Monday, June 10, 2024

Burnout Turning Me Feral (Oh, and I Wrote Stuff!)

Est. Read Time: 32 min
This Month's Font: Merienda

It's that time of year again, folks! The weather is getting nicer. The sun is out longer. I can open the windows and spend hours just out on the porch enjoying the breeze and the sun and the warmth.

Generated by Bitmoji

And Jonathan Harker again starts his doomed journey to Transylvania.

That's right, folks! Tis Dracula Daily season!

Generated by Bitmoji

...

Although... Not even two weeks in, and I had already fallen off the wagon this year.

*sigh*

Peeps, I am so burnt out! Hence my May blog update happening mid-June... nearly two weeks late! AGAIN! (I've been trying to simply edit this post for 4 days straight now.... TT^TT)

Generated by Bitmoji

Work is equal parts painfully slow and annoyingly frustrating due to the added projects I'm given to fill the down time. I mean, sure, the projects themselves are tedious (and might be making me mildly cross-eyed), but they are also sometimes fun. I don't inherently dislike those projects plopped onto my desk (although, it does cut into my "writing while at work" time which adds to this update being late). The PEOPLE, on the other hand, that I have to work with in order to complete the projects?

I'm slowly going feral.... (Kind of equal parts appropriate for this to coincide with Dracula Daily and ironic that I stopped reading Dracula due to said feral-ness....)

Add in that, for almost TWO WEEKS, I had to deal with a mysterious, spontaneous, piercing beeping at work! We could not track down where the beep was coming from because it both sounded like it was coming from everywhere, but also that it was definitely NOT coming from whichever new location within the office that we were currently standing in.

We also couldn't predict when the beep would go off in order to strategically work our way around the office to try to track it down. Sometimes it would be every five minutes. Other times it would be nearly an hour before the next beep. For three days I literally wrote down the time the beep went off in hopes of finding some sort of pattern! Nothing! All we learned was that we were hearing the beep at least thirty times per day.

It was a single, second-long beep that was distractingly piercing (actually hurting my ears on occasion) and it was MADDENING that we couldn't figure out where it was coming from or how to shut it up! I was about ready to start gnawing on cables if it would make it stop.

Stock image from Shutterstock

Thankfully (??) we DID finally figure out where the beeping was coming from this past Tuesday, and it has since stopped! Seems a colleague that only works in our store once a week hid a device that makes that erratic beeping as a PRANK! It was tucked away in such a small place that we didn't think to look there. Besides, what could possibly be beeping from the wooden countertop our register sits on??? (yes, we checked the register itself and confirmed it wasn't that) They even feigned ignorance after the first week: "Wow! That does sound annoying. How are you guys dealing with listening to that all day?" / "Oh, [LycoRogue] is about to claw at the walls."

AND YET THEY LEFT THE SOUND MAKER FOR ANOTHER WEEK BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY!!!!!!

Feral Stick Figure Violence meme

If that's not annoying enough, the radio station we usually play at work no longer comes in on the receiver we have. So, in our search for a replacement option, we could only find one work-appropriate station that came in clear. And, lucky me, it's in a musical genre that I'm not particularly fond of.... It also seems to only keep about 20 songs in rotation, so I get to hear the same songs (with a few "new" ones sprinkled in here and there) roughly 7x each throughout my 8hr shift... rinse and repeat the next day... and the next... and the next....

Generated by Bitmoji

People are also taking their vacations now that it's nicer out, so I'm working longer stretches in this AMAZING environment between days off. When I do have a day off, I'm either taking advantage of the weather by spending most of the time just on my porch (since we rent I have no outdoor house work to worry about/do), or I'm trapping myself inside but using the newfound non-winter energy to try to catch up on house work.

OOOOR... those people on vacation were also my friends, and my non-work hours had to be scheduled to include time for me to go pet-sit. I think I pet-sat for nearly every friend/family member in the area last month! But, ya know, at least I got to hang out with some animals throughout May, right? And not ALL of them spent the whole time plotting my demise....

Generated by Bitmoji

I've also been getting the itch to house-search again. Especially after my sister got a house, the house next to me went up for sale, and younger friends of mine also started looking for their first home. Trick is, every attempt I make to advance the process has been like pulling teeth. I can't just call up or visit my bank and talk to someone - like my friends did - because they don't have someone there all the time. Instead, I had to wait for the consultant to reach out to me, and she would only do so after I filled out finance forms.... which are only available via the bank's app.... and my phone - while still perfectly functional otherwise - is "too old" and "not compatible" with the app.... Thankfully, I have a relatively new tablet that I could download the app to instead. If I didn't have that alternative, though? I'd be SOL. My road ends there until I buy a new mobile device. Time to join the 2020s, Grandma.

I was able to download the app though, so we'll put a pin in that. I go to fill out the form, and the info they needed was more than just "What's your annual income?" which was what I was expecting. Ya know, given that I'm simply trying to talk to someone to get a gauge of what our budget should reasonably be and how much of a down payment I should be aiming to save up for.

Nope. Instead, it wanted to know the cost of the house we were looking at - we didn't have one because we don't know what to budget??? - how much we were going to put down for a down payment - again... I don't know... that's what I wanted to talk to the banker about???? - and the mortgage length we were looking for - again... WE. DON'T. KNOW!

I was also advised to try Credit Karma or Rocket Mortgage. CK simply told me that our finances meant there were no available offers.... That's reassuring.... And I've been getting daily calls from Rocket Mortgage for nearly a week, despite me specifically selecting TALK ONLINE for my option. The consultant keeps calling while I'm at work and can't answer. WHICH IS WHY I SAID TO TALK ONLINE AND *NOT* CALL!!!

Thankfully, my out-of-state cousin works in banking, so he was able to give me some broad-stroke answers instead. Hubby and I now have a plan of attack, which is all that we wanted! But... like... OUR FRIENDS WERE ABLE TO JUST CALL THEIR BANK AND GOT PRE-APPROVED FOR A MORTGAGE RIGHT THEN AND THERE! Why was this so much more complicated for me when all I wanted was answers and a savings plan!?!

Don't even get me started on that whole "your phone is too old and we're forcing it to become obsolete" thing! That BS has affected at least 5 different apps that Hubby and/or I have needed/wanted to use in the past couple of years. Some apps are just games like Pokemon Go. Others are self-care apps like Plant Nanny, which I had used to track my hydration levels. But Hubby and I are also supposed to access our PAYCHECKS via apps! Apps that our phones "aren't compatible with"... Luckily, we can both use our work computers to also look up our paycheck, BUT STILL!!!!! WHAT THE HECK!!!!!????!

Generated by Bitmoji

I bought tickets for a Broadway musical to celebrate my 40th birthday. I don't get physical copies of the tickets. I don't even get an email like I did with my Ticketmaster tickets to a concert two years ago. Nope. The show is having me download an app for the tickets.... an app I'm sure my phone won't be compatible for.... So I may be strong-armed into buying a new phone after all just so I can get the tickets to see the show!

Generated by Bitmoji

All of that financial stability that I've been grateful for the past couple of years? Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhhh.... the funds, they are depleting. And quickly. Every time I turn around I have to spend money on this, that, and the other thing. So, good luck creating a large enough savings to provide a house down payment, pay for an inspection, and cover closing costs....

Maybe Hubby and I can actually own a home by the time I celebrate my 50th.....

Generated by Bitmoji

All of THAT said, I guess it's a bit understandable that I'm both burnt out and not prioritizing Dracula Daily this year. Such a shame, I keep wanting to do it properly from start to finish! That's it. I'm adding "don't fall behind during Dracula Daily" to my bucket list!

I was hoping to be able to force a mental reset once we got to June. At least, with regards to Dracula Daily (hasn't happened yet, but AAAAAAANY day now....). That way it would only be two weeks that I've stumbled with this goal. Although... I've got a LOT going on at the end of June for my sister's wedding, so who the heck knows if I'll miss a couple of days then and fall off the wagon AGAIN?

No! I'm determined! I'll get back on the horse and stay on until the finish line in November!

Generated by Bitmoji

I'll keep you updated on how I'm doing for the rest of the novel run-time. Don't forget that you can also poke me in the comments section here to make sure I'm staying on track!

On the plus side - yes, this update isn't ALL doom and gloom - I HAVE hit my reading goal for May, even if it wasn't via Dracula. Seems I've been going hard with those digital comics again.

I am still chugging along with Double the Trouble, Twice as Nice over on Comikey. I read my daily chapter and then watch an ad to read a second one per day. So, that alone is nearly the 15min per day I'm aiming for.

Then it's over to Webtoon for... well... a bunch!

Float concluded for free-readers the first week of May, so there goes my Sunday night reading. Prior to that, though? You guys know how much I enjoyed that story. It even got me back into reading novels, even if briefly. The artwork was lovely, and I'm going to miss those plucky characters. Thank you, yet again, Float webtoon, for introducing me to the book.

I also finished reading Leveling Up My Husband to the Max. Such a good story. The ending was... interesting. Not disappointing, but also.... not expected???? A touch Deus ex Machina, but I didn't hate it??? It kinda-sorta felt earned? Either way, it was a fun read, and I'll miss it as well.

As for the rest of the on-going comics that I'm reading...

