Saturday, September 30, 2023

Running On 8% Battery

Est. Read Time: 10 min

Well. Here we are again, at the end of the month. The last DAY of the month... again. Back half of the day too, no less, and with limited writing time. Normally, I'd be embarrassed or irritated with myself. This month though? I dunno. I guess I'm just too burnt out to care? Sad to say.

Generated by Bitmoji

Let's just say that, only 2 months in, 39 has proven itself to be a trying age for me. As I mentioned last month, I finished up July and started August covering for nearly back-to-back vacations my coworkers went on. My manager's daughter was also about to pop any day. Or so we thought.

Manager's Daughter (MD) and Son-In-Law (SIL) don't have much of a community or even in-person support group where they are currently living. Aside from paying for child care, they had no one to watch their toddler once MD went into labor. And since kids aren't allowed in the hospital, that meant SIL would be forced to stay home with their first kid instead of being in the delivery room with his wife. Which meant Manager had a vacation basically "on call" for when her daughter went into labor. She'd then shotgun her vacation time to take five days to watch her grandson while her daughter was in the hospital, recovering, and then bonding with the new baby.

The baby had shifted low in the womb and inverted so she was ready to be birthed way back in August. She wasn't due until mid-September. Everyone was convinced that she was going to come early.

Then August ended. And the first week of September passed. And the second week of September passed. MD was going to doctors appointments practically every four days to see if she was getting any further along. Her due date came and went. Each day my coworker and I would text our manager to see if we needed to come in on our day off so she could go watch her grandson. Each morning she told each of us that she would be working and to not worry about it. It crept closer and closer to the end of the month, and we were ALL getting a bit nervous.

MD was nervous because of all the medical complications that may arise from being over a week past due. Manager was nervous for the same reason, as were my coworker and I, obviously. But we also all had our own (semi-)selfish reasons to be nervous as well. For Manager, she was wondering if she could even take time off anymore to help watch her grandson. Coworker was nervous because she had a wedding to go to yesterday, and she wasn't sure if she'd have to cover for Manager instead. I was nervous because I was scheduled to FINALLY get my own vacation during the first week of October to celebrate my wedding anniversary (and generally just to recover from this summer!). I wasn't sure if my vacation would AGAIN be shortened or otherwise shifted to accommodate me covering for Manager (like it was that first week of December last year).

Then, this past Sunday, Manager waved the white flag. Her daughter hadn't gone into labor yet, but Manager was running out of time that she'd be able to take off without infringing on our requested times off. She decided to take her PTO Monday through Thursday. That way she could be there for her daughter's last check-up before being induced and HOPEFULLY be able to still watch her grandson while her daughter was in labor. All while still being back at work yesterday so my coworker could go to the wedding. Luckily, MD did end up going into labor pretty much first thing Tuesday morning! Manager had her grandson for a few days while her daughter was recovering, and he met his baby sister on Thursday.

Happy ending, but it was one HECK of a stressful September as NO ONE knew what was going on or if we were working; when would we be giving up our days off to help cover Manager's impromptu vacation?

On the plus side, I am FINALLY on my own 6-day vacation, starting today! Woohoo!

(Good thing too, because I was starting to go a bit feral and short tempered this month...)

Feral Stick Figure Violence meme
(that's the best description I could find at least)

Said vacation, and my need to recover since my birthday, are largely why I'm working on this post so late in the day today. I had slept in until noon! I wasn't feeling well last night, so my husband turned off the alarms and let me sleep until I woke up naturally. Guess I was more burnt out than I realized, huh???

Hubby and I spent some time together before I dropped him off at work this afternoon. Then I ran around doing some errands I wanted to get done in preparation for my time off. I then stopped by Hubby's work to have dinner with him while he was on break, limiting my writing time further. A trend that seems to have formed this past year: all of my would-be writing time ends up being interrupted or usurped by some other activity.

Again, normally that would make me cranky and my body itchy as I CRAVE to find time to write. The past few months, though? Well. There's a reason Hubby took over game nights and we switched from Scum and Villainy to D&D. My head has been so empty since May or June.

I've watched the conclusion of Miraculous Ladybug season 5, and that alone usually inspires me: watch Miraculous Ladybug. This season in particular somehow simultaneously has the series' best and worst writing in every single episode. The character arcs and growth were awesome, the actual plot and lore drops were atrocious and would routinely retroactively negate what has already happened in the series and it just....

GIF generated by Bitmoji

For most people, this kind of rage at the source material would inspire them to make "fix-it fics". Stories that allow the author to "fix" whatever it is they feel went wrong in the canon narrative by reworking the narrative themselves. I haven't necessarily written any fix-it fics myself, but I have teased for years now about wanting to do just that with my plot bunny "When Love Matters". Wherein I rewrite the whole series with just one fix: Gabriel Agreste genuinely loves Adrien and is a good father to him. Which means that I've toed with the concept of a fix-it fic a little bit in the past. And yet my frustration with the series didn't even inspire me to attempt a fix-it fic this go....

I'm that far gone and in that desperate need of a break. Here's hoping this week helps me recover enough that my Muse will return to me.

Right now, though? I'm struggling to sit upright to type this post up. I'm lounging on my porch on probably one of the last nice evenings of the year before it starts to get too cold to linger outside too long. The sun is setting. I have lo-fi music playing. I just kind of want to sit on my front porch, close my eyes, and maybe doze a little bit more to the faint sounds of my neighborhood bleeding through my headphones.

I also haven't played Animal Crossing in ages. I'm actually dangerously close to the real world time lapping where I left the game. Just a few more weeks and I'll be a year ahead of my island. There's also Spiritfarer, which I also haven't touched in a month or so. Let alone a bunch of other games I either own and haven't started (I'm looking at you, Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom) or games I've started but abandoned before finishing them (*cough*Going Under and Ori and the Blind Forest*cough*).

My To Watch and To Read lists are both so large I literally started up notebooks to list them in to keep track! I haven't touched crocheting in literal years. I have other crafting projects I have mentally sorted out, but haven't managed. My apartment is in desperate need of re-organizing, and Hubby and I have been meaning to fully re-arrange both our kitchen and dining room.

I really don't get the people who leave retirement because they're bored. I could never have enough free time to get through everything I want to do!

Point being, with my brain fried the way it is, and with so many other things - limited interactivity or otherwise mindless-task things - that I could opt to do instead, it is far too easy for me to neglect writing. I feel like I should be ashamed of that, but I'm not. I should mourn that loss, and I do, but only slightly. I do miss telling stories, but who am I telling them to anyway?

I am a writer. I know that to my core. I watch others tell their stories and I desperately want to do the same. I want my players to be just as immersed as the Oxventurers are when Johnny Chiodini runs D&D, or when Luke Westaway runs Blades in the Dark, or, most recently, when Andy Farrant ran Deadlands. (I would also love for there to be an audience outside of the players and have them invested as well, but the key is the player immersement) I want people as invested as Hubby and I were while watching Ray__C play his characters on NoPixel, or have other players itch to be as involved in the story being told as those who play with Ray__C seem to be. Even telling the "story" of building a nuclear reactor in Minecraft is something I would love to do. I want to impact people the way professional writers or showrunners have been able to do with their media. I want to take others on a journey the way that I've gone when reading fanfics or fan comics or when I've played video games.

I'll be honest - and this is probably something you've already sorted out - I don't write for myself. Not really. I know I SHOULD. And I do write what *I* want to read, and I do reread my own work fairly frequently. It just feels kind of hollow to me if that's where it ends: me writing a story I want to read, and then I read it.

I have received a few reviews where people rave about my writing, and a small handful of people who have told me that my story has stuck with them and/or they have reread it. Those reviews make me soar. They are my true lifeblood.

It feels so few and far between, though.

I guess I just... I need that COMMUNITY. I need to be seen. I need others to think of me. I need my stories to MEAN SOMETHING to people. I need that interactivity of people leaving comments or writing their own stories that I inspired or drawing fanart or... SOMETHING.

So.... my perpetual struggle for that kind of readership hasn't really helped much with regards to my writing motivation. I'm burnt out, and I don't really have any outside force encouraging me to come back to the page. It's easier for me to turn off my brain, and I seemingly have no exterior reason to fight against that easiness.

