Monday, January 6, 2025

Trying Something New for 2025

Est. Read Time: 25 min
This Month's Font: Handlee

What a brilliant way to conclude my 2024 blog updates... posting my final one a week into 2025. Yup. That tracks.

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It seemed to have been the trend that year. I'd think that I'm going to go full-bore into that month's blog update at the start of the month. Only for me to just barely scrape something together at the end of the month, or I don't update until a week into the FOLLOWING month.

It's been a rough year for writing for me, is what I'm saying.

So, it should be of no surprise that I got sidetracked and delayed yet again in December. Seems a fitting close to that year....

The first week of December was spent with family out-of-state, celebrating Hubby's birthday, driving home from out-of-state, and dealing with snow. It's annoying, but I can't be mad at snow in December for Christmas. Hubby and I then had to transition back into working again after being off for about a week. I was too focused on my last blog update and all of that other stuff to even think about working on December's update at the time.

Then came a series of phone calls and texts I was not expecting.

We're all fine, but there was a medical scare in the family towards the start of December. Needless to say, that took up most of my mental focus for the better part of a week. There was no way I was thinking straight enough to work on writing in general, let alone updating this blog or trying to work out Seduce With Caution.

On top of that, one of my online friends has been having a rough time with it. Some suicide scares. Since I only really know her online, I came to the terrifying realization that if something DID happen to her I wouldn't know. I doubt anyone who knows her irl would think to reach out to me, and I don't have her personal info to reach out instead. I simply had to pray and check and wait. Thankfully, she's alright, and made a point to reach out to me to let me know.

It was.... kiiiiind of a stressful week for me....

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Edited by LycoRogue

I tried to destress a bit by getting back into playing on my Switch. I lucked out in discovering one of the games I've had on my Wish List for a while had a free full-game demo out. Much like the Animal Crossing games, this one - Cozy Grove - advances the game in real time. So, Nintendo went ahead and had the whole game unlocked for a week-long demo! If you liked the game, you could buy it, the data would transfer, and you could keep playing.

As the game name would suggest, it was the exact level of cozy I needed that week. You play as a Spirit Scout. Think Girl Scout/Boy Scout but you're tasked to help spirits move on. You're dropped off on a tiny, secluded, deserted island for your first solo camping trip. Unfortunately, your boat gets washed out to sea, and you're abandoned on the island! That's OK though. You come across a whole clan of friendly spirits who help you build up your campsite (complete with sentient camp fire Flamey - think Calcifer from Howl's Moving Castle).

The deserted island that you build up, in-game crafting, friendly co-habitants, and real-time game progression all gave off the same vibes as Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Then, the friendly and unique spirits that take the form of anthropomorphic animals, and your task to help them both remember their past lives and move on all reminded me a great deal of Spiritfarer. Especially since that game also has crafting and farming.

Finally, the game's graphics reminded me a little of the paper-art styling of, say, Don't Starve. Just, with a warm, cozy vibe... instead of Don't Starve's gothic Tim Burton vibe.

It was fun to run around for a few hours unlocking parts of the island, gathering trinkets to take to the seagull ship captain spirit (who claims he's a bear, just like all of the other spirits you encounter), and interact with these cuddly spirits. I love how each of them are designed to look like the key feature of their sense of self. The post master spirit looks like a package. The crafter looks like a tape measure. The eco-conscious one is covered in bark. As mentioned, the sea captain is a seagull (although he'll swear he's a bear-bird). The first spirit you meet, and who is your main guide, is dressed as a park ranger. The spirit that sells you things is a fox. You can buy trinkets from the fox spirit that then unlocks into pet birds.

The whole thing was so cozy. I knew I needed to just own this game. I did wait until after Christmas, in case someone got it - or a Nintendo eShop gift card - for me. The other day, though, I noticed that I still had enough funds on my account to buy the game while it was on sale (under $10!), so I scooped it up. I now have both that and ACNH for cozy chill games to vibe with.

Getting back to what I've been doing this December. The week following all of the health scares - after I confirmed that everyone was good - was focused on getting ready for Christmas. Shopping. Watching Christmas movies. Prepping for goodies-making. Hubby put up our tree (after I bought a replacement tree that was WAY smaller than I had anticipated, so we ended up using the old one with burnt out lights and needles falling off of it....).

Then we had an odd week with Christmas breaking it in half. The start of the week was spent in that Christmas Crunch as you rush to get the last bits organized for the holiday. Then you have Christmas itself. And then you finish the week in that mental holiday hangover, where you have to get back to Life As Normal, but you're still kinda feeling the Christmas mood? So you don't really feel like doing much outside of watching more holiday movies. And you have to scramble to figure out where you're putting the new stuff you might have gotten for Christmas.

Speaking of, check out this AWESOME gift from Hubby! I have ALWAYS loved the look of pocket watches. Always wanted one. 

Hubby knows how much I love pocket watches (especially with my love of Steampunk as well). We're also complete gamer nerds. So this was AH-MAZE-ING!

I have a mini dice carrier that looks like a pocket watch and its chain is long enough to be a necklace and I want to wear this EVERYWHERE and EVERY DAY and why can't I have more clothes that would match this aesthetic I am so mad that I can't wear this daily and AAAAAA~! I love it!

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Sprinkle in that, at work all month, I've actually had a series of projects to occupy my time. Which means I didn't have my normal downtime at work to do things like writing/plotting out stories. Granted, one of the projects I focused at work was something I came up with entirely on my own and is in no way pressing, but it was a crafting project that I've been meaning to do for at least a year now. Something that will help keep the store a bit more organized while giving a cleaner look than what we have been doing to keep the same things organized in the past. To be not so cryptic, I'm stitching together cloth holders for things that pair with some of our products. We have a lot of discontinued fabric that just keeps piling up, and I've wanted to make these holders for a while. So, might as well work my way through the discarded fabrics. Right? Buuuut, I can't bring in a whole sewing machine to sit on my desk. Instead, I'm hand-stitching everything. My manager is astounded. She's told me a few times that she can't believe I'm patient enough to keep working on this project of my own accord. It's fun, though. Relaxing. Allows me to do something with my hands besides typing on a keyboard or swiping on a phone. Breaks up my day a bit too since I can work on this project for however long I want.