Not Your Typical Reincarnation Story updates on Mondays. As does My Husband Changes Every Night. So, I'm set on my Monday reading between those two and Double the Trouble.

Tuesdays, I have three comics to read along with Double the Trouble. I usually start off with Rental Hero to knock out the action comic. Then I'll read I Will Live the Life of a Villainess since the romance is more subtle in that one (although, it has been picking up lately). I'll finish with The Dragon King's Bride, which is the most romance-focused out of the three. So, basically, I'm spoiled for choice on my evenings off (post-9pm). And that doesn't even include yet ANOTHER comic that I've followed but haven't started yet: Office Romance From Hell.

The premise of that last one?

Dumped by her boyfriend and fired from her job, Jineon, her family's breadwinner, has no time to cry over the spilled milk. She must find another job and fast. Enter The Hell, a mysterious company with great pay, excellent work-life balance, and an easy commute! What more could she ask for? Or so she thought. Little did she know, she had walked into hell—literally. How will she navigate the harrowing journey in the hellscape of her new job with King Yeomra, her stunning new boss, further complicating everything? Could love blossom in this pit of hell?

I dunno. I'm just curious as to what the hecken is going on. But that's for Future Me to sort out. I already have enough on my Tuesday evening plate....

That said.... last month I was talking with MostLovedGirl (more on that later). As we were chatting about isekais and Webtoon reading lists, she suggested YET ANOTHER romcom to me: Retired Demon King. It's currently on hiatus, so now's the perfect time to catch up. But, as I mentioned, I'm overbooked with stories on Tuesdays, so I just haven't started it up yet. MLG adores it and finds it hilarious, though, so it is higher priority on my "To Read" list. Also, the premise DOES seem fun. I'm excited to get around to sitting down with it.

When the Demon King feels challenged by the hero to find love, he infiltrates the school for human adventurers where romance thrives the most, only to find that the school is under the holy church... which main purpose is to kill the Demon King.

Getting back to the stories I DO read, though, my Wednesday reading list only has Mythic Item Obtained. However, I still haven't gotten back into that one. I SHOULD though, since it's one of my lightest reading days. Or, maybe I don't read Office Romance From Hell the day it updates and save it for Wednesdays instead??? Or use Wednesdays for Retired Demon King? Or both? All three?

Thursdays I have nothing on Webtoon yet... but now that I KNOW that... looks like it's time to find ANOTHER villainess isekai and/or Generic Romance story that uploads on Thursdays!

Generated by Bitmoji
Cropped by LycoRogue

Or I could use Thursdays for that "To Read" list that's piling up....

Friday nights is only The Fateful Invitation. Another light day for reading. Another contender for catching up on those surplus stories like Demon King.

Saturday I have two new reads: The Duke's Teddy Bear, and I've finally started up Lore Olympus. Actually, I've waited so long to start up Lore Olympus that it concluded before the end of May! So, now I can just sort of plow through it. That said, there's nearly 300 episodes to go through! So, I'm sure I'll be reading that for a while. I can also now just read it whenever? So... daily, if I wish.

For a refresher on the series, here's the summary of Lore Olympus via Webtoon:

Witness what the gods do…after dark. The friendships and the lies, the gossip and the wild parties, and of course, forbidden love. Because it turns out, the gods aren’t so different from us after all, especially when it comes to their problems. Stylish and immersive, this is one of mythology’s greatest stories -- The Taking of Persephone -- as it’s never been told before.

It was a slow start for me. The modernization is neat, but, twenty episodes in, I felt like not much had really happened. Especially compared to the 20-some episodes of Punderworld that are live. I also didn't find myself itching to go back and read more at first. I mean, I found the Eros-and-Psyche b-plot more engaging than what was going on with Persephone.

That is... until I got to THAT episode (IYKYK). There was a hard-hitting episode, and THAT brought me in. I needed to see how the trauma was going to be handled and resolved. On top of that, I was developing a lot of eye fatigue while doing my data-entry project at work. When the fatigue got too much, I would take breaks by bringing up Webtoon on my phone and reading through a couple of episodes of Lore Olympus (along with walking around and stretching a bit) since Lore Olympus had more content that I could just tear through. I was able to semi-binge about 40 more episodes over the weekend that way!

In other words, I'm starting to get the hype. Hermes is a glorious himbo king. Eros had a problematic intro, but has since become a fabulous sass king that I adore. As for Hades and Persephone? There must be something in the myths that I missed when I read them as a kid. I just find it amusing that both Rachel Smythe, the creator of Lore Olympus, and Linda Sejic, the creator of Punderworld, came to the same conclusions. Hades is a lovesick precious bean; a socially awkward man beyond smitten the second he first sees Persephone. A complete nerd. Then, you have the poor naive and sheltered cinnamon roll that is Persephone. Granted, the Lore Olympus version is vastly more unsure, naive, and trying to figure herself out. Punderworld's version of Persephone is more self-assured of who she is, or, at least, who she wants to be. Both are still fiercely powerful women who can hold their own when pushed hard enough.

Completely contrasting their agreed views of Hades and Persephone, Smythe and Sejic went completely polar opposite with their depictions of Apollo. Lore Olympus went with the pinnacle of toxic masculinity and manipulation. He's almost exclusively referred to as "Asspollo" in the comments. Over on Punderworld, on the other hand? HE is the glorious himbo king. He basically plays the "guy best friend" role for Persephone that Eros/Hermes tag-team in Lore Olympus.

On top of the characterizations though, I do find the art style of Lore Olympus unique. Just... not as breathtakingly gorgeous as everyone else seemed to believe. That was one of the reasons (besides it being a Hades/Persephone story) that it pinged my radar: because everyone raved about the art style. At least, for the first season. It is stunning. That's the point. Smythe commented on how she purposefully created dramatic angles first and then worried about anatomy later. It shows, but it's also... a bit... MUCH for my tastes. I get why others found it breathtaking though. It's just not for me. Especially with the dramatic coloring that sometimes makes it hard to catch what is going on in the scene. And the fact that the character models seem to shift depending on what Smythe needs for her dramatic poses. Hades' nose becomes longer and more pointed in some scenes and short and rounded and more human-like in others. Persephone's face goes from round with baby-cheeks to more slender - as does her whole body - depending on the dramatic pose she needs to be in. The way hair is drawn shifts. Everything shifts. It's hard to tell which god is which on silhouette alone sometimes. You have to rely on coloration. But even that can be deceiving since Smythe makes sure to also have hereditary coloring. Such as Artemis and Apollo - since they're twins - being the same shade of purple... but also having that shade perfectly match their father Zeus. It's a neat way to show family ties, but also... Aphrodite is ALSO purple... but a slightly lighter shade???? And Apollo and Eros have similar silhouettes, but Eros is more of a dulled magenta compared to Apollo's purple... but based on the lighting Apollo could look like a lighter shade of purple and Eros could look like a darker shade....

On the flip side, I just find Linda Sejic's retelling of the myth of Persephone's kidnapping a lot more compelling. You have the mystery of the unknown deaths and Persephone commenting on how the earth doesn't feel "right" anymore. Which leads into Persephone's "kidnapping" and Hades trying to escort her out of the underworld. But then it cuts back to that "something with the dead just doesn't feel right" B-plot to keep the action moving and the mystery top-of-mind. Also, while the actual interactions between Hades and Persephone are adorable in Lore Olympus, there's just something... MORE with the Punderworld version for me. I don't know if it's because Punderworld is more comedic whereas Lore Olympus is more dramatic, and that's why I like Punderworld more? But the plot just feels like it is fuller and moves faster for Punderworld. More seems to have happened in Sejic's nearly-30 episodes than Smythe told in the 70 that I've read so far.

Beyond the plot, there is NO problem with recognizing a character off silhouette alone with Punderworld. While I praise Smythe for having The Big Three - Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades - look similar due to being siblings, I feel it just added to my "they have same-face" issue. Sejic, on the other hand, recognized that, while the gods may be considered siblings in the myths, they are also essentially shape-shifters who decide what their physical form will look like. So everyone looks distinct. Their outfits also signal who the character is. For instance, Hera's outfit is designed to look like a peacock, her favored animal. Demeter's dress resembles a watermelon. Zeus has a single-shoulder toga, which stresses his sexual nature by him showing off more skin than the other characters, and its blues and yellows encapsulate the essence of a lightning-filled sky. Hades' look is dominated by blacks and grays, and is much more somber/formal looking. Persephone wears a youthful, flowy, petal-like, knee-length sundress in spring-time greens.

Hades is pale and lanky with long, bone-straight hair. Persephone is petite, a little curvy, and has wavy hair that falls mid-back. Zeus has shoulder-length wavy hair and goatee. He's also muscular and tan. Demeter is also a bit curvier than, say, Artemis or Hera. Her long hair is kept in a braided bun. Artemis has that classic 90s Popular Girl look with luscious long hair typically kept in a high ponytail. She also has the classic "cheerleader" body: lean, muscular, but barely any hips, butt, or chest to speak of. Charon is a muscular black woman with short hair who crossdresses as a man for the spirits. Thanatos is also black-coded (being Charon's brother) even though his complexion is more gray-tones, and he has wings and keeps his medium-length hair in braids.