Take this blog, for instance. I don't feel guilty about lessening my updates to just once a month. I don't feel guilty about not really having much to say. I don't feel guilty about not having any writing updates. I barely feel guilty about how late this got published. If I hadn't promised myself that I'd publish an update at least once a month, I don't know if I'd even bother anymore (all the more reason why I delay until the last moment to even write these damn updates). Yes, I know there's three of you who will routinely read this blog.

Hi.

Generated by Bitmoji

And I don't mean to guilt-trip any of you to be more interactive than you are. But still, I otherwise feel like I'm just screaming into the void.

All year, I've been asking my readers to help me find a new font for my blog (I'm using Kalam again this month, btw). Aside from two comments when I first posed the question in January - my first blog update since October 2021, mind you - my blog has had NO interaction all year. I average about 50 hits (well, 30 per month, and then each post slowly adds the other 20), but not a single comment. And with bots being so rampant online these days who knows if all 50 hits are even people?

My AO3 notifications are slowing down. There's multiple days per week where not a single one of my stories gets a kudos on it, and it's even rarer to get a comment. Maybe once a month? Out of 49 stories? I know it's probably because my fandom is so active that it's hard to even find older content, and I don't post frequently enough to stay towards the top of any search, but still. The fact that I never seem to end up on recommendation threads doesn't help.

I am swallowed up in obscurity, and it's just hard. Ya know? It's hard to fight against that. Especially when so much of my mental energy is used to fight so much else.

I'm hoping this week does help. I truly do. October has a Friday 13th. Maybe I can pick myself up enough to think of a Plagg Appreciation Story. (The boy needs it after the raw treatment he got in the Miraculous: Awakening movie....) With any luck, some perseverance, a bit of mental recovery, and hopefully some outward encouragement, I could have something to talk to you fine folks about next month.

In the meantime, I'm just trying to recharge.

Generated by Bitmoji

Wish me luck.

Thursday, August 31, 2023

August Burnout (Oh, and Bats)

Est. Read Time: 14min 

Hello, and happy August, everyone! I know, it's not exactly MUCH earlier in the month than I have been publishing. HOWEVER! It is also NOT nearly midnight when I published. So... improvement! Yay!

Generated by Bitmoji

After three months in a row of using the Mali font (I did not intend to do that. I forgot to switch to this font last month), I'm back to trying out Kalam to see how I feel about it. After getting semi-used to the Mali font, how does everyone feel about this one? I kind of feel like I'm reading a comic strip, but I also don't necessarily hate that??? Does it miss the "look more mature and 'professional'" mark I've been trying to hit by switching off of the Coming Soon font??? I haven't had a comment on any of my blog posts since January, so I'm not sure how these fonts are hitting. I'd love the input.

Anyway, as for August thus far. Well....

Generated by Bitmoji

My one coworker is a biker, and hit up the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in Sturgis, South Dakota at the start of the month. She left on the 3rd and got back on the 13th. There's only three employees at the place where I work: me, the biker coworker, and our manager (there's more employees within the company, but they work at other locations). As I mentioned last month, due to the small staff, if one of us is on vacation the other two are working straight through it with no days off. It sucks, but we literally don't have the staff to handle vacations any other way without one of us working a multi-level store by ourselves for 8hrs. Plus, the company as a whole is small enough that normal labor laws - which requires at least one day off every Sunday thru Saturday work week - don't exactly apply. So, biker-coworker being gone for 11 days means Manager and I are working those days straight through. Plus, my manager had August 2nd off leading into Biker's vacation. Which means I had the joy of not only working twelve days straight - after working 8 days straight to cover Manager's vacation, and only getting 2 days of recovery before this next long stretch - but I also got to work with Biker on her last day before a long vacation. Clearly, despite promising the contrary, she was fully in Vacation ModeTM that last day: focused more on last minute prep work for her flight early the next morning.

Needless to say, by the time my next day off came around on the 14th I just needed to veg. I have been back to my normal work schedule since, which is nice. However, Manager's daughter is expecting her 2nd kid soon, and Manager wants to take at least 5 days off once she does. That way she (Manager) can go watch her toddler grandson for that first week and help around the house while Mom and Dad recover and bond with the new baby. Which means Biker and I will again have a semi-long work week to cover. Also, since it's contingent on the birth of Manager's 2nd grandchild, there isn't really MUCH forewarning as to WHEN this long stretch is going to happen. We just know it's going to be within the next 5 weeks.

Weeeeee.

Generated by Bitmoji

On top of all of that, I've also had ProjectsTM at work the past week or so.

Normally, one of the fringe benefits of my job - and one of the reasons having to work 12 days straight isn't TERRIBLE - is that there is a LOT of down time where I can more-or-less do whatever. I can sit and read. I can flip through my socials. My manager likes to play Candy Crush until her phone battery practically dies. Back when I wasn't bogged down with writer's block, I would use this downtime to write. Heck, I'm using some of it right now to work on this blog post!

While I was able to still use some of this downtime earlier this month to work on creative endeavors, which I'll touch upon later, this past week has not left me with much of any downtime at all. If I'm not helping with a customer I am working on spreadsheets or graphic design projects or double checking website accuracy or scanning and retagging the store products or.... herding a bat out of our store......

Yeah. That happened this past Saturday. Randomly, at about 11am, I saw this black blur dash past the office doors. I thought it was the shadow of a pigeon flying past the store's front door, so I didn't really think much of it until a customer alerted me of the rogue bat zipping around trying to find an exit. After the customers that I was ringing up left, I grabbed some Kevlar gardening gloves and a bucket with lid from the maintenance man (he was more inclined to try to kill it, so that's why I took over bat-escort duty). I then set to catch the bat and usher it outside. The thing was QUICK. Just zooming through the first floor at full speed as the poor panicked thing tried to find an escape. Our ceilings are pretty high up, and the bat stayed pretty close to them, so even at its lowest swoop it was still a good foot or two above me. There was just no way I was catching this thing unless it landed.

I tried calling animal control, but they aren't open on the weekends and the outgoing message didn't give a number to call for off-hours assistance. Hoping the bat had worn itself out - which it did - I looked for it again. It had found a dark room to hang from the ceiling within and catch its breath. Problem is, as soon as I noticed where the bat was - which was still WAY too high up for me to reach - I triggered the motion sensor, turning the light on in the room. This instantly startled the bat and it zipped around in a panic again. It shot right past my shoulder as it left the room to try to get away again, but it was too fast for me to even register that it was coming at me. There was no way I would have moved fast enough to have caught it with my bucket.

Thankfully, as it exited the formerly darkened room, it passed the front door. Playing doorman now, I held the door open and called out to it, hoping to catch its attention enough to direct it towards the exit. Kept a minute or two, and the bat near-missing the door about half-a-dozen times, but it finally figured it out and dashed out of the store without fuss. Well, aside from the pigeons that roost above our front door. All of them were like, "Who the heck is this jerk?" as the bat sped past all of their nests in an attempt to find a place to finally go back to sleep. But the bat was their problem now.

Hubby had started up a rewatch of the 2004 cartoon The Batman last week, so I guess it is oddly fitting that this is when I'd have a bat encounter. Funny that it's the 2nd bat encounter - where I was the one who dealt with the bat - in just over a month, however.

Side note: Jason Marsden voices the villain Firefly in The Batman. I have always pictured Marsden using a Brooklyn accent as the voice of X-Future character Devon St. James. Marsden's energy coupled with the energy of The Scout from Team Fortress 2 just makes me think of Devon every time. The fact that Firefly and Devon are both fire users - Devon can manipulate it via his powers and Firefly uses flamethrowers as weapons - coupled with Marsden voicing this incarnation just makes me picture the character as Devon every time. It's been quite amusing. Anyway! Getting back to my main blog update.....

Outside of the excitement of chasing down a bat, work has been a drudge. My brain is fried. No thoughts. Total burnout. Every time I tried to work on something creative I just got radio static. I spent a lot of my downtime either aimlessly scrolling through my socials or doing mindless tasks I've been meaning to do for a while now. Mostly with regards to picture organizing.

Back when I started up Animal Crossing: New Horizons I realized that there would be parts of this game - by design - that I wouldn't be able to replay/relive. All other games that I had played (with the exception of The Sims), I could go back, replay the games, and re-experience scenes/dialogue/action sequences/etc. ACNH? Once I've experienced it I've experienced it and then it was gone. Just like in real life (to an extent). That's when I started taking screenshots and the 30sec screen recordings the Switch allows. I was starting to compile them into folders on my computer for me to go back and reflect on how my island used to be; used to look. I could also relive conversations I had with my villagers. Just record as much of my game-island life as I could to look back on later. Some of the villager conversations took longer than 30sec for me to go through, though, and it was clunky to watch half of the convo via one video and half via another. So I started taking screenshots of the recordings and splicing those together into a sort of conversation comic strip. It's also how I've showcased some of these conversations before in this blog.

