. Still good to go. Theeeeeen I noticed that Rensin responded to my link.

Seems he was burnt, bad, by a fanfiction writer before. To the point where he cannot stand fanfiction or fanfiction writers. It felt like he thought them downright deplorable. This stung. This drove a knife right to my core.

Everything I had told myself over the past years - all my writing doubt - it came erupting to the surface. The thoughts that I'm not an actual writer because I need the crutch of someone else doing the work of world-building and/or character building. The hate that I'm incapable of doing something original. The slacker attitude that I was doing FANFICTION for NaNo while there are thousand others "doing it correctly" by writing something completely original this month.

It was like my inner editor and writing doubts were given a mouthpiece, and it was someone I respected for his writing; someone I wanted to better befriend. Instead, I now shrink away from him. I feel just completely unworthy, and almost fear meeting him outside of the game setting. It.... it was bad. I couldn't think about my story for a day or two. I just kept thinking that he was right, that I was deplorable for writing this fanfic instead of trying to do something myself.

Mouse came to my rescue. She told Rensin that it was fine; that she and Bear knew me and trusted me; trusted my writing. She then cheered me on.

Still, the wound was there, and her standing up for me - and Rensin's subsequent "Oh, okay then" - couldn't stitch it closed. I tried to ignore it. I tried to let it be, but every time I logged onto the board and I saw Rensin's name as "last poster" on my NaNo thread I hurt. So, against my better judgement, I explained my hurt to him. I tried to be diplomatic about it: This is how you hurt me, please think stuff like that through before you attack someone next time. However, I was still emotionally raw from everything else this week, so I guess it came across as me being the one doing the attacking. So, Mouse again stepped in by telling us to be civil.

CIVIL!? I didn't realize I was being hostile. If anything HE was the hostile party, and yet she asked for us to be civil after I posted. That cut me harder; realizing how misunderstood I was.

I guess now I understand how Jolene could be misunderstood in-game. If I couldn't explain myself without people feeling attacked, how could she? No wonder arguments seemed to pop up out of nowhere around her. No wonder her calming, carefully chosen words meant to show concern were always seen as harsh and criticizing.

Again, I sunk further into my writing funk. If I couldn't properly explain or present myself in writing when it comes to my own conversation, how could I possibly do it in my fiction? If my simple words could be so misinterpreted how could I properly tell a story to another?

That inner editor that was supposed to be locked away this month busted out of his cage and was roaring around me about how inadequate I was. I'd read what Rensin wrote on the board in the Myths or Journal sections. I'd read what Corlmitz wrote in his journal, backstory, or Legends section. I'd read what Mouse would put in Mahtab's journal or more world-build info about the various religions. I got emotional. They all provoked such strong emotions in me: anger, fear, sadness, joy, etc. And I watch people react to these posts stating just that.

Then there are my posts: Jolene's posts. Nothing. I'm not even sure others read them. No one ever comments. I am amazed by the writing the others do, and I feel so subpar. It took everything I had to push through. To keep going. To just write this week, even when every ounce of me told me to quit; it wasn't worth it; no one cares; I enrage people with my effort.

If that wasn't bad enough, we then had game on Saturday. We had continued through the "dungeon" - it's a set of sewers under the city they were in - but we're not quite done with it yet. Hopefully, we'll complete it tonight.

Anyway, Jolene is already on edge from Rensin being turned to stone, but he's back to flesh, so she's kind of elated at the same time. Then they came up against a vicious monster. It should have been challenging, but a lot easier for us to take down. Sadly, the dice were not with us that night, and we all rolled far too low to do anything more often than not. This resulted in Rensin and Dunina again nearly kicking the bucket.

Mahtab was able to get them both to full-health - or close to it - easily enough, but she admitted that she probably wouldn't be able to do much more healing that day. That's when Jolene innocently suggested that they retreat, regroup, let Mahtab rest, and possibly get other means to heal so they didn't need to rely on her as much.

Mahtab wasn't hearing it. According to her, she never retreats. Then she basically told Jolene to hide in the back if she wasn't brave/strong enough to fight. That stung. Jolene announced that she was pretty much the only one who came out of the fight unscathed and that she was more worried about them than herself. Frustrated that she again got misunderstood and ridiculed, she stormed ahead. If they wanted to march to their deaths she was done trying to stop them.