If those aren't enough distinguishing features, each god also has their own "crown" that reacts to their emotions. Hades has a bone-spike crown that grows and becomes more intimidating when he's mad, or shrinks and dulls if he's more sheepish or playful. Zeus has a crown of lightning that shifts as he gets cheeky ideas or wants to be aggressive. Demeter grows barley when she's pleased or fiery-red chili peppers if she's angered. Persephone grows thorns when threatened or angry, flowers when happy, pollenating blossoms when aroused or romantically flustered, and the plants wither when she draws into herself. (I will say, I like that Lore Olympus's Persephone also manifests a flower crown when happy and her hair grows uncontrollably when she's stressed. Similar vibes again). I dunno, I just prefer Sejic's character designs.

All-in-all, I am enjoying Lore Olympus. I mean, I'm 70 episodes in and itching to get back into it now that the drama is finally building. I just... I still feel like Punderworld is better, but it only gets a fraction-of-a-fraction of the love Lore Olympus has received. Tis a shame. Truly.

(And, yes, I do understand the irony of me preferring Punderworld, which gets less love, and thinking that it's simply an underrated gem... meanwhile, I will see the hit/view count on my fanfics vs popular fics and I'll wonder if it's because I'm just not as good of a writer as I think/was informed. The double standard I put on myself is not lost on me....)

As for The Duke's Teddy Bear? Well.... it's about as unhinged as My Husband Changes Every Night was when I first started reading it. Here's the Webtoon summary:

What if your soul could leave your body and possess people -- or even animals? Thanks to an incident in the past, that’s what happens to Marshall Lidiance every time she passes out or falls asleep. No one knows her little secret, but things become problematic for Marshall when she gets absorbed into a teddy bear owned by the icy-cold Duke Ludvillian! Will Marshall be able to figure out what caused the soul absorption while still keeping it a secret from everyone?

Hooboy! These names! I'm assuming the female lead's name is pronounced "mahr-SHALL" as opposed to "MAHR-shuhl" like I originally thought. But also.... Duke LudVILLIAN? Really? So close to "villain"? I looked up the surname to see if I was mocking someone's actual family name. Now, it could just be because search engines are now trash (because the internet as a whole uses S.E.O.), but searching for the surname Ludvillian only brought up links to or about The Duke's Teddy Bear. So.... I'm assuming it was made up for the story????

Also... the female lead Marshall just.... possesses the Duke's teddy bear against her will.... She goes to sleep and wakes up in the bear's body. She can move and talk, but she also kind of has to pull a Toy Story and try to avoid others discovering that this teddy bear is possessed. Especially when the duke himself tried to exorcise her from the teddy after she attempted talking to him. When the exorcism didn't work, he dropped her out of a fourth-story window to try to rid himself of the "cursed" plushie. Luckily, being a teddy bear at the time, she wasn't hurt.

There's now these weird romance shenanigans going on around Marshall. She is an introvert. She's also the second - and illegitimate - daughter of a noble. She doesn't see herself having any value in being married off, and her little introverted self isn't really interested in interacting with anyone in order to start up a romantic relationship. Meanwhile, while at a festival in the nation's capital to celebrate a long-standing war finally ending (which is when she possesses the duke's teddy), there are already three different gentlemen flirting with our fair lead.

She is not having it and tries to pawn the men off on her older half-sister instead. In turn, said sister is tickled that Marshall potentially has marriage prospects, so she keeps trying to convince Marshall to give the poor guys the time of day.

Instead of dealing with all of that, Marshall goes to bed, only to wake up as the teddy bear again. She then gets to witness the relationship drama the poor Duke is caught up in as he's forced to play nice with someone he was at war with for YEARS while their nations celebrate their peace treaty.

As I said, it's kind of an unhinged story, but I AM intrigued to see how the story will play out.

It's kind of the same reason why I still read The Fateful Invitation: to see more of Emperor Ebenezer's attempts to woo protagonist Hillaria. I'm still not a fan of Hillaria herself, but seeing her getting flustered by Ebenezer is fantastic! For those who know the anime/manga Death Note, Ebenezer is L to Hillaria's Light.... but with romance instead of a mass homicide case.... Anyway, the art style for Invitation is also GORGEOUS. Especially the details in Hillaria's dresses and fingernails! Another reason to read more.

Going back to The Duke's Teddy Bear, though. It is one of two stories that I'm reading that actually uses Daily Passes. These work like the keys on Comikey. I can use a free pass daily to read an episode that stays unlocked for 14 days. So, even though it updates Saturdays, since I'm a decent number of episodes behind, I CAN opt to read a new episode daily via the pass. The pass prevents me from binging the story in one sitting (without spending money, at least), but it does kind of incentivize me to read the story daily in order to catch up. So, I can fill those lower-volume days, such as Thursday or Sunday, with more of The Duke's Teddy Bear until I've caught up. One way to make sure I still get my 15min/day in.

The last fic on my list that updates on Saturdays is Obsidian Bride. I don't know why, but this is another story that I keep holding off on starting. Maybe it's the number of stories I have for Saturday already (or in general... it IS a lot to juggle)? I'll have to see if mentally shifting my To Read date to, say, Sundays instead of Saturdays will help me finally snuggle in to read it.

Finally, unrelated to all of the weekly updates, I have another completed story that I've started reading: Answer Me, My Prince. Much like Leveling My Husband Up to the Max, the story was completed before I even found it. Unlike Leveling, I can't just binge the story despite its completion. This is the second story I'm reading that uses Daily Pass to pay the creator. So, again, I can only read one new episode daily without paying the app. Before I get further into it though, how about a refresher of the premise:

Cordelia Grey, an editor at a publishing company, is given a manuscript of the sequel to The Princess and the Knight along with a vintage chest. But when she wakes up the next morning, the manuscript she placed in the chest is gone -- a letter is in its place. It’s from none other than Prince Archie Albert, the handsome playboy and protagonist from the novel. What begins as curiosity morphs into a deep friendship, but can they stop themselves from developing feelings for one another, and will they ever get to meet in person?

The correspondence between Cordelia and Archie is absolutely adorable. They are both so playful but also vulnerable. They quickly fall into a pattern of giving both themselves and each other nicknames as they come up with fun ways to open and close their letters.

It feels a little like You've Got Mail with how the leads communicate in their letters. It also feels a little like The Lake House with regards to the magic behind how Cordelia and Archie can become pen-pals in the first place. Actually, the mystery of how the letters teleport to each recipient, as well as the time differential between Cordelia and Archie, has had me thinking so much about The Lake House recently that I kind of want to have a rewatch of the movie. I mean, Hubby, Aurora Morgen, and I have wanted to do a Keanu Reeves marathon anyway. Might as well add this one to the Watch List, right?

The main mystery of Answer Me is, of course, that of the book chest and how it "delivers" the letters to each of the leads (along with other things; the two frequently send books back and forth to each other like the nerds they are). The other main mystery though? What happened between the events of the in-universe book The Princess and the Knight and the sequel manuscript that Cordelia is supposed to be editing.

The main plot of The Princess and the Knight tells the tale of a heartbroken princess and her knight, who had fallen in love with her. The princess was given advice to have the knight do something hard but trivial to prove that he truly loved her. She tasked him to simply stand outside her window for 100 days (presumably the man could eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom, but otherwise spend his waking hours doing nothing but standing outside her window... but also, it was a fairytale, so... maybe not???). On the 100th day, when the princess would finally accept the knight's declaration of love, he gave up on his task and wordlessly walked into the sunset, never to be seen again. The distraught princess, realizing her love for the knight, chases after him, and the story ends. A sort of The Lady, or the Tiger? style of ending, as Cordelia tells it. Why did the knight give up just before completing his task? Does the princess find the knight and live happily ever after? Does she never find him? Does he reject her outright (hence him giving up on her challenge)? Does she return home and marry another? The reader never knows.... at least, until the sequel that Cordelia is editing.

In the sequel, it is revealed that the princess's fate is also unknown to her father, and he instead appoints his niece as his successor. It is the niece's son - Prince Archie - who eventually discovers that the princess did indeed find the knight, and that they lived together in secret within a small cottage in the woods. There, they had a son; the true heir to the throne. In the manuscript, Archie discovers the princess's and knight's gravestones, but their son is nowhere to be found. Archie's older sister, who is the crown princess and the villainess of the story, stops at nothing to hunt down this threat to her inheriting the crown.

When Cordelia discovers that the prince is real, she helps him in his attempts to placate his sister, find the lost prince, and negotiate a peaceful solution that also solidifies his sister's claim to the throne.

We, the reader, know that the runaway princess and her child are both redheads. We also know, via Archie's correction of events - for instance, his mother was the runaway princess's best friend, not cousin - that the manuscript isn't a perfect one-to-one of the facts of Archie's life and world. Add in that Cordelia's also a redhead, as is her mother - who also implied that she (the mother) was reverse-isekai'd - and a LOT of readers are speculating that the "lost prince" is actually a lost princess... and that said princess is Cordelia.

The story isn't terribly action-packed or overtly romantic, but it IS intriguing. So I'm enjoying myself with my daily reads as I make my way through the story.

Generated by Bitmoji

The various webcomics aren't even everything that I read in May! There's also fanfiction.

Yeah! I got back into reading fanfiction. Sorta...