I need to make something like 30 of these holders. I've completed 7. So this is going to be a LOOOOONG project, but it's been worth working on.

Long story short? I haven't touched my outline of Seduce with Caution all month. I haven't worked on the plot problems I've had for years. At best, I realized that I wanted to rework the first sex scene. It's fine. I might publish it on its own at some point. I just feel like, after working on You Pretended Not to Care, I have a better handle of a couple's first time together. Especially a couple like Marinette and Chat Noir.

So much for having the plot outline finalized so I could hit the ground running in 2025....

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Instead of working on my own stories, I've been consuming more of other people's. For one, I'm still reading Intensity by Zenmisery. She also gave us a surprise update for Dressed to Confess (the story that inspired my smut ML story in the first place, despite DtC not being smut itself). That was a fun almost-Christmas surprise! Zen also wrote a ML crossover fanfic with the Fallout franchise. I haven't taken the time to read that yet, but it's on my To Read list. Speaking of, I do also have another crossover fic on my list. That one is a crossover of Harry Potter and the PV versions of Ladybug and Chat Noir - namely Felix and Bridgette. I know, I know. I normally stay away from Harry Potter content. However, this story is written by a friend (who posted it anonymously, so I won't say who). I trust them, so it is on my list.

Point being, I'm pretty well fed in the fanfic department. That doesn't even include the HUNDREDS of ML fic that is probably uploaded damn near daily on AO3.

On top of all that, I have a slew of new Webtoon stories that I started reading, along with the list of ones I was already reading. I now have something like 18 series I'm semi-actively reading (two are Canvas, and so they only update about 2x per month, and 2 of the Webtoon Original stories are on hiatus). Plus, there's 3 series on Comikey that I'm invested in, even if I haven't gone back to read them in a little bit.

Now, normally, this is the point where I'll talk to you about the five new series I started up. However, I also recently noticed how much of my blog updates in 2024 were just me talking about these comics. No shade. Writers SHOULD read. One of the three stories I wrote last year was fanfic for one of the Webtoon series I was reading, for Pete's sake! It makes sense that I'd talk about what I'm reading within my blog (that is supposed to be) about writing.

That said, I feel like these updates are pretty epic enough without people who may not care about each thing I read having to slog through such a huge chunk of my updates on the off chance that I have more to say unrelated to reading after I'm done. Especially if my recommendations mean little-to-nothing. Maybe my readers are incapable or uninterested in getting an account with AO3 or Webtoon or Comikey to read what I am. Maybe I truly do have blog readers who just kind of sigh and quick scroll through all of my reading recaps. I mean, yeah, it's become a bit much. Especially since I seem to be adding more stories weekly!

So, I've decided to try something new for 2025. Introducing LycoRogue's Reading Corner!

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I'll still give a broad overview of my reading in my normal updates, much like I did here. I'll also give a bit more detail as needed should a particular story influence my writing. However, the bulk of me gushing about my latest reads - be they Webtoons, Comikey, fanfic, or professionally published novels - will now be in a separate update. I'm aiming to publish LycoRogue's Reading Corner around the 15th of each month, and then my monthly generic/writing updates around the last day of each month.

I do spend a great deal of time gathering up links and screenshots and the like for those "what am I reading now" chunks of my blog. It also takes a surprising amount of HTML editing to get it the format I prefer. Maybe if I break all that time off of my main blog updates I can actually publish those updates in the month they're for! Imagine!

So, keep an eye out for my inaugural LRRC post later this month! And my official January (life) update close to the 30th/31st.

Speaking of new things for 2025, it's already January (duh). Which means it's time for New Year's Resolutions! I'm going to be straight with you all. I have a list for my personal/home life that I'm not going to share, and my writing-focused one is just me giving another crack at the resolutions I came up with for 2024. I've made a few improvements between 2023 and 2024. I know a bit more about myself. I've grown. I've seen some of my pitfalls. I'm taking action to hopefully correct them (such as creating LRRC). Maybe 2025 will see better success in these resolutions.

How about a recap of those resolutions, since I stopped touching base REAL QUICK:

  1. Take another run at posting at least one blog update every month; 12 updates in total before the close of 2024
  2. Read an average of 7.5hrs per month (that's the equivalent of 15min per day for a 30-day month)
  3. Write Plagg-centric stories for the two Friday 13ths this year: September and December
  4. Publish at least one narrative each quarter of the year: 4 stories total; once every 3 months.

How well did I do with those goals in 2024?

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Resolution 1: Twelve monthly blog updates

Weeeeeellllll.... I got... Nine. With the exception of 2022 - which I skipped entirely - this is the fewest blog updates I have had in a single year ever since I started this blog! Well, I mean, I only had FIVE updates my debut year (2010), but I also didn't start up this blog until September, sooooooo.... That's MORE than one per month in 2010.... oof.

Resolution 2: Read an average of 7.5hrs per month

Oh, this one I actually did AMAZING with! It was a slow go, at first. Even those 15min/day was a hard sell. Now? I'm probably easily hitting that 7.5hr quota before the week is out! I'll pat myself on the back for this one.

Resolution 3: Celebrate Plagg Appreciation Day!

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm.... yeah.....

There were two Friday the 13ths in 2024. I missed both of them. Didn't even BOTHER to think of anything. I really do feel like the way season 5 went for the show, along with the year-long break between seasons, has really killed my drive. I don't even actively try to find the series to rewatch. That fifth season.... big sigh....

There is but ONE Friday the 13th in 2024. It is in June. So.... let's see if I can get back into the swing of things by then? Season 6 drops at the end of January, so here's hoping it brings back my love for the show and helps with inspiration for that June story.

Resolution 4: Publish 4 stories

I'll give myself a B- on this one. I lose marks because I only got out 3 instead of 4. I also lose marks because I didn't publish one seasonally. I only published during the 2nd quarter of the year. Which, in and of itself, was kind of impressive! I go from barely writing anything to writing three 4500+ word stories in back-to-back-to-back months! And two of those stories were over 7200 words long!?! I definitely earn back some serious points for that!

Also, I am STILL getting nearly-daily love for two out of the three stories! I'll talk more about my updated story stats below.

OK, so, what are my adjusted resolutions for 2025?