Ooof. Terrible timing there, Maddie. XD

Deciding to create these "comic strips" of various ACNH scenes that I encountered was truly when things got tedious. I still want to do it though. A lot of effort up front for a nice gift for my Future Self to enjoy later.

It did mean, though, that I couldn't just transfer the images and videos from my Switch to my computer and tuck them in their little folders. Done and done. No. I had turned this endeavor into ProjectsTM!

I did the same thing with the free self-care app I downloaded shy of 18months ago. I'm actually surprised it kept me this long to talk about it. It's called Finch: Self Care Pet.

The concept of the app is that you hatch a finch that you can name (and choose a pronoun for between he/she/they). Then you take care of your little "birb" (as the app calls them) by taking care of yourself. The more you use the app for your own self-care the more your birb grows and builds their own personality. As they age you can pick out feather colors to customize them. You can also buy dyes in the in-app shop (using in-app currency that you earn via logging in self-care). Once you have unlocked a color for your birb, you can easily switch between them via your finch's closet. No need to pay in-app currency each time you want to switch up your birb's look. You can also buy clothing and accessories for them to showcase their personalities even further. They also have their own little pet that can accompany them: your app's micro-pet. Your birb can earn a new micro-pet each month by logging in, as well as by completing certain goals you set for yourself. You can also switch through which micro-pet you want to accompany your birb.

I can't recall anymore if I came up with the name or if I went with the one randomly generated when I hatched her, but this is my birb Poki and her little cloud micro-pet Cotton:

If you're interested in joining the app,
you can use my Friend Code:
XWMEYF4KXA

Once your birb ages into adulthood (via you interacting with the app), they can start traveling to real-world destinations and learn about the culture there. Poki is currently traversing the Sonoran Desert (mostly within Arizona, USA). She's also travelled to Tokyo, Japan; Bali, Indonesia; Maui, Hawaii (USA); Paris, France; Taipei, Taiwan; and safaried through the Serengeti, Tanzania.

The key feature of the app is your birb going on daily adventures to explore the world and learn from it. It could be something as simple as the easiest way to warm up when it's cold outside, or trying out a new food, or discovering a new song or TV series. It could be something about the area they're exploring, such as how many people live in Tokyo, or what's up with the many faces carved into the Pont Neuf in Paris, or visiting the Tanah Lot Temple in Bali, etc. It could be a thought experiment, such as a preference to be able to rewind time and relive the past vs being able to see the future, or which super power would you like to have, or what element would you like to bend if you are from the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender.

You earn energy by checking in with the app and completing either exercises the app provides, or goals you have created for yourself, or just simply journaling. Once you've earned enough energy, you can send your birb out on their daily adventure. You can have them complete their adventure faster by generating more energy. You also earn Rainbow Stones (the in-app currency I mentioned earlier) alongside building up energy. After six hours (or shorter, if you've built up energy while your birb was adventuring), your finch will want to discuss their journey with you. There's two pre-scripted answers you can choose or you can opt to write up your own response. Based on what you picked, your birb will respond in kind. Obviously, it's a bit of a generic non-committal reply if you write up your own response. The app doesn't have writing generators to come up with a response based on what you wrote.

This is the part that I was referencing in conjunction to my ACNH project. The app doesn't save your birb's past adventures to relive outside of noting whether they like or dislike a particular discovery: food, desserts (not sure why it's a separate category), drinks, books, TV shows, movies, songs, games, or activities (such as bathing in an onsen or moon watching).

I find the adventure itself, what Poki has to say about it, my different response options, and her reply back to me all adorable. All things I wish to revisit. Much like ACNH, I realized that I would have to record them myself to do so. This results in me taking HUNDREDS of screenshots and then splicing them together so I can later quickly flip through and relive Poki's journeys.

Sorry for the blurry image.
It's not this bad on my computer.
Not sure what's up with that. 😅

Soooooo, yeah. As I mentioned, my brain has been fried, and so I've been using the need for mindless tasks as an excuse to finally get back to my massive backlog of ACNH and Finch images that I've wanted to splice together via GIMP. I'm still probably over a thousand images deep for both projects when it comes to backlog. But I did make some progress. So... yay.

Generated by Bitmoji

Back to that one creative endeavor I did manage this month, though. Yup. Finally circling back around to that. For whatever reason, when I woke up on Saturday, August 19th, I was fixated on my one character Artie. In the past - mostly 2016 - when I talked about Artie, I said that they were still cisfem, but disguised themselves as male for various reasons. They would even purposefully present as female if they felt it would be beneficial to the situation.

Since then, I've felt like Artie was actually the first queer character that I created. I feel like they would definitely use they/them pronouns. I still don't know enough about non-cisgender identities to truly know how Artie would define themselves, so I don't want to canonically say. In one incarnation, Artie still thought of herself as cisfem and did indeed disguise herself as male to better survive in a patriarchal society. In other incarnations? Artie is probably closer to gender neutral? Maybe gender fluid? They don't care if people think of them as male or female. They see the social benefits of both options, and mostly present as one gender or another for those benefits: males aren't questioned on their strength or intelligence, females are allowed to cry or enjoy "cute" things, males are allowed to be a little reckless and exploratory, females tend to have tighter communities to interact with, etc.

The more I thought of Artie while I got ready for work, the more I wanted to introduce them to the world. Back in 2019, I had abandoned this project before finishing my introduction of Lia, but the way Artie was poking at me, I knew I needed to revive my "Meet My OCs" series on Tumblr. During the aforementioned work downtime on the 19th, I started up the first half of my introduction to Artie. You may notice, if you go through the few blog posts here where I talked about Artie before, that I got some of the details of Artie's early versions wrong in that Tumblr post. Funny how your memory can morph facts. Whoops. I have to say, though, I think what I "remembered" for that Tumblr post feels truer-to-form for how I picture Artie now anyway. Maybe it was always what the character wanted, but I just wasn't ready to have a non-cisgender character yet, so I manipulated the facts for my own benefit.

It kept me another two days, but I did manage to get Part 2 of my Meet Artie series published before the close of the weekend. It was fun trying to recreate them on Hero Forge and Picrew.

Generated in Hero Forge
Generated using this maker
Generated using Maker 773

My main problem with Artie is that I have a character that feels interesting to me, but I have no plot for them. As mentioned in those Tumblr posts, Artie was created for a play-by-post roleplay game that fell through. Then I revived them for a one-shot horror-survival game, but we never got past character creation. An older post from this blog notes that I tried reviving Artie a third time to write a YA dystopia short story for Ronoxym's 30th. The world build alone ended up being five pages long, so I knew that wasn't going to really work out for what I wanted to do, and shelved Artie one more time... in favor of creating Colton and Zetelica instead.

I just don't have a specific setting or plot sorted out for Artie. They don't have a "world" like my X-Future/Glitches pseudo-cyberpunk characters do, or my Gyateara fantasy characters. Even Colton and Zetelica have a world: the one I built for Rono's story. Artie? Artie just kind of floats around in my head, popping up now and again to make sure I don't forget they're there. I hope to find a home for them someday. Maybe they'll join Colton and Zetelica in rounding up the spirits of the dead. Maybe I'll import them into Glitches (although, I'm not sure what their powers would be....). Maybe I can find a way of reworking the speculative fiction that originally birthed Artie into fantasy, and they can find a home on Gyateara. Maybe I'll think of a story all for them.

Who knows? It was nice getting them out into the sunlight, though. Maybe it will help me keep them a little closer to the forefront of my mind, and I'll be more inclined to figure out where to put them.

Do any of you have "story-orphaned" characters like Artie? What do you do with them? Were you able to "rehome" them eventually?

While my mind still ponders what to do with Artie, I hope that September brings a bit more mental recouping so I can get back into actual story writing. It's been a while, and clearly I missed my initial goal to have at least one chapter of Seduce With Caution published by August 2023. Bully me, peeps! Keep me on track! Have me hunker down and FOCUS on this story. I have so many WIPs piled up. It would be nice to finally take one off the pile, you know?

Anyway, until next time!