Earlier I had mentioned chatting with MLG. Well, that's because she came out of her own writing hiatus in order to participate in MariChat May. Basically, a month dedicated to the Marinette and Chat Noir corner of the Love Square. She wrote exclusively ficlets that ranged from 500 to 1700 words. Still, the fact that she wrote FIVE new pieces of fiction in quick succession after a writing hiatus is impressive. Doing so within the same week!?! Incredibly inspiring.

If you want to check out MLG's MariChat May fics:

  • Bread and Honey
    After the death of his cousin and his cousin’s wife, Adrien finds himself the father of two small children. Not wanting to force sudden parenthood on his girlfriend, Adrien breaks up with Marinette and moves to London for the twins. Marinette, stubborn to the last, won't let Adrien give up on their relationship that easily. When she can't convince Adrien that she'll stick with him through thick and thin, Marinette forces her way into Adrien's life in the way he needs most at the moment—as the twins' nanny. Not that she's making life easy for him. Whatever happened to the sweet girl he'd known in their teen years?
    TL;DR Marinette is temptation, and Adrien is losing his sanity.

    *LycoRogue's Note: This is a flash fic less than 500 words long
  • Midnight Snack
    Chat Noir finds his good friend Marinette crying on her balcony. She’s sorry, but she’s so hungry.

    *LycoRogue's Note: A bit of a supernatural twist to the superhero canon.
  • Dendro Problems
    They're like champagne problems, but Alhaitham flavored.

    *LycoRogue's Note: References a Genshin Impact character
  • Ice Cream (and Revenge) Are Best Served Cold
    Chat Noir drops by Marinette’s place for ice cream and cuddles after a rough evening. Marinette does not take it well.

    *LycoRogue's Note: Spy x Family inspired
  • Ha! You Think That’s Embarrassing?
    Marinette is on a bad date. Adrien notices and sends his very good friend Chat Noir to the rescue.

    *LycoRogue's Note: What if Adrien and Marinette didn't meet as their civilian selves until they were adults?

That last one, in particular, really struck a chord with me for some reason. I don't know if it's because it was the longest out of the five. Or if it was because it was closest to canon while also.... not? Adult Adrien and Marinette were reverted back to their awkward season 1 personalities, which was fun since I do miss those characterizations a bit. There was also more playfulness in that last story compared to the previous four. Finally, while the story was told from Marinette's perspective, it very much felt like Adrien's story.

I couldn't help myself. I gushed in the comments section about how I saw Adrien's side of the story. MLG responded in kind. And I was done for. I knew I couldn't let it go unless I went ahead and wrote out this story.

My dudes.... I NEARLY QUINTUPLED MLG'S STORY!!!! How do these stories keep running away from me like this!?

I just had too much fun messing with poor Adrien. I finished writing my companion piece five days after MLG had published her story (I think it was only two days of writing, though...). It... then kept me another four days to figure out what to title the darn thing....

Generated by Bitmoji
Cropped by LycoRogue

Much like with You Pretended Not to Care, I was probably way overthinking my story title options. In the end, I decided to just title the story off of the song I was listening to on repeat while I was writing it: I Think I Like You by The Band CAMINO.

I Think I Like You (Maybe More Than I Should)

Summary: Adrien is intrigued by one of the junior designers at his father's company. Maybe more intrigued than a few passing interactions with Marinette would warrant. At least, that's what Plagg jokes when Adrien notices Marinette on an abysmal date and decides to intervene... as Chat Noir.
  • Rating: General Audience
  • Word Count: 7,974
  • Est. Reading Time: 40min
  • Status: Completed one-shot
• On ArchiveOfOurOwn               • On FanFiction
• On DeviantArt               • On Tumblr

This story got so much love, and it is still rolling in. Thank you, to all of my readers. I'm glad my thieving of MLG's story was so well received. My building off of her hard work tends to net me a lot of love, if I'm honest.

Generated by Bitmoji
Edited by LycoRogue

24 Hour Stats

AO3: 267 hits, 31 kudos, 3 bookmarks, and 4 comments
FFN: 88 views, 3 faves, 4 follows, but no reviews
DA: 72 views, but no other engagement

Total Results: 427 views, 34 kudos/faves, 7 bookmarks/follows, and 4 reviews

Tumblr Notes: 8 total; 3 likes off my post, another 2 likes off Ladynoir AO3 Feed's post, 2 reblogs off my post, and another reblog off LN AO3's post

AO3 Comments:
  1. AAAAA so so so so cute ♡ I kinda want more of this kind of AUs
  2. *MLG's Review: See Below*
  3. Oooh, I love that this story is from Adrien’s perspective, usually I see this kind of thing from Marinette’s. Adrien’s so smitten with Marinette and neither of them seem to realize it - at first, anyway XD
  4. They are so adorable. I think Adrien thinking Marinette’s awkwardness as cute is one of my favorite things. 💚💚💚

MLG had so many emojis in her comment! I loved the love! I truly did. I'm glad she enjoyed my take on her story.

MostLovedGirl: So many moments had me grinning and laughing. 😂 Loved it! These two are such dorks and are so gone for each other. I especially appreciated the emphasis Adrien gave to wanting to get to know Marinette better instead of the cliche “love at first sight” trope. Much healthier (despite all the low-key stalking 🤣). Poor boi is so infatuated and so screwed. 😂 At least Marinette is equally awkward and out of her depth. They are well matched. Marinette is going to be *pissed* as Ladybug (due to embarrassment) when the identity reveal happens. “I was in love with *you* all this time?!” “Wait. You love me?” And then they get married a year later. The end. 😆

Due to the aforementioned burnout and delay in publishing this update - despite working on it daily since May 30th - I completely blanked on taking my Week 1 stats. Which means we get to just jump ahead to the current stats of the story. I'm surprised at how much it grew in the 20-some days it's been live.

Current (at time of publishing) Stats

AO3: 611 hits, 66 kudos, 7 bookmarks, and 8 comments
FFN: 178 views, 8 faves, 5 follows, and 3 reviews (first one came in just past the 24hr mark)
DA: 258 views, but still no other engagement

Total Results: 1047 views, 74 kudos/faves, 12 bookmarks/follows, and 11 reviews

Tumblr Notes: 10 total; 5 likes off my post, plus the previous 2 likes off Ladynoir AO3 Feed's post, 2 reblogs off my post, and another reblog off LN AO3's post

New AO3 Comments:
  1. This is sooo cute! I need more of this story!
  2. *Another lengthy review: See Below*
  3. THIS IS SO GOOD / Amazing writing <3 <3 <3
  4. *Third semi-lengthy review: See Below*
FFN Reviews:
  1. Bet you ten bucks that as soon as he hears about the date, Gabriel will send an akuma to interrupt it. / He's a jerk like that.
  2. oh my goodness. this was so cute!
  3. Hah! That ending with [Redacted Due To Spoilers]! LOL! / I really loved it, no surprise. I always enjoy your work. I read the work that inspired this one first, too. It was fun to get both perspectives! Thanks for sharing, it was so nice to see a new story from you!

Lots of love to those comments. I know I'm pulling out the longer ones, but that's because they are too lengthy to include in a bulleted list without it becoming overwhelming. Please know that if you simply leave me a single emoji as a comment on my stories I will still love and cherish the fact that you felt compelled to interact with my writing.

Thank you. I love you.

Generated by Bitmoji

As for those pulled reviews though....

Lengthy Review #1:
Oooh soooo sweeeet!!!!
I love the fact that Adrien just start adoring Mari from the first sight. And her just randomly
[Redacted Due To Spoilers] 😂😂😂 They are just mix of sweetness and chaos xdd

I got so scared for Mari there!! I was scared that date with the dude was him making her go on the date or he kick her out or something. I was just really scared that he had some power over her. But then it turns out it was
[Redacted Due To Spoilers] 😭😂😂😂

Adrien/chat constantly thinking that Mari is cute? I live for it😂😂💖💖

Also love the end!!! I love our sunshine boy being just too excited to [Redacted Due To Spoilers]!!!

Great work!!!!!💖💖
Lengthy Review #2:
        Well, given that canon is largely from Marinette's POV, combined with the fact that Most Fanfic Writers Are Female, the comparatively little Adrien POV we get shouldn't be much of a surprise. That only makes it more precious to me.
        I like that you had him nervous even though
[Redacted Due To Spoilers]. I think most women don't realize what kind of risk a man is taking when he puts himself out there like that. If he's a decent guy, he has lowered his defenses, and he doesn't know whether she's going to take that opportunity to hurt him.

I agree with a lot of my reviews. This AU is too adorable with awkward Adult Adrien and Marinette stumbling their way into a relationship. I don't know if I can push through my burnout to write more within this universe, but I kind of want to.

My new story isn't the only one getting love lately, though.

I'm super excited - but also a touch embarrassed, simply due to the rating of the fic - that my Not Your Typical Reincarnation Story fic is still very regularly getting love. Not so much with comments, but I'm getting kudos nearly daily still! I also got two reblogs on Tumblr!

Here's the stats.

Stats from Last Update

AO3: 197 hits, 22 kudos, 2 bookmarks, and 4 comments
DA: 118 views, but still no interaction (probably never will get any, if I'm honest)

Total Results: 315 views, 22 kudos, 2 bookmarks, and 4 reviews

Tumblr Notes: 2 likes and 1 reblog

Comparitively, here's my stats now!