That was when the shit hit the fan. Rensin called out for her to "go home" since he couldn't handle her whining and fighting all the time. Jolene argued back that her fighting all the time was to protect HIM since she had to watch him nearly die THREE TIMES within the past week. She couldn't handle it because she loved him. It was the first time she admitted - even to herself - that she loved him.

In truth, I didn't expect Rensin to scoop her up and start a make-out session, overjoyed by her confession; they'd been through too much and she cut him too deep for that. I did, however, expect him to at least sigh and state something to the effect of "about time you admitted it." Or for SOMEONE to state something to that effect. It was obvious to everyone but her that she was madly in love with him. "About time you admit it" and then a "but we have to do what we have to do; we'll discuss this further later." That was more-or-less the reaction I was expecting.

Instead, Rensin swung from left field. He blurted out that he was sick of hearing Jolene focus so much on herself and how what the party does - whether or not they survive - effects HER. He then accused her for not understanding him. That's when he dropped the bomb that he re-evaluated his feelings and realized what he felt wasn't love; never was, and never could be.

Well, I was right there sobbing beside Jolene. And not a single party member tried to comfort her or reprimand Rensin for his harshness. They all stood there, more-or-less releasing a sigh of relief that the volatile relationship finally came to a close. The only one who reacted was Corlmitz, but even THAT was unexpected. He went off on BOTH of them for acting like children and finding the most inappropriate times to hash out their doomed courtship.

The night kind of spiraled from there.

First, there was the emotionally draining election. Quickly followed by an emotionally charged D&D session. That was followed by Real-World Rensin's criticism about me writing fanfiction for NaNo. Which, compacted with how I view everyone else on the board and how I'm sort of the outsider of the group, just tore the dreaded Inner Editor out of my head and plopped him right in front of me to try to battle. I saw myself the way Jolene sees herself within her group: an outsider always misunderstood as selfish and uncaring; disconnected. Then there was character Rensin's random outburst to implode his relationship with Jolene, followed by even more ridicule from Corlmitz. Again, I felt like I WAS Jolene. Was Rensin's harsh breaking off of the relationship somehow emotionally backed by me and Real-World Rensin butting heads about my story? Finally, I have to break poor Jolene's heart a second time by writing her finding Parvil in the arms of another.

I couldn't do it! I couldn't keep working on my story this week. There was just too much. I was just too depressed. I had to climb out of that hole before I was lost to despair.

So I switched over to "Some Like It Flame Broiled."

Can't handle a break-up scene due to crushing depression? Switch over to a smut story filled with violence!

I finally finished it, but I have to also admit that once the foreplay was done the story kind of died off. Apparently I'm great at foreplay, but the actual sex scenes and post-sex fight scene? Meh.

I sent it over to Ronoxym while playfully yelling at him for it. I needed a happy place to hide from Jolene for a while, and apparently that "happy place" was a smut story between Trish and Dark Devon.

Ron got a nice chuckle out of it and we playfully teased each other over the weekend as I kept using SLIFB as my "safe space" to further avoid Jolene and the depression that came with her. However, after I sent the story over to Ron, he agreed with me: about 65% through the story it just kind of died off.

However, with just a quick read through my 13-pg story, that was his only criticism thus far. He even pointed out a line that was perfectly in-character for Dark Devon, and it was during the "meh" part of the story. So... win? I was so concerned that I wasn't going to keep Dark Devon in-character, especially after everything about fanfiction writing this week.

Ron still needs to give it a better read to actually put his Editor's Hat on, but the fact that there weren't parts that he instantly stated as "he's out of character" gives me hope. He joked that he'd help me figure out why the story went sideways at the end. "Together we shall save this smut!" HAHA.

Um, thanks, Ron. I'd really like to have something that is strong all the way through, but at the same time.... all this effort on a story that will most likely never see the light of day....

I also used my depression a bit this week. I did write up Jolene's journal entry while the emotions were still raw. I just have it saved to add to and edit depending on how the rest of the dungeon goes. I'll then post once I'm done.

I've also started writing Jolene's farewell letters to everyone. An individual letter for each party member. I have Mahtab's, Rensin's - which he can't read himself yet...., Corlmitz's, and Dunina's written already. And they are LONG! Sorry, players!

So, I have written a LOT this week. More-or-less 1227 words in SLIFB, 1360 words for Jolene's journal, and 2897 words for the farewells written thus far. Add in the words that I did write, and the fact that I'm scheduling myself Saturdays and Sundays off, and I'd be ahead of the overall word count I should have been at, instead of about 8,000 words behind. I wish I could count it....