Generated by Bitmoji

Monday, July 31, 2023

The Conclusion of CB vs RUST... Oh yeah... and I wrote Stuff, Too

Est. Read Time: 34min (8min if you don't read the conclusion of the Raymond vs Lang NoPixel saga)

Hoooooo boy! I'm- I'm getting later and later with these monthly blog posts. Aren't I? Talk about under the wire, huh?

Generated by Bitmoji

First of all, this month's font is back to Mali. I'm still trying to sort out which one I like best. So, yet again, I open the floor to you fine folks. Feel free to let me know below what you think about this font vs others I've shown off this year.

As for what happened this month, the start of July was a touch busy... obviously, with Independence Day on the 4th. Then I didn't really have any writing to talk about yet, so I didn't really have much to even say. Then I DID do some writing, but because I was doing said writing I didn't have the extra time to also work on my blog. Then, the back end of July has been a bit chaotic.

I had my nephew's birthday, my birthday, and then a straight eight-day work week with the coworker that annoys me while my manager took a vacation. Today is my first day off as a 39yo. I have a second day tomorrow. Then I'm at work for another THIRTEEN days straight as my annoying coworker is on HER vacation (she hasn't even been with the company for a year yet).

Meanwhile, heaven forbid I ask for a long weekend three times a year....

If anyone says anything about MY ten-day vacation at the end of the year so I can celebrate Hubby's 40th they can fight me.

Generated by Bitmoji

Let's be a bit more positive though. As I've mentioned, I did write something this month. TWO things, actually. Sadly, I didn't note what had inspired me, so I can't relay that over, nor can I use that information to try to re-inspire me to keep going. Not the most brilliant move on my part. Whoops. But, on the 15th I was just STRUCK with a desire to write. I still couldn't really sort out chapter 4 (let alone the next chapter) of Seduce With Caution, so I decided to just jump ahead.

It was time to get into the meat-and-potatoes of the story. Why I started writing it in the first place. I jumped into Act II. Specifically, I figured it was time to get to the conflict of Act II.

Sorry, Mom. This story WAS originally a smut story, so... I wrote the foreplay and the actual smut this month.

Generated by Bitmoji

For those of you who don't wish to know how far down the adult-content rabbit hole I went (or those who want to avoid vague story spoilers), you might want to jump ahead to the All Clear Bitmoji.... For the rest of you, feel free to read on. I promise I don't get explicit. This isn't the place for it. Plus, I don't want to give away too many spoilers to my story. It IS going to talk about me writing sex scenes though... soooooooo.... yeah.

The main conflict of Act II is the fact that Marinette and Chat Noir feel comfortable enough in their relationship and committed enough to each other to lose their virginity to each other. The problem there though is that Chat Noir literally can't. His superhero costume is magical and designed to not be able to be removed. Which means he can't disrobe or even expose himself in order to have sex. Not without de-transforming. Trick there though is that Marinette would then know who Chat Noir was. Chat Noir does offer that as a solution at one point, but Marinette is adamant that he CANNOT let her know who he is. For everyone's safety.

Chat Noir is a touch relieved that the only way for the two of them to have sex is for him to de-transform. He figures that would mean that Marinette would only sleep with him if she knew who Chat Noir was; that she'd know she was having sex with her close friend Adrien. He was feeling guilty that she wouldn't know that fact about her lover.

This initial conflict was the first thing I wrote, back on the 15th. Over 3200 words! Not bad for the first narrative I've written since late May.

The incomplete chapter - I still feel like I need to set up the opening a touch more - starts off with a make-out session. The two are getting pretty into it when Chat Noir's costume blocks them from going any further. Chat Noir laments the design choices he made when initially creating the costume. Marinette comments on his inability to take it off. Chat Noir offers to just reveal who he is to her. It would solve their problems with his costume, and help ease his concerns about her not knowing who he is. They get into a lengthy conversation about it. Marinette tries to reassure Chat Noir. It doesn't fully convince him, but it comforts him enough for them to get back into making out. Things get pretty heated, and he is again blocked by his costume. In frustration, he apologizes to Marinette and then leaves to think things through.

Jump ahead a couple of days, and to the last/penultimate chapter of Act II. Marinette has found a solution to Chat Noir's inability to remove his costume problem. She's also reassured him about the whole "don't know Chat Noir's identity" issue. There was some miscommunication between the two of them for a little bit, that made them question their relationship briefly. Then we get to the chapter I wrote: the actual smut in my "smut story".

Chat Noir just revealed that he's ready for their first time, and has utilized Marinette's solution for his costume problem. He's worried that she feels pressured to reciprocate. She reassures him that she's ready as well, and they stumble their way through their first time together. They have a talk about consent and promise to tell each other what they do and don't like to make sure they are as comfortable as possible. There's some awkwardness. Some laughing. Some bashfulness. Some redirection as some things didn't feel good. Classic first time stuff.

I still have the second half of their first time to write, but where I left it feels like a good chapter break. As it stands, the chapter is over 3300 words. Do I keep going so that their first night together is the last chapter of Act II? Or do I break it up into a sort of two-part final chapter, that way I can write half from Marinette's POV and the other half from Adrien's? I'm kind of leaning towards that second option.

Generated by Bitmoji
Edited by LycoRogue

Okay. If you were one of the people who skipped over my discussion of what I wrote this month, fear not. I am done describing. The non-lewd highlights are that I wrote the majority of two different chapters, both taking place in Act II. The first one I wrote on July 15th, and it consists of over 3200 words. The second one I wrote two days later, and that one got to 3300+ words! I go from writing virtually nothing for WEEKS, and then I crank out roughly 6600 words in two days!

On top of the random internal motivation to write this month, I got a nice external boost earlier this week. Remember the local writing group I went to for three or four years prior to the pandemic hitting in 2020? I've transitioned to "mostly online friends but we still talk fairly frequently" with one of the members: Skarabrae-stone. Last Wednesday, they tagged me in a Tumblr "challenge" to list all of our WIP titles. I'm sure there's some that I missed, but here is my list of WIPs that I had posted the following day. Turns out, if I count WIPs I probably won't return to - such as the 365 Days of Writing challenge and Ronoxym's Flash Fiction challenge - I'm up to 24 WIPs! That's stories I've started at least world-building in! It's a much longer list if I include plot bunnies as well!

Generated by Bitmoji

Not only did Skarabrae tag me in the game in the first place, but they then asked me to talk more about Seduce With Caution. Naturally, I had to laugh a little because I have a full-on tag on my blog of nothing but me ranting, raving, gushing, and pulling my hair out because of this story! Gave me yet ANOTHER chance to gush about it though. Easier to do after actually working on it this month. Despite not being in the Miraculous Ladybug fandom, Skarabrae still found the concept intriguing, and offered to be a sounding board, should I need it.

Well, of COURSE I had to take them up on the offer! I sent them the master file I have, as well as those two chapters I wrote this month. We'll see what comes of that.

On the flipside, I did offer to be their sounding board for their many projects. I just need to figure out which one intrigues me enough to ask them to elaborate on.

Actually, I have quite a few people to send asks to. Part of the tag game was to tag as many people as you have WIPs. I do NOT know 24 different writers on Tumblr, but I did get about half-way there: 14 people! Already three of the people I've tagged have played along. Off of those 3 people, 5 others have played. Lots of intriguing titles!

Along those lines, I don't know if I simply tagged my answer to Skarabrae's ask just the right way to catch attention, or if some of the people who saw the tag game decided to check in to see if I was asked about any of the WIPs listed, or if I lucked out that the Miraculous Ladybug movie hit Netflix this Friday and people were craving some MariChat content, or if I just plain old lucked into catching attention this weekend. Regardless, that answer I gave to Skarabrae about SWC was liked by them and one other person whom I know follows me. Then there were six other people who liked it as well!? I've checked to see if they were bots, since they are prevalent on Tumblr. All of the blogs that liked my post seem legit though....

Generated by Bitmoji

Sooooo.... yeah! Between my own internal motivation getting me excited about this story again, and Skarabrae stoking the fire (excuse the pun???), and just... random ML fans also seemingly intrigued by my concept... Maybe I'll actually get more writing done for this story this upcoming month.

After all, August has been, historically, my "Smut Month" for whatever reason... the summer heat, maybe?