Current (at time of publishing) Stats

AO3: 627 hits, 62 kudos, 7 bookmarks, and the same 4 comments as before
DA: Now up to 131 views; probably will never get any other interaction on the story, if I'm honest.

Total Results: 758 views, 62 kudos, 7 bookmarks, and 4 comments

Tumblr Notes: 4 likes and 2 reblogs

I... The GROWTH! The NYTRS fandom must be thirstier than I thought. I was NOT expecting my smut story to be getting such regular reads and kudos! I'm glad that I apparently did a good enough job to warrant this love. Also, due to the subject matter and how people don't necessarily want it tied back to their account, I get why most of my views/kudos are from guests instead of named accounts. Likewise, I get why my comments section is relatively bare. I'm still thrilled to have this much love.

Especially since my first published smut - Sparks for the Moment - is nearly 5 years older, but doesn't even have 2x as many views, has an equal number of comments, and has fewer kudos and bookmarks. Could be a fandom differential, considering NYTRS is still on-going and Bitterblue was already an old book when I wrote my story. Still. It's nice to have that reassurance about a type of writing (smut) that I wasn't sure I was good at.

For oh-so-brief of a time in May I actually rode that writing high from getting so much love on my stories.

I published I Think I Like You (Maybe More Than I Should) on the 18th. The following day, Hubby and I watched the season (series? I hope not, given the cliffhanger) finale of Hailey's On It! The finale really cranked up the dial on the romance of the show. I was excited, but also nervous that the show would be cancelled before we get a season two and a conclusion to the cliff hanger. At the same time, though, I was a bit disappointed in myself. Back in, what, November? I had thought of that HOI fanfic of Scott confessing his feelings to Hailey. I had slept on actually writing that fic though, despite writing out an outline for it in January/February. After watching the finale, I feel like my story would have killed it. Did I miss my window?

I checked the show tag on both AO3 and FFN. Sadly, the show did seem to be dying. The finale only sparked one new story, as opposed to easily a dozen in the Miraculous Ladybug fandom with any given season finale. As for the show tag as a whole? There was only a couple dozen stories total on each site. I tore through most of the stories available (adding to my overall impressive - for me - reading time last month), and kind of scratched my head about how FEW Scott/Hailey stories there were... given her kissing Scott is kind of a key plot point of the series.... Scott's younger sister Becker clearly stole the show in the eyes of the fandom. So, even if I did publish, would I get any views? The fandom seems to be dying/non-existent, and most people seem to either not ship Hailey with Scott or only ship her with Scott if it's a polycule.

Then again, I didn't think I'd find any Bitterblue fans left when I posted my smut, and I still got 1300+ hits over the past 5 years. Maybe there's other Hailey/Scott shippers like me who are craving for content.

Generated by Bitmoji

Screw it! I wanted to write this story for over half-a-year now! Even if there are 5 other Scott/Hailey shippers left in the world, I want to write this story!

Write for myself, right?

With renewed interest in the story, and new determination to get it written, I started churning it out. I got about 1/2 way through the story, and about 2200 words in, before I hit my wall.

Between using the nice weather and renewed energy outside of work to try to catch up on housework, running out of down time at work because of the new projects, enjoying my front porch while trying to catch up on Dracula Daily entries, and pausing the story so I could instead work on this blog update.... well, my "Hailey's On It! story posted timely after the finale's cliffhanger" plan turned into my "I'll.... finish it before the end of the summer?" plan.

Let's hope I can break through this burnout and can find the time and energy to get back into writing. My latest story awaits! Do you peeps think I can get it done before the end of June so that I have a new story every month for the 2nd quarter of the year!?

I'm taking bets.

Generated by Bitmoji

Monday, April 29, 2024

My Over-Analyzing Era

Est. Read Time: 28min
This Month's Font: Josefin Sans

Well then. I started this blog update on the 17th with so so SO much hope that I would get it done before the end of the month this time. I managed it! Win! But it still kept me 11 days to actually have this written up (and an extra day to edit).

Generated by Bitmoji

What happened to my weekly updates where I wrote up the post within the 6hrs or so that Hubby was at work???? Are my updates really THAT much longer now? Am I getting interrupted that much? Is my brain now too scattered to focus on something long enough to complete it within one sitting anymore? What's even going on???

Anyway, you might have noticed that I've switched up the font again this month. Going back to Josefin Sans so see how I feel about it. I dunno. I just can't find one that makes me think "That's it! That's my new font!" I may have to full-on go back to the drawing board. Maybe search for some new font options. See if I can find one that better fits what I'm looking for. I'm just nervous about finding one, only for it to be moot since most of my readers won't have access to that font on their devices.

Is that's what's been going on this whole time anyway???? Is that why no one has commented on their font preference for the past 16 months???? Does the font just change to some default like Ariel or Times New Roman or Calibri or something when you bring up my updates? Am I toiling over something that most of you can't even see???

If so... that tracks. I've been WAY over-analyzing lately, apparently.

Generated by Bitmoji
Edited by LycoRogue

Oh... quick side note, since I'm talking about features readers may not even see. I spent a LOT of time last update putting in alt-text descriptions for all of my images. When I published, however, the little "alt text" clickable link that shows up on images elsewhere - such as Twitter or Tumblr - didn't show up at all. I clicked on the images and.... nothing! Does the alt-text code not work? Is it only for screen readers, and there is no other way to access the alt text???? Do I have no way of double checking on the code without using a screen reader myself?

So disappointing....

I've tried, but if the alt-text code isn't working I just don't have the energy to fruitlessly describe every image I put on this blog. If you use a screen reader or otherwise need that accessibility feature - and if you either were able to get the alt texts last post or know of an alternative way for me to include them - please let me know. I want to make sure I'm accessible to my readers, but I'm not going to make the process of writing each update needlessly longer by writing up descriptions no one can see anyway. So, in the meantime, I think I'm going back to not describing the images. Sorry....

Getting back to where I was originally going with that "over-analyzing" thought process, though. I managed to finish the smut fic that I talked about last update!

To be fair, although I do describe the full sex act between the characters, I focus more on them kissing on each other and their hands roaming each other's arms and backs and the like. I also zoom in on their thoughts and motivations as the night progresses. So, it IS technically explicit, "smutty" material, but it's not really "pornographic." So... it's like... 25% smut?

Anyway, I'm just so proud of myself. As I mentioned last update, between the two published stories I had in 2023 (totaling 1870 words) and whatever prose writing I might have done for Seduce with Caution in the past year or so, I've barely written 3k words since December 2022. Want to know how long that smut story turned out? OVER 7200 WORDS LONG!!! That is more than what I've written since June 2022!

HOW!?!

It's amazing! I feel amazing! I am GLOWING with pride and excitement over this story. Between edits and just genuine enjoyment, I must have reread this beast about a dozen times since I've completed writing it two weeks ago.

But, then comes in the over-analyzing....

I was excited about this story. I told you all last update that this story had a chokehold on me and I was writing with a renewed vigor. It kept three days of chipping away at it - March 24th, April 9th, and April 11th - but I had it done and edited on the 12th. Once completed, I was itching to publish it online.

Then I remembered that Not Your Typical Reincarnation Story is an adaptation of a webnovel. Basically, webnovels are what gets hosted by sites like FictionPress or Wattpad: typically amateur original writing published online for free consumption. Point being, it already was a novel, and yet I'm here "novelizing" the webcomic.

The whole thing felt very The Producers (2005): a movie musical adaptation of a Broadway musical adaptation of the original Mel Brooks movie from 1967 (about a fictitious Broadway musical...).

Was there even a point in publishing this story now? Was what I was craving - filling in the gap of the mental state and emotional shift within the main characters during their first night together - already available for me via the original author's novel?

It kept a little bit for me to track down, especially since I was looking under the wrong title, but I found a copy of the English translation of the original webnovel. I'm not sure how the webcomic landed on the title Not Your Typical Reincarnation Story, but the webnovel used a more literal translation of the Korean: I Thought It Was A Common Transmigration.

There's two different uploads that I found, each with their own slight translation interpretations and errors, but you can still get the basic idea of the original novel and what author Lemon Frog wanted to say.

On Moonlight Novel
On Guava Read

There were quite a few translation/localization changes between the English webnovel and the English manhwa that I found amusing. For one, Rigelhof (as it is spelled in the webcomic) was spelled Riegelhoff in the Guava Read version of the webnovel translation. For two, the butler Rhynon (webcomic) had his name spelled Renan in the webnovel translations. Then, we had the two biggest changes. The Duke's family name in the webcomic is Rudwick. In both English translations of the webnovel? Ludwig.... Finally, while the Duke's ward is Rhyse (pronounced 'Reese') in the webcomic, in the webnovel her name was apparently Lizé.

So, I guess that's one reason to go ahead with publishing my story. Like a novelization of a movie adaptation of a novel, there's going to be changes to the adaptation from the original novel. Therefore, even if the original author Lemon Frog did write up more about Edith and Killian's mental states during their first night together - if not straight up write out the sex scene - it still could have been different than how it would have played out in the webcomic version. And so, I would still be filling in that blank spot for us Webtoon fans.