  1. Once more, I am trying for 12 updates before the conclusion of 2025. Plus my 12 LycoRogue's Reading Corner updates. Bringing me up to 24 in total! A big ask considering 2024's final record, but if I can at least get the monthly regular updates done then I'm good with not getting in all 12 LRRC updates.
    • 1B - I'm also going to end each of my monthly updates with a blessing. Something I'm grateful for that month, or something that brought me joy. That way it will be easier for me to do an end-of-the-year recap and be able to keep it more positive. (speaking of, my 2024 recap is below)
  2. I'm upping my reading goal to roughly 1hr per day: 30hrs total per month. I'm gonna need to do some extra reading in February, and, alternatively, I'll have a buffer day every 31-day month, but overall I think it's doable and fair.
    • 2B - Read at least one professionally published novel. I have at least 5 by Rick Riordan and another 3 by Kristin Cashore on my To Read list. Plus, I still haven't finished Ready Player Two. Maybe third time's the charm????
  3. Write a Plagg-centric story for Friday, June 13th.
    • 3B - it felt weird having this one be the only resolution without a sub-resolution... so.... placeholder sub resolution!
  4. Trying yet again to publish at least one narrative each quarter of the year: 4 stories total; once every 3 months.
    • 4B - Get either Seduce with Caution or One and the Same plotted out and ready to FINALLY get a completed first draft written up! The first draft itself doesn't need to be done in 2025 (although that IS a nice stretch goal!). I just want the OUTLINE finally polished by Dec 31, 2025 so I can get these dang stories written and published before they become decade-old WIPs!
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Edited by LycoRogue

That all feels a touch daunting given my current track record. I still want to try though. I really don't care if I fail at New Year's Resolutions. I just care if I put in the effort to grow in order to reach them. Ya know? So, let's grow to meet those resolutions!

I think a great place to start is, I guess, ending this update on a high note. I know that I haven't had the most positive updates in 2024. Even this update started off with a little bit of a bummer. That said, there were still some good things to happen during this dumpster fire of a year.

For one, my sister got married! And bought a house!

Photo edited by LycoRogue
to protect the anonymity of my sister and brother-in-law

(Tee hee. Any excuse to reuse that edit. I spent so much time on it, and I kinda love it!)

For two, I was able to cross off a few Bucket List items this year, and saw the awesome musical Hadestown.

For three, despite those health scares, everyone I love is doing well. Now for me to send some good vibes and healing energy to everyone so their mental health improves as well!

My fourth 2024 highlight? Well, as I mentioned, I REALLY got back into reading this year. I still need the visuals to really lock me in because my brain is too burnt out to properly imagine things, but it's a start. I'm able to transition back to solely prose writing in bites whenever I switch over to reading fanfiction. I'll get there. I'm heading in the right direction at least.

Finally, I feel blessed with how well two out of the three stories I posted this year have been doing. Honestly, given how small and diminishing the Hailey's On It! fandom seems to be, I'm a bit bummed, but I'm not even mad at Scott's List Item not doing too well. It's a niche story, I guess. Along with my Enderverse and LoZ ones.

Back to the other two though! Going in reverse, we have the lone entry into the ML fandom I had this year. A fanfic of a fanfic.

I Think I Like You
(Maybe More Than I Should)

Read on:     AO3          FFN          DA          Tumblr

Previous Stats

AO3: 1361 hits, 148 kudos, 19 bookmarks, and 10 comments
FFN: 357 views, 11 faves, 5 follows, and 3 reviews
DA: 1100 views, but no other engagement

Total Results: 2818 hits/views, 159 kudos/faves, 24 bookmarks/follows, and 13 comments/reviews

Tumblr Notes: 12 total; 6 likes and 2 reblogs off of my post, plus 3 likes and 1 reblog off Ladynoir AO3 Feed's post


Current (at time of publishing) Stats

AO3: 1504 hits, 171 kudos, 19 bookmarks, and 10 comments
FFN: 391 views, 11 faves, 5 follows, and 3 reviews
DA: 1200 views, but no other engagement

Total Results: 3095 hits/views, 182 kudos/faves, 24 bookmarks/follows, and 13 comments/reviews

Tumblr Notes: 12 total; 6 likes and 2 reblogs off of my post, plus 3 likes and 1 reblog off Ladynoir AO3 Feed's post

Growth: 277 hits/views, 23 kudos/faves. No new bookmarks/follows, comments, or Tumblr notes

As you can see, this story is finally starting to wind down in popularity, I think. Getting buried under the hundreds of newer ML content. I mean, I don't know if there's a way to sort by content total on AO3 the way you can on FFN, but ML currently has nearly 75,000 different works on AO3!!!! I guess it can be understandable (although still a little depressing) that my stuff gets buried and rarely seen/never recommended.

I do also have to give a long side-eye to some of those stats. I hate how much the internet has become overrun by bots. I can't trust pretty much ANY of those 1200 views on DA since there is no other engagement outside of one comment telling me it's cute. Especially since I just liked (and quickly un-liked) a gorgeous image of Marinette at a New Years Masquerade party... which I then discovered was AI generated.... YOU CAN'T APPRECIATE ANYTHING AT FACE VALUE ANYMORE! IT'S ALL LIES! Screw the old joke that there's no females online. I'm beginning to wonder if there's even any people online anymore.....

Along those lines, I'm also squinting hard at those 268 new hits (mostly on AO3) and 23 new kudos (exclusively AO3) with no other new engagement. Especially since a LOT of my notifications for those kudos said that they were done by a "guest". Like, I REALLY want to keep my account unlocked so people without an AO3 account, such as my family, can still read my posts. But I can't keep wondering if I'm just popular among bots because the engagement with my works just isn't there.

Remember what I wrote last time about needing feedback and engagement? Yeah, this is another reason. Let me know you're not a bot, please. Consider leaving even a little heart emoji in the comments my way of putting up a captcha.

OH! Fun note! I googled "captcha" to make sure I spelled it correctly. In doing so, I discovered what the acronym stands for: Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart. How labored is that acronym? I love it! So ridiculous!

Back to ITILY. I actually wrote down which stories got kudos on a calendar. I was going to make a graphic to show here, but I was using up way too much time trying to format it so it was readable when most people will be reading this blog in a profile view as opposed to a landscape view. (Trying to sort out the graphic is probably one of the reasons this update is late...)