  • 2016: Work on Some Like It Flame Broiled and Rensin's Conquest
  • 2018: Rework of Some Like It Flame Broiled
  • 2019: Write and publish Sparks for the Moment (written in July, not August, but still summer!), ANOTHER rework of Some Like It Flame Broiled and rework on Rensin's Conquest
  • 2020: Start work on Seduce With Caution
  • 2021: Complete restart of Seduce With Caution

So... uh... here's hoping August works its magic again????

Along with the writing I did this month, there was also the two D&D sessions that Hubby hosted. We're all still trying to figure out our characters, but it's been fun stumbling our way through it.

My character Aubrianne has turned out to be a bit... naïve to the ways of the world. She has a good heart, but doesn't quite consider the full consequences. She just rushes in to try her best against any and all challenges; doing what she can to help people. It's caused... interesting results.

The set-up Hubby created for our characters to all meet each other is a festival. Each of the nine regions of the continent take turns hosting a festival showcasing the collective nobility: the Parade of Princes. The region all of our characters are from is the one hosting the festival this month. We have each ventured to the capital in order to attend. After the first event of the festival, Aubrianne has grown a crush on Prince Benson Foxly from the neighboring region. She knows her place as a commoner though, and won't act upon her feelings. She also doesn't want to root against her own prince during the festivities, so her rooting for Benson is in secret... while also rooting for her own prince (and the crowned prince of the realm) as boisterously as possible.

I don't have TOO much to report with regards to our gameplay quite yet. Like I said, we're still just kind of feeling out our characters. So Hubby's been fairly gentle with us the first two games. We're supposed to officially party up for our first real quest next Monday. We'll see how that goes.

With regards to my own creative endeavors, that's all I really have to report. I truly am hoping to have both more to talk about next month and the ability to post sooner than 11:30pm on the last day of the month.

Now, I was going to leave this last part out since it is MASSIVE. Plus, it kept me far too long to put together (when I could have been working on other projects). On top of that, it's not even about my own writing. However, I had already spent the past two months talking about the NoPixel conflict storyline between Raymond Romanov and Lang Buddha. I felt like I owed it to you guys to at least finish recapping the story. That way, if there are people who were interested in what was going on, I don't leave them hanging.

Also... well... the part about my own writing and creativity this month, while more than it has been for months, still only took up roughly an 8min read. Didn't felt worth publishing a blog post with "only" 2000+ words.

That being said... the "recap" of the final couple weeks of the conflict is still roughly a 25min read in and of itself! Which is why I saved it till the end. If you decide to pull the ripcord now, I do not blame you. Thank you for taking the time to read this far. I appreciate you so much. I hope to see you again next month!

Generated by Bitmoji

For everyone else: strap in. This is gonna take a hot minute....

Honestly, when the Raymond vs Lang drama on NoPixel died down my husband and I used it as a good time to cut the cord with Ray__C's streaming. We enjoy him greatly, but the man streams for 10+ hours nearly every day! That's... that's just way too much content to keep up with! And it's also way too much content to just sort of jump in mid-way, as evidenced by this unexpected 3-part segment I have had on my blog. So, with Ray, it seems to be kind of all-or-nothing. And we needed a break. Thankfully, he took a break as well. Since he would be in Paris anyway for Twitchcon Europe, he met up with a few of the people who play RUST members, and they went been backpacking through Europe. He got back on the 18th, but Hubby and I are almost afraid to check in on the storyline now....

Generated by Bitmoji
Edited by LycoRogue

All that said, I'm not entirely sure what the true end of the saga is; if it continues past the point that I'm recapping. However, it felt pretty complete. Kind of an anticlimatic conclusion, but you could tell the roleplayers were getting tired with the storyline and wanted to move on. So I'll give them a pass. The whole thing WAS improvised, after all.

Now, even an abridged version of this saga is pretty lengthy, and I already went over most of it last month. So, please feel free to reread last month's post to catch yourself up on some of the more nuanced details. For this month's recap I'm just doing couple-sentence long highlights.

  • Ray__C's character Raymond Romanov was a member of the CLeanbois; a gang created by Buddha's character Lang Buddha. Raymond also considered Lang a brother, and the CLeanbois (CB) as his family. CB lived in the in-game mansion dubbed CLean Manor.
  • Lang went on to create Cerberus, a parent company for all of his many businesses (where he tends to host criminal activities). Raymond and CB co-founder Tony jointly created the street racing team Redline. Raymond created the gang Raymond's Unfortunate Scuff Team, aka RUST.
  • RUST was given their Golden Rule: Don't mess with Raymond's 1st found family, the CLeanbois. The city knew Lang's Golden Rule: Don't cause problems on his property. Unfortunately, a few RUST members were a bit unclear as to where those lines laid.
  • Lang wanted to punish Raymond's in-game adopted son Maxine and new RUST member Kate for kidnapping a Rooster's Rest customer who had bad-mouthed their gang (the kidnapping wasn't the issue, but they did so while still on Rooster's property). Lang and his right hand man Harry threatened to hunt down Maxine and Kate.
    • Raymond blamed Lang's lack of leniency - especially considering RUST had already punished both Maxine and Kate - on Rooster's Rest CEO Penny whispering lies about the situation into Lang's ear.
  • A couple of days later, Lang requested that Raymond bring Maxine to CLean Manor for a parley. Raymond and Maxine were then ambushed by Lang, Harry, and Lang's oldest friend Speedy. Raymond was tranquilized, Maxine was kidnapped with threat of torture and execution, and a fire fight between CB and RUST ensued.
    • Reminder that on NoPixel characters don't actually stay dead after "executions" unless the player wants to permanently kill off the character. Regardless, the threat is still very much roleplayed with the appropriate gravitas as if it were a permeant death.
  • After the shootout, Lang told Raymond that they were through. Raymond wasn't a CLeanboi anymore. The Manor wasn't his home anymore. Lang no longer considered Raymond a brother any longer. Still, Raymond refused to outright betray Lang to the cops despite having more than enough dirt to get Lang locked up for life and the cops stressing this fact to him.
  • Raymond and RUST decided to retaliate against Lang by hosting a free food truck event in the public street just outside of The Rooster's Rest. Penny was forced to close down the restaurant since they didn't have customers. Lang, Harry, Speedy, and fellow CB member Denzel tried to stop the week-long food truck event. They shot at event goers, hijacked one of the trucks, and dropped helicopters onto the event.
  • RUST managed to kidnap Speedy, and got into another shoot-out with Lang, Harry, and Denzel. In a panic, Raymond tried to get Lang, Harry, and RUST member MacGregor some off-the-books medical attention. The cops kept finding them before the doctor could meet up with them, however. When the doctor was finally able to reach them, stressed out RUST member Bruno held her at gunpoint to make sure MacGregor was stabilized first. He then accused Raymond of prioritizing CB over RUST. Bruno and MacGregor then nearly left the gang, either of their own volition or by being ousted for insubordination.
  • Seeking revenge, RUST tried blowing up cars at Cerberus. Harry's adoptive son Zaceed managed to ambush them, and Cerberus CEO Nancy called the cops on RUST, causing both a shoot-out and a police chase. During which, Lang got into his armored car and started hunting down RUST members that got away from the cops. Raymond tried to tell the cops that RUST couldn't surrender because "that armored car is shooting at them!" The cops spiked Raymond's tires, ending the chase and arresting all involved RUST members; Lang, being the mayor during this whole conflict, and his associates went scot-free.
  • Raymond asked for another parley. He was instantly disrespected and threatened, and the parley ended before he could even start negotiating for a truce. Enraged, Raymond gave the go-ahead for his second-in-command Chem (short for his street-name: The Chemist) to follow through with his "Dark Knight" plan. Despite wanting to kidnap Nancy and Penny, as revenge for their parts in the war, RUST ended up grabbing Nancy and fellow Deputy Mayor Eve.
  • Cops and Lang were able to find RUST before they could execute Plan: Dark Knight. There was a long chase and then a Last Stand fire-fight on a highway overpass. The fire fight ended up taking down something like 8 members (??) of RUST along with their opposition: Nancy, Eve, Harry, Lang, and 20 out of the 22 cop characters that were logged on at the time!!!
  • Four out of the six RUST High Command (including Raymond) were jailed and put on HUT (Hold Until Trial). Their HUT lasted nearly a week.
    • Raymond spent the time interacting with his three lawyers - James Haze, Grace Daniels, and Maya Mahmoud - as well as some "Lifers" (characters with a prison life sentence, and so the players exclusively roleplay within the prison).
    • RUST was charged with Coop's Law, a very rarely used in-game rule to put away characters that prove a repeat threat to civilians. It was a way for early NoPixel to combat the Griefers that other GTAOnline servers suffered. Along with jail time, the Coop's Law charge was seeking a 5 million dollar fine from Raymond and 1 to 2.5 million dollars each for the rest of RUST.
  • Despite Tony promising Raymond that he would stay neutral in the war between CB and RUST, he planted a spy camera in the prison visitation room for Lang. He also brought back intel that RUST was about 20min from getting a bail hearing. Enraged at the prospect that Raymond might get out of jail, Harry - unmasked - ran into the visitation room and shot down RUST hang-around and prospective member Nana, RUST high command member Perez's in-game girlfriend Cassie, and two out of Raymond's three lawyers.
    • Suspecting Tony was somehow involved in the shooting, an enraged Perez threatened him. When Raymond yelled at Perez for doing so and told him to not touch Tony, Perez called Tony back up to instead threaten Redline's 2nd in command (and Tony's ex-boyfriend) Goofy, assuming it would be the equivalent of going after RUST's visitors at the prison.
    • With 2 out of his 3 lawyers recovering in the hospital and his 3rd one not "awake" (logged on), Raymond had to postpone his bail hearing. Once his lawyers could be present, Raymond and the other HUT RUST members (excluding Perez) were given a long police escort to the courthouse.
    • Perez wasn't properly put on HUT, and when the game mechanics allowed him to leave the prison early the cop characters roleplayed that it was a prison break. Perez was instantly captured, placed back in jail, and listed ineligible for bail.