Before I get even more depressed with tonight's game, I'll have to push past Parvil's break-up scene. Maybe if I get to the point where I'm writing happy thoughts again - like the start of Jolene's relationships when they believe they're in love - I can push through. I can write.

Wish me luck.

All Aboard the Jolene Train!

Yup. Full-on obsession with Jolene. I literally can't focus on any other character right now. I guess it's a good thing that the X-Future boards have been dead since June - more or less - because I don't know if I could even play as any of those girls right now.

Probably doesn't help that I'm playing Jolene multiple times a week now. We have our normal weekly game, and then a "side quest" day of your choosing.

Bear started creating bounty posters - the one for Jolene is awesome! - as well as quest requests that are posted on the "community boards." In-game, these are boards in a central location of any given town so that everyone can see and possibly respond to the quests/bounties. In the real world, these are side-quests posted on the forum Mouse made at the beginning of the month. You choose what quest you want, a good time for everyone is coordinated, and the questing begins!

Jolene had a solo quest that was both a success and complete fail last night, Mahtab had an epically successful solo quest yesterday afternoon, and Rensin, Corlmitz, and Dunina are all doing a quest tomorrow night. It's a fun added element that not many DMs utilize.

Now, again, aside from explaining why I'm obsessed with Jolene, what does any of this have to do with my writing? Well, for one, the more sessions we have, the more journal entries Jolene will write. I still need to write up the one for last night, but with the other game sessions we've had, I added nearly another 1700 words to her journal this past week. I'm probably going to add at least a couple hundred more today once I write up the next journal entry.

I've also done some brainstorming with Shadow. I wanted to find a picture for the now infamous Jacob Highwin; Jolene's first true love. In the process of trying to track down something that both matched the picture in my head, and match the hype I've written about him thus far in-game, I stumbled upon a bunch of other pictures I liked.

Soon I had a collection of pictures of beautiful men drawn in High-Fantasy style. I decided to add them to the roster of Jolene's past loves. I've named Jacob, as well as the other four men who swore to be with her forever, only to dump her. I started matching up pictures with these names, and when I was done, I still had a few extra. So I gave them some backstory connecting them to Jolene as well.

I then passed the pictures over to Shadow, along with complete improv storytelling of each man, his love affair with Jolene, and why it didn't work out. It just flowed from me, and I only felt the need to slightly tweak a couple of elements.

In the end, I had about a dozen named lovers - ignoring the countless nameless clients Jolene had taken up over the years. I also had a small story involving each of them.

I think I have my new NaNo concept for this year. One that can help me stay with Jolene, and maybe get me to the winning 50,000 words this year. I think I'm going to write about Jolene's love affairs. A chapter or two for each beau. As it is, I'm looking at about 4,000 words per love(r). I'm also assuming that Jacob would get either a lengthy chapter or two, given Jolene was in love with him for about seven years.

This will probably turn into a 70,000 word novel once done....

I've even unofficially started NaNo prep for this story already. A little less than a week ago, after I came up with the skeleton of Jolene's past with these men, I decided to get her actual life timeline - as it were - down on paper. Coincidentally, Bear asked for exactly that about an hour after I started.

Anyway, so, I'm still painstakingly working on this timeline, but I am up to four pages; bulleted. I'm essentially going Year by Year with different major factors of any given season listed on the timeline. As of right now, these "main points" include things like her mother's many miscarriages, and when Jolene fell in love with the next man in her life.

I'll have to come up with a better visual aid for her 21-yrs before I post it officially anywhere, because it's a jumbled mess right now. At least I can understand it, though, and that's what matters.

It will be exciting to have something to read at group again once I actually START this project. Last week I ended up reading the first six entries for Jolene's journal; in other words: first four game sessions, more-or-less. As predicted, the group got a bit lost without the context of the game that lead to that entry. However, they did say that there was ENOUGH in the journals to intrigue them; make them wonder what DID happen. They also enjoy Jolene's personality, which is fun.

They'd love for me to turn the journal into a novel. This means I'd have to find a way to add more detail to a journal-entry-based story so people can actually see the story unfold; not just Jolene's reaction to the events. It's a fun concept, but I don't know if I could re-do Jolene's present. It wouldn't be Jolene if she didn't have this battle about her love for Rensin, this sibling-like respect for Corlmitz, distrust of the cleric Mahtab, or struggle to keep the corruption of the Prime Evil Deceit under control. I couldn't write a story about all of that though, without just transcribing an already transcribed game. It wouldn't be original. It wouldn't "count."