Long and short, I was getting notifications for both ITILY and You Pretended Not to Care so frequently still that I just straight up wrote those two stories down every day, and then just checked them off if I actually got a notification that they got a kudos. Between my last stats update (November 19th) and today, the longest time between ITILY getting kudos was only 9 days! The average was only 3 days before I got another kudos notification. I also got kudos back-to-back-to-back  on that fic between November 21st and 23rd. For a story within the ML fandom to still get noticed that frequently half-a-year later is truly a blessing. Thank you to everyone who has read this fic, as well as those still finding and reading it.

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Now for the greatest writing blessing for me this year:

You Pretended Not To Care

Read on:     AO3          DA          Tumblr

Previous Stats

AO3: 2477 hits, 217 kudos, 31 bookmarks, and 11 comments
DA: 208 views, but still no other engagement

Total Results: 2685 views, 217 kudos, 31 bookmarks, and 11 comments

Tumblr Notes: 26 total; 22 likes and 4 reblogs

Current (at time of publishing) Stats

AO3: 2946 hits, 245 kudos, 33 bookmarks, and 15* comments
DA: 246 views, but still no other engagement

Total Results: 3192 views, 245 kudos, 33 bookmarks, and 15* comments

Tumblr Notes: 30 total; 26 likes and 4 reblogs

Growth: 507 views, 28 kudos, 2 bookmarks, 4* comments, and 4 Tumblr likes

New AO3 Reviews:
  1. 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚
  2. I love this!!! I love their relationship so much!!!
  3. Omg I loved this! Thank you for this. I enjoyed reading this, especially their inner monologues.
  4. *[A review in someone else's comment section; see below]

See? That last portion there? Especially the one where it's just a line of green heart emojis? That's the stuff! Even though YPNTC has had more views than ITILY (despite YPNTC not being on FFN) I don't feel the need to side-eye it as much.

For one, while I would expect the smut story to be liked by a bunch of guest accounts (so that there's no record that they looked at smut), I actually get a surprising number of logged-in AO3 users leaving me kudos. Thank you, brave readers, for staying logged in while consuming my story, and leaving me love while still under your AO3 handle. I appreciate the gesture so much!

For two, people are still bookmarking my story or liking it on Tumblr. Even if they don't leave a comment, the fact that they bookmarked my story proves to me that they're not a bot, and gives me extra butterflies that they want to make sure they can go back and re-find my story at any time. As for Tumblr? Sure, there's bots there. Sure, they frequently like posts as a way of tricking people into believing they're real. But to only have 26 likes - 2 from my friends, and 3 more also reblogging my story after liking it - that feels too small of an interaction pool to attract bots. I could be wrong, but it feels like these stats are more reliable for those reasons.

Third, COMMENTS! People are still COMMENTING! The story is over seven months old, and yet I'm STILL getting love in the comments! Granted, this fandom has maybe 30 stories in it, so people are probably starving for content. But still, that doesn't guarantee the starving readers are going to leave a comment after.

I dunno, just, all-in-all, these stats for YPNTC feel more reliably "real" than the ones for ITILY. 

Also, side note on the whole "for reals, comments mean THE WORLD" thing. One of the things that both MostLovedGirl and zenmisery have repetitively told me is how much they look forward to my comments. I think my comments - and then me replying to their replies to my comments - is what really opened the door to us becoming friends. Along those lines, I recently got this author reply from PeachesOfZenith for a comment I had left on their story Killian's Passion:

Oh my god thank you so so much! This comment made my day! I have reread this comment like 5 times already and I can't stop grinning and blushing like an idiot (my sister is looking at me like I am crazy 😅)
I am so glad that this was more than just smut to you and my attempt at understanding his character development actually came through.
[Redacted for story spoilers]
Your comment made me soo happy!
😭
I love your feedback and will keep it in mind!
Also I haven't stopped writing, it is just on hold because life I guess
😅
But I am working on some Under The Oak Tree fan fiction!
If you have any ideas for this fandom or any other fandom, please let me know! I will always appreciate any ideas or feedback!

Thanks again! May this new year be happy and healthy for you and your loved ones!
❤️

Like, wow! I never would have imagined that my comments would make such a huge impact, and I'm someone who believes in leaving comments SPECIFICALLY because it truly helps encourage the writer. I am now the one grinning like an idiot because it made my day that something I said lifted someone else up that much.

THAT CAN BE YOU! YOU CAN BE THAT PERSON LIFTING OTHERS! JUST LEAVE A COMMENT WHEN YOU READ ONLINE FICTION! PLEASE!

Naturally, I had to respond to PeachesOfZenith's reply. How could I NOT after THAT!? We have a bit of a back-and-forth going on now. While I won't go so far as to say that Peaches and I are now online friends, it is very reminiscent of how I became friends with MLG, Zenmisery, Taurus Pixie, and MalcomReynolds. So, that's fun! Anyway, in one of Peaches' replies they unofficially left ME a review!

Also I read your fic (although I didn't know it was you until now)
It was great and made sense, you know? I loved that it wasn't just Killian being amazing right off the bat, but instead him learning as he goes forward. It was good! I have read it more than a couple of times already!
😆
Also I really like the past[sic] where [Redacted due to mild spoiler]. Kinda felt a tiny bit sadistic from his side lol. Loved that!

EEEEEEE! How cool is this!?! Man! I love how much love this story is getting!

Along those lines, between November 19th and December 16th I never went more then 2 days without a new kudos notification for YPNTC! In total, since November 19th, I've received at least one new kudos for this story on 17 different days. Granted, that means it HAS slowed down from "nearly daily" since mid-December. Even so, getting a kudos notification 17 days out of 48 is still a 35% rate! And I got 27 new kudos within those 17 days, which means, on multiple occasions, multiple people were leaving me a kudos on the same day. Again, not too shabby of stats given the story is 7 months old.

That said, my story is also hands down the longest one-shot within the fandom and the 3rd-longest overall, at least on AO3. It's also the one with the most bookmarks, the most kudos, and the most comments within this small fandom on AO3.

Maybe my problem really IS that the Miraculous fandom is just too large????