Okay. So, that's just everything that happened between mid-May (the kidnapping from Rooster's Rest) and early-June (Harry shooting up the prison visitors)! Sadly, due to how crazy-busy Hubby and I were the back half of June, we weren't able to watch Ray__C as much. Which means there's a lot of daily events that I ended up missing, but we'll see how much of the back end of this saga I can recap for you fine folks.

  • Raymond, Chem, and fellow RUST high command member Kiwi were able to get bail. Bail was originally set for the $5million that Raymond was charged with along with Coop's. However, since Raymond was able to convince the judge that RUST was under possible attack and would need to protect themselves, the judge just set the bail at $4million and allowed Raymond to use the last million dollars towards hiring bodyguards. The bail conditions included Raymond not getting drunk (so his character can't consume anything listed as alcohol), not being in possession of a firearm (originally it was all weapons, but then the judge thought it would be funny if Raymond had a knife to defend himself against people trying to shoot him), staying off of all Cerberus properties (which Lang had already banned him from anyway), and not interacting with Cerberus employees directly. Raymond, Chem, and Kiwi would also be considered accessories if any RUST members broke any laws while they were on bail.
  • With nothing better to do that wouldn't break bail, most of the next day was spent at the RUST compound with Raymond's security detail and taking meetings. Two RUST members had purposefully attempted to stay neutral in the CB vs RUST war since they technically worked for Cerberus (exceptions to Raymond's bail condition since they are RUST members). While Raymond talked with them, they joked about getting him civilian jobs within Cerberus. One such job is Dodo Freight: you sign in at the warehouse and then drive a box truck around the city to various delivery points marked on your map. You drop boxes off at those delivery spots, and then go back to the warehouse to return the truck. Upon returning the truck you get paid. Aside from a pseudo-freelance job as a flight instructor, Raymond had never held a civilian job before, making nearly all of his money off criminal activity. He joked that this is the perfect time – when he's being hunted and a security detail is trying to keep him safe – to try his first Dodo run. You could instantly tell how exasperated the head of the security company (Solomon) was by this SBS* play (but you could also tell that the player was having fun with this kind of roleplay because it was more interesting than having his character just stand around the ScrapYard for hours on end). Raymond even upped the SBS ante by also taking a selfie of himself in uniform in front of the Dodo warehouse and the box truck he was driving. He than twatted** out that he's trying his first ever Dodo run and included the selfie.
    • *SBS is short for "small brain syndrome". Basically, it refers to people who can't think of (or refuse to consider) the big picture or the consequences of their actions (such as purposefully putting oneself in danger by publicly announcing one is about to do a delivery run while being actively hunted); situations that are dumb for the sake of being silly, goofy, and dumb/entertaining; or the inability to keep up with a semi-complicated conversation/plot.
    • **Twatter is the in-game version of Twitter (now rebranded as X), therefore "twat" is the in-game version of "tweet".
  • The whole day was just that sort of SBS casual, goofy role play.
    • Buddha (the player) is now the CEO of NoPixel, and used his administrative powers to have Lang pack up Raymond's stuff from the Manor and send it to the RUST compound via box truck.
    • Whenever something suspicious happened within or around the RUST compound Raymond – out of reflex – was the first to poke his head out and check on it, only to be IMMEDIATELY reprimanded by Solomon and shooed out of sight.
    • Sometimes NoPixel players try to recreate reality TV shows or "the losers die" drama 'reality shows', such as the South Korean hit Squid Game. The week after Raymond was released on bail the city was hosting a "Survivor"-like game, and Raymond wanted to try out for it. He was told by his friend Kermy that he needed an audition tape, so they went to the airport Raymond freelances at, and rented a military plane to fly in for the opening shot of his audition tape. Raymond then forgot to lower the landing gear, and ended up blowing up both the plane and Kermy's car (with Kermy inside). Solomon playfully asked if Raymond offering to teach his team how to fly earlier was a joke and noted that his team shouldn't be at fault for Raymond's injuries since they could only save him from himself for so long.
    • While Raymond was waiting for Kermy to record his audition tape for "Survivor" Raymond ran into Chatterbox, the head of the Clowns (a Joker-esque gang). Chatterbox told Raymond that they have a common enemy: Lang Buddha. He then told Raymond he had a fantastic plan. He knew that the best way to hurt Lang isn't to go after him specifically but to instead go after his loved ones, and then Chatterbox proceeded to relay the "Dark Knight Plan" over to Raymond with a straight face (clearly the player had watched some of RUST's streams and saw their "Dark Knight Plan" and decided to have his character relay it over to Raymond word-for-word and act like it was his original idea.) Raymond was like "uuuuh, I'll have to get back to you about that" since it was the failed plan that resulted in the highway fire fight and RUST getting HUT. He then talked to one of his RUST members who told him, "You know Chem got that idea from The Joker, right? And The Clowns are related to The Joker? We basically stole the idea from them..."
  • The last day before the trial, Raymond continued the SBS roleplay, starting with another Dodo run (complete with selfie and twat again). The first stop (which is randomly generated when you start the job) was the building across the street from the Rooster's Rest, funny enough! So, of course, everyone was extra on edge while Raymond was purposefully chill and a little slow with making his box drop-offs. The next stop was right next to Betta Life, the Cerberus business that Kitty (Raymond's ex and Goofy's wife) runs. The third stop was near the Yokai house, which had Ray on edge because Yokai had just declared war against Redline (Kate promised to stay neutral since she's a member of the Yokai racing team). The war between Yokai and Redline meant a lot of gun fire and cars zipping around, and neither Raymond nor his security detail could confirm if everything was related to the street race war or if any of it was aimed at Raymond. Thankfully, the last 2 stops were less eventful before Raymond finished the job at the warehouse. When he went to pull up to the warehouse the security detail warned that the parking lot was swarmed by people waiting for Raymond. Thankfully, it turned out to all be RUST and Redline members. Raymond had texted Tony earlier asking for a one-on-one meeting to talk about what happened at the prison. Redline was there to let Raymond know that Tony was "awake" and waiting for him.
  • Raymond went to the meeting, accompanied by his 6 security guards, who refused to stay outside the meeting room despite Tony's request. Raymond compromised by having his security wait in the back of the room, by the only entrance. That way they could keep him safe - as is their job - but they would be too far away from the actual meeting to listen in. The only other people in attendance were the two RUST members that worked for Cerberus, and that was because they were higher-ups in Redline and were there as mediators. There was also a side room with the door closed and marked as locked that got Raymond and the guards all on edge. The way Tony was acting during the meeting made it hilariously obvious that Lang, Harry, Denzel, and/or Speedy* were in that side room listening in. Especially since Raymond was purposefully calling Harry a lapdog and a POS, and every time Raymond badmouthed Harry Tony would speak loudly about how amazing Harry is and how Raymond should watch his mouth, only to then talk soft and normal again the next sentence (so he clearly wasn't getting mad, he was just covering). The biggest bit of drama during that meeting was Kitty - another Redline higher-up - about to go feral because Goofy was threatened by RUST and she felt disrespected by the security guards because they refused to leave the private meeting room or present her with IDs. Raymond was able to more-or-less smooth things over to the point where Tony and Redline might actually be neutral this time, but Tony was given a warning that if he is even remotely tied to Lang and company's attacks on RUST Raymond wasn't going to hold his boys back again.
    • *turns out it was indeed Lang and Speedy in the side room listening in. Lang was also texting Tony during the meeting to see if it was safe to ambush Raymond again. Thankfully, they never had a clear opening this go. Probably because of the security team.