Regardless, I was still curious about how Lemon Frog handled that main plot point. Yes, my story was based off of the webcomic, which was a bit different from the webnovel. However, I didn't want to publish something that majorly contradicted the webnovel (specifically, character motivations and/or mental states). At least, I didn't want to publish it without a disclaimer that it was novel non-compliant.

I flipped through the chapters real quick, and found the seduction scene in the webnovel. Turns out that Lemon Frog did the same thing as the webcomic. Killian was successful in seducing Edith. They start making out. He starts lifting the skirt of her nightgown up her legs. Hard-cut to Edith waking up in Killian's bed the next morning, still beaming about the night she had with her husband.

I even had a chuckle when I saw the comments section of the Guava Read upload that included comments like "i can never forgive the author for not giving us the full details about the night, IM CRYINHGG[sic]" and "author, think there is a big chunk of this chapter missing please fix the error asap" and "Author-nim, there is so much lacking in this novel. The details of their first night! Why?!"

Seems I'm not the only one who was like, "NOOOO! The censoring!!!!"

The comments were also either from late last year or as recent as this past February. The webnovel - at least, the English translation of it - is still relatively new! So, there were potentially others who read the webnovel translation who were still hungry for that "missing" content. Not to mention the webcomic fans, such as myself.

Lemon Frog didn't already canonically describe what I had just written out, AND there was potentially an audience for my story still! It was DEFINITELY worth posting (as opposed to just keeping it to myself).

Generated by Bitmoji
Cropped by LycoRogue

Added bonus? The inner monologue that I said last time was implied but not expressly stated? The focus on Killian's motivation and thoughts on losing his virginity? Edith's confusion about Killian's seduction? All of that unsaid stuff that I included in my story? It was almost all accurate, apparently!

For instance, based on how the comic artist A-jin drew Killian when he first caught Edith in his room, he didn't give off "I just got woken up" vibes.

Scene from episode 20
Story by Lemon Frog
Art by A-jin

So, I had Edith silently panicking that Killian had only been pretending to be asleep when she kissed him. Lo and behold, if you go to the novel, you have the kiss played out from Killian's point-of-view because he 100% was pretending to be asleep, just to see what Edith would do.

Again, just from studying Killian's character and the catalysts leading to him seducing Edith, I had him becoming lustful because he doesn't have to fight for Edith's affection; she'd give it freely if allowed. Plus, he felt guilty about Edith fainting and sliding into a coma for two days, which is why he didn't go to see her when he heard that she had woken up earlier that day.

Jump over to the novel, and guess what Killian's motivation for both seducing Edith and not going to see her when she woke up earlier that day were?

Quite frankly, the only thing that truly differs in my story compared to the webnovel is the amount of time they had sex together. Minor spoilers here, but, the webnovel concluded the seduction scene with, "After that, Killian couldn’t control himself. It was just the beginning of a night dominated by passion, instinct, hot body temperature, and slippery sweat." Despite going on for 7200+ words, my story definitely didn't have them go through "a night dominated by passion", etc. I did manage to work in the passion, instinct, elevated body temps, and sweat on my own. Just... not a full night's worth....

Regardless, I'm stoked that I was able to pick up on the crumbs that the adapter and illustrator left us readers, and used them to lead me to the exact character motivations and growth that Lemon Frog had for Edith and Killian.

I'm actually SUPER proud about that.

Generated by Bitmoji

OK! That over-think was out of the way. I was definitely publishing this story. I would then have to hope it does well within the fandom. Now, time to sort out a title for it. I couldn't just leave the file name as the title: Not Your Typical Reincarnation Story Smut....

Juuuuust.... needed an actual title...

AAAAAANY sort of title...

Once I have the title I could post the story....

Title...

Generated by Bitmoji

I was stumped. Nothing came to mind. There wasn't really a THEME for me to build a title off of, like Rolling Thunder or Cataclysm the Doubt. I couldn't think of a fun summary title/play on words like Peeping Tomcat or Woven Heartstrings or Prescription for Love or For Whom the Bells Toll or my last smut story Sparks for the Moment. The story wasn't based off of a song like I Don't Care or RE: Your Brains. Although, I did try finding songs that matched the vibe of the story and maybe title it off of those.

The ones that fit the best, for me, were the Dua Lipa songs "Fever" and "Pretty Please" as well as the song "Obsessed" by EMDI featuring Veronica Bravo. All of which had song titles that just felt too generic for a story title.... Although, given that Suna was isekai'd into the story Don't Obsess Over Me, Brother, perhaps calling the story "Obessed" wouldn't be too terrible....

Anyway!

Maybe the tried and true "use a line or bit of dialogue from the story to title it" method would work better?

I had three potential candidates. All were lines from Killian's canonical dialogue. All had pluses and minuses.

First potential was Killian's first line in that webtoon episode/webnovel chapter. The one showcased in the above panels: "You pretended not to care this whole time."

Edith had just kissed Killian while she believed he was asleep. She then expected him to wake up, just like he did in the novel, and throw her out of his room in disgust. Instead, he catches hold of her arm, smirks at her, and comments, "You pretended not to care this whole time," before teasing her about her lust being too great to pretend any longer, and how he's fine to let her have her way with him.

Which leads me to my second potential dialogue-turned-title: "Seduce me like the Rigelhofs taught you."

When Edith still resists Killian, he takes her hand and runs it up and down his bare chest while continuing to basically tell her to do whatever physical depravity she wants with him. He then asks her my third potential title: "...Are you happy now?"

Now, the main pro of that first option was that it felt very on-theme for the story. Both Edith and Killian pretended to not care about the other. Even to themselves. Edith pretended to not care about Killian, or about Killian's affection for Rhyse, or what Killian and his family thought about her (Edith), or that her life was fated to be tragic, rough, and end by her husband executing her. Killian pretended to not care that his father favored his older brother (for obvious birth-order inheritance reasons), or that he'd soon inherit land that was going to be removed from his family's dukedom and he would have to move out of his childhood home, or that Rhyse seemed to also prefer Cliff, or that he (Killian) was potentially the cause for Edith fainting and falling into a coma. He pretended to not care about Edith at all, let alone what his family negatively thought of her. Killian also pretended to not care about the rumors that Edith is having an affair with butler Rhynon. There is just so much pretending to not care throughout the canonical story. Alternatively, in my fic, those façades come down and they finally admit - even if briefly - that they DO care.

Another pro? That line kicks off the whole seduction scene, so fans should be able to know exactly where this fic takes place within canon. Simply based off of the title.

The con of this title? It felt a bit "angsty" for an otherwise "fluffy" little sex scene where two people finally see each other, come together, and just let go. If people saw the title "You Pretended Not to Care This Whole Time" (or, the shorter alternative "You Pretended Not to Care"), would they think "ooo, that's a fluffy smut fic"?

The pros of the second option? Well, for one, just like the first option, it would be a dead giveaway for fans as to when my fic takes place. Maybe even a more obvious "hint" on when the story takes place.

A second - and the main - pro? I mean, it straight up includes the word "seduce" within the title, so it would DEFINITELY give off the right vibes: "this is a smut fic, folks!" Killian asking Edith to "Seduce me like the Rigelhofs taught you" also gives off the vibes of the sex scene itself: sensual but also a bit clunky and goofy. On top of that, while the line is Killian addressing Edith, I thought it was equally appropriate the other way around. The irony of KILLIAN being the one to seduce EDITH the way that he believes the Rigelhofs had taught her. All-in-all, this was one of my favorite title options.

The cons though? For one, "Seduce Me Like The Rigelhofs Taught You" felt too long of a title. Despite liking isekais, with their notoriously long titles, I have always preferred short titles that are easy to remember, quick to say, and quick to type. However, simply shortening this option to "Seduce Me" then felt like I fell into the same "too generic" title category as "Fever" or "Pretty Please" or "Obsessed". Also, "Seduce me like the Rigelhofs taught you" felt very "Draw me like one of your French girls." Yeah, I mean, that's kind of the vibe, but it also feels a bit extra goofy???? I dunno. Secret third con? Well, I've been working on Seduce with Caution for damn near four years now. Only to then post a DIFFERENT smut story with "Seduce" in the title? It just felt like, if/when I finally publish SWC it would then read like I can only come up with smut stories with the word "seduce" somewhere in the title (Sparks for the Moment not withstanding). It was a weird block, but one I faced nonetheless. I just couldn't lock "Seduce Me Like the Rigelhofs Taught You" in as the title of my fic because of those cons.

The final option? Well, the pro is that both Edith and Killian do wonder "Are you happy now?" at the end of the story. They are metaphorically asking that question both of each other as well as of themselves. Plus, it's the shortest option out of the ones I was toying with.

The cons? The title again felt kind of generic. As well as potentially sarcastic and/or angsty. It also didn't quite catch the vibes of the story the same way the other two options did.

As I was pondering those three options, I did think of a fourth: "Forget About Rhyse."

It wasn't really a line from the story, but I did have that sentiment a couple of different times throughout the narrative. Edith wonders if Killian could possibly forget about his feelings for Rhyse, or if he'd regret sleeping with Edith. Meanwhile, Killian is already pushing his feelings for Rhyse to the side and needed Edith to be the one who forgot about Rhyse. Forget about how her husband was in love with Rhyse. Forget about her friendship to Rhyse and whether or not sleeping with her own husband is somehow a betrayal of Rhyse.