The only story within the Not Your Typical Reincarnation Story fandom on AO3 that has more hits is a story I haven't read yet because it claims it has spoilers, and I don't know how far into the overall story I'd need to be for this fanfic to not spoil anything. They apparently use the name "Rhyse" instead of "Lizé" in the fic, which seems to imply that they are using the Webtoon adaptation for the naming cues (as opposed to the English translations of the webnovel, which use "Lizé"). That doesn't mean the author didn't write with knowledge of the completed novel and therefore would be giving novel spoilers to us manhwa readers.... Sooo, yeah, long story short, I'm avoiding the story that surpasses mine in hits: identidem by Musky_Potato. At least, for now. I may loop back to it once NYTRS concludes on Webtoon.

Anyway, the stats for YPNTC are just as awesome if you simply look at MY writing!

You Pretended Not to Care is my 5th most viewed story (out of 52)! The ones that have more AO3 hits?

  1. Peeping Tomcat
    • 14,937 hits
    • ML fic with 17 chapters (and each chapter would add a new hit for each reader), is over 84k words long, and was published over six years ago!
    • (Oh, lord, that means One and the Same has been in the works for nearly 7 years!?!)
  2. Could Your Paradise Also Be Your Hell?
    • 8,532 hits
    • A one-shot fanfic of a fanfic. ML fandom, based off of MLG's chaptered fic Remember That Time When... (which has over 66k hits!), was published nearly 4yrs ago, and is one of my shorter stories - for people who can't dedicate hours to reading fanfic.
  3. Woven Heartstrings
    • 6,948 hits
    • Christmas ML fic (that is surprisingly popular OUTSIDE of the holiday season) with 8 chapters, is 32k words long, and was published just shy of 6yrs ago
  4. Prescription for Love
    • 3,413 hits
    • Yet another ML fanfic. It has 9 chapters and is 19k words long. It's a companion story of an episode, and was published 5yrs ago.

Those stories are in a huge fandom (as I lamented earlier), and have had YEARS to build up views! YPNTC is less than 500 views shy of Prescription for Love!

In case that wasn't impressive enough, YPNTC also has the 5th highest kudos count! You may recognize the only other stories above it:

  1. Woven Heartstrings
    • 555 kudos
  2. Could Your Paradise Also Be Your Hell?
    • A nice, even 500 kudos!
  3. Peeping Tomcat
    • 435 kudos
  4. I Was Thinking Of You
    • 312 kudos
    • A newcomer in this line-up
    • ML fandom yet again. Only 3500 words. Published 5yrs ago

At less than a year old, YPNTC is only 68 kudos shy of matching I Was Thinking of You. Again, a story that has had FIVE YEARS to get as many kudos!

YPNTC does dip a touch when it comes to number of comments, but is still in the top 15! Also, while you can only leave one kudos per story, you can leave one new comment (if not more) per chapter. So, chaptered stories are going to have higher opportunities to have more comments.

The breakdown is:

  1. Peeping Tomcat
    • 39 comments
  2. Woven Heartstrings
    • 37 comments
  3. Perfect Doesn't Need to be Perfect
    • 35 comments
    • Another ML Christmas fic, but also a fanfic of a fanfic. It's 12 chapters and 37k words long. Published 4yrs ago
  4. Prescription for Love
    • 31 comments
  5. Hearts Together
    • 25 comments
    • Fanfic in the Fruits Basket fandom this time; 7 chapters, and 11k words. Published 5yrs ago
  6. Love Square Fluff Week 2020
    • 20 comments
    • Abandoned ML fic that still managed 5 chapters and 18k words. Published shy of 5yrs ago
  7. Marinette's Song
    • 18 comments
    • ML fanfic Valentine's Day exchange; 7 chapters and just shy of 11k words long. Published shy of 5yrs ago
  8. I Was Thinking of You
    • 17 comments
    • First one-shot on this list
  9. Forever in Darkness
    • 15 comments
    • ML one-shot that's 4700 words long and published 5yrs ago
  10. Could Your Paradise Also Be Your Hell?
    • also 15 comments
  11. Is It True?
    • another 15 comments story
    • ML one-shot with only 937 words that was published shy of 4yrs ago
  12. You Pretended Not to Care
    • 14 comments
  13. Rolling Thunder
    • 11 comments
    • ML one-shot of another MLG fanfic. It's 4600 words long and was published a little over 2 years ago.

Yeah! Check that out! Could your Paradise Also Be Your Hell?, Forever in Darkness, and Is It True? all had YEARS to build up those comments, and I'm just 1 away from YPNTC matching them! Conversely, Rolling Thunder had roughly 18 months more than YPNTC to garner comments, and yet it is 3 shy. On top of all that, only four one-shots have more comments than YPNTC! I'm floored!

Comparatively, I Think I Like You (Maybe More Than I Should) is the 11th highest for my kudos count, 16th most-viewed, and 18th with regards to comments. It was also posted a month after YPNTC and has to compete with over 70K other fanfics within the ML fandom. Not too shabby there either. 

I mean, you could see above that my numbers aren't over-all impressive. My most-viewed story hasn't even reached 20k hits, but MLG's story is already over 66k! And she's not even one of the Big Creators that everyone follows and reads! Only 14k hits for me? Pssh, drop in a bucket!

Still, I'm impressed with how well my stories are doing anyway. ESPECIALLY You Pretended Not to Care. I just need to get more eyes on my work as a whole, somehow... 

Now, to finish up, my blessing for December. I did recap 2024, but this will be for December specifically.

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  • My family member is perfectly fine now (which is a blessing in and of itself), but her health scare did help lead me and Hubby towards being more serious about our own health goals.
  • We also got to spend time with our niece and nephew (and hubby's sister) even if briefly over Christmas.
  • My online friend is still with us, and she made sure to check in with me to let me know that she's alright. I hope her road to recovery is relatively smooth and short.

And, with that, I will leave you for a week or two. I hope to see you again on the 15th for LycoRogue's Reading Corner!

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Wednesday, December 4, 2024

Can I Get a Collab?

Est. Read Time: 20min
This Month's Font: Comic Neue (again)

Hey, Gang. You remember last update when I mentioned I have been working on an update since the summer, but it kept getting pushed back? That I should be able to publish a second update within November to try to get back on track with my uploading schedule? Yeah.... this would be that post.... The... uh... publishing schedule yet again didn't go as planned. Mostly because every time I'm nearly done with this update I get delayed. Then, when I have free time again, the time-sensitive portions of my post have passed and I have to rework. It was that way with my birthday week. Then again for Breast Cancer Awareness month and Halloween in October. And, most recently, talking about American Thanksgiving and my husband's birthday, assuming I'd be able to post this last week.