  • Raymond then had a few more meetings at the RUST compound. During one of those meetings, the one character that Raymond was interacting with was very squirrelly: “Why do you have a security team? Is it safe to talk to you if someone is trying to kill you? Why is your meeting room lined with open windows!?”* As they were talking, Raymond glitched. The world vanished around him and the character model looked like it was flailing while falling into a void. When the character “resurfaced” he spawned in the parking lot back at the Redline compound he met Tony at. Despite not leaving on the best of terms with Redline, Raymond was just like, “Uh... can one of you drive me back to the RUST compound?” Thankfully, a RUST member was still there and brought him back to the ScrapYard. Raymond's security detail was wondering where he went and he needed to explain the situation and warn them what car he was in so they could get back into the compound. When Raymond got back to the squirrelly guy he was meeting with, the guy was like, “WHAT HAPPENED!? DID LANG GET TO YOU!?” Raymond joked that it is possible now that Lang “has these new powers he is still trying out.”**
    • *the windows are purely decorative. You can't snipe someone through windows, the game literally won't allow it, but a lot of role players still act as if it were possible since it would be IRL
    • **Ray was probably referencing Buddha's new admin privileges now that he's CEO of the server. Especially since, when someone glitches like that, they tend to respawn where their game was last stable; usually somewhere only about 10min back in their gameplay. The fact that Raymond spawned in a semi-hostile area that he was at over an hour before did bring into question if Buddha was messing with Ray__C.
  • The trial was the next day, and took over two real-time hours to roleplay through! I have to admit, it was kind of rough to watch as a Ray__C fan.
    • He had to remind his chat multiple times that his lawyers are PLAYING lawyers and are not ACTUAL lawyers. His chat was getting so toxic and overly invested as they screamed about (a) his lawyers throwing, (b) the persecution's lawyer overly objected to everything, (c) half of the evidence against RUST being game mechanics that can't be roleplayed into the narrative, and so it shouldn't be included, and (d) all of the witness testimony was a waste of time.
    • Most of the persecution's witnesses straight up lied, but since the cops had been sweeping evidence against Lang under the rug the defense lawyers had nothing to prove perjury. One such lie was linking RUST to the multiple explosions at Rooster's Rest*. When it was Raymond's turn to testify, since the character has ALWAYS been vague and noncommittal when talking to cops, he defaulted to never mentioning anyone by name and answering with "I believe" or "I was informed" which turned most of his testimony into hearsay despite him literally being there to witness the events. Finally, the DEFENSE, for some unknown reason, called Zaceed (Harry's son and main aggressor along with Harry and Speedy in all of these conflicts) as THEIR witness. The prosecutor interjected with, "I would like to remind the witness of his 5th Amendment rights..." and Zaceed was like, "Nah, I'm good" only to then respond to every question with "I can't recall". Even for the question "Is Harry Brown your father," Zaceed was so far into the bit at that point that he just broke out laughing and choked out, "I can't recall."
      • *The "explosions" were actually Lang accidentally crashing the cargobob after hijacking a food truck, and Lang et. al. dropping helicopters onto the food truck event. However, since RUST was hosting said event, both of those instances were used as evidence against RUST with regards to putting "average citizens" in danger.
    • The guy playing the judge did try to lighten up everyone's time during the trial and brought in a lot of humor to the proceeding. He also attempted to rein everything in as much as possible so as to not waste everyone's time (both the players and the viewers).
      • At one point the persecution was trying to push back against Raymond's claim that he was tranquilized at CLean Manor (something that 100% happened) because there was a game-mechanic glitch that didn't include "tranquilized" as a status affect Raymond had on him when the cops found him. This is just one example of those "that's a game mechanic and can't be used as evidence" instances. The judge walked over to Raymond, held out his gun, and asked him "were you tranquilized?!" Raymond instantly shouted, "yes," and the judge put the gun away saying, "he was tranq'd. Let's move on."
      • Due to how chaotic and jumbled the trial was (you can watch the trial via Ray's YouTube channel), the judge had to take 24hrs to deliberate. His main concern was the use of Coop's Law. While it would apply, it's kind of a shitty call to slap it on a character instead of using it as punishment for poor roleplaying.
    • In the end, the judge did agree that it was a back-and-forth between RUST and Cerberus, but that doesn't forgive RUST for their crimes. He found them guilty, and convicted them under Coop's Law. He then declared that RUST would be THE LAST people to be convicted under Coop's. The law would be erased from the penal code. Instead, a new law - one that has semi-less vague wording - would take its place. A law pushed forward by Lang as one of his final acts as mayor: Restricting Undesireable Serial Targetings Act (or the RUST act). The RUST Act was designed to enact "harsher punishments against criminals who commit targeted violence against civilians and commercial entities." [from Lang's Events: Mayoralship page]
      • Raymond was sentenced 2 years in prison and 5 years on parole. In the case of penal sentences, each "year" is a real-world day. So, 2 more full days of his character in jail, and then 5 days of his character acting under parole.
      • Much like when the RUST members were on HUT, a lot of Raymond's friends and RUST members visited him while he was in jail. Two such friends were Yuno and Mickey, CLeanboi members who are closest to Raymond and stayed neutral during the conflict. They both told Raymond to just apologize to Lang, and indirectly blamed Raymond and RUST for the conflict escalating. To be fair to them, Raymond didn't explain himself too well, and so it did sound like he and Lang were equally at fault, instead of Raymond just responding to Lang's aggression.
  • After Raymond got back out of jail, he was contacted by Lang's disowned son Yeager. Yeager and Lang had a major falling out a few months prior to the conflict with Raymond starting. Yeager did not hide the fact that he didn't care what happened to Lang. Yeager's player vigors even messaged Ray__C as his character, simply saying, "Ray, habibi" at the start of the conflict with Lang. Despite Yeager not being around to help prior to the trial, Raymond hoped Yeager reaching out meant they would ally against Lang.
    • Yeager invited Raymond and a small handful of his closest allies to his island Sanguine Isle. This is a weird part of the game map. It's technically its own map, but it's not a sub-server or anything. You could, in theory, travel from the main game map to the island if you knew where to go. The standard "wall" that kept you locked onto the Los Santos map wouldn't be there, and you could transition to the Sanguine Isle map. More often than not, though, there was a sort of "loading screen" of your characters getting onto a plane that takes off and than lands in Sanguine Isle (kind of like fast travel in other video games or traveling to a different island in Animal Crossing: New Horizons)
    • Once Raymond and his entourage arrived, Yeager invited them to his courtyard. He then handed Raymond an AK rifle, a weapon that was pseudo-banned in-game, and so there's a limited supply of them to avoid flooding the market. Another reason why Raymond was shocked that Harry got away with using one to shoot up the prison. Anyway, Yeager offered Raymond the chance to try out the gun to see how it handles before pricing out how much it would cost to fit RUST with more semi-automatics. Yeager also priced up a number of explosives, offering to just give a bunch of them to RUST to start... as long as they used them in their retaliation against Lang.
    • Excited for the new partnership, Raymond and his friends followed Yeager to his office to talk shop a bit more. Except, Yeager was actually leading Raymond et. al. to a trap room hidden in his mansion. As soon as Raymond opened the door it transported him and his friends into a water-logged room where they quickly drowned.
    • Turned out that, while Yeager was originally on RUST's side in their conflict with Lang, the fact that RUST kidnapped Eve instead of Penny was their undoing. Eve is a member of The Guild, a pseudo-gang that Yeager was once a part of before being disowned by Lang, but a group he still considers family (very much like Raymond and CB). In a sort of "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" mentality, Yeager's and Lang's joint hatred for RUST over the attempted murder of Eve brought them back together. Yeager baited Raymond, drowned him, told him to keep his hands off of Guild members, and then handed him over to Lang, who told Raymond, "I'm always ten steps ahead of you, buddy." (which caused Ray__C to break out in laughter and joy over the new plot twist)
    • Yeager had told Lang that Raymond was GSR positive after trying out the rifle, and even let Raymond keep the AK on him to further frame him. Lang used a helicopter to bring Raymond back into the city and on top of one of the taller buildings in Los Santos: the casino. Lang then gave a speech about Raymond losing everything and how the Raymond that Lang knew died a long time ago*. Lang then threw Raymond off the top of the casino. Thankfully, the EMT that found Raymond knew of the conflict with the mayor, and set up protection around him.