There was a lot of focus on "we need to forget Rhyse exists right now" for a portion of my story. And them following through with sleeping together seemed to confirm that they did indeed forget about Rhyse, even briefly.

Plus... short title. Win!

My problem with this title, though, was that it felt like it incorrectly signaled to the potential readers that the narrative would be focusing on Rhyse in some form. She wasn't even in the story outside of Edith and Killian briefly talking about her and Edith having a throw-away line about wondering if Killian was picturing her as Rhyse. Also, "Forget About Rhyse" again falls into the "does this title make it feel like an angsty story" conundrum.

I just couldn't decide on what to title this story, and so I ended up not publishing it on the 12th after completing it. Maybe if I slept on it a good title would pop in my head.

No such luck. So, I spent the rest of the weekend pondering. Reading, rereading, and re-rereading my story to try to see if the right title vibe would show itself to me. I asked two different people if they had any ideas on which of my titles seemed best, or if they had any alternative suggestions.

One of them teased that I was definitely reading too much into my potential titles, and that my readers wouldn't be putting nearly as much weight into what the title alone could mean for the story. Yeah. I was over-analyzing again.

Still. I feel like if I was doing this, there MUST be others who would as well. Titles are important, after all.

In the end, I had to make the decision myself.

It kept me until after 6:30pm on Sunday, April 14th, but I finally locked in my story title.

Despite the "potentially angsty vibe" downside, I landed on my first title option:

You Pretended Not to Care

Summary:
      When Suna Choi reincarnated as Edith Rigelhof, the villainess of the novel Suna read the night before she died, she knew she had to do everything possible to avoid Edith's cruel execution at the hands of her own husband. Seemed easy enough to avoid the pitfalls that led to Edith's demise. She attempted to befriend the novel's protagonist Rhyse Sinclair. She refused to be her despicable father's spy. Most importantly, she wouldn't fall in love with her husband Killian Rudwick. His heart already belonged to Rhyse, and his arranged marriage to Edith wasn't going to change that.
      Despite her best efforts, Edith is still being forced down the same path as the original novel's plot. At least, that's what it seems like. But when Edith finally waves the white flag and decides to just follow the plot after all, the novel again has other plans. Edith steels herself for the next main plot point: a failed attempt to seduce her husband... except... this time it isn't going to fail....
  • Rating: Explicit; due to a descriptive sex scene
  • Word Count: 7,228
  • Est. Reading Time: 36min
  • Status: Completed one-shot
• On ArchiveOfOurOwn       • On Tumblr       • On DeviantArt

I was shaking as I posted it to AO3, DA, and Tumblr (due to site restrictions, I can't post my smut on FFN). Don't get me wrong. I get a little nervous each time I publish a story; of course I do. I worry that people won't like it. People won't even SEE it. That I'm just screaming out into the void.

I mean, sure, "write for yourself" and all that, but what's the point of then publicly sharing said story if not to attract an audience for it?

When I share my smut, however? Hooooooboy! That is another level of nerves. Will people think poorly of me for even writing smut? Let alone sharing it? Does my sex scene read as authentic? Does it read as goofy and cliché? Does it read as bland and generic? Does it read as juvenile? Will people like it? Will they find it cringe? Will I be thought of as a weird pervert? Will people use how I wrote out the sex scene as proof of my own kinks or what my own sex life looks like?

I anxiously awaited my 24 hour stats.

24 Hour Stats

AO3: 13 hits, 2 kudos, no bookmarks or comments
DA: 13 views, but no interaction

Total Results: 26 views, 2 kudos, no bookmarks, and no reviews

Tumblr Notes: 2 likes

Not the greatest stats in the world.... But, considering I didn't know how big this fandom was, there were no other smut options for this fandom on AO3 for me to gauge off of, I didn't promote the new story on my socials (aside from Tumblr, obviously), and it IS smut... getting any kudos/Tumblr likes at all was an accomplishment! There were people on AO3 willing to read my smut - or, at least, open the tab....

I'll take it!

Then, roughly an hour after I grabbed my 24hr stats, I got my first review! The exact type of review I was hoping for:

THANK YOU!!!!
I've been waiting for someone to fill in these blanks that were left in the original story. Your contribution is greatly appreciated
💜
- Megra

That review managed to rejuvenate my faith in myself, my writing, and the fact that I had an audience. Emboldened, I tweeted out about my new story, as well as posted about it on FB. I have no clue if those "promos" really did anything for my readership, but the readers started rolling in regardless!

Current (at time of publishing) Stats

AO3: 197 hits, 22 kudos, 2 bookmarks, and 4 comments
DA: 118 views, but still no interaction (probably never will get any, if I'm honest)

Total Results: 315 views, 22 kudos, 2 bookmarks, and 4 reviews

Tumblr Notes: 2 likes and 1 reblog

Reviews:
  • THANK YOU!!!! I've been waiting for someone to fill in these blanks that were left in the original story. Your contribution is greatly appreciated 💜 - Megra
  • This is good. Extra kudos. - Elf_Kid
  • This is absolutely what this fandom has been needing. While I hope this won't be the last fic written to fill in this particular blank, you can rest assured that you have set the bar for it really frickin high
    edit: oops it is now 3 am goodbye sleep schedule

    - EvenstarFalling
  • This was SO GOOD!! 💖
    I love how you wrote their actions and the alternating POV was really nice; it's great to be able to contrast Edith and Killian's thoughts and feelings through the story.
    - ZenPudding

I know it feels so weirdly small of a number to be happy about, but roughly 11% of people who read my story on AO3 left a kudos! And nearly 18% of those who left a kudos also left me a comment! Those are insane stats, actually!

Comparatively, let's look at my other smut story Sparks for the Moment. Only about 4% of that story's readers left a kudos. And only about 7% of people who left a kudos also left a comment.

What about my most popular single-chapter, non-smut, big-fandom story Could Your Paradise Also Be Your Hell? Only 6% of those readers left kudos, and, again, only about 7% of those who left a kudos also left a comment.

Granted, the data will be skewed by how long the story has been published. For instance, a person who rereads any of my stories will add hits but can't give me more kudos. Which then throws the kudos-to-hits ratio off, but it's not for lack of love for my story. You know?

That said, for now, I'm basking in the glow of a surprisingly well-received piece of my work.

Generated by Bitmoji

Oh! Fun side note? That smut story is also the 50th story I've published on AO3. That's... a neat milestone...

Now to just write another smut story for Edith and Killian's second night together. Then to jump over to Leveling Up My Husband to the Max and write up smut for Amber and Carlyx's first night together.... And then another one for their night together after Carlyx saved Amber... and then again for their last night together before Carlyx went off to war... and then their reunion over a year later....

Goodness! I really AM reading the manhwa equivalents of classic Harlequin romances, aren't I? Well... I guess I AM within that target demographic now, huh?

Generated by Bitmoji
Cropped by LycoRogue

On the non-smut side of things, I toyed around with my mental build of NoPixel character Anna-Marie Wolffe (maybe I could manifest her if I do this often enough?).

The more I thought about how I would love to play her as a sort of Mama Wolf (hence the last name), I realized there's no way I could play her as someone in her 20s. I mean, I KNOW there's 20-something "Mom Friends". I used to be one of them. But it just isn't the right VIBE for her. I want her to be Protective MamaTM because she has that experience under her belt. Therefore, I'd probably keep her about my age.

 That's one thing sorted out.

I then wondered why Anna-Marie would be moving to Los Santos.

Most people move due to housing reasons: improved housing, being able to own instead of rent, cheaper housing options, improved neighborhood/less crime, better school district, was forced to move (eviction/foreclosure), etc. Quite frankly, due to NoPixel characters starting in a tiny studio apartment within a Los Angeles-like city - one that has MORE crime due to it being a GTA game - me thinks that "moving for basic housing reasons" doesn't really apply for Anna-Marie.

MAAAAYBE the foreclosure/eviction reason? But... then why go out to Los Santos to try to start anew if your finances are that poor? I mean, it WOULD explain the starting character account of only $500 dollars.... MAAAAAYBE this could be an option then? She lost her family home, heard that people were starting over in Los Santos and that the renewed economy meant that anyone could make it big on just $500, so she decided to try her luck???? Eh. It's in the running, I guess. What do you folks think?

The next biggest reason people move is for family: again, better school districts, change in marital status, wanting to establish one's own household, living closer to/further from family members, taking care of ailing family, assisting family in other ways (such as helping raise children), etc. Because I don't personally know any of the other NoPixel players there is no way to establish any of them as Anna-Marie's family that she moved to Los Santos to be with. Unless Hubby joins me with his own character on NoPixel, I can't say that Anna-Marie moved there with her family for x-reason. I could maybe establish that 40-something Anna-Marie moved to Los Santos to give her kids a better life, but.... then where are her kids? Did she go ahead of them in order to set up a home before they move in? If that's so, and I manage to play throughout the many years that 4.0 is live, why hasn't her family moved to join her in the months or YEARS that Anna-Marie is in Los Santos? Seems weird to create lore that she has kids but then never introduce them or be forced to come up with lore as to why they never joined her in LS. And, given the motherly demeaner I would love for her to have, it doesn't make sense to make her a neglectful mother of her own kids.