So, back to the proverbial drawing board I had to go yet again. Having to completely rework the opening of this post. Weeeeeeeee...

It's just easier to jump right into the point of this update.

Back in my September update, I had asked a seemingly rhetorical question: "I have surprisingly more to say now, but this post has already gotten so long.... how does that keep happening to me?"

In truth, I think I know the answer to the "how do these things get so long when I thought I had nothing to say?" question. 

After roleplaying again both in D&D and in World Wide Wrestling, I've noticed how stories briefly flowed easier for me again. Hubby would pitch an idea to me for an NPW, and I would help him build it up; come up with the backstory and personality. Secret lore developed from both the NPCs and my characters, in both the wrestling game and D&D. You probably picked up on that when I went off for ages about Ned Patrick Corney and the WWW plotlines we havegoing on. On top of all that, talking with Hubby about those roleplay games and a sci-fi Actual Play that we had watched had me thinking about Scum & Villainy again, as I mentioned last update.

On the fanfic front, I would read some fanfics - usually written by MostLovedGirl, if I'm honest - and their story alone would spark something. I would picture the scene from another character's perspective, or I'd think about a hand-waved scene (a "fade to black", if you will) and what could have happened there, or I would have expected a scene to go a different way. I'd typically write a theory or two in my comments on the fic. Then, either the fic's author or other readers would reply to my comments. After some back-and-forth, I would end up writing a spin-off story inspired by the original fic. (I talk more about this below)

Alternatively, I would hijack Ronoxym's stories based on our X-Future characters as we discussed how in- or out-of-character Willow or Trish were. Aurora Morgen or Dragnime would talk to me about their original stories, and I would just burst with ideas as I think of ways they could flesh out their worlds and/or characters more.

Finally, I would start off these blogs believing that I had nothing to truly say to you fine folks, or I'd lament about being stuck with where to go with a particular story. However, as I seemingly grasp at straws on what to tell you all, or I relay the problem with my latest story over to you, magically it all comes together. I suddenly have endless things to tell you, or the solution to a lingering literary problem manifests.

None of this happens in a vacuum though. If I simply talked to myself to try to work through my writer's block - or world building hiccups, or problem sections of my stories - I get nowhere. If I try to come up with stories completely off the dome my head is unbearably empty. No thoughts.

Panel from Shut Up, Takamori!
by Kamiharu Haruno

(Side tangent, but ChibiSunnie introduced me to this new manga series: Shut Up, Takamori! I am ADORING the story. It's so wonderfully unhinged. I'll talk more about it below. But this panel in particular is my new favorite panel ever. I just love her "head empty" expression! Now, back to our regularly scheduled topic....)

Why is it that my head just full-on flushes all inspiration and drive from my mind whenever I sit with a writing problem alone, but I can instantly crank the faucet on to full-stream if I'm relaying the info to ANYONE else, even if they can't respond? I think it's pretty obvious. What I'm truly missing is someone to collaborate with; someone to bounce ideas off of. Hubby can be that person on occasion, but, unfortunately, not often enough.

Honestly, I feel like I've known this about myself for years now. Since I don't have a consistent collaborator, though, I just try to pretend that I can do this alone. I mean, I kind of have to, or I'm forced to give up my passion, right?

It's not for lack of trying. I'll routinely ask for help and tell people my ideas, but none of them bounce back. There would be virtually no interaction there. People would tell me that my idea/story was interesting; keep going; what's next? All of which are very encouraging, don't get me wrong, but there's not really much there to build off of. There's no follow-up questions to help get my brain turning. There wasn't the same back-and-forth of, say

"Oh! But what about [blank]?"
"I love that! But what if I do it like this instead?"
"Yeah! And then [blank] could happen!"
"I didn't even THINK of that! YES!"

I just about never get that level of back-and-forth when I'm talking about my writing with someone. There's no engagement. Everyone is so passive as they listen to me. It's hard to get any kind of feedback from anyone. Even back when I would participate in a writing group, it was almost like pulling teeth to try to get critiques. I'd get a lot of encouraging nods and people telling me that they liked what I wrote, but that would be it. It didn't spark anything from them. It didn't get their own creative juices going as they excitedly tried to theorize on what could happen next, or what would happen if a character did x, y, or z instead. No one asked me follow-up world-building questions or suggested that a character act/react a certain way instead. No one would even tell me a specific phrase or line or bit of dialogue that they particularly enjoyed (or one that stood out like a sore thumb). Nothing. Just.... nothing.

Probably one of the core causes for my impostor syndrome. If I don't evoke creativity or engagement, could my stories TRULY be as good as people tell me? Is that why I'm forgotten in the fandom? My writing is entertaining, but it doesn't SPARK anything like other writers? Nothing lingers? I mean, I don't inspire fanfic spin-offs or fanart or fan comics or fan theories, etc. If people are only taking in my work passively, is my writing only about B-grade?

Ignoring THAT existential crisis for the moment. Let's go back to my need for someone to work with/build off of, a lot of the time I use you guys for the much-needed feedback. A sort of proxy, if you will. Even if I were to verbally talk to myself to get the ideas out - pitching them to myself and responding in kind - my brain empties.

"No. You are still just talking to yourself. No ideas for you!"

Writing to you fine folks, on the other hand, while I rarely get responses, I guess my brain still knows there's that possibility. I am projecting outward. I am talking to someone else. And, magically, my head fills with solutions or inspiration that had long eluded me.

I'll tell you guys what I'm planning for my story, and then I'll have some fictitious amalgamation of you all coming back at me with potential plot holes. As I respond to "you" I'm able to sort out those plot holes right then and there. In real-time. You guys have probably seen this very thing happen in my older posts.

This leads me to my biggest writing conundrum, though. I can't really use myself as a sounding board anymore, as we established. I HAVE to have something/someone exterior to me, and I rarely have that. Even if I continue to trick my mind by chatting "with" you fine folks (for however long that solution lasts before my brain becomes immune), it takes me about 6 weeks to publish anything! That's just too long to try to sort out ALL of my writing woes. Which brings me to my key question.