However, there IS something that could be said about converting a good game into a novelization for others to read. I feel like this either hasn't been done before, or only done very rarely before. Then again, just about every geek/nerd has had that ONE game or ONE character that was just so epic it is ALWAYS the fall-to story among your friends.

Hubby has that with his elf character Zalic. Even if you weren't part of the game that Zalic was in, he is still infamous within our group. There is another campaign where Shadow consistently rolled so high for a random NPC that the character not only got a name - Mandito Atarme - but he got his own CHURCH dedicated to him. Then there are tales like this comic I recently found, and now proceed to read whenever I need to weep with laughter:

Read the full comic "Fated"
Written by Jasmine Walls, Illustrated by Amy Phillips

My point being, there might actually be a demand for fun games getting narrated for other geeks to consume. I'd obviously get the OK from all the players first, and count them as co-authors since there wouldn't be a story without them.... Heck, this might also be a "thing." I mean, I've been trying to do the same thing with X-Future via Glitches, but this time I really can't make this story original. This D&D game is just too good as-is.

There's action, drama, intrigue, mystery, danger, angst, and humor - although, I do kind of wish the humor would be a bit higher. We're so serious in this game!

*ahem*

Sorry. Obsessing again. I guess that's my cue to wrap this up.

To recap: I have written this past week, about 1700 words, but it's for Jolene's journal, which my writing group wishes I could add more to so it could be a stand-alone story. However, there's a possibility that I might just get permissions from Bear and the group to novel-ize the transcripts of our games instead of trying to come up with an original story for Jolene, since it won't be the same without the people surrounding her. In the meantime, I'm going to focus on Jolene's backstory, and finish working on the timeline of her past. This will help me with my new NaNo concept of writing about Jolene's many love affairs throughout the course of her young life.

Mixed into all of this is my struggle to think of something NOT relating to Jolene that I could write a flash fiction about, in order to keep up with Ronoxym's challenge for me. As it is, I've missed two weeks.

So, in order to not miss any more weeks, I'm bending the rules a little bit again.

I wrote a story from the perspective of one of Jolene's slighted lovers. It's not necessarily Fanfiction, since it doesn't have a well-publicised "source material" such as a novel, movie/TV show, or game. I mean, there IS D&D, but you could just claim that as generic high fantasy. So, skirting around rule 1. Rule 2 is that it cannot relate or continue previous entries, and it does not since none of the other three have anything to do with Jolene. Rule 3 is that I cannot write about a character I've already created, and I didn't create the character of Orick until after I wrote this story. It's another bend of the rules, but it works, right?

Anyway, cheating a bit or no, this story still - more-or-less - has the spirit of the challenge, so I'm counting it.

"Lost Love"

On DeviantArt           On FictionPress

Now, to write Jolene's history, come up with details about these men so I can write about them next month, as well as figure out what to do for my flash fiction this week. Busy, busy, busy!

Playing Massive Catchup

Alright, well, I definitely didn't intend on completely skipping last week! I was doing so good, too.

I don't have a real valid excuse. My excuse is simply that I had to work last Tuesday, and also...

Here's the quick play-by-play of the past two weeks:

• Wednesday 9/7 - On death's door; crashed after work
• Thursday - Work until 8pm, and then OPENING GAME OF REGULAR SEASON FOOTBALL! We were up until midnightish.
• Friday - Work followed by me zoning out on the couch for hours on end trying to figure out how to level up my character in Bear's campaign.... It was bad....
• Saturday - Work again, half-hour break, and then straight into the weekly D&D session. Things are starting to look bad for Jolene. Me and Bear decided I need to do a solo-session with her to figure out background stuff. I stayed up until it's time to take Hubby into work.
• Sunday - Drop Hubby off; couple hours of sleep; pick him up; work; and then straight into the Giant's rival game! Sunday night football - minus a half-hour between the afternoon and evening games - kept us up until midnightish again.
• Monday - My coworker convinced me to join her in Aerial Yoga. So, right after work, instead of working on this post - knowing full well that I couldn't write it Tuesday due to working - I went to yoga with her, and then straight into the Monday Night Football double-header. By the time the games were over and I was back home it was around 1am.
• Tuesday - Work, and at that point I had been up for so many days in a row that I just zoned out instead of writing this post AFTER work, so that it could go up Wednesday.
• Wednesday - More work, and then straight into laundry. I was going to work on this post there, but it was the only free time Bear had for my solo play. It kept nearly the full two hours I was at the laundromat, and then another hour or so after I got home. Then quick folding/hanging of my clothes before bed.
• Thursday - My 10hr day at work, leading directly into football again. Another late nighter.
• Friday - While this was yet another day that I had every intention of writing my late post, it turned into me cleaning week-long neglected dishes, as well as working on a new weekly challenge Ronoxym gave me; something I'll talk about more in this post.
• Saturday - Work yet again, then about half-hour down time for food, followed by the D&D session leading straight from the Wednesday solo-session. Jolene is REALLY in trouble now, but Bear had to crash early for work, so we had to kind of stop right in the body of the drama! We're continuing with a short session tomorrow night, and I've been antsy about it since Saturday night! More on this in the blog too.
• Sunday - Hubby drop off; Hubby pick up; work; football. I was going to use the much more mellow atmosphere of football watching this week to FINALLY get to my blog, but at that point I figured I'd just write last week off and wait until today.
• Monday - Home stretch. Last day of work before my day off; FINALLY. Aerial Yoga was cancelled, so I left work and just vegged all night; enjoying my freedom.

I feel so bad. Not only did I miss my blog post, but I also haven't had contact with my email pen-pal in nearly two weeks. My brain has been so burnt out that every time I open the email to respond to her my eyes cross and drop focus. So, I guess I know what I'm doing when I'm done with this post.

I've been slacking a bit on my prep for NaNo, and my writing has died down a bit with my brain being all fuzzy, but I haven't stopped completely.

On Friday the 9th I was able to get a hold of Ronoxym via FB messenger. Generic "how's things" talk for a little bit. I then tried to strong-arm him into doing NaNoWriMo with me and Cyhyr. I think I MIIIIGHT have convinced him, but he's a busy boy, so who knows? Between work, new-fatherhood, and going back to school, I have no clue where he'll find the time. Still, I'll be evil and poke him during November to ask how his writing is going.

Anyway, as we were talking "shop" I reminded him that he never gave me the writing challenge he said he made up for me back in January/February. After a brief moment of "Uh... let me remember what it was...." he gave me my challenge: write a new 1000-words or less flash fiction each week!

I'm now REALLY glad that he had forgotten about exchanging challenges until just now. Finishing up the last quarter of the year with this challenge will be interesting enough. A full 52 weeks of it might have killed me....

So, writing a complete story/scene/whatever in 1000-words or less is already super hard for long-winded me, but Ron wasn't done yet. Not only did I have to write flash fiction each week for the remainder of 2016, but I also had restrictions:

1. None of the stories could relate to each other. They couldn't continue off each other. I couldn't thread a bunch of 1000-word scenes into a full story. Each flash fiction had to be a one-shot.
2. I couldn't write about characters I already created. No X-Future girls, no D&D characters "behind the scenes" stories, no characters from original stories I already wrote. Each new, flash fiction had to be about completely different characters.
3. No. Fan. Fiction. None. No playing in someone else's sandbox. Not only could I not use my own characters, but I definitely can't use someone else's. Each week. New characters. Completely original.

I'd call him mean - and I think I actually did in our conversation - but I wasn't exactly kind to him either when I gave him his challenge at the beginning of the year; not that it matters, he had forgotten about it with all the chaos of Baby-Prepping.

OH! And speaking of Ron, he and ChibiSunnie just celebrated their birthdays! Happy birthday to probably my two writing besties!

Aaaaand we're back....

So anyway, my nervousness about Ron's challenge quickly turned into excitement. An adorable elder couple came into the store a few days prior, and they inspired me. I had my first story done within 24-hrs of getting my challenge.

When I was done I was actually at like 1013 words, though, so I had to grumble and cut until I was at EXACTLY 1000 words; still counts! Also, I cheated slightly. What I wrote wasn't a scene per se. There was no action. There was no dialogue. There was no true movement of character. Instead, it was a snapshot of a man dealing with his wife dying from cancer; what is known as a vignette.

A story is still told, but at the same time the elements of a "scene" are missing: the action; the growth.

"Screw 'Til Death"

On DeviantArt           On FictionPress

I read this story at writing group last week. I think I have stronger faith that the lack of critiques each week is due to my skill; not their neglect.