The only "for family" option that I could think of that might work here is either 1) trying to get away from existing family; poor family home life, or 2) change in marital status. Given that I'm pulling a little from X-Men's Rogue as inspiration for Anna-Marie (see: her name), I can see her having a need to get away from her family. I cannot see her getting a divorce. Maybe she's a young widow? Or her and her beau didn't marry before he broke her heart. I think that's my frontrunner: she was devastated by an ex and she moved to Los Santos to get as far from him as possible; starting anew.

The third reason given by people who have moved is employment: new job or job transfer, having an easier commute, retirement, or better opportunity to find a new job.

Obviously Anna-Marie wouldn't have a job right out the gate. That's part of the fun of the game: finding ways to earn money. I could maybe come up with some BS job within the city and then say that it fell through once she moved. A new job that fell through? A transfer that ended up getting cut?

Maybe, since Los Santos is supposed to be like LA, and there IS a movie studio within Los Santos, Anna-Marie moved for the same reason a LOT of people move to LA: to get a foot into the film industry. Maybe I could have her be an actor or writer or even a film editor? It would be so fun to use Anna-Marie as an excuse to get back into editing so she would have a resume reel. However, I've been out of the game for so long. I am INCREDIBLY rusty. So, unless I get back into editing before this dream-inclusion on the NoPixel server, maybe I just leave it to skills I know I'm better at right now: acting and writing.

The final main reasons for moving, according to the census, are: relationship with unmarried partner (i.e. moving to be closer to them), attending/leaving college, health reasons (e.g. - my uncle's ex-wife got crippling migraines in the Northeast humidity, but they all-but-vanished when she moved to the desert), change of climate (i.e. Northerners moving south to avoid snow... or my uncle's ex-wife again), or avoiding/escaping natural disasters.

That first reason is again nixed. I would be going in without knowing anyone personally, and therefore I couldn't roleplay that Anna-Marie moved to be closer to any of them. Having her move to be closer to an unnamed/unseen relative or partner MIIIIIGHT work... Treat them like an unseen sitcom character, such as Niles' first wife Maris from Frasier, Howard's mother from The Big Bang Theory, Lieutenant Columbo's wife from Columbo, or Karen Walker's rich husband Stan from Will & Grace. Again, if I were to actually make it onto NoPixel, it's a high probability that Hubby would as well. In which case, coming up with an unseen partner would be out. Maybe a cousin, aunt/uncle, or grandparent???

There is a college campus in Los Santos. So Anna-Marie moving to LS to attend college as an adult student wouldn't be too far fetched. However, it would be hard to roleplay since the college is little more than a set-piece. I could maybe use that as an excuse as to why my character is unavailable during the times that I'm not playing. However, they already have the logged-off mechanic worked in: "Asleep". If someone isn't currently logged into NoPixel you say that character is currently "asleep" and that they "wake up" once the character is logged in. If someone goes a long time without playing, you say they are "traveling outside of the city" and that they have "returned to the city" once they log back in. You can also complain about how long of a wait the queue to log in is by grumbling about your "train ticket" causing delays. All that said, me saying "I was at my night classes" doesn't fit the already established vernacular. So I can probably nix that as an option.

I could maybe play around with those final three options: moving for health reasons, for a change of climate, or to avoid/escape a natural disaster. Despite Los Santos being a GTA version of LA, it doesn't really experience earthquakes. Although, you might be able to joke that all of the noclipping glitches are due to earthquakes.... Also, to have an immersive in-universe reason for the servers kicking everyone out of the game a couple of times per day for updates, the players refer to the system resets as "tsunamis" or "storms" that flood Los Santos and washes everyone out of the island-based city for a few minutes. These are usually timed "storms" so people can make sure to go for cover (aka - save your progress) in time. So, they're manageable disasters. However, still feels a bit much for someone to deal with if they've moved to LS to AVOID natural disasters. So, I think that option's out.

I have nothing either for or against the other options of "health reasons" or "change of climate". They can remain in the running, I guess.

So, to recap, here's some options for why Anna-Marie moved:

  1. Down on her luck. Just got evicted from her home (figure out reason later). She heard that the island city of Los Santos is trying to revitalize its economy and has government funding that allows every citizen to receive free housing, and there are a plethora of job opportunities in order to make a fortune. It required Anna-Marie to sell all of her belongings to do so, but she was able to fund her travel across country (starting on the east coast somewhere) and got a small studio apartment in Los Santos with $500 remaining to her name.
  2. Similar to - and possibly building off of - option 1: Anna-Marie finally raises enough money to get out of a toxic or abusive home. Whether that home was with her parent(s) or a lover TBD. She runs across country to try to get as far away as possible from that toxic/abusive environment. Once she is done running, she has but $500 to her name, but is able to get a small studio apartment for free thanks to the government assistance in Los Santos.
  3. A new job opportunity - be it a new career/company, a new position, and/or a job transfer - opens up in Los Santos. When Anna-Marie gets to the city she discovers that the job fell through. She has "secretly" been in the city for a couple of weeks (so, she was in LS for weeks prior to me officially playing as her; "secretly" explains why none of the player characters have bumped into her). She struggled to find other employment within x-industry (figure out later) over those few weeks, and eventually failed to secure anything. Now, with only $500 left in her account, Anna-Marie downgrades to the government-funded studio apartments and starts looking for work in more labor-intensive jobs, such as towing, package delivery, secure money transfers, or fast-food work.
  4. Similar to option 3: Anna-Marie got laid off from her old job, considered it A SignTM, and decided it was the perfect chance to move to Los Santos and attempt to get a foot into the film industry as a writer/actor. Sadly, as all know fairly well, the job offers won't come right away, so she's living in her government-funded studio while working odd jobs until she gets her big break.
  5. Generic "She moved to a new climate". I have no details for this option yet.
  6. Generic "She moved for health reasons". I have no details for this option yet.
  7. Anna-Marie's relative (TBD) lives in Paleto Bay, north of Los Santos but on the same island. The relative would always be an unseen character that I reference, but no one ever meets (unless it's handwaved that they met "off screen" like when players have their characters sleeping with each other... it's never ACTUALLY played out; it's just spoken into canon). This one would be tricky since there are already some player characters who have homes in Paleto, and they actually have a couple of gang HQs in that area. So I would have to find an address that isn't available to purchase. If it opens up for PC purchases, I could say that the relative died or needed to move, which is why the house was now on the market. Hopefully, by that time, Anna-Marie would be established enough within the city that it would make sense that she didn't move away with the relative no longer in Paleto.
          Not a bad option, but a touch more complicated. Especially since I'd have to come up with a second character while finishing my build of Anna-Marie.
  8. Vague "She just needed a new start". This one could be a bit fun. I thought it would be neat to have the other players kind of build up Anna-Marie's history for me. I would have Anna-Marie be vague and mysterious about why she moved to Los Santos or any past experiences she has. If anyone decides to fill in the gaps with their own theories or rumors, I would then vet them to see which ones I think work for the character, and then confirm those. Deny the ones that definitely won't work for the character. Refuse to either confirm or deny any I'm on the fence about.
          This is a great way to "Yes and..." my way into a character build. It's also a neat way to kind of form Anna-Marie's backstory organically. Finally, it would be able to take into consideration how my character presents to other players. Trish is fun and all, but I can't play her as intimidating as I wanted her to be. Lia ended up more meek than I had planned. Jolene got too attached to the adventuring party too quickly for her backstory. One of my old Vampire: The Masquerade characters had her whole backstory fleshed out just from how I fidgeted in the local park while waiting for a meeting to end. So, realistically, this might be my best option for Anna-Marie. It's still fun to come up with a complete character ahead of time though, especially since I'm daydreaming here. Which brings me to....
  9. Building off of option 2, my favorite option is probably that Anna-Marie was living with a boyfriend who broke her heart and devastated her. Considering the crime in NoPixel, I'll probably avoid her being mad at him simply for being a criminal. I think I'm leaning towards "she found out that not only was he cheating on her, but Anna-Marie was actually the secret 'kept' woman of a married man with kids!" Yeah. I think I like that. Being cheated on is one thing. Discovering that YOU are unintentionally and unwillingly the Other Woman makes it so much worse. THEN discovering that you're helping him betray his wife and abandon his kids!? When Anna-Marie herself wants kids (and he probably keeps shooting her down precisely because he's already a neglectful father)!? Ooof. Yeah. I like the spice of this one. I could see her feeling guilty enough to want to run as far away from him and his family as possible to no longer interfere, and not really having any personal possessions if it was his secret second home. Would a cheating husband be the one to pay for a secret second home???? Would he be mooching off of her home???? I dunno. Thoughts in the comments, please. I'd love to see what everyone thinks of this option.

Actually, I've love to hear thoughts on ANY of the above options. Were there any that resonated more with you than others? Do you have an idea for the "for health reasons" or "climate change" options? Do you have a different prompt for me to try to build off of? Should I lean more into the X-Men's Rogue lore? Should I try pulling in things from the D&D rogue class somehow???

In the meantime, it's been a fun thought experiment to keep going back to and poke at now and again as Hubby and I continue watching NoPixel.

I wonder what his character would be like if Hubby were to join....

Anyway, that is a thought experiment for another day. In the meantime...

Generated by Bitmoji