How do I trick my mind so writing can be a sort of solo activity again?

Don't get me wrong, I do have lots of support when it comes to people encouraging me to write, and telling me that I'm a good writer. However, when it comes to having that sounding board outside of myself? I'm dead in the water.

On the flipside, Hubby has me. He can come up with a character, pitch ideas my way, and/or give me broad-stroke storylines he's trying to flesh out. Then I'll take those seeds and run with them. Not long after, I'll bring back what I have, which sparks new inspiration in him. He tosses another seed my way, and I go full-bore. Rinse and repeat. 

Same with my writer friends. They'll give me broad-strokes of their story plot or world build. They'll give me character skeletons. They'll let me know the vibe they're trying to achieve. I'll respond with "Oooh, that's a good idea, I particularly love this element!" or "How about if you do this... or that?" or "What if this happened instead?" or "Oh, yeah! I can totally see [blank]" or "I like it, but I think it would be cooler if you do this." or even "Hmmm. I dunno. I don't really understand what you're going for there. Could you explain further?" So on and so forth.

For my writer friends - and even for Hubby as he character- and world-builds - I get invested and want to know more about the lore. I want to better understand the characters. I want to know why x-, y-, or z-solution wouldn't work out instead. I want them to paint a picture so I can better imagine the characters and the world they are building.

I keep asking for more and more and more like a little glutenous goblin.

And these back-and-forth sessions seem to really help as they try to find answers to my questions or more content for me to consume. I push them to dive deeper.

I never really had anyone - not even really my writing teachers - do the same for me and my writing. No one asks to know more about my OCs. No one asks for lore drops or further explanations for my worlds. No one questions why my characters pick one solution and not another. No one asks me to further explain something. No one theorizes. No one suggests, "What if this instead?"

Which is a bit of a struggle.

Again, don't get me wrong, it's encouraging that everyone who reads my stuff goes, "Wow, this is amazing. There's really nothing there that I can help you improve on." But, can that possibly be true? It can't, right? It's impossible for there to not be something that I can improve on. In ALL of my writing over the years, it can't possibly be true that the only thing people have questioned was the fight scene choreography I wrote up for Devon and Trish.

I would LOVE it if my writing was so good that nothing further needs explaining, or that my characters' decisions made perfect sense to the reader 100% of the time. That can't be possible though. Especially all the way back at the young age of 18.

Again, reflecting on my time with the writing group, I would be able to give suggestions to just about everyone who read their works aloud:

"I really liked this line"
"This phrasing was amazing"
"You really evoked this feeling of [blank] here"
"I'm curious as to why your character didn't do [blank] instead"
"I wish your character was a bit more [blank] in that scene"
"The wording doesn't quite work. What about something closer to [blank]?"
"I'm confused on the structure of this society. Could you elaborate on [blank]?"
"Oooo! I really love what you have here. Could you expand on that?"
"We were able to sort out what the character was doing from earlier descriptions.
       It's redundant to full-on tell us here. I think you can cut it."
"This feels too vague. I got confused as to who they were talking about"
"This is my new favorite character! I need more of them!"
"That is such an awesome character name! I love it!"
"I CANNOT keep this character's name in my head no matter how many times
       I see it. Sorry."
"Oooo! That's fun lore! Can we get more of it? I want to know more!"

You get the idea.

While I was able to just about always find SOMETHING to comment on for everyone else's story - what I liked, what didn't work for me, how they could improve, theories/questions that popped into my head while hearing/reading the story, etc - I almost never got the same level of feedback in return. The notable exception was whenever I'd get feedback on my fanfics. Almost always, when there was something they really liked, or they were confused about, or they think I should present in another way.... it was something canon to Miraculous Ladybug. Therefore, the praise was for the show's writers; not me. The confusion was because of the show's canon, and the corrections suggested would kind of break the mythos/lore the show presented. Not bad, if you're writing what's known as "fix-it fics" where your goal is to take canon and "correct" it. For me, though? When I'm trying to write close-to-canon? Those suggestions weren't much help, sadly..... In other words, the engagement was almost never for my original content within the ML universe.

Even if I were to take the suggestions and work on a "fix-it fic" instead, I would simply be repairing somebody else's story, not expanding upon my own.

Which circles me back to my earlier question: Am I truly a good writer if I can't evoke engagement with my stories?

The struggle isn't just with the lack of engagement when talking about my stories directly to people such as my husband, my writing group, or my writing friends. It's when I scroll through Tumblr and I see this person post about a scene in a fic that spoke to them so much that they couldn't resist drawing it out. Or someone really loved a character's redesign and they had to try it out themselves via fanart. When I first joined the ML fandom, I was actually introduced to a few fics via an artist drawing out comic adaptations of certain fic chapters they especially adored. I have also personally written fanfics based off other people's fan works.

My old Hey Arnold! fic I Thought You Liked Redheads was inspired by fanart of Helga Pataki with her hair dyed red and the artist noting that Arnold's first two crushes were redheads.

My one ML Christmas story Perfect Doesn't Need To Be Perfect was a retelling of Taurus Pixie's story Twelve Days of Chatmas, but from Marinette's point of view instead of Adrien's.

Ladybug's Simp Squad was based off of fanart of Adrien and Alya wearing "Ladybug Simp" sweatshirts and the subsequent Tumblr thread of people coming up with the backstory behind the sweatshirts.

Could Your Paradise Also Be Your Hell was a retelling of a chapter from MostLovedGirl's fanfic Remember That Time When... filling in the gap of what Marinette did while Adrien went to bed alone.

Likewise, Rolling Thunder was inspired by MLG's story Finding Yourself in the Details, and I Think I Like You (Maybe More Than I Should) was a retelling of her story Ha! You Think That's Embarrassing? but from Adrien's POV instead of Marinette's.

Meanwhile, with the exception of ChibiSunnie drawing fanart of my one HA! fic, and someone else drawing fanart of the Chat Noir Appreciation Day outfits I had Marinette, Adrien, Alya, and Nino wear in Peeping Tomcat. I have had nothing. No other fanart. No fan comics. No spin-off fanfics. No theorizing. No story recommendations. Nada.