      • *probably referencing the story arc where Raymond was forced into anger management; coming out the more calm and calculating Raymond who runs RUST, as opposed to the "shoot first, ask questions later" enforcer he was in CB
  • Now confined to a wheelchair while his back healed, Raymond was taken to the police station to question what happened to him. Raymond being Raymond, refused to outright say that Yeager drowned him and his friends, and that Lang threw him off the casino roof. He alluded to both things - including mentioning that he drowned while on Yeager's island - but never explicitly stated that's what happened (although, to be fair, since he was still unconscious from drowning, Raymond wouldn't know Lang was the one to throw him off the casino). The cop Raymond talked to said that he believed Raymond was being set-up, and wasn't going to charge him for the guns he had on him. Which means he wasn't considered breaking parole. Hooray! 
  • Now that Raymond had some trust in this cop, he called him to let the cop know that Mickey had contacted Raymond and wanted to meet up. Considering what had just happened with Yeager, Raymond wanted to make sure the cops investigated Mickey if Raymond went missing shortly after the meet-up. Raymond then called Kitty and left her the exact location that he was meeting Mickey so at least someone would know where to start looking for him, should the need arise.
    • Most of this concern came from the fact that, despite now being friends, Raymond once "ocean dumped"* Mickey. It was the main reason he was forced into anger management in the first place. While Mickey had since forgiven Raymond, he had also asked to meet up with Raymond in the exact same spot Raymond had ocean dumped him. Raymond was fearful that Mickey was going to betray him and ocean dump him in retaliation.
      • *An "ocean dump" is a bit of what it says on the tin: one character dumps another character in the ocean. Specifically, it's after the dumpee is unconscious, usually from an execution-style headshot, but it can be from torture/beating/being shot elsewhere. The dumpee can then decide if they want to perma-kill their character. If not, then it's an unwritten rule on NoPixel that the dumpee, upon either being rescued or "washing up on the shore" and recovering from their injuries, roleplays amnesia in relation to the ocean dump. They don't remember what happened, and generally don't recall who dumped them. If an ocean dump is the result of being blooded out of a gang, the dumpee forgets key information that can be used against their former gang. The dumpee can then slowly regain their memory. Also, the amount of memory initially lost is subject to the player, but general rule of thumb is "story first".
      • Mickey truly did just want a heart-to-heart with Raymond, and used the "ocean dump" spot as a metaphor of what they were both capable of overcoming.
    • As the two were bonding and Mickey was trying to get Raymond to end the feud with Lang, a couple of cop cars pulled up on the beach. Soon they were flanked by about 5 cop cars with their lights going. Mickey was in shock as the cops thanked him for getting a hardened criminal off the streets. Raymond was arrested for breaking parole, and was escorted into one of the cop cars as he yelled "What did you do?" to Mickey. Raymond then hung his head and muttered about being betrayed yet again by family as Mickey swore that he didn't know what was going on. As the cops drove away you could see that there was at least EIGHT cop cars there just to escort Raymond to the station! Ray__C was in hysterics over the excessive police detail.
      • Turns out, Mickey was telling the truth, and the shock on his player Blau's face was priceless. Raymond's unknowingly turned himself in. When he was talking to the cops about what happened to him on Yeager's island, he had forgotten that Sanguine Isle is a sovereign state. Admitting he was there also meant that Raymond admitted to "fleeing" the city while on parole. Since Raymond WAS GSR positive as well, the higher-ups also charged him with gun possession despite the obvious plant. Not only was the possession another violation of his parole, but the illegality of the guns made the possession all the worse. The cop that Raymond had talked to believed he shouldn't be charged with anything, but when the higher-ups saw the cop's report they decided to charge Raymond. Since Raymond also let the cop - and Kitty - know where he was going and who he was meeting with, it was easy for the cops to track him down for the arrest.
  • Raymond was charged for 4200 months (or 70 real-world hours) for breaking parole. Soon after going to prison, one of the Lifers informed Raymond that there were new corrections officer cadets that he should look out for. Turns out the cadets were Speedy and Lang! Raymond tried to set up a prison riot so he could get to and stab Speedy and Lang.
    • Unfortunately, one of the people in the riot planning was an informant for Speedy. He gave the other guards the heads up about the riot and that he and Lang were the main targets.
    • Lang set Denzel and Harry up as snipers along the prison roof with express orders to shoot any RUST members on sight because they are probably trying to smuggle in weapons for the riot (which is accurate, Raymond was trying to get a RUST member to air-drop knives).
    • Misunderstanding their assignment, Denzel and Harry started firing on Raymond as he ran from the visitation building to the main prison yard. The other guards locked Raymond up inside the infirmary to protect him from the assassination attempt. Raymond ended up missing the riot... which is probably for the best because it did not go well for the prisoners.
    • Raymond refused to work with the cops again since every time he did it screwed him over. Because of this stubbornness, the cops didn't have the statement they needed to actually charge Harry and Denzel for the attack. Whoops. Worse yet, because Lang and Speedy were now corrections officers, they were privy to the cops' progress on this investigation.
    • Missing her boyfriend on her birthday and wanting to help him with the riot, Raymond's in-game girlfriend Nunu parachuted into the prison. She was then quickly tasered and captured by the officers. Enraged, Raymond tried to ambush the cops to rescue Nunu. It did not end well for him either.
  • Within a week of Raymond getting out of prison again he managed to steal Lang's armored car, the one with the mini-guns in the headlights that Lang used to shoot down RUST members. When Lang and Nancy tried to recover the car, Raymond used the miniguns to blow up Nancy's car with the two of them inside. He then parked Lang's armored car next to their bodies and blew that up too.
    • In retaliation, Lang had the casino set up a tournament he knew Raymond would want to participate in (a la Prince John setting up an archery tournament to lure Robin Hood). Lang, Tony, and Goofy then ambushed Raymond and took him to the casino roof. Lang was going to drop him off the roof again, but a cop helicopter was flying overhead. Instead, the two had a heated heart-to-heart. Lang told Raymond to give up on his revenge because he hasn't succeeded once. He again warned Raymond that he was going to lose everything. Raymond told Lang that he could not stop now. He's in too deep and he can't hold his boys back any longer. Lang, disappointed, told Raymond to walk away with his life; this was his only chance. Defeated yet again, Raymond did indeed walk away from Lang. It was officially official now. The two were dead to each other.
  • At this point, Hubby and I had visited my mom for her survivorship celebration, so we weren't able to watch what actually happened next. The NoPixel wiki is also kind of bad at updating regularly on a lot of content... but... to be fair, there is a LOT of content to be updated on the daily. So, this is all I was able to sort out.
    • RUST was starting to implode and argue daily with Raymond.
    • Tony and Redline started attacking RUST
    • Lang, Harry, and Denzel tried to attack RUST and was wiped out by Kiwi
    • Other gangs smelled blood in the water and were itching to kick RUST while they are down.
    • Raymond knew he needed out of the conflict with Lang. They were winning a few battles but massively losing the war.
    • Raymond called Lang to end the conflict. Lang was clearly over it too and simply replied, "If you want to end it then end it. Simple as that." They agreed to not mess with each other's business ventures. RUST wouldn't mess with Cerberus, and Lang wouldn't block RUST from advancing their car crushing business and other such companies the members were trying to start up.

And... that was it.

Generated by Bitmoji
Cropped by LycoRogue

Like I said, kind of anticlimactic. It is all improv roleplay though, and the conflict did go on for over a month! It was time to let the story die and move on.

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed this journey through the Raymond Romanov vs Lang Buddha conflict. It was definitely a fun storyline for me and Hubby to watch together, as well as share with you fine folks. Thanks for indulging me going off about this roleplay.

With that though, I will officially sign off. Until next month, where, hopefully, I will have more to say about my OWN stories and less to say about GTA Online roleplay.

Generated by Bitmoji