When I finished reading there was just this profound silence, and then this group exhale. I had comments like "Wait, you're HOW OLD again, and can write so poignantly about a couple in their late sixties?" and "I've been through this, and let me tell you, you've nailed it." Just about everyone at the table said similar: I captured the pain of losing someone you've loved your whole life; the loss of self along with your partner. Granted, after seeing my mother go through it, it wasn't a hard stretch to be empathetic towards those in that situation.

That's when Carson nervously pitched in a cautious "I don't mean to insult you, but... why do you write fanfiction when you can write like THAT!?" The room echoed his sentiment. He always seems to be able to put words to what everyone else seems to think.

I was probably blushing nearly as bad as when I read "Rensin's Conquest" to them. I had to admit to them what I've already admitted here: I know full well that I use fanfiction as a crutch to get past the "hard bits" of writing; namely creating the world and characters. Yet, I still fall back into the crutch because it was what always got me writing in the past, and writing fanfiction is better than no writing at all, right?

Still. It's SUPER encouraging to hear them all astonished at how well I wrote that tale. I don't know how they'll feel about the next one I wrote this past Friday, though. Not nearly as emotional, and in the realm of fantasy; which most of the group isn't really into.

As I stated in my weekly recap above, Jolene isn't really doing very well. The session tomorrow night might actually see her untimely demise.

While I'm of course fighting to prevent that, I also must let the character make her own decisions and let the chips fall where they may. I already have her swan song written up should it go that far.

Since Jolene may not last much longer, I've started trying to find inspiration for my next character. I flipped though about twenty or so pictures people have drawn of characters created for fantasy games. Among them was this amazing picture.

Bard Ariane by Lapis-Razuri

Isn't she adorable!? I instantly knew that she was going to be the basis of my next character. Right off the bat I figured I'd make her a gnome. She also looks playful, like she doesn't really take anything seriously. She looked spunky, like she had a lot of "moxie." So I needed to figure out a good name for that.

With some playing, I figured "why not a name that - in theory - people could shorten to 'Moxie'?" Some more playing around, and I came up with the name Elymoxa. I personally shorten it to just Mox, but I'm assuming the group would shorten it to Ellie. However, the potential for "Moxie" is there, and that's all that matters to me.

Anyway, since she's not officially a character yet, I stretched the restrictions of Ron's challenge a bit, and I used her for my second flash fiction. Consider it a way to get to know her. Time-order-wise, since I haven't opened the Players Handbook even once to start officially creating her, you could say she's an original character I liked enough to make into a D&D character to play.... That makes this past week's story count for the challenge, right?

If you want a nice intro to Mox - who will probably change while I play her, because that's how it ALWAYS happens with my characters - then you can check out my flash fiction for week 2 of the challenge:

"No Time for Playing"

On DeviantArt           On FictionPress

If you want to follow along before I post in my weekly blogs for the remainder of the year, you can watch the anthology I've pieced together for these one-shots. It's called "Ronoxym's Flash Fiction Challenge." And, yes, it does occur to me that perhaps the name is a bit confusing. I'm LycoRogue, and it says Ronoxym's, but I was tired last Friday when I set it up. Besides, Ron was the one who challenged me. It made sense at the time. I might have to go back and change it though at some point....

The trick is to figure out what to write for this week's challenge....

The other trick is to get back on track with NaNo prep while dealing with the drama of Jolene's doom, and let me tell you, she has NOT shut up since the solo session last Wednesday! It's snippets and mini-speeches, but I have a couple pages worth over the course of the past week.

I'm really liking Jolene and her relationship - strained as it is - with the clueless Rensin. Even the setting of the campaign is awesome. I just wish I understood it a bit better so that Jolene could have played around in it a bit more. Perhaps Jolene and Rensin will be revived - as it were - in another story concept down the road.

I can't keep stealing other people's roleplay characters though, like I did with Phfylburt's Lincoln or Ron's Devon. I'll have to find a way of recreating Rensin as an original character to pit up against Jolene. I did have a similar concept for Amara's love interest for her story - which I had mentally "in the works" back in like 2005/2006, but never actually written down. I don't know if I can make Rensin as adorable as his player does, though. I'll need practice over the years of polishing.

Alright, well, since I'm now down a week for my blog posts, I might work on a catch-up one for a double-post week. Most likely focused solely on my reading challenge progress since I haven't talked about that in a little while. So, keep your eyes open for that.

In the meantime, I'm off to play massive catch-up to make up for the crazy-long work week I had.