Again, I want to stress that I do indeed get lovely feedback. I do. I love all the reviews that I get. They make me smile every single time. Be they long multi-paragraph gush-fests or a simple heart emoji. I love them all so dearly. Every last one is precious to me. I love everyone who tells me that I am definitely a writer. You keep me going.

As do those small handful of readers who have mentioned in their reviews that they've read my story multiple times before realizing they never left a comment. Or the one or two readers who purposefully left a second comment to let me know that they HAD to come back to re-read my story. Or the precious few who have written in their review how much my story moved them.

Each of those reviews are torches leading me through the darkness of my uncertainty.

Which is why leaving a comment/review is so important to artists, btw....

But this lack-of-engagement thing outside of those... maybe dozen people? The fact that MY stories don't seem to inspire spin-offs or retellings or fanart or theorizing, etc? When I've shared maybe half-a-dozen of those Tumblr Ask games where followers are encouraged to ask you about your OCs or writing, and I've maybe gotten 2 responses total from all them? The struggle I have to come up with content myself; without being inspired by someone else's work? The need to bounce ideas off of someone else (if I'm not outright swiping their idea; I mean I AM a FANFIC writer....)? I dunno. I guess it all adds up, and it's been years now since I've truly felt like a writer.

Circling back to my original point, not that it's unrelated to this "Am I truly a writer?" crisis I've been going through. I guess the reason I write fanfiction - both based off of officially published works as well as based off of other fanworks - is the same reason why I love social, collaborative roleplay games like D&D, Scum & Villainy, Blades in the Dark, or World Wide Wrestling. It's the ability to co-write a bigger story with other people. To take the start of what someone else created and expand upon it. To "Yes, and..." off of someone.

Maybe that's why my only real concepts for "original stories" are retellings of those roleplay games: relaying over what happened to Jolene in her D&D campaign, letting the world see the adventures of the second generation of X-men in X-future, displaying the chaos that The Stardancer crew has caused the universe in Scum & Villainy.

I dunno. I have no clue what to do with all of this info. How to process it. What it means for my writing in the future. Is it something I have to work on, or is it something I just need to learn to work WITH?

I just... I guess I had a mild epiphany and I wanted to share it?

The only thing I truly know after all of this is that I need a permanent writing partner. Any takers?

In the meantime, I'm still chugging away at my reading. No novels yet, but a TON of digital comics still.

My weekly schedule has expanded to:

My completed series list now is up to:

*The Duke's Teddy Bear is a bit complicated. I ALMOST completed the story. I got as far as free reading will get me. I have 3 more episodes to go to fully complete the story, but that will take 9 coins total to unlock. Translation? Roughly only about $1. I've just been stubborn about giving the app my money. Instead, I've been grinding out one of the games Webtoon advertises in order to earn Webtoon coins. Honestly, it might be worth just giving Webtoon the buck.

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And then we have the series that are either Canvas, and therefore don't update regularly, or are on hiatus. I read these in those lull-days (Sunday, Wednesday, and/or Thursday):

Then there's Double The Trouble, Twice As Nice over on Comikey. I gave it enough time that more chapters are up. I'm debating if I dive back in since I loved this series so much, and it updates roughly every fortnight.

There's also a few other stories that I had started up but haven't kept up with that I could bring back into rotation: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Growing Up Gerudo, Mythic Item Obtained, or Blood Stain over on Webtoon, or either My Housemate Sano-kun Is Just My Editor! or The Lady Likes a Nerd over Princes on Comikey.

On top of AAAAAAALLLLL of that, I also have probably another dozen stories on my To Read list on Webtoon, and half as many over on Comikey!

It may have been over a year since I've picked up a traditional book, but I sure as hecken getting back into reading daily before bed.

And that's not including keeping up with zenmisery's latest story Intensity.

Finally, there's that manga I mentioned earlier (the one with the "Head Empty" panel): Shut Up, Takamori!

Sadly, only the first chapter is free to read, but, MAN, am I itching for more of that story!

Minamikawa knows a secret about her classmate, Takamori.

Or rather, she’s forced to know, since as a telepath, she can hear Takamori's thoughts... which on most days, contain blatant confessions of his love for her!

A high school rom-com about an easily flustered telepathic girl [who] wants to shut up her secret suiter's lovey-dovey thoughts!

        - Official Summary from Manga UP!

Aside from the greatly amusing illustrations (see: above "Head Empty" panel), the story itself is hilarious. For anyone who watches anime/reads mangas, or anyone who consumes content inspired by anime/manga. You know all of those scenes where the character is cool, calm, and collected on the surface, and then the audience sees their inner thoughts where they go absolutely feral or are beyond love-sick? Now picture those moments, but from the perspective of the person the cool and collected character is thinking about... and said topic of those thoughts is telepathic.

Takamori usually keeps to himself, not wanting to bother Minamikawa. However, whenever she hands him his dropped pencil or eraser she's flooded with his thoughts of how sweet and kind she is and how close they are and how he has to keep it together. She tries to deter his affections by being mean to him, only to INSTANTLY feel guilty and play it off as her simply teasing him. Which then means he finds her even MORE adorable.

She is being love bombed without the poor guy even realizing he's doing it. And seeing her freak out about how to handle the situation is fantastic! Especially since he's never outwardly shown her affection, so she can't even turn him down without revealing her secret of being a telepath. So, she decides to change tactics and essentially tries to get him to confess his feelings to her so that she has an excuse to know of his affections. THEN she can turn him down and hope he can move on.

Problem is, her attempts to get HIM to confess just makes it look like SHE is flirting.

For anyone who has watched/read Don't Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro, this manga gives kind of the same vibes.

Man! I wish I could get more of it without paying. It sucks being poor....

Circling back to my writing. As mentioned, I kind of fell off the wagon pretty quickly during November. I only barely chipped away at Seduce With Caution. I think I'm redoing the sex scene I've already written. I still need to finish up the Adrien Confesses To Marinette scene. There's also a lot of connecting scenes that I have to iron out still.

So, for reals, if anyone wants to jump aboard as my beta or something, I'm game! I really REALLY want to get back on track with this story, at least. Gift it to zenmisery before she disappears like a cryptid again. Then, MAYBE I can FINALLY get back on track with One And The Same finally.

Maybe my first step is to try to get an actual December update done, so this can remain my "belated November" update.

Let's see how I do this go.